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  #51  
Unread 03-25-2017, 05:32 PM
CancerEvolve CancerEvolve is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

Can i just say that i do not understand the hostility towards Venus?

I think certain peeps have gone way too far, i may not agree because i'm totally different, but i admire the difference, would be boring being the same.

I'm a Uranus in 11th BTW with aspects to moon and mars so i have good Aqua influences

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  #52  
Unread 03-25-2017, 05:33 PM
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

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Originally Posted by ChildOfVenus View Post
You know nothing about what's in my heart lol.
Unfamiliar with sayings too? How surprising.
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  #53  
Unread 03-25-2017, 05:34 PM
Jadi Jadi is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

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Originally Posted by CancerEvolve View Post
Can i just say that i do not understand the hostility towards Venus?

I think certain peeps have gone way too far, i may not agree because i'm totally different, but i admire the difference, would be boring being the same.

I'm a Uranus in 11th BTW with aspects to moon and mars so i have good Aqua influences
Well this is the last time you see me posting anyways, the mods will drop the banhammer on my head, mark my words.
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  #54  
Unread 03-25-2017, 05:35 PM
ChildOfVenus ChildOfVenus is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

Well I would have to care about the person to have sex with them. Like I wouldn't go out just looking for someone to sleep with. Honestly I am picky about who I get involved with sexually. I'm saying that I wouldn't have to be in a serious relationship with the person. But I would like to remain friends with the person at least.
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Originally Posted by AppLeo View Post
Or it's a fun activity that people do when they hook up at a bar. It's all based on personal preference.
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  #55  
Unread 03-25-2017, 05:36 PM
CancerEvolve CancerEvolve is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

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Originally Posted by Jadi View Post
Well this is the last time you see me posting anyways, the mods will drop the banhammer on my head, mark my words.
I can see something pissed you off, but make it right and i'm sure the mods may give you the benefit of the doubt?

Perhaps it's best to take a step back and a deep breath sometimes, and not let emotion come in the way.

I'm not belittling you, i don't know you or the other guys besides some talk with AppLeo in the past.
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  #56  
Unread 03-25-2017, 05:38 PM
ChildOfVenus ChildOfVenus is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

It's ok I'm use to the hostility It comes with the territory of being different lol. I don't know why people bother to comment if what I say makes them upset or pisses them off in some way. I'm not sure where me being desperate for sex comes from though? I'm not at all desperate for sex maybe I'm missing something.
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Originally Posted by CancerEvolve View Post
Can i just say that i do not understand the hostility towards Venus?

I think certain peeps have gone way too far, i may not agree because i'm totally different, but i admire the difference, would be boring being the same.

I'm a Uranus in 11th BTW with aspects to moon and mars so i have good Aqua influences

Last edited by ChildOfVenus; 03-25-2017 at 05:41 PM.
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  #57  
Unread 03-26-2017, 12:27 PM
Tla26 Tla26 is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

No. It's selfish. If you're going to have a child with someone, make sure you love them. Otherwise, the child will sense that and internalize it. They'll grow up with issues.

If you want to be a single parent, ADOPT. So many children need a home.
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  #58  
Unread 03-26-2017, 05:46 PM
ChildOfVenus ChildOfVenus is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

I understand I'm just worried about being alone and not having anyone to take care of me when I'm older because I don't want to be married.
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No. It's selfish. If you're going to have a child with someone, make sure you love them. Otherwise, the child will sense that and internalize it. They'll grow up with issues.

If you want to be a single parent, ADOPT. So many children need a home.
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  #59  
Unread 03-26-2017, 06:23 PM
Tla26 Tla26 is offline
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Originally Posted by ChildOfVenus View Post
I understand I'm just worried about being alone and not having anyone to take care of me when I'm older because I don't want to be married.
I'm sorry about that worry. I understand how scary that thought is. But I still have to be honest with you that it doesn't justify having a child. It's expecting that child to do something for you. The child will grow up feeling the pressure. Is it fair? How would you feel if you'd been conceived because your parent(s) wanted someone to take care of them when they were old?
And there's no guarantee the child will take care of you. I honestly can't name anyone I know, save one person, who is actually caring for their elderly parents. And the toll it had taken on that person is horrific.
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  #60  
Unread 03-26-2017, 06:30 PM
ChildOfVenus ChildOfVenus is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

I understand what you mean this is just something that my parents are worried about. They don't want me to end up being alone.
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I'm sorry about that worry. I understand how scary that thought is. But I still have to be honest with you that it doesn't justify having a child. It's expecting that child to do something for you. The child will grow up feeling the pressure. Is it fair? How would you feel if you'd been conceived because your parent(s) wanted someone to take care of them when they were old?
And there's no guarantee the child will take care of you. I honestly can't name anyone I know, save one person, who is actually caring for their elderly parents. And the toll it had taken on that person is horrific.
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  #61  
Unread 03-26-2017, 07:29 PM
Tla26 Tla26 is offline
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Originally Posted by ChildOfVenus View Post
I understand what you mean this is just something that my parents are worried about. They don't want me to end up being alone.
There's nothing wrong with being alone. It's better to be alone than with someone you have a half assed connection to. Your parents are from a different generation, one where it sounds like they had to base all life choices on survival, and therefore, they cannot understand the lifestyle of someone younger. It sounds like it's making you feel kind of depressed. They shouldn't be sending you into panic mode.
It just isn't fair to anyone involved to have children with an agenda. The only reason to have them is because you e found someone whom you absolutely adore and create them out of pure love.
Only have children because of what you can give to them. Not what you expect them to do for you. This is unconditional love. All children deserve it.
I would suggest you read some psychology books about parenting. This is a good article: http://gettinbetter.com/BPDparent.html
I realize it's very blunt but it's very significant. The circumstances you're describing for bringing a child into the world are unhealthy. The statistics are very high that a child created under such circumstance will develop a personality disorder.
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  #62  
Unread 03-26-2017, 07:37 PM
CancerEvolve CancerEvolve is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

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Originally Posted by Tla26 View Post
There's nothing wrong with being alone. It's better to be alone than with someone you have a half assed connection to. Your parents are from a different generation, one where it sounds like they had to base all life choices on survival, and therefore, they cannot understand the lifestyle of someone younger. It sounds like it's making you feel kind of depressed. They shouldn't be sending you into panic mode.
It just isn't fair to anyone involved to have children with an agenda. The only reason to have them is because you e found someone whom you absolutely adore and create them out of pure love.
Only have children because of what you can give to them. Not what you expect them to do for you. This is unconditional love. All children deserve it.
I would suggest you read some psychology books about parenting. This is a good article: http://gettinbetter.com/BPDparent.html
I realize it's very blunt but it's very significant. The circumstances you're describing for bringing a child into the world are unhealthy. The statistics are very high that a child created under such circumstance will develop a personality disorder.
This, it's superficial, and love is anything but.

I wait until i know i can bond with someone.. highly intuitive.

People need to be themselves.
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  #63  
Unread 03-26-2017, 07:38 PM
ChildOfVenus ChildOfVenus is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

Well being as though I have Uranus on the 5th house cusps. It seems that if I were to have any children they would probably have some kind of mental issues or be weird in someway. So perhaps the living arrangement wouldn't affect them.
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  #64  
Unread 03-26-2017, 07:42 PM
Tla26 Tla26 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChildOfVenus View Post
Well being as though I have Uranus on the 5th house cusps. It seems that if I were to have any children they would probably have some kind of mental issues or be weird in someway. So perhaps the living arrangement wouldn't affect them.
The living arrangement would create mental health issues.
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  #65  
Unread 03-26-2017, 08:00 PM
ChildOfVenus ChildOfVenus is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

And you know this for a fact? Well what about when people adopt? Is there a difference really?
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The living arrangement would create mental health issues.
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  #66  
Unread 03-26-2017, 08:05 PM
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

In most western/developed countries, the biological father would have legally required, mandatory child support responsibilities. These financial obligations would last until the child was of a legal age to be self-supporting. If the man wasn't aware the woman wanted to become pregnant, this would be a huge deception on her part. Because he's not just a sperm donor, but a source of financial commitment.

And what about the child? Little kids want and need close, loving relationships with their daddies.
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Last edited by waybread; 03-26-2017 at 08:12 PM.
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  #67  
Unread 03-26-2017, 08:08 PM
ChildOfVenus ChildOfVenus is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

Yes he would only be responsible for child support if the woman decided to file or if she was getting government assistance. Why do sperm banks and adoption agency exists? If a woman decides to go to a sperm bank does she have communication with the child's father? What would she tell the child when he or she grows up in this kind of situation?
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In most western/developed countries, the biological father would have legally required, mandatory child support responsibilities. If he wasn't aware the woman wanted to become pregnant, this would be a huge deception on her part.

And what about the child? Little kids want and need close, loving relationships with their daddies.
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  #68  
Unread 03-26-2017, 08:16 PM
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

Child of Venus, sperm bank situations are entirely different. These agencies have legal back up up the yin-yang. Any unattached woman who is not financially able to support a child on her own really needs to think of why she wants a child and how well she can support it. Unfortunately, love is not enough to raise a child.

What happens if she tells her temporary lover what she's about, but then goes after him for support later after she's changed her mind?

Single mothers tell the child whatever they think appropriate. This is not my point.

My point is that children want to be raised and loved by their daddies. Why would you voluntarily deprive your child of this vital relationship just to satisfy your own desires?
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My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. Jack Layton, "Letter to Canadians"

I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Message on a refrigerator magnet.
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  #69  
Unread 03-26-2017, 08:28 PM
ChildOfVenus ChildOfVenus is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

I'm not thinking about depriving the child I am just saying that I don't think I would want to be married. Still that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to have a child.
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Child of Venus, sperm bank situations are entirely different. These agencies have legal back up up the yin-yang. Any unattached woman who is not financially able to support a child on her own really needs to think of why she wants a child and how well she can support it. Unfortunately, love is not enough to raise a child.

What happens if she tells her temporary lover what she's about, but then goes after him for support later after she's changed her mind?

Single mothers tell the child whatever they think appropriate. This is not my point.

My point is that children want to be raised and loved by their daddies. Why would you voluntarily deprive your child of this vital relationship just to satisfy your own desires?
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  #70  
Unread 03-26-2017, 08:36 PM
wan wan is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

It's not very feasible financially anyway. Nowadays one needs a lot of money/resources to raise a child properly. A lot of working people don't have this kind of money. So I think it's best to have another person in one's life before one decides to have a child.
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  #71  
Unread 03-26-2017, 08:40 PM
Tla26 Tla26 is offline
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Originally Posted by ChildOfVenus View Post
And you know this for a fact? Well what about when people adopt? Is there a difference really?
It's a statistic. You aren't special or unique to be exempt from the percentage. And there's a huge difference between thinking up a Machiavellian strategy about conception versus wanting to take in or adopt a child from the foster care system to lower its statistics of being sold into human trafficking (kids in the foster care system are a great number of times more likely to be sold into sex slavery than ones adopted/raised by a family).

You can't just have children to try to put a bandaid on your own fears. When you so desperately try to avoid whatever it is that you fear, you cause it to happen.

And I saw your other post about a woman being "mother material". That is so incredibly misogynistic; the real question is:
Are YOU father material?

And it sounds like you're trying to manipulate some woman into doing what you want.
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  #72  
Unread 03-26-2017, 08:43 PM
ChildOfVenus ChildOfVenus is offline
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

I'm not trying to manipulate anyone into doing anything and of course I would love and care for the child. I don't know why people always take what I say here the wrong way. I do not want to be married but does that mean I can't be a parent? And actually I'm a woman not a man lol.
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It's a statistic. You aren't special or unique to be exempt from the percentage. And there's a huge difference between thinking up a Machiavellian strategy about conception versus wanting to take in or adopt a child from the foster care system to lower its statistics of being sold into human trafficking (kids in the foster care system are a great number of times more likely to be sold into sex slavery than ones adopted/raised by a family).

You can't just have children to try to put a bandaid on your own fears. When you so desperately try to avoid whatever it is that you fear, you cause it to happen.

And I saw your other post about a woman being "mother material". That is so incredibly misogynistic; the real question is:
Are YOU father material?

And it sounds like you're trying to manipulate some woman into doing what you want.

Last edited by ChildOfVenus; 03-26-2017 at 08:47 PM.
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  #73  
Unread 03-26-2017, 09:46 PM
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

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Originally Posted by ChildOfVenus View Post
Lol I just mean do you actually have to be in a relationship with the person who you have a child with?
You don't have to. I know plenty of single parents and props to them. I wouldn't have a child with someone if I knew for certain I wasn't going to be with the person but as of right now, I don't plan on having children at all. Do what you want.

Actually, the Amazon women come to mind. They were pretty cool. Warrior women who cut off their breasts and fought like men. They lived apart from men but every year or something like, they would have sex with them strictly for the purpose of having children. Then, they would part
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  #74  
Unread 03-26-2017, 09:47 PM
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

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Yes you actually do.

Screwing someone and then just ditching them leaves them with the responsibility of the child only, when actually it's both parents responsibility to take care of the child.
I'm guessing you've never heard of the Amazon women then...
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  #75  
Unread 03-26-2017, 10:02 PM
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Re: Would you have a child with someone even if you don't want to be with them?

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I'm guessing you've never heard of the Amazon women then...
Who cares about Amazon women?
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