What went wrong? Why can't I let go?

And where do you think he stands in this? I felt a strong and intense karmic bond which all lead to nothing, maybe through my own self-sabotage and his fear? but I have no definite answers and probably never will. I just need some perspectives on our relationship please. As pathetic as this sounds and I hate myself for saying it, I still dream about him... it's been 6 months since I've seen him. Am I crazy?

Here is both the Synastry and Composite. I'm Virgo Sun and he is Scorpio Sun. Please let me know if you need anymore details, thank you.

pls? i need advice and it would be truly appreciated.

you are not crazy. his scorpio sun conjuncts your scorpio moon. that's a very powerful connection. plus, both your plutos are hovering around them. of course, this relationship is going to have an effect on you. from a chart, i can't see what went wrong. a chart is about potential. it can go either way.

why you can't let go? because you're hurting and a scorpio moon (with a pluto conjunction, for some extra intensity) can't just have a drink and forget about it. we're not wired that way. we tend to be careful about who we let in, and once we do and they trample all over us, betray us, or whatever may have been the case, we hurt. and we hurt deeply. it may take a long time to recover, but don't underestimate the resilience of scorpio. scorpio is made for magnificent transformations. be kind to yourself. don't say you're 'pathetic' for feeling a certain way. and definitely don't hate yourself for saying certain things.

i don't know how long you were in a relationship for. 6 months may be a long time, but it may not. there are active steps that you can take that help you with the healing process. however, this may include delving deeper into your own psychological issues to find out why this particular relationship has affected you so much.

Hi Bittermoon, thank you for response and analysis of this. The nature of our relationship was an odd dynamic, for years, we were never in a solid exclusive relationship but would always find our way to each other. At the end I feel I did something he didn't like (he never said anything) and he cut me out completely and disappeared. There was no goodbye. Nothing. He would never really tell me anything, for years he was pretty much an enigma. One I didn't want to admit I had fallen for, it was so frustrating.

I know the scorpion energy is high in this situation but I feel either I couldn't read him, or he never cared, he played me. I feel that's what hurts me the most he never cared to tell me goodbye, like I'm not worth that.

Is there anything specifically about him, that kind of explains what is wrong with him? Is he a sociopath? and what aspects of our connection made it so difficult in the first place?

i always find it hard to say when something doesn't work out. yeah, i look at the challenging aspects and indeed some of them are so challenging that they should be raising red flags (mercury sq.mercury or venus sq. saturn) but those aren't present in your chart.

he has a gemini moon, which, i think especially for a scorpio sun, can be challenging as it's chaotic and unstable. but there isn't necessarily anything 'wrong' with him.

but the issue you should be looking at is not this relationship, or him, but you. why did you attract him into your life, what is this experience telling you, and what you can take from it. if he can just get up and go (who knows what's really going on inside of him) and leave you hanging there, he is not the one for you.

trust me, i have struggled with this 'letting go' thing horribly recently, and still am. but instead of focusing on him and why it didn't work out, i am really trying to focus on me and what i need from somebody. my ex couldn't give me what i needed and realising that (accepting is a different issue, working on that right now) does soften the blow a little bit.

You are absolutely right, attracting wounded animals has been a commonplace for me. I guess because at this point I'm not capable of giving much to a relationship and always have walls up emotionally. That's probably why I attract men like this.

Are the intensity of my feelings being brought up due to the Saturn transit? I feel more reasonable about it now that I've had time to reflect. Also does the Jupiter transit in Gemini bring any type of good luck to me in terms of love and career? Or is the next 2 and half years about more hardships of life? I feel like I need to be thrown a bone here astrologically... if that makes sense. My Sun and Mars in Virgo, Mercury and Venus in Libra, Moon and Pluto in Scorpio... Saturn has made quite the impact on my life for the past few years and onward. I feel like I've crumbled under it's pressure and I'm not quite sure if I've learned or become bitter.