Letting a Pisces man down easy

So I'm a taurus woman in the midst of a dilemma with a pisces friend of mine. We met through mutual friends about a year and half ago and I truly, truly care for him. Immensely, deeply. And in all honesty, my feelings for him travel beyond friendship. He has claimed, on several occasions that he loves me. Any chance he gets, situations in which we find ourselves alone, he tries to take our relationship to the next level. Not in a physical way; simply by reiterating his feelings for me. So many feelings! He seems to thrive on that. Which I love and appreciate...sometimes.
With all the water in his chart (ascendant, moon and mars in scorpio and venus in pisces) I can't really imagine it any other way. I also have some water in my chart (venus and mars in pisces in my 12th house), but even I can't take the depth of his emotions, at times.
I was surprised by how willing he was to let him in on his feelings. I thought he would be more closed off than that. But he's more open than I thought.
And as much as I care about him - he's been a liberating and transformative influence in my life- I can't help but shake the feeling that we are not meant to be together. As close as we are - rather as close as I allow us to be - I feel like a romantic relationship between the two of us isn't in the cards.
I will admit that a part of me is terrified of what it would mean to be with him: I would have to give up something of myself and I am, in no way, willing to do so. I do think of giving in and giving it a shot, but a voice in me tells me that he simply idolizes what I am or what we could be.

As a taurus with a gemini moon and aries ascendant, I honestly believe he is better off with a Scorpio or Pisces lady. Someone more willing to accept what he has to offer. And he has a lot to offer...to the right woman. Whom I believe, I am not.
But it's been months and he's shown no sign of letting up and remain friends (all the scorpio in him, I suppose). And I've come to the point where I don't think even being friends with him is a possibility. I seriously contemplate severing all ties with him, no matter how painful it would be for me. Or him.

How do I let him know that he and I will simple not be?

And keep in mind, I've turned down his advances in the past, letting him know how much he means to me AS A FRIEND. I've told him, repeatedly that we would never work and that I'm trying to save both some heartache before even attempting anything. Because if we were to ever cross that line, we would NEVER go back to the way things were.
And even if I tried to cut off all contact, that would never work for long, as my roommate is one of his closest friends.
So I'm at a loss.

Netty said:

So I'm a taurus woman in the midst of a dilemma with a pisces friend of mine. We met through mutual friends about a year and half ago and I truly, truly care for him. Immensely, deeply. And in all honesty, my feelings for him travel beyond friendship. He has claimed, on several occasions that he loves me. Any chance he gets, situations in which we find ourselves alone, he tries to take our relationship to the next level. Not in a physical way; simply by reiterating his feelings for me. So many feelings! He seems to thrive on that. Which I love and appreciate...sometimes.
With all the water in his chart (ascendant, moon and mars in scorpio and venus in pisces) I can't really imagine it any other way. I also have some water in my chart (venus and mars in pisces in my 12th house), but even I can't take the depth of his emotions, at times.
I was surprised by how willing he was to let him in on his feelings. I thought he would be more closed off than that. But he's more open than I thought.
And as much as I care about him - he's been a liberating and transformative influence in my life- I can't help but shake the feeling that we are not meant to be together. As close as we are - rather as close as I allow us to be - I feel like a romantic relationship between the two of us isn't in the cards.
I will admit that a part of me is terrified of what it would mean to be with him: I would have to give up something of myself and I am, in no way, willing to do so. I do think of giving in and giving it a shot, but a voice in me tells me that he simply idolizes what I am or what we could be.

As a taurus with a gemini moon and aries ascendant, I honestly believe he is better off with a Scorpio or Pisces lady. Someone more willing to accept what he has to offer. And he has a lot to offer...to the right woman. Whom I believe, I am not.
But it's been months and he's shown no sign of letting up and remain friends (all the scorpio in him, I suppose). And I've come to the point where I don't think even being friends with him is a possibility. I seriously contemplate severing all ties with him, no matter how painful it would be for me. Or him.

How do I let him know that he and I will simple not be?

And keep in mind, I've turned down his advances in the past, letting him know how much he means to me AS A FRIEND. I've told him, repeatedly that we would never work and that I'm trying to save both some heartache before even attempting anything. Because if we were to ever cross that line, we would NEVER go back to the way things were.
And even if I tried to cut off all contact, that would never work for long, as my roommate is one of his closest friends.
So I'm at a loss.

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So....in fact....you AREN'T interested romantically...

Tell him upfront now. Be direct since being gentle hasn't been working in the past. You aren't interested in dating him and you just see him like a friend. Then just stop talking to him/entertaining his responses. Your roommate is one of his closest friends. Doesn't mean you have to talk to him. Tell your rm the situation so she/he gets it and can help you work it out if the guy is still pushing. This doesn't need to be complicated.

I wish it weren't that complicated. It's draining. And I wish I could just make it clear once and for all and he'd drop it. But he thrives on 'complicated'. And it pisses me off, to say the least. I never wanted to get to the point where I'd ask someone else for help on the matter.
I know a few people who've dealt with pisces and have complained about the so-called disappearing acts. It leaves to wonder when he's gonna pull one of those.

Hello -

Tell him you love him forever - that he will always be close in your heart and that your love for him will never fade and that you are done with the relationship as it is, but you look forward to a kind friendship with him in the future.

Insist that he doesn't sulk and feel sorry for himself - Tell him he's too much of a good person and that helping others through hard times is more important than feeling bad for yourself. Remind him that the world needs him and that love is just around the corner and then tell him you can't be false to your own heart.

@Kitchy-
He is a great guy, flaws and all. He does possess this amazing ability to help people. More like, guide. Any woman would be very lucky to have him.
He's just getting on my nerves and has been for the past few weeks. He seems more insistent.
I've gone from being kind and understanding (venus in pisces, can't help it) to screaming my *** off -thinking that would drive the point home. More often than not, I'd be screaming and he'd watch me quietly while I gesticulated wildly (moon square mars- I don't really have that taurus patience).
From that approach, I moved to fighting back, pushing back. Still it didn't work. My last resort is to avoid, evade, ignore, refuse to engage...after a reasonable explanation.
I just hope he doesn't follow as I walk away.

Regarding the screaming and yelling: if it helps - here's a poem I offer you in recognition of your plight.

I found a little puppy and I brought him home to play
I gave him love and dinner
Now, he will not go away
I yell at him and scream at him with eyes that flash with hate
But he just keeps on whimpering beside his empty plate


Never yell at a pisces man - it usually gives them a boner.

Priceless.
If I do find the pisces for me, I might just do that.

Sun-sign astrology isn't the issue in this case. The Sun-sign is about ability and methodology, not intrinsic nature. He's a Scorpio with Sun in Pisces. Treat him as you would a dependent Scorpio. Have you had many experiences with Scorpio men?

david starling said:

Sun-sign astrology isn't the issue in this case. The Sun-sign is about ability and methodology, not intrinsic nature. He's a Scorpio with Sun in Pisces. Treat him as you would a dependent Scorpio. Have you had many experiences with Scorpio men?

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I don't have much experience with scorpio men as opposed to scorpio women. My best friend is one, with mars in scorpio as well. But she has air placements to offset all that water. Scorpio is intercepted in my libran 7th house, as a result I tend to gravitate toward those that have a scorpio energy to them. This pisces is the first I've ever dealt with that has a prominent scorpio energy.
It's definitely different.

What's your Scorpio friend's advice?

Hit it and quit it!

While she did say that...on a more serious note, she thinks he needs to chill. Not much advice about what I should do, so much as criticizing his behavior.

Netty, have you looked at your synastry? This would be a lot more meaningful than generalities about sun signs. Do you want to post your charts? (If you don't have a birth time, just input it as "unknown.") A midpoint composite chart would be helpful, as well.

Emotional need and attachment or lack thereof seems more like a moon thing. If your suns are sextiled, you can feel like terrific friends. But note that your suns could also be semi-squared with a Taurus-Pisces configuration. Scorpio and Taurus are opposite signs, so it may be that some of his Scorpio planets stressfully oppose your Taurus sun.

A Gemini moon needs a light touch, and delights in easy, scintillating conversation and information-gathering. By sign, it squares Pisces, and doesn't relate to Scorpio well.

Waybread, please describe (if possible) a Geminian version of "scintillating conversations"! Is it like, say, plans to remodel or redecorate their Thought Palaces; or something other Signs could maybe relate to and participate in? --baffled Aquarianized Piscean

He is anything but boring. He's extremely insightful. I appreciate and admire his perspective, always. With his merc in aries, I like his bluntness and the fact that I can engage in spirited debates - my 1st house merc enjoys that a lot.
With a gem moon, there's always the stigma of wanting to keep conversations light, breezy, superficial. But with a tight merc-pluto natal opposition (within 1deg), I find that irritating after a while.
Don't get me wrong, when things get too deep, I revert back to superficiality and end up berating myself for it; I know I should delve deeper into a matter and choose not to.

@waybread - I've never looked into our synastry. I did draw up his chart soon after meeting him, but never looked at how we relate.
I'll post our synastry later. I don't really have the time right now.
What I do know is that his sun, mercury and venus fall in 12th house. I feel that. A lot. It's a invasive, intrusive. It's too close for comfort. At times, it leaves me feeling unsettled and to an extreme, a bit violated.

David, Astrology works well when we think of it like a grammar or set of puzzle pieces, vs. some inexplicable suite of static character traits.

Moon: needs, emotional nature (plus other stuff like Mom, the house....)

Gemini: dual mutable air sign ruled by Mercury. Air=mental, even intellectual. Mutable=changeable, adaptable. Mercury rules thought and communication.

Moon in Gemini has emotional needs for mental stimulation. Not so much fixed ideas that never vary, but for conversation, exchange of ideas with another person (dual.)

What a Gemini moon would like to talk and think about probably depends upon the moon's house and aspects, as well as the situation of Mercury. If Venus rules the sign on the house cusp, we need to check out Venus, as well.

Netty, of course I could be wrong, but I'd be surprised if this man's Scorpio planets aren't rubbing you the wrong way. Scorpio learns its own limits by pressing its suit on other people-- until they say stop! This far and no further!

I personally don't like those Astrodienst bi-wheels. I find them hard to read and they don't show the degrees. Two separate charts are easier, plus you can see what each person is like as relationship material. The composite chart shows how the couple functions as its own entity, vs. two separate individuals.

waybread said:

Netty, of course I could be wrong, but I'd be surprised if this man's Scorpio planets aren't rubbing you the wrong way. Scorpio learns its own limits by pressing its suit on other people-- until they say stop! This far and no further!

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It isn't so much that they rub me the wrong way. I believe he pushes the issue because he thinks there's a window of opportunity. I can't even deny that (he would know) as there are feelings on my end as well. Yet I'm convinced that if we were to...go there, romantically, it would end in disaster. So I'm saying no.
I want to, yet I don't.
My struggle isn't solely with him, but within myself as well. I have to deal with these contradicting feelings and the best way I know to fight them is through fighting him. If that makes sense. It sometimes doesn't even make sense to me, but...oh well, that's where I find myself.

His chart deets:

Sun 29°39' Pisces
Moon 6°47' Scorpio
Mercury 10°38' Aries
Venus 6°51' Pisces
Mars 26°48' Scorpio
Jupiter 10°29' Capricorn
Saturn 15°53' Scorpio
Uranus 13°34' Sagittarius
Neptune 1°22' Capricorn
Pluto 1°35' Scorpio
Chiron 28°48' Taurus
Ceres 1°18' Aries
Pallas 0°56' Pisces
Juno 2°19' Gemini
Vesta 20°25' Gemini
Node 9°06' Gemini
Lilith 11°53' Pisces
Fortune 27°14' Pisces
AS 4°22' Scorpio
MC 11°05' Leo


House 1 4°22' Scorpio
House 2 2°55' Sagittarius
House 3 5°46' Capricorn
House 4 11°05' Aquarius
House 5 14°05' Pisces
House 6 11°48' Aries
House 7 4°22' Taurus
House 8 2°55' Gemini
House 9 5°46' Cancer
House 10 11°05' Leo
House 11 14°05' Virgo
House 12 11°48' Libra


My chart:

Sun 6°39' Taurus
Moon 5°08' Gemini
Mercury 16°51' Taurus
Venus 22°14' Pisces
Mars 4°41' Pisces
Jupiter 6°19' Cancer
Saturn 25°17' Capricorn
Uranus 9°31' Capricorn
Neptune 14°33' Capricorn
Pluto 16°41' Scorpio
Chiron 11°55' Cancer
Ceres 8°21' Cancer
Pallas 18°36' Taurus
Juno 19°43' Scorpio
Vesta 13°22' Aries
Node 12°19' Aquarius
Lilith 9°49' Scorpio
Fortune 27°11' Pisces
AS 25°39' Aries
MC 11°15' Capricorn

House 1 25°39' Aries
House 2 1°09' Gemini
House 3 22°42' Gemini
House 4 11°15' Cancer
House 5 1°53' Leo
House 6 1°47' Virgo
House 7 25°39' Libra
House 8 1°09' Sagittarius
House 9 22°42' Sagittarius
House 10 11°15' Capricorn
House 11 1°53' Aquarius
House 12 1°47' Pisces


Best I can do right now.

Netty, can you please post the charts? Most of us work with the graphic horoscopes. The data tables are difficult to translate.

Just briefly, it looks like you've got some very good Venus-Mars chemistry (the sexy, romantic planets) but your suns don't connect. Your moons don't connect. These are important for feelings of friendship and ego compatibility (suns) and emotional feelings of being at home with one another. His moon and ascendant exactly oppose your sun, so you connect, but in a way that you might feel as Scorpio's intrusive quality.

There's more, but it's too hard to read off the data tables.

p.s. It's better if you leave off the asteroids, except perhaps Juno.