Is Saturn allowing me to be free now?

So went to ring my Dad to wish merry Christmas to him and my mum and also my bro but more so to check on every one.
First thing i am told is that i have ruined my fathers Christmas and that i am no longer welcome home no more for not calling and letting my dad know where i am and what i am doing even though i told him before leaving 2 months back.
I just said ok and put phone down.
Fire built up mega fast inside.. Truly feeling it but i held it down, told my Leo then her mum says what a nasty man and Leo gave some emotional support.

Walked to bedroom for a breather. Needed to let that stab to my heart cool down. Cried a tiny bit then went back into kitchen helping with Christmas dinner.

Thoughts of murdering my father went through my head as i did what was needed and the amazing feeling of crushing a weaker enemy than always fighting larger things.
Like a sore that never goes away, the enjoyment of dealing the 27 years of suffering and pent up anger that he drilled into me, but on top he can have the pain of death that i felt, the crushing of his light & breath.
Watch him squirm as he loses his will to fight for his life, drown in his own urine in the vile mess and stink that he is as he fights what he cannot but submit to the karma he has amassed. Try to stop me you will only be an object in my way.

But then i have my duty, i will destroy my father by not being him, i could end him instantly but why stoop to his level?
Why give up everything i amassed? Who the phuck has control over me? I DO.
I'm free.

Phuck my family i don't need them and never have. My father has swallowed what was left of it, it shall flush down with him and i will bring forth a new line.

Saturn has opposed my Sun & Jupiter, squares Mars but Trines Moon and conjuncts Neptune.

I needed this post, i don't need an emotional outburst IRL i have all i need now to pave my own way.

May i ask?

What creates a man that cannot stand up for his own creation?

What creates a man with no balls whatsoever to stand up for anything?

Yet the family behind this man loves him, does not and never has abused him?

But freely blow around with whatever tid bit and info he finds feeding off it, adding it to his bank of ammunition all to provide onlookers and those who don't know any better a front of a man. Not even that, a hollow man who is just nothing. On top will use this as a means to manipulate and throw at you.

Used his womans heart, my mothers heart, her goodness, her duty as a mother under severe pressure, the weight of my father pushing her down. Never once stood by her or held her when needed, abused her emotions, ate all of her goodness she had.

He cannot unleash what he wanted to onto her physically for fear of being found out so it was bounced onto us children physically, emotionally and mentally.

Instead he tore her mind down until the day she fell truly 7 years a go to a stroke & was left disabled, guess who signed to care? My father, he cannot and will not break the front of being her man whilst in reality being the opposite. When i returned and confronted him with a gentle heart after leaving the Army and 6 years in foster care willing to let go & help shape a family from war torn rags.

Instead the abuse my mother became accustomed to was shown.

On leave from the Army i tidied their house, i physically and motivationally tried to show love for my parents. Mum was delighted, father used it. Lazy, not once worked in his life, manipulated and schemed and abused for personal wants and power.
Gambled benefit money and drank with friends as mum struggled with 4 children, slammed her verbally on her appearance, her physical body, herself. Tore her limb from limb mentally. Watched her emotionally break down in tears with absolutely no remorse.

This thing that he is in reality is a narcissist, many exist.

I myself have hidden my true self from my father for years and he has slowly rotted away, he cannot break me down, he crumbles under me.

My true self and the mask i have worn are very different.

Any attempt at my true self with him is eaten alive but i know him inside out.

I am so sorry CancerEvolve....I know how important your family has been to you in recent years...even though they are a dysfunctional bunch, you tried hard to create a stable unit out of them.


Your father does not deserve the love and loyalty you have offered him.

Also, Saturn opposes your Sun/Jupiter. He tries to block your good natured, good hearted optimistic actions and nature.

He does not want you to be a better man than he is. Too late for that. You already are.

Look toward Saturn and Jupiter. Tough opposition, I have it as well, but unlike my opposition, your chart is diurnal. Long wall of text avoided: Saturn and Jupiter are your teammates, Mars and Venus play for the other guy.

Naturally it's more complex than that so I'd suggest looking into it. But all in all, this transit will be (mostly) beneficial.

Live your life sun-brother and look toward the year with discipline and a smile. Don't look back though