Lack of sexual magnetism

SiNi2

Member
Hello. I've never been in a relashionship with anyone or had sexual intercourse. Regarding love, the person always wants to only be my friend. What could indicate problems with romance in my chart? Thank you.

Aditional information: i'm a girl who likes girls :sideways:
 

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AppLeo

Well-known member
Well.. generally for most of the population people who are the same gender as you will be your friend and not a romantic partner :lol:

Do the girls you want to date even know that you are lesbian?? Do you know any other lesbians where a potential relationship can manifest??

You have Venus in an exact square to Uranus, which definitely pinpoints to you being lesbian and probably a little distant in your relationships. Or in all your relationships you just don't seem available. You have a Venus in Scorpio which probably makes you a little bit TOO intense perhaps?? You probably need to maintain control in all of your relationships which scares people off.

You're also a Virgo Sun, Moon in Pisces, and Saturn on your rising sign which makes you appear rather reclusive in your appearances. Maybe you need to open up more and initiate your relationships especially since women normally aren't the initiators in relationships. And when you have two women, it's hard for anyone to really initiate anything.
 

SiNi2

Member
"Do the girls you want to date even know that you are lesbian?? Do you know any other lesbians where a potential relationship can manifest??"

that's not a problem haha. People know that i am and usually the girls i'm atracted to are also lesbians or bissexuals, so...

Anyway, i received complaints regarding the "too intense" detail, so it's accurate and i usually show myself as responsible, serious,career oriented and not up to just "flings". Maybe that scares people, despite the fact that i do sound like a control freak.

But that's not an impossible problem to fix (considering the chart), right?
 

AppLeo

Well-known member
"Do the girls you want to date even know that you are lesbian?? Do you know any other lesbians where a potential relationship can manifest??"

that's not a problem haha. People know that i am and usually the girls i'm atracted to are also lesbians or bissexuals, so...

Anyway, i received complaints regarding the "too intense" detail, so it's accurate and i usually show myself as responsible, serious,career oriented and not up to just "flings". Maybe that scares people, despite the fact that i do sound like a control freak.

But that's not an impossible problem to fix (considering the chart), right?

It's a totally fixable part of your chart. Saturn on your rising definitely puts a stop to things. You probably won't fully bloom as a person until later in life and that includes relationships. Not to mention, Saturn is exactly opposite your 7th house (relationships). Every time you want a relationship, you essentially have to loosen up, but Saturn is telling you to maintain control.

You also have Chiron in the 7th house, which could also be another indicator of not having a relationship. To add on with the Venus square Uranus aspect, you probably seem to eccentric to be in a relationship. In time though, you'll find a relationship.
 

SiNi2

Member
Sure, but my mars doesn't have many opportunities haha. The problem is that i don't feel my venus energy of attraction, so, things gets complicated.
 

Praymantus

Active member
You have a lot of water/feminine placements... you would probably be hesitant to throw caution to the wind and hook up with anyone to begin with. Your chart is more passive and maybe self-preserving. You are still pretty young too, so I would say you are fine just the way you are. You have plenty of "magnetism" in your chart from what I can tell, but also you seem to have some loner type energy going on.
 
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jkxx74

Premium Member
Hi SiNi2,

AppLeo covered all the points I was going to make so just going to thumbs up their interpretations. You do have Venus square Uranus exactly which is something I have as well and it typically acts to steer you exactly towards the people who would be unavailable or won't respond in whatever way you are expecting. No advice on how to tackle this other than to pay attention to your attractions and look at what is drawing you toward various people.

Your Moon is in the 12th but also in the sign ruled by Neptune which is a difficult position, where basically you need a trine from your Moon to someone's Sun or Venus (Jupiter will work pretty well too) to feel comfortable enough to interact with that person. But it is a very empathetic position so you'll be particularly caring for any people who enter your life.

Now that Saturn, Saturn is extremely difficult when placed in any of the cardinal houses (1,4,7,10) and although yours is in the 12th it's on the AC so double trouble there. The good news with this planet is that you can expect things to really pick up by the time your Saturn return rolls around at age 29. Until then, do whatever you can to stay positive and keep plugging away. Saturn does eventually give you a pay check for all the hard work.
 

Chillaxer

Well-known member
Well it's certainly not Mars in Scorpio in the 8th, or Pluto in the 8th, they suggest the opposite.

However, you have Chiron in Scorpio in the 7th. This suggests wound regarding deep shared connections, in one on one relationships. Maybe unwittingly you have some fear here so push it away more than you realize, on a subconscious level. However it also suggest healing with experience, giving a great gift to others over time. So it's far from all negative.

The one that is noticeable is that Mercury is in Virgo in the 5th, and the North Node is in Virgo on the 5th/6th cusp, with the Sun in Virgo in the 6th.

Virgo is known as the most shy and self denying sign, and the most virginal, so it's presence in the 5th house, along with Mercury ruling the logical mind and instincts, and in it's own sign, means that you may have real trouble letting go with flirting and romance, and getting out of your head - that you are cautious. It's not uncommon for people to feel they are too mentally focused to be alluring to more spontaneous types.

Your 6th house is also ruled by Virgo, 'home sign' for this house, as you might say, doubling down on this potential theme.

Your Mercury rules it's other sign, Gemini, in the 3rd house, with the 3rd house again in it's 'home' sign.

So the affairs of the Gemini ruled 3rd effect your fifth and sixth house behaviour and planets, this adds yet even stronger emphasis to the overly mental aspect getting in the way of affairs and flirting (Gemini and Virgo are also known as 'barren' signs for conception, incidentally)


With the North node in Virgo on the 5th/6th Cusp, it seems the virginal, shy, and crucially the discriminating(Pisces tends to be undiscriminating) theme is continued as a part of your development. It's hard to tell how close to the cusp it is and if it plays out in the 5th exactly, but it may be again with the 6th health is an obsession, along with other 6th/Virgo themes, and with the 6th ruler in the 5th these themes play heavily on your love life.

So I may have gone around the house there, let me try and sum up-

Study Mercury, Virgo and the 6th, and 3rd houses,(and maybe why Gemini and Virgo are barrens signs) as they play heavily on your Fifth house expression.

The 7th and 8th houses are nowhere near so negative, in fact they suggest much more success, so maybe your failure romantically is very much at the first hurdle. Greater success is suggested with more serious relationships that you have with age, and maybe just the initial hurdle is what needs the work- or you may be the type to just go more straight to more serious relationships which come with age
 

SiNi2

Member
I was actually thinking about what you said, Chillaxer, and indeed, i mentalize too much. I mean, approaching someone is basically a scientific project that takes a time to analyse and consider. But in situations where my mental state is disturbed (like drunk, for instance -- in my country people are aloud to drink since 18), things just happens. The problem is: how to just let go in a healthy way and without external help. Thank you for your enlightment.
 
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Chillaxer

Well-known member
I was actually thinking about what you said, Chillaxer, and indeed, i mentalize too much. I mean, approaching someone is basically a scientific project that takes a time to analyse and consider. But in situations where my mental state is disturbed (like drunk, for instance -- in my country people are aloud to drink since 18), things just happens. The problem is: how to just let go in a healthy way and without external help. Thank you for your enlightment.

Glad to help.

I know what you mean, logic gets in the way of instinct.

I also just noticed those 12th house planets, they are worth looking at.
With the moon in the 12th in Pisces, you may have (possibly subconsciously)quite reclusive, spiritual, solitary instincts.

So it maybe that sometimes you end up alone, again, kind of through your own tendencies rather than other peoples willingness to engage?

Then there is the Saturn, this is a key planet for manifesting sense of 'restriction' in people's lives. It is also interestingly placed right near the Ascendant, so, in my view, it may carry aspects from both houses or blending of acting in both the 12th and on the Ascendant.

It's in Aries, which is the self, the 'I am' sign of projection in the chart, so there may be sense of fear and limitation(Saturn and 12th)with your self projection and image, a limitation around self-assertion, which affects your Asc, your basic approach.

The Aries part in the 12th suggests maybe subconscious self-defeating limitations in your persona, however; T

The Saturn on the Ascendant in Aries ends with a positive, because Saturn 'delays but does not deny'.

It suggests you have to wait or work hard to find that authentic, or more effective, self projection and approach.

[This is off at a tangent, but Aries is again a barren sign, it's quite interesting to me that these signs could influence your sexuality on some deep level as in not wanting to conceive being linked to lesbianism, but that is my own more speculative and abstract theory. I hope that doesn't offend you.]

Aries is has 'me first' flavour, so in the 12th, it could be again in keeping with the theme that subconsciously, you are actually more inclined to your own needs and self-interest and/or being alone than you realise, and so this affects your relationships.

On the end of the 12th/ascendant with Saturn, it may be that you come over as slightly austere, harsh and self-possessed/controlled to people, or maybe quite intense. It might combine with the mental theme I mentioned in the last post to mean that people don't feel flirting or initiating is easy with you.

This is worth looking at-

http://www.alwaysastrology.com/saturn-in-aries.html

I would re-emphasise, that whilst Saturn and Chiron are symptomatic of problems, they also bestow learning and gifts with time.

I think with your north node and emphasis on what we talked about, you shouldn't necessarily 'fight' these 'mental' elements, maybe try and understand what going on subconsciously and become more aware, and then get in perspective.
I still don't think there's anything much wrong in the 7th/8th sectors, and this along with the Saturn and Chiron themes your chart does just suggest getting a bit older and having more serious relationships are a stronger area for you than the 5th house type relationships that are somewhat correlated with younger ages where people want less commitment.

Jupiter rules part of your 8th, and is in the 10th, so maybe meeting someone at work and forming a deep relationship this way is where luck is to be found. This also ties in with being able to meet someone in a more natural way, and hence spontaneity being easier. Sagittarius and Jupiter are spontaneous and intuitive.


I think it's also worth looking at your part of fortune, this is a good energy point which can manifest positivity that flows to other areas of your life.

I'm not 100% sure I worked it out right, but looking at your chart it seems to be that your sun and moon are half the chart apart, and your POF would be conjunct the Descendant in Libra, this couldn't be more fortunate for relationships so it doesn't fit with your problem(but may explain why relationships are a focus) But it may emphasise this 'falling at the first hurdle' thing being your problem.
 
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waybread

Well-known member
I need to stress that there is no single signature for same-sex orientation. Some lesbians have Venus square Uranus, some do not have it, and some heterosexual women have this aspect.

Regardless of your orientation, with Venus conjunct Chiron in the 7th house, being in a relationship is very important to you, yet you seemingly come from a position of expecting to be hurt, or of being constitutionally inadequate in a relationship. This is reinforced by Saturn sitting on your ascendant, opposing the cusp of your 7th house of committed relationships (DC.)

Here, I think the Uranus square means that just when you think a relationship is going to happen, there is a sudden shift and it ends as suddenly as it begins.

Some people are just late bloomers. It may take a while to find that special someone. You may be lonely while waiting for her to show up, but that's not a bad reflection on you as a person.
 
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