What gives him power over me? Why I can't forget him? After all the pain he gave me.

sadge

Well-known member
Well I'm trying to study my chart but it doesn't happen as someone more experienced would help me. I don't have contact with him unless he contact me, I don't do it. So do the charts say that the relationship is doomed? What can be told about the charts? If he change ( I doubt it but... ) I want him always and I will accept the pain only if he's mine in the future


Okay Leo,

I apologize for my previously direct and short response. But since you had already generated every possible interpretation to your question from other members on this forum, I didn’t see it was necessary to go into the astrology of this synastry. But if you want my honest opinion, here you go....

Your case is really pretty simple. To start, the two of you are not a good match. Period. But more importantly, you already have a natal venus square pluto. Then this guy came along and triggered that within you. Most “obsessive” manifestations of a relationship can usually be traced to a pluto interaspect, whether it is venus or any other significant planet. So the problem here is not HIM. (Although he clearly has problems too.) The problem here is your own tendency to be obsessive about intimate relationships. And this will most likely always be the case for you because both of those planets represent your relationship axis, therefore most relationships that your find appealing will be with those people who trigger these planets, which then always triggers this hard aspect within you (the square), which then trigger your obsession….get it? So again, I can’t say this enough…..the focus right now in your head needs to be on YOU. It’s time to fix YOU, not this other guy or the failed relationship.

Read everything out there that you can about the characteristics of people with a hard venus/pluto aspect in their natal charts. Then you can go ahead and multiply that by 100 to make is represent the intensity of obsession and codependent attachment that you bring to your relationships. The reason for this is because not only do you have that aspect in your natal, but they are amplified by the fact that they represent your ac/dc axis AND rest on your angles.

I know when it is worth my time to step in and offer practical advice and when I need to just step back and let the flames continue to die down on their own. Right now, just based on the severity of your continued obsession, it is apparent that you are not in a frame of mind that is capable of being objective about this relationship, nor are you able to see that the harm caused by it to both of you. Both of you keep each other locked down in your lowest possible form of expression. Everyone here has told you to step away. You should listen to this advice.

Recovery from any kind of addiction takes time. Your addiction right now is this relationship. And possibly future relationships as well. So do whatever you have to do to create distance between you and this man (distance in time and space). One day you will finally have enough distance and maturity to realize how foolish you have been to waste so much time on this. But none of us here can force maturity upon you. That is something you learn with time. You are very young. By astrological standards, you have to get to your first Saturn return to really begin understanding yourself in relation to the world around you. You are just now beginning to grow up. And there’s still a long way to go.

Let’s start by studying your natal. Create distance between yourself and this man. We will know that you’ve done that after you step away from your computer and stop asking questions about him. As long as you continue to let your mind be glued to this person, and continue to be glued to your computer, you should know that you still have a long way to go before you will begin to taste your greatest potential in life. Instead, you are letting the lowest possible manifestation of your natal chart take over.

The time is now to begin understanding yourself. The time is now to stop behaving like this. The time is now to stop obsessing about another person. Start obsessing about yourself. Start by studying your own natal chart. There is enough on the web for beginners to start getting their feet wet.

You can do this. But it’s not going to happen until you reach your own breaking point of finally wanting a better life for yourself. Obsessing about a person or relationship like this is not anything to be proud of, nor will it take you where you need to go in life. It’s time to wake up.

S.
 
Last edited:

leo468

Well-known member
I was in a similar situation once (not physical but psychological abuse: insults,trying to make me feel less worthy and similar) . I've made a progress not when we stopped seeing each other but when I understood that thinking about him is actualy stealing MY TIME from ME. Then, I've decided to FOCUS on me,my life, my health and my happiness. Each time a though about him "came", I did the protection method I've learned in the mean time and "cut it" with a sword (its a technique of protection from emotional vampires: the sword is made of blue light and you actually cut the "wires" which connect you to the other person and let the thought of that person come to you and annoy you) . Something like an octapus and his many legs. It helped. Search for that on the internet, also for aura / integrity protection/ emotional vampires and cutting off the "channels". Much love.

I do understand that I am losing my time, thinking about him and being obsessed but however hard I try to stop I can't stop the feelings. He is emotional vampire indeed. Thank you for the advice. I really should understand it's time to pay attention to myself. I understand what you are saying but I can't understand anything in the sites about the aura protection and so on. Can you write here or send me message your experience because I understand more when someone tells me. Thank you very much
 

leo468

Well-known member
hi leo 468
your sun/moon midpoint is conjunct to the venus/eros conjunctions which shows that there is a strong affection the bottom of the relationship.

psyche is opposed to ceres and square to mars showing a idealized love that wants to serve him.

the mars/venus midpoint is opposed to Lilith showing the attraction and love spontaneously arises from your deepest emotional sensitivity.

the unreal intensity you are feeling is shown by the Jupiter/Uranus midpoint conjunct to the vertex with the vertex on the ascendant.
the vertex on the ascendant always gives a since of a other worldly connection. you and he had very similar strange coincides in your lives that make you feel there is a kind of destiny or karma between you. the vertex on the ascendant can give a kind of psychic connection but it is usually difficult to integrate these feelings in a normal relationship. your emotions keep pushing you to expect you and he will suddenly be together ,even married . but this is not likely because Uranus and Jupiter together also how sudden breakups.

mercury is square to Uranus which adds a psychic astral connection but this too is gives a unstable relationship and even though it can give you common dreams it also shows that you and he have different ideas and aren't compatible .

but you must let go because this is a unhealthy relationship.
nessus is square the node which shows his only desires are to dominate and abuse you. you know this already because of his lioes. but the energies of the "super natural vertex keep making you think that the strong sense of destiny between you will overcome his selfishness.... it will not the crazy intensity you are feeling is real. but it will not lead you to true love a as the eros/psyche midpoint conjunct sedna makes you feel and think

Thank you rahu. Thanks for the reading. This psychic astral connection , I feel it , so does it when I feel he thinks about me it's true? Also can it be shown in the composite what are HIS feelings towards me? Does he still have sexual desire for me?
 

leo468

Well-known member
Okay Leo,

I apologize for my previously direct and short response. But since you had already generated every possible interpretation to your question from other members on this forum, I didn’t see it was necessary to go into the astrology of this synastry. But if you want my honest opinion, here you go....

Your case is really pretty simple. To start, the two of you are not a good match. Period. But more importantly, you already have a natal venus square pluto. Then this guy came along and triggered that within you. Most “obsessive” manifestations of a relationship can usually be traced to a pluto interaspect, whether it is venus or any other significant planet. So the problem here is not HIM. (Although he clearly has problems too.) The problem here is your own tendency to be obsessive about intimate relationships. And this will most likely always be the case for you because both of those planets represent your relationship axis, therefore most relationships that your find appealing will be with those people who trigger these planets, which then always triggers this hard aspect within you (the square), which then trigger your obsession….get it? So again, I can’t say this enough…..the focus right now in your head needs to be on YOU. It’s time to fix YOU, not this other guy or the failed relationship.

Read everything out there that you can about the characteristics of people with a hard venus/pluto aspect in their natal charts. Then you can go ahead and multiply that by 100 to make is represent the intensity of obsession and codependent attachment that you bring to your relationships. The reason for this is because not only do you have that aspect in your natal, but they are amplified by the fact that they represent your ac/dc axis AND rest on your angles.

I know when it is worth my time to step in and offer practical advice and when I need to just step back and let the flames continue to die down on their own. Right now, just based on the severity of your continued obsession, it is apparent that you are not in a frame of mind that is capable of being objective about this relationship, nor are you able to see that the harm caused by it to both of you. Both of you keep each other locked down in your lowest possible form of expression. Everyone here has told you to step away. You should listen to this advice.

Recovery from any kind of addiction takes time. Your addiction right now is this relationship. And possibly future relationships as well. So do whatever you have to do to create distance between you and this man (distance in time and space). One day you will finally have enough distance and maturity to realize how foolish you have been to waste so much time on this. But none of us here can force maturity upon you. That is something you learn with time. You are very young. By astrological standards, you have to get to your first Saturn return to really begin understanding yourself in relation to the world around you. You are just now beginning to grow up. And there’s still a long way to go.

Let’s start by studying your natal. Create distance between yourself and this man. We will know that you’ve done that after you step away from your computer and stop asking questions about him. As long as you continue to let your mind be glued to this person, and continue to be glued to your computer, you should know that you still have a long way to go before you will begin to taste your greatest potential in life. Instead, you are letting the lowest possible manifestation of your natal chart take over.

The time is now to begin understanding yourself. The time is now to stop behaving like this. The time is now to stop obsessing about another person. Start obsessing about yourself. Start by studying your own natal chart. There is enough on the web for beginners to start getting their feet wet.

You can do this. But it’s not going to happen until you reach your own breaking point of finally wanting a better life for yourself. Obsessing about a person or relationship like this is not anything to be proud of, nor will it take you where you need to go in life. It’s time to wake up.

S.

If I could remove all the feelings and obsession I would. Believe me. But it's hard for me because I'm stubborn ( I guess it's my mars opposite saturn natal + pluto square venus ) and I never give up. When I put my eyes on something, even God can't stop me. I am away from him. I don't contact him, I am enough away. I don't even have his current phone number, and I won't go around his house to stalk him. I am distanced but I can't stop these thoughts and feelings. In the past when I woke up he was the first thing I think about and all day I'm thinking about him 24/7. I had nervous breakdown because of him and I didn't sleep 3 days straight. I had period that I started drinking non stop because of him but then I stopped because I had panic attacks. When I forget about his existence, then he appears in my dreams every night to remind me about himself. If it was easy for me, I wouldn't make this thread and beg for astrological reading. I'm not doing anything actually. I won't kill myself over him nor I would kill to have him. In the past I was shaking and having high blood pressure from jealousy when I knew he's with another women. Now I'm not jealous which is big progress for me !!! I am giving myself attention and I'm trying hard to understand myself. I know I'm foolish now but I have questions in my mind who don't give me rest. I'm dying to know what are his feelings towards me. This question I want to be seen astrologically in the charts. I don't care what will be the answer , whatever it is , after I get good reply , I will be glad and calm. Thank you very very much for your advice . I will use it
 

katydid

Well-known member
"I'm foolish now but I have questions in my mind who don't give me rest. I'm dying to know what are his feelings towards me. This question I want to be seen astrologically in the charts. I don't care what will be the answer , whatever it is , after I get good reply , I will be glad and calm. Thank you very very much for your advice . I will use it"




Are you sure that you want to know how he feels about you? :bandit:


He doesn't care about you one bit. His elevated Mercury in Aquarius, tightly opposes your Personal Leo stuff---Sun/Moon/N Node. He couldn't care less about you or your feelings or your future.

In fact, he got a kick out of hurting you whenever possible. But out of sight, out of mind. You mean NOTHING to him.

You say that 'thoughts about him' keep you up all night. That is YOUR fault, your problem. You are purposely allowing yourself to wallow in those painful memories.

You need to get some help with that. Something in your childhood set this up, that you feel you DESERVE to be treated as if you were worthless and awful.:unsure:

Use this horrible corpse of a relationship to help yourself ----only you can make the necessary changes to stop this cycle of abuse now. :pouty:
 
Last edited:

Neptunian Rainbow

Well-known member
Regarding his feelings I have the following things to say: When a person is in the state in which he is now, he is not capable of feeling the way you do. Aspects in a synastry chart cannot tell you everything that you want to know. People like him can feel a craving for a person, but it is more in the same way that they crave a substance that can give them a kick or a feeling of relief or power. It is not the kind of love that makes you willing to sacrifice yourself for a person and endure almost anything in order to be with that person. If you would be with him I imagine that you would not want to be unfaithful because it is him you want. He on the other hand is seeking kicks and many female bodies can offer that as well as all kinds of bottles of beer in the store.

Do you remember how it felt to be in love when you were about 8 years old? You could like someone and it was possible to feel hurt, but the emotions were not nearly as intense as what you are experiencing now. When you think back at your childhood you will probably feel as if you were in a sort of dream state, kind of detached. That is because you were; children have different patterns of brainwaves and they are emotionally immature. The best way to understand the selfishness and detachment in people with addictions and disorders is to think back on how it felt like to be a child.

If he would have felt love the way you do, things would not have turned out the way they did, right? People like him will always make sure to avoid experiencing real intimacy with a person they could have a strong connection with. They will ruin their chances. If they end up with someone long term and things are rather stable it´s because they choose the person for practical reasons, they are not intensely affected by the person on a deep level. They are not brave enough to go through what you are going through now. Being addicted to alcohol or drugs is so much less painful than being addicted to a partner since you can never control the way a person behaves and what the person feels for you. You do have control over bottles of beers, you drink them when you want to and they won´t run away or break your heart.

We will never ever know the 100 % truth about what other people feel for us. You do not know the entire truth about what you feel for him either, you only know that you are addicted and obsessed. Either you need to simply accept that you will never know the exact truth about what is going on within others since we all carry an entire universe within us and the subconscious part of us is huge and our capacity to create false illusions is also huge. Or you need to believe in something like reincarnation, soul family connections or whatever and seek comfort in the belief that he does love you immensely at a soul level. I read somewhere that the souls who choose to hurt us the most in our life´s are the ones who love us the most. It will cause them a lot of pain at a deep level to hurt us like that, but they do it because they love us so much that they want to help us evolve. I also read somewhere that it takes love to let go of love. I did feel a pure (Neptunian) unconditional love when I finally released my obsession. I felt that I accepted him as he is and I had no need for him to be a certain way or feel a certain way. I just wished him the best on his life path.

The need to know what other people feel is very plutonic and the desire to control what other people feel for us creates manipulative behaviors and mind games instead of authenticity and the capacity to express the truth about who you are. I tried about 20 different methods to get my greatest obsession to like me and I tried to heal and become stronger so that he would find me worthy of his love and respect. It took me three years to let go of him because I was obsessed by trying to find out the truth about what he felt about me by using various methods. I could ask that question up to 20 times in one day. When I grew past him, I saw an empty, boring and unattractive man and I feel zero desire to be with him. I remember that I dreamt that he was a vampire. He sucked my blood in order to be more confident so that he would be brave enough to go after the aggressive types of women he is attracted to. I believe that the dream showed me the truth. He desired women who were destructive towards him just the way I desired men who would be destructive towards me. I have never heard of a person that has felt immense love for someone who has zero boundaries towards them and who is willing to give up their self respect. It is not attractive to anyone but disordered people can use people like that to get ego kicks or live out destructiveness. Knowing this is what made me take the first steps towards being strong in myself and having healthy boundaries. In the beginning I did it because I wanted to be strong enough to look attractive to the guy I was obsessed with. Then when I had recovered my strenght I had zero interest in him.

Trying to understand what your ex feels for you is like being an alcoholic who thinks that he can drink two beers a day without feeding the cravings for alcohol :w00t:

Like I said, each time that you think about him you need to stop the thoughts. You say that you cannot stop the feelings and that is true. So you need to drop down into the sensations within your body and feel them without repeating stories in your head and thinking about him since those thoughts will keep feeding the dramatic emotions. The emotions need some space from your thoughts so that they can be processed naturally. Simply feel the emptiness and sadness and everything that is there. Once you get skilled at this method, you will be forever transformed since you will discover that your feelings are yours to begin with and that makes you feel more whole and in charge over yourself.
 
Last edited:

Neptunian Rainbow

Well-known member
I feel like an insane person for writing such long posts. I probably break all the records on this forum when it comes to the length of my posts :unsure:

But I feel like I have to mention a few more things.

You have several Saturn aspects in your natal chart and my theory is that you are the kind of person with high demands on yourself and inner pressures. Some women may be drawn to masochism because they feel that they are somehow burdened by responsibilities at for example their job and they want to let it all go through sex. A man who feels deeply powerless and as if he lacks control may be drawn to a masochist, he feels more powerful when he has power over her. Obviously it goes the other way around as well, this is not gender based. Venus quincunx Neptune can make you sacrifice yourself and not see him clearly. Venus Pluto also has a part of this power issue.

We always give our power away for a reason. We can give the power over our self-value to someone because we hope that they will give us the love that we don´t feel for ourselves. We can choose to be controlled by someone so that we will have an excuse to not have to create ourselves a life. Abused and controlled victims cannot do anything. We can feel that we want someone else to be in charge because it is very difficult to go through the process of becoming mature and an adult and be in charge over our lives. This world is really difficult.

We will always be able to find some reason to why we gave our power away. If you would use that questioning mind of yours to ask yourself questions about you and your feelings instead of wondering about how he is feeling you would discover many things.

You have a very intense chart with two grand crosses (if I am right, I am not an experienced astrologer). You need to balance them and not be too extreme and tip onto one side of the scale of your oppositions. You have your Sun, Moon, Mercury and NN on the MC. If I understand things correctly, transit NN is closing in on those planets and angles so I believe that you have exciting times ahead of you.

Your chart is extraordinary! You need to find an outlet for your inner intensity and something to focus on, you have the capacity to be very disciplined/focused on something. Steve Job has a grand cross. Do you enjoy sports? Martial arts? Dancing? Do you know what kind of job you desire to have in the future? Perhaps you want to stand in the spotlight somehow or be a leader or someone prominent. If you want to help people you could perhaps help addicts or codependents since you have experience in that area.
 

Neptunian Rainbow

Well-known member
Hey, girl! How's it going my Neptunian Rainbow friend? Hope you've been well. :kissing:

Hi,

I have several transits from Pluto and Saturn. But what does not kill you makes you stronger and 2018 will be amazing :cool:

Hope you are doing well Sadge and that you are experiencing an amazing synastry connection with someone :love:
 
Last edited:

Joytotheworld

Active member
"I'm foolish now but I have questions in my mind who don't give me rest. I'm dying to know what are his feelings towards me. This question I want to be seen astrologically in the charts. I don't care what will be the answer , whatever it is , after I get good reply , I will be glad and calm. Thank you very very much for your advice . I will use it"




Are you sure that you want to know how he feels about you? :bandit:


He doesn't care about you one bit. His elevated Mercury in Aquarius, tightly opposes your Personal Leo stuff---Sun/Moon/N Node. He couldn't care less about you or your feelings or your future.

In fact, he got a kick out of hurting you whenever possible. But out of sight, out of mind. You mean NOTHING to him.

You say that 'thoughts about him' keep you up all night. That is YOUR fault, your problem. You are purposely allowing yourself to wallow in those painful memories.

You need to get some help with that. Something in your childhood set this up, that you feel you DESERVE to be treated as if you were worthless and awful.:unsure:

Use this horrible corpse of a relationship to help yourself ----only you can make the necessary changes to stop this cycle of abuse now. :pouty:


What is an elevated mercury in aquarius? How do you tell if someone has an ElEVATED mercury in Aquarius? Is that what is making him not care about her one bit?
 

D-Rok

Well-known member
I wouldn't worry about him. You have plenty of years ahead of you.

Additionally looking at your chart you have a malefic cadent lord of the 7th in fall. Try to consider that you might have some less-than-admirable people that might cause problems for you in relationships and just cast them aside. You've got better things to do than worry about some chumps.
 

leo468

Well-known member
I wouldn't worry about him. You have plenty of years ahead of you.

Additionally looking at your chart you have a malefic cadent lord of the 7th in fall. Try to consider that you might have some less-than-admirable people that might cause problems for you in relationships and just cast them aside. You've got better things to do than worry about some chumps.

You are right. Thanks for the advice, I'm trying to move on
 
Top