'the mother'' and your relationship with her and her relationship with you and the other people in your family.
Your relationship with her was/is (if she is still in your life) very dysfunctional and highly judgemental. Your natural Virgo tendency of feeling inferior or demeaned was brought to a toxic point.
I am sure this is a lot of what you and your therapist discuss...
Just last night!
Yes, my mom is still here. My parents in their 80s are among my best friends and I've long since come to grips with their shortcomings.
BUT we talked about how I was such a perfectionist over-achiever as a child in my own world I never noticed how it affected my siblings. And by the time I got to high school and college it had gradually become taboo to even mention my achievements at all!
I felt betrayed when neighbors over for coffee asked how I was doing in college and my mom always changed the subject to what my sisters were doing.
I suppose that's a kind of abuse, even though as an adult I can see now she was responsible for the mental well-being of 4 kids, and my sister had a lot of anxiety and rebellion problems; it really can't have been easy for my mom. I guess my parents just didn't realize that, no matter how many achievements I had, I was still that Virgo who was so self-critical and had low self-esteem.
Thank you, Lin, for bringing me back to this subject at this exact moment! so I can make the connection. I swear when I 1) began therapy and 2) starting looking into my moon situation, I never ever thought we would go all cliché and end up talking about my mother!
I'm very sorry you've had to come to terms with your mother, but glad that you seem to have come out the other side with awareness. All the best to you.
I know that your post has done a lot for me today, given me a brand-new perspective as these things all come together.