Chart Reading request for relationship dilemma

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laurelin

Active member
I'm brand new today and I'm very impressed with the chart readings done here so I thought I'd ask for some assistance with my own.
Some background: Several months ago, I met a man with whom I instantly fell in love. Having been married before, I thought I knew what love was…but he changed all of that for me. Within 48 hours of meeting, he was sure he was going to marry me. Our romance lasted only 5 months. I have been to two psychics, both of whom said that the reason he drifted away was that he was overwhelmed and unable to fully love and be loved.
Since then, I have met someone new. This man is fully dedicated to our relationship. He is a good, decent, wonderful man and I love him. My relationship with him is so much easier and healthier. We have fun together, we can talk about anything and everything, we fully enjoy one another’s company and our personalities blend seamlessly with one another. The problem? My love for him is not the same. Every time I start thinking about the future, I reflect on the love I had for the man in that prior relationship and I get scared because my love for this new man doesn’t feel as special or as powerful. I almost feel bound to that earlier relationship and I don’t know why. I feel as if I need to let it go and move forward with this current relationship. I can’t imagine I’d be settling for this new man because our relationship has been strong from the beginning, but I'm afraid I'll always wonder about the other and why it was so much different.
So, my question is this: is there anything in my chart that might help me with this dilemma? Is there a reason I can’t let go of this earlier relationship?
Please see my chart attached…
 

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Vista

Vista

Well-known member
Hello,

You have a couple fundamental issues that cause problems in your relationships. The ruler of your 7th house of relationships/marriage is Venus which is square Uranus. What's more, Uranus is in your 1st house conjunct your ASC and opposing your DESC. Both of these aspects point to unpredictability and instability in your relationships with relationships that get going very quickly and end just as quickly. The one saving grace you have is Venus conjunct Saturn which brings a little more stability however it can make you hang onto a relationship that is beyond saving. The other issue you have is liking what is not available to you. It could be someone who lives far away, who is in another relationship, or simply they are not as interested in you as you are with them. This can go either way in that you are the one not as interested in the guy. All in all, you will find yourself in relationships that are not fulfilling, that is, the men you are crazy about will not fill all your wants or needs or something will happen that causes the relationship to end abruptly and out of the blue leaving you scratching your head as to what happened. Or, you will be in relationships with men you are not into so again, you are not getting your needs met.

The best way to work with this energy is to develop a solid friendship first and don't get into a relationship too quickly.


laurelin said:
I'm brand new today and I'm very impressed with the chart readings done here so I thought I'd ask for some assistance with my own.
Some background: Several months ago, I met a man with whom I instantly fell in love. Having been married before, I thought I knew what love was…but he changed all of that for me. Within 48 hours of meeting, he was sure he was going to marry me. Our romance lasted only 5 months. I have been to two psychics, both of whom said that the reason he drifted away was that he was overwhelmed and unable to fully love and be loved.
Since then, I have met someone new. This man is fully dedicated to our relationship. He is a good, decent, wonderful man and I love him. My relationship with him is so much easier and healthier. We have fun together, we can talk about anything and everything, we fully enjoy one another’s company and our personalities blend seamlessly with one another. The problem? My love for him is not the same. Every time I start thinking about the future, I reflect on the love I had for the man in that prior relationship and I get scared because my love for this new man doesn’t feel as special or as powerful. I almost feel bound to that earlier relationship and I don’t know why. I feel as if I need to let it go and move forward with this current relationship. I can’t imagine I’d be settling for this new man because our relationship has been strong from the beginning, but I'm afraid I'll always wonder about the other and why it was so much different.
So, my question is this: is there anything in my chart that might help me with this dilemma? Is there a reason I can’t let go of this earlier relationship?
Please see my chart attached…
Click to expand...
 
R

rahu

Banned
hi tess
your chart makes an easy answer quite speculative.
But first off you have Pluto conjunct to the dragon’s tail.

Here are some general comments on this aspect
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=63539&page=2
“Pluto with the nodal axis (and orcus to a similar degree), on the psychological plane gives great selfishness. but it is also an aspect of a “survivor”, an individual who will employ any means necessary to survive. But the selfishness so colors the personality that usually this placement ends up causing the native to “shoot” themselves in the foot.

This placement also shows that past life influences are directly affecting the native. This gives great power to an enlightened native as past lives can give ability and insights far broader than could be gained from a single lifetime of experiences .it gives healing powers but most often the natïve faces sudden and major disease that force the healing energies to manifest . with sextiles to Neptune strong psychic healing powers are present. in the unenlightened, it gives malicious joy in death and brutality . the psychic power is strong and the native spontaneously travels on the astral. But if they have a crude personality, they only cause themselves problems because the can gain enemies because of their selfishness presence in other’s dreams. Often this placement gives prophetic dreams but usually involving the occurrence of death ..
Probably no other nodal conjunction has so much promise for good or such a potential for evil.
This is because the desire body spontaneously travels on the astral and base desires try to influence others. This is usually an unconsciously experience but the affects can never the less bring repercussions in to reality
The sexual nature is very strong but the capacity for love is often absent in the unenlightened. Usually love can only manifest in its higher form as a love of god or of humanity in a general sense as the carnal passions are difficult to control on the personal level, as this placemen is prone to domineering and controlling, abusive emotional interactions.”

Your chart in addition shows the node/Pluto conjunction sextile to the exact venus/moon conjunction and sextile to Neptune, with the moon/Neptune and venus/Neptune midpoints conjunct the Pluto/node conjunction. With the pluto/node conjunction in the 12th house, your premonitions are very strong. influences from past lives are integral parts of your psychic/psychological makeup. The midpoints add to the psychic abilities of this position.
It seems that your “problem” is that you do not realize you are part of a higher life vibration. likely the man you cannot forget had a major part in another life time and hence the unusual intensity of the attraction .
You have a exceptional emotional and sexual nature, now and in the past. Eris is conjunct the dragon’s head giving an insatiable libido at times. pluto by itself can be extremely sexual, but neither of these symbols are conducive to emotionally stable relationships because the carnal instincts predominate emotional intimacy.i.e. Intimate feeling hare difficult to develop because the desires are so focused on the body’s feelings .but with venus conjunct to the moon, you are a spontaneously loving person.and with the eros/psychic midpoint square to venus/moon you are also unimaginably romantic and idealistic.
· This can create the confusing relationship scenarios as you have a extremely sexual carnal presence, one that can become obessed with their own sensations, yet at the same time you have such a delicate and idealistic need for love that you cannot understand when your love is not reciprocated in the way you feel it.
And with this conjunction at MC, you have many friends who love you because of your grace and your determinations as mars is conjunct to Jupiter. This aspect is excellent for all educational and financial endeavors. this conjunction sextile to the sedna conjunction to Chiron, you are a born problem solver. You are extremely efficient and fair in all your actions. you act with the highest morals and demand others to act likewise. You have a critical air about you but your criticisms are always correct and you are quick to admit to your own short comings, though you don’t have any grievous personality problem because you are constant evaluating your own actions and results.

You sun is square to Neptune and opposed to pholous. This can give creative abilities and it certainly gives your psychic/mediumistic abilities greater strength.
Your juno is square to Saturn which bodes a marriage later in life, but the juno
Jupiter midpoint is conjunct Neptune which shows a man of a different culture or religion would be a likely candidate..with the Neptune sun involved, there are great complexities surrounding marriage and serious relationships. In fact you seem to have a very complicated and concealed family dynamics as well as a need to keep your privacy.
With the Jupiter/orcus and mars/orcus midpoint square to the nodal axis, there is great wealth of social/political standing in your family, as this show power in social or economic manners or both. of course any such advantage will be hidden from others as your need of privacy dictates.
So as to your original question, I would answer that your pluto’s central position gives you a controlling inner personality.pluto does not like to let go even of things that Pluto no longer has.
I understand know why your current partner is not sufficient. You are used to extremely intense emotional and sexual interactions, and without this level ,you are not yourself.
rahu
 

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laurelin

Active member
Vista,
Thank you so much for answering and for your analysis. You are right...my relationships are exactly as you described.

You said the best way to work with this energy is through friendship, first. This is how my current boyfriend and I started. We established a very solid friendship and rapport and were careful to take the relationship further. From what you stated, however, it seems as though the relationship might end anyway due to the instability/lack of met needs. Is this a fair assessment?
 
L

laurelin

Active member
Rahu,
Your post was incredibly insightful...I'm going to need to read it a few more times and ponder it some more before I can fully respond, but I'm particularly intrigued by being part of a "higher vibration". I feel I've been being called to this 'vibration' for a number of months, now.
 
Vista

Vista

Well-known member
You are welcome!

I suspect you and your current boyfriend will have some difficulties in the very near future possibly right now and you may separate however it is only one transit (transiting Saturn is coming back to square your natal Venus moon conjunction) and Venus rules your 7th house. Also, many times when events like break-ups happen under retrograde planets they don't stick so to speak.

Not every relationship will evolve from the friendship you develop however it will take the pressure off of starting one with such intensity where it has more of a chance to end abruptly. Also, maybe dating a couple people as long as possible without getting too serious about one person quickly can be another way to work with it. The main point is not giving your all immediately which is what this natal aspect of Uranus opposing your Desc and Venus square Uranus can cause. More often than not, the guys you really really like are probably not going to be the one's good for you. That's why letting the fungus growers so to speak stick around as friends to see if something evolves. Something tells me if your current boyfriend started blowing you off and acting disinterested, he would become more interesting and exciting to you which would make you like him more. Lol!

Edit: One other thing, traditional relationships really do not appeal to you although you like having someone around. If you think they do, you have not come to terms with your own need for freedom within a relationship and traditional doesn't fit the build. I think having a boyfriend who lived out of town or traveled for a living would be another good way to work with this energy as they would not be available to you all the time therefore you are working with this quirk is a positive way.


laurelin said:
Vista,
Thank you so much for answering and for your analysis. You are right...my relationships are exactly as you described.

You said the best way to work with this energy is through friendship, first. This is how my current boyfriend and I started. We established a very solid friendship and rapport and were careful to take the relationship further. From what you stated, however, it seems as though the relationship might end anyway due to the instability/lack of met needs. Is this a fair assessment?
Click to expand...
 
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R

rahu

Banned
hi ya

there is a major other personality aspect that I did not mention.
you Uranus opposed to chiron on the asc/dsc axis this by itself gives a strong and intense mind and opinions along with psychic sensitivities. the critical attiude you have can be very strong and abrupt at times. this does increase your psychic astral experiences.
you have the insights and visions to manage accumulated cultural possessions.

the selfishness of pluto is unconscious. by your chart you are very sincere, loving and caring. there is likely no evidence that you have ever treated anyone meanly, it is not in your nature.
but as pertains to your question...

pluto holds on to emotional connections/controls . with Pluto conjunct the node, it is important that you consider this angle as your unconscious/past lives connection may be a causal source of emotional uncertainty, as your question reflects.
With Pluto and the node , you have a soul(you) that is radiating destinical vibrations’ in this life. whether you cultural consciousness permits or not, your astral dreams give you moods and musing a direct connection to other’s dreams and spirit.
the pluto
rahu
 
L

laurelin

Active member
Hi Rahu,
Again, thank you so much for your insight about my dilemma. I've got some input and clarifying questions about your original post.

likely the man you cannot forget had a major part in another life time and hence the unusual intensity of the attraction .
Click to expand...

This has been confirmed by the two psychics I consulted a few months ago. Both said there had been numerous past life experiences with each other and that, for some reason, we have yet to be successful...something always ends up splitting us apart.

You have a exceptional emotional and sexual nature, now and in the past. Eris is conjunct the dragon’s head giving an insatiable libido at times. pluto by itself can be extremely sexual, but neither of these symbols are conducive to emotionally stable relationships because the carnal instincts predominate emotional intimacy.i.e. Intimate feeling hare difficult to develop because the desires are so focused on the body’s feelings .but with venus conjunct to the moon, you are a spontaneously loving person.and with the eros/psychic midpoint square to venus/moon you are also unimaginably romantic and idealistic.
Click to expand...

Are you saying that my relationships are dominated by too much physical intimacy and not enough emotional intimacy? And, because I love too easily and I'm romantic and idealistic, I am deceiving myself in thinking these are "real" relationships?

This can create the confusing relationship scenarios as you have a extremely sexual carnal presence, one that can become obsessed with their own sensations, yet at the same time you have such a delicate and idealistic need for love that you cannot understand when your love is not reciprocated in the way you feel it.
Click to expand...
I've never thought of myself as having any kind of "carnal presence"...does the word "sensation", in the statement above, denote physical sensation or something else?
I think, if anything, I fear that my love is not reciprocated in the way I feel it. Whether or not that is ever truly the case (especially regarding this man I can't forget) I'm not sure.

Your juno is square to Saturn which bodes a marriage later in life, but the juno
Jupiter midpoint is conjunct Neptune which shows a man of a different culture or religion would be a likely candidate..with the Neptune sun involved, there are great complexities surrounding marriage and serious relationships. In fact you seem to have a very complicated and concealed family dynamics as well as a need to keep your privacy.
Click to expand...

I was married from the ages of 30 - 35. I'm assuming this was not the "later in life" marriage. Interestingly enough, the man I cannot forget was of a different culture. The man I'm currently dating is of a different religion. :confused:

What do you mean by "family dynamics"? Are you referring to the immediate family from which I came or the possibility of a future family. I do have a condition that precludes children so I'm wondering if that is the "concealed" issue or not.

So as to your original question, I would answer that your pluto’s central position gives you a controlling inner personality.pluto does not like to let go even of things that Pluto no longer has.
I understand know why your current partner is not sufficient. You are used to extremely intense emotional and sexual interactions, and without this level ,you are not yourself.
Click to expand...
I agree with the controlling inner personality and I understand that Pluto can affect one's ability to let go and I've certainly experienced this before. It has been my experience, in every other relationship I've had, that any residual attachment simply goes away when a new relationship begins, such that I don't even really remember how it felt to love another. The difference, this time, is that this new relationship doesn't seem to have allowed me to let go of the old one, despite the fact that this new man fulfills every single one of my needs and expectations in a relationship.
I've been told the South Node conjunctions can indicate past life connections. My current boyfriend and I have no South Node conjunctions and 2 North Node conjunctions (Mercury & Pluto). My previous boyfriend and I had 1 South Node conjunction (Chiron) and 3 North Node conjunctions (Mars, Jupiter, Uranus). I'm not sure if this is relevant (or how) or allowed at this time, but I thought I'd pass it along and see what take, if any, you might have on it.
 
R

rahu

Banned
laurelin said:
Hi Rahu,
Again, thank you so much for your insight about my dilemma. I've got some input and clarifying questions about your original post.



This has been confirmed by the two psychics I consulted a few months ago. Both said there had been numerous past life experiences with each other and that, for some reason, we have yet to be successful...something always ends up splitting us apart.



Are you saying that my relationships are dominated by too much physical intimacy and not enough emotional intimacy? And, because I love too easily and I'm romantic and idealistic, I am deceiving myself in thinking these are "real" relationships?


I've never thought of myself as having any kind of "carnal presence"...does the word "sensation", in the statement above, denote physical sensation or something else?
I think, if anything, I fear that my love is not reciprocated in the way I feel it. Whether or not that is ever truly the case (especially regarding this man I can't forget) I'm not sure.



I was married from the ages of 30 - 35. I'm assuming this was not the "later in life" marriage. Interestingly enough, the man I cannot forget was of a different culture. The man I'm currently dating is of a different religion. :confused:

What do you mean by "family dynamics"? Are you referring to the immediate family from which I came or the possibility of a future family. I do have a condition that precludes children so I'm wondering if that is the "concealed" issue or not.


I agree with the controlling inner personality and I understand that Pluto can affect one's ability to let go and I've certainly experienced this before. It has been my experience, in every other relationship I've had, that any residual attachment simply goes away when a new relationship begins, such that I don't even really remember how it felt to love another. The difference, this time, is that this new relationship doesn't seem to have allowed me to let go of the old one, despite the fact that this new man fulfills every single one of my needs and expectations in a relationship.
I've been told the South Node conjunctions can indicate past life connections. My current boyfriend and I have no South Node conjunctions and 2 North Node conjunctions (Mercury & Pluto). My previous boyfriend and I had 1 South Node conjunction (Chiron) and 3 North Node conjunctions (Mars, Jupiter, Uranus). I'm not sure if this is relevant (or how) or allowed at this time, but I thought I'd pass it along and see what take, if any, you might have on it.
Click to expand...

"Are you saying that my relationships are dominated by too much physical intimacy and not enough emotional intimacy? And, because I love too easily and I'm romantic and idealistic, I am deceiving myself in thinking these are "real" relationships? "

i'm not sure I mean dominated but I must admit I can't remember when I saw such a carnal sexual energy and such a romantic and loving nature in the same chart. I don't think there is deception of yourself but rather confusion possibly. you truly are a giving and loving being, yet your energies include pluto /SN opposed to eris /Nn. this is exceptionally carnal and physical.
Your nodes central position suggest that there may be depth psychology dynamics. The orcus/Pluto midpoint is conjunct to mercury. This is often a sign of repressed or blocked memories. The Saturn/sun midpoint is conjunct to the sun, which suggests a abusive childhood. The orcus/Chiron midpoint is square to the sun. these aspects are all indicative of a emotional and possibly sexually abusive childhood, mercury’s aspect show any such behaviors likely are blocked from your memory. But I believe that you will not go along with this idea because your mercury is sextile to Uranus ,which gives great intelligence as well as a pristine memory. So just as you loving nature can not readily accept a selfish streak,your intelligent and memory are likely not to go along with the concept that you have repressed memories of abusive conditions. but these symbols and especially Pluto and eris with the nodal axis are primary indices of abuse in a chart .the eris/Saturn midpoint is square your sun,again a indice of a abuse environment. If you have any periods of your life that you have no memory of, this period would be the one to contain experiences that are repressed. The node is your physical/spiritual/mental psychic energy source, in addition to all the other attributes that are written about the node. With Pluto and eris conjunct the nodal axis, you have radiated a highly erotic sexually from birth.often abuse occurs to a person such as you because the sexual energies are picked up by everyone around you even as a child. It is possible that you have not memories of such experiences because these might have occurred at a very early age, before your consciousness was self conscious. Hence likely to never be recovered.


“I've never thought of myself as having any kind of "carnal presence"...does the word "sensation", in the statement above, denote physical sensation or something else?
I think, if anything, I fear that my love is not reciprocated in the way I feel it. Whether or not that is ever truly the case (especially regarding this man I can't forget) I'm not sure.”

This comment leads to what I have said because ,“I've never thought of myself as having any kind of "carnal presence"...
Yet your chart is extremely carnal. So my question would be why you don’t acknowledge this side of your personality? My answer would be that pure carnal desires were directed toward you as a child and hence you don’t acknowledge these energies because of the painful conditions that accompanies these passions.

“What do you mean by "family dynamics"? Are you referring to the immediate family from which I came or the possibility of a future family. I do have a condition that precludes children so I'm wondering if that is the "concealed" issue or not.”

This could be the hidden issue,but frankly I don’t have a clear idea of what these family issues would be, I can only see the Neptune is concealing and complicating interfamily relationships. this aspect could also cast doubts on your blood lineage, but again , this could be indicated but is by no means certain.

“I've been told the South Node conjunctions can indicate past life connections. My current boyfriend and I have no South Node conjunctions and 2 North Node conjunctions (Mercury & Pluto). My previous boyfriend and I had 1 South Node conjunction (Chiron) and 3 North Node conjunctions (Mars, Jupiter, Uranus). I'm not sure if this is relevant (or how) or allowed at this time, but I thought I'd pass it along and see what take, if any, you might have on it”

Any connection with the nodal axis, not just the south node, can show a past life connection.
I rely on composite much more than synastric comparisons because synastry posits how you affect each other as individuals while composite charts show how you relate together.
Synastry describes how your vibrations reflect or affect each other while a composite shows the nature of the vibrations created by a relationship.

But given the aspects you have, I would surmise that the current relationship with the mercury/Pluto/ node conjunction describes the mentally stimulating though subdued nature of the relationship as you have described it. The previous relationship with the mars/Jupiter/Uranus conjunction to the node is much more mental/psychic/emotional/experientially stimulating.

If you have any more uncertainties or need clarification ,I will be glad to respond.it is quite enjoyable to learn more exactly what my words mean when someone such as yourself can give clear and pertinent feedback
.thank you
rahu
 
L

laurelin

Active member
Vista,
Thank you, again, for your reply!

I suspect you and your current boyfriend will have some difficulties in the very near future possibly right now and you may separate however it is only one transit (transiting Saturn is coming back to square your natal Venus moon conjunction) and Venus rules your 7th house
Click to expand...

When you wrote that, we had just had a couple days of difficulties, but we worked through them and had a great weekend together. Our families even met one another. :)

traditional relationships really do not appeal to you although you like having someone around.
Click to expand...

Interesting...I do like to have someone around and I've always been very dedicated and loyal in my relationships. But, I suppose the meaning of "traditional" is key, here. Perhaps my idea of traditional is not traditional!

If you think they do, you have not come to terms with your own need for freedom within a relationship and traditional doesn't fit the build. I think having a boyfriend who lived out of town or traveled for a living would be another good way to work with this energy as they would not be available to you all the time therefore you are working with this quirk is a positive way.
Click to expand...
Again, funny, because my boyfriend DOES live out of town (a little over an hour away) and he shares custody of his daughter so we only have certain days and times when we can see one another. Thus, we do have a lot of independence!
 
1

12thhouse

Active member
https://www.thesecretlanguage.com/check/relationship/

The secret language of relationships might be a helpful tool for you. I once was in a relationship where I had felt like I would never love someone the same. Through astrology I came to realize that with the combination was addictive and stormy. Which is exactly how I would describe it. After learning more about myself I realized it wasn't so much about the intense passion, more about the loving of one another's soul. Here is the link if you would like to ever compare birthdays and get insight into how your relationship might be. It isn't going to tell you if it will work or if it wont but it will give you some information about how the relationship could go.
 
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