Prettypower
Member
I just would like some chart feedback or some explanation on my way of interpreting this. You see, I am a pretty unemotional cold person. I am one of those proud Capricorn moons who think feelings are messy and will roadblock success. It takes A LOT for me to be emotional (I also don't have sense of humor but that's another story). My attitude in general, is put “your big girl panties on and get through whatever life throws your way”. It sounds harsh and it is, but it’s me. When hard times are about, I am a good person to have around because I keep cool, calm and collected. I’m not one to shy away from hard work and typically when I have a goal in mind, I achieve it whatever it takes. I don’t exactly fail well.
I appreciate my Cap Moon/Venus because in the end, it has gotten me through very difficult times, a chaotic childhood, parent abandonment, bankruptcy, etc. I also feel that it is the reason for my success in general, because I am such a driven person.
Except… there is one area where I just cry talking about it. My chart is not exactly the poster of fertility. My husband and I have been trying to have children now for almost 5 years unsuccessfully. For some reason, on this particular topic, I can’t just get myself together and move past it. I have cried more on this than I have anything else ever, and the pain is just unbearable. It was even at the point where I thought I was going into a depression because of it, but thankfully I snapped myself out of it. As time goes by, I am getting better but I just can’t seem to accept the fact that we won’t have children.
To the point where, we are in the hands of fertility doctors right now and I delay doing the treatment because we can only afford to do one and my fear is that if unsuccessful, then I will need to accept it’s over and I don’t want to accept defeat.
So my question is, am I unable to control my emotions on this subject because of my afflicted 5th house? Could it be karmic in nature perhaps? I just don't understand why I can't just swallow that pill.
I appreciate my Cap Moon/Venus because in the end, it has gotten me through very difficult times, a chaotic childhood, parent abandonment, bankruptcy, etc. I also feel that it is the reason for my success in general, because I am such a driven person.
Except… there is one area where I just cry talking about it. My chart is not exactly the poster of fertility. My husband and I have been trying to have children now for almost 5 years unsuccessfully. For some reason, on this particular topic, I can’t just get myself together and move past it. I have cried more on this than I have anything else ever, and the pain is just unbearable. It was even at the point where I thought I was going into a depression because of it, but thankfully I snapped myself out of it. As time goes by, I am getting better but I just can’t seem to accept the fact that we won’t have children.
To the point where, we are in the hands of fertility doctors right now and I delay doing the treatment because we can only afford to do one and my fear is that if unsuccessful, then I will need to accept it’s over and I don’t want to accept defeat.
So my question is, am I unable to control my emotions on this subject because of my afflicted 5th house? Could it be karmic in nature perhaps? I just don't understand why I can't just swallow that pill.