A Saturnian Nightmare...

I have Sun, Venus, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and North Node in Capricorn... Saturn is my dominant planet. I have Moon (in Aries) square Saturn and the Moon is actually the ruler of my chart. I also have many other hard Saturn aspects such as Saturn squaring the Lunar Nodes, Saturn opp. Chiron, Saturn opp. Ascendant, and Saturn, Venus and North Node triple conjunction. As an adolescent I was suicidal af and saw everything through abyss-tinted glasses. I have never been very social, had no real friends/still don't, but I was always as loving and caring as possible toward those around me. I have 1 consort and our relationship is Uranian in nature... I used to get upset during our "off" times because I was deeply in love with him, but now I'm very numb and couldn't care less if he decided to suddenly stop seeing me. For that matter, I don't care much about anything at all, including myself. I don't feel anything alone or with others and this is only worsening as much as I try to work toward the opposite. Everything is troublesome from working, to eating, to dealing with people, to inhaling oxygen. I often daydream about retirement and being old, but I'm only 26. I can't wait for the time to pass and for death to finally come for me. Do you perceive anything auspicious in my chart to come or am I cursed to eternal numbness/infernal oblivion? I have done a bit of digging into my future transits and considering the fact that my Saturn return is soon approaching, it seems like everything I've been through was frosting cupcakes compared to what's coming. Does anyone have any insights? I would be loads grateful, because I'm beginning to regress into my youth-held state of mind that my life isn't worth living. My life has been nothing but suffering, loss, and sorrow... I've had bloody enough of Saturn.



My chart is here -->http://www.astro.com/tmpd/cesmfile6qIbkE-u1487228441/astro_w2gw_02_erin_morgan.69361.61163.gif
 

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Rawiri

Well-known member
I'll grant you it's a tough chart...

Things should likely begin to look a bit more "up" come August. For a year or so anyway...

You seem to be someone who for whatever reason has their chart set up (and its timing) that you are taking a lot of the bad hits early in life...you're currently, generally speaking, in your worst period. Mid 2021 you will shift into a much nicer period for you, there is potential for some good success after that time and certainly emotionally about your life you will feel better.

You have an extremely nice Jupiter, as far as I judge charts...so you have the ability to understand what is "good" and actually do a lot of good in the world - in actuality being a good person.

But, being perfectly sincere...while there is some wiggle room in your chart for an out...this really is more of a renunciates chart than anything else. It will be difficult to find satisfaction from the world with this chart and even though you might attain some success after 2021 and be happier, actually feeling fulfilled or nourished by the world is not exactly going to come naturally.

So yes, there is good in your future - but yours is the first chart I've seen for a long time where I would seriously ask whether you've ever considered ashram life or such...
 

Fz hb

Well-known member
hi,
please post your sr charts for this year and current transit chart.

to begin with, stop blaming a planet for your troubles. whatever we have in our natal chart is the starting point, it is on us to work hard and find our ways out of the abyss that we inherit by birth. each planet teaches us a certain set of lessons and keeps throwing us into the deep end of the ocean till we learn what we are meant to. your saturn wants you to improve your one on one relationships, whether they are personal or professional. if you fail to recognize the flaws in your approach and behavior towards relationships then saturn will keep pushing you towards harder lesson plans to teach you the same thing over and over. considering that you have venus, saturn and north node in seventh house, you seem to be the type that only wants a perfect, stable relationship, hence putting unnecessary pressure on you and the people around you. saturn return is a messy phase and to deal with it one needs to focus objectively on what is it that saturn wants you to learn. north node in 7th with the saturn and venus forces you to fake being nice to people around you. if you want saturn to be nice to you, you better do your homework and catch up with the lesson plan realistically.

good luck
 
I have Sun, Venus, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and North Node in Capricorn... Saturn is my dominant planet. I have Moon (in Aries) square Saturn and the Moon is actually the ruler of my chart. I also have many other hard Saturn aspects such as Saturn squaring the Lunar Nodes, Saturn opp. Chiron, Saturn opp. Ascendant, and Saturn, Venus and North Node triple conjunction. As an adolescent I was suicidal af and saw everything through abyss-tinted glasses. I have never been very social, had no real friends/still don't, but I was always as loving and caring as possible toward those around me. I have 1 consort and our relationship is Uranian in nature... I used to get upset during our "off" times because I was deeply in love with him, but now I'm very numb and couldn't care less if he decided to suddenly stop seeing me. For that matter, I don't care much about anything at all, including myself. I don't feel anything alone or with others and this is only worsening as much as I try to work toward the opposite. Everything is troublesome from working, to eating, to dealing with people, to inhaling oxygen. I often daydream about retirement and being old, but I'm only 26. I can't wait for the time to pass and for death to finally come for me. Do you perceive anything auspicious in my chart to come or am I cursed to eternal numbness/infernal oblivion? I have done a bit of digging into my future transits and considering the fact that my Saturn return is soon approaching, it seems like everything I've been through was frosting cupcakes compared to what's coming. Does anyone have any insights? I would be loads grateful, because I'm beginning to regress into my youth-held state of mind that my life isn't worth living. My life has been nothing but suffering, loss, and sorrow... I've had bloody enough of Saturn.



My chart is here -->http://www.astro.com/tmpd/cesmfile6qIbkE-u1487228441/astro_w2gw_02_erin_morgan.69361.61163.gif

I have Saturn conjunct Pluto which I always thought was tough. I've learnt as I've got older to appreciate my saturial vibes. I can't imagine what it's like to have the amount of Saturn that you have but because you have gone through all these lessons, isolation and obstacles you naturally know more about reality than the average person. That's powerful. As you are now (not that you may feel this way now) in the position to learn to control reality. You are seeing life as is with less illusion which as you will find (I hope) is an absolute gift that you will only appreciate once you start to make use of your saturial knowledge of life.

Everyone has a cross to bear. Often people who have neptunium charts experience "good luck" and "happiness" that turn out to offer up complete hell bent disillusionment. I don't envy people like that either. You should end up in a position of respect and status and are going through these hurdles to make you stronger to achieve this in this life.

I have south node in Capricorn.
 

kshantaram

Premium Member
I have Sun, Venus, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and North Node in Capricorn... Saturn is my dominant planet.

As an adolescent I was suicidal af and saw everything through abyss-tinted glasses. I have never been very social, had no real friends/still don't, but I was always as loving and caring as possible toward those around me.

I have 1 consort and our relationship is Uranian in nature... I used to get upset during our "off" times because I was deeply in love with him, but now I'm very numb and couldn't care less if he decided to suddenly stop seeing me.

For that matter, I don't care much about anything at all, including myself. I don't feel anything alone or with others and this is only worsening as much as I try to work toward the opposite.

Everything is troublesome from working, to eating, to dealing with people, to inhaling oxygen.

I often daydream about retirement and being old, but I'm only 26. I can't wait for the time to pass and for death to finally come for me.

Do you perceive anything auspicious in my chart to come or am I cursed to eternal numbness/infernal oblivion? I have done a bit of digging into my future transits and considering the fact that my Saturn return is soon approaching, it seems like everything I've been through was frosting cupcakes compared to what's coming.

Does anyone have any insights? I would be loads grateful, because I'm beginning to regress into my youth-held state of mind that my life isn't worth living.

My life has been nothing but suffering, loss, and sorrow... I've had bloody enough of Saturn.

My chart is here -->http://www.astro.com/tmpd/cesmfile6qIbkE-u1487228441/astro_w2gw_02_erin_morgan.69361.61163.gif



ketu separative node over cancer asc, hyper-sensitive-intuitive;
prone to pain-injury head-heart-lungs etc.

asc lord moon over 11th impulsive aries for income-gains-friendships;
gains from elderly women/mothers/govt perhaps;

taurus-venus inimical for cancer asc; 11th lord mars inimical taurus;
gains from hotel management, banking, food tech etc but under stress-delay;
moreover mars retro causing delays anyway;
retro mars towards own aries, moon-mars aries volatile emotions-fin;

inimical venus over cap 7th, gains from spouse,
but stress-delays in marriage-relationship;

sat own cap 7th, growth-riches from mass leadership-public admin-event management;
sat-venus lords 5/7/9 conjunct good for prosperity;

sat-venus-rahu artistic aptitudes, foreign relationships and travels,
rise-fall in life, ancestor worship/prayers as per custom for their welfare;
craves for affection but difficult; mutual health issues in marriage;
sat lord 9th, settling at 36+

sat now 4-5m retro scorpio 5th opp mars,
luck-edu-romance-children-position-income-friendships under stress;
next sat turns direct sag 6th good for employment-health prospects;

jup leo 2nd, commanding attitude, advisory aptitudes;
jup trine sag 6th supportive of employment prospects;
jup trine moon aries 11th supportive of income-gains-friendships;
rahu the node now moved to jup-leo clouding wisdom-family-fin;


jup sooner now direct libra aspect moon aries 11th for gains;

retro natal jup towards elevated cancer protective,
trine own pisces 9th protective of luck-education-spirituality,
trine scorpio 5th for research-occult aptitudes,
mer retro towards scorpio 5th again research-occult aptitudes,
mars aspect own scorpio promoting research-occult,
but not good for health of children.

retro jup cancer opp sat,
misjudgments-misunderstandings-missed opportunities
in relationship-luck-education-employment etc


sun cap 6th influencing others through own personality,
cap ambitious-hardworking; good at govt liaison;

mer 6th retro sag, argumentative; may be better at legal drafting;
mer lord 4th over 6th, affecting mother's health and property matters;
mer aspect own gemini 12th for foreign lands; success amidst adversity;
sat elevated aspect over libra 4th promoting domestic comforts-property;


hope information helps take stock and reflect;
do care to share pointwise feedbacks, true-untrue, meaningful-insightful,
traits-temperament-talents; events-plans-prospects; prevention;

wishing well,


kshantaram
 
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kore

Active member
You've had transit Pluto conjunct your stellium of planets for the past ten years. Heavy times. I went through Pluto squaring my stellium in my 20s and that period seemed like a nightmare. At that time, Pluto was in Sag. My Sag stellium friends were enduring some dark psychological stuff. Like buried alive. The gloom passes after the transit. Good news is the Saturn Return will probably be a time of progress and rewards for you. Life gets better after 30 for the Saturn person. So hang in there, doom is not lasting forever. You have Jupiter in the 2nd house, a very fortunate placement. Pluto is in a fun house. So you have a lot of good things coming your way.
 
I'll grant you it's a tough chart...

Things should likely begin to look a bit more "up" come August. For a year or so anyway...

You seem to be someone who for whatever reason has their chart set up (and its timing) that you are taking a lot of the bad hits early in life...you're currently, generally speaking, in your worst period. Mid 2021 you will shift into a much nicer period for you, there is potential for some good success after that time and certainly emotionally about your life you will feel better.

You have an extremely nice Jupiter, as far as I judge charts...so you have the ability to understand what is "good" and actually do a lot of good in the world - in actuality being a good person.

But, being perfectly sincere...while there is some wiggle room in your chart for an out...this really is more of a renunciates chart than anything else. It will be difficult to find satisfaction from the world with this chart and even though you might attain some success after 2021 and be happier, actually feeling fulfilled or nourished by the world is not exactly going to come naturally.

So yes, there is good in your future - but yours is the first chart I've seen for a long time where I would seriously ask whether you've ever considered ashram life or such...

You are absolutely correct in this being a renunciant's chart. I
have always felt like a supreme outcast, the Ultimate Nemesis of the
world! I am constantly teeming with rejection and bitterness, but
I've gotten loads better about that since my immersion into
spirituality. Most of the time I hate everything. It all feels so
wrong! I want to nuke the whole world into dust. I never feel like
doing anything even though I know I'm probably capable of great
things. People tell me I'm skilled and amazing even though I'm always
half-assing things, because they're a pain. I also have a tendency to
judge people harshly, but only in my own mind (Mercury is also
prominent in my chart.) Like a commenter below touched on I DO
actually have some kind of energy that forces kindness toward
everyone externally, even though I'm bloody Satan on the inside lolol... I have
always been resistant to conformity in everything I've done down to how I dress and
hold my silverware lol... And verrry, verry dark. I am obsessed with
death. I have sympathy for the devil. My mother used to hang crosses
all over my room, because she thought I was possessed by a demon LOL!

What do you mean by "while there is some wiggle room in your chart
for an out...?" It's also interesting you mention ashram life... Had to look up that term, but I've always dreamed of living in a similar community. I've also been entertaining and tentatively planning "off the grid" living.

I thank you immensely for your reply. You are a blessing!
 
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hi,
please post your sr charts for this year and current transit chart.

to begin with, stop blaming a planet for your troubles. whatever we have in our natal chart is the starting point, it is on us to work hard and find our ways out of the abyss that we inherit by birth. each planet teaches us a certain set of lessons and keeps throwing us into the deep end of the ocean till we learn what we are meant to. your saturn wants you to improve your one on one relationships, whether they are personal or professional. if you fail to recognize the flaws in your approach and behavior towards relationships then saturn will keep pushing you towards harder lesson plans to teach you the same thing over and over. considering that you have venus, saturn and north node in seventh house, you seem to be the type that only wants a perfect, stable relationship, hence putting unnecessary pressure on you and the people around you. saturn return is a messy phase and to deal with it one needs to focus objectively on what is it that saturn wants you to learn. north node in 7th with the saturn and venus forces you to fake being nice to people around you. if you want saturn to be nice to you, you better do your homework and catch up with the lesson plan realistically.

good luck

Hello Fz hb,
I knoooooow it's not Saturn's fault lol.. I've read that Saturn is
actually just as lucky if not more-so than Jupiter because it grants
supreme, long-lasting rewards to those who don't resist its lessons. What I can't seem to grasp is what these lessons actually are for me. I have always been obsequious in ALL one on one's with careful consideration for others' feelings, needs, and comfort. I AM a Cancer Asc. after all! I'm like
Mama Bear defending my babies with a machine gun (Aries Moon
lololol).. But every time I've done this, I've either been rejected,
deceived, or some unfortunate thing happened to end these
connections. Like me trying to make one friend happy which meant
doing something that made a different friend unhappy... Rawr! Wtf,
right? I've become so numb that having any friends or lovers
hereafter seems nugatory. I have been doing loads of "homework" on
Saturn and these particular placements, but it all doesn't quite make
much sense given the way things have turned out. I am left with no
significant 7th house relationships in my life and no desire for
any...so what can Saturn even do at this point? There is no one in my
life it can use for catalysis. You are absolutely correct that there
is an energy which forces me to "fake nice" toward everyone around
me. ACTUALLY...at some point in my youth I obligingly dated just
about any decent looking man interested in me which was another great
source of my suffering. Am I meant to stop all of this madness as I
have? At some point I thought I'm meant to be alone, but my chart
seems to suggest otherwise and quite strongly at that. It seems like
my soul's purpose has entirely to do with the 7th house. How
confusing! Being alone seems like the only path for me at this point.

BTW, the first attachment is SR Chart, second is current! I thank you sincerely for replying. Your insight is invaluable to me!
 

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ketu separative node over cancer asc, hyper-sensitive-intuitive;
prone to pain-injury head-heart-lungs etc.

asc lord moon over 11th impulsive aries for income-gains-friendships;
gains from elderly women/mothers/govt perhaps;

taurus-venus inimical for cancer asc; 11th lord mars inimical taurus;
gains from hotel management, banking, food tech etc but under stress-delay;
moreover mars retro causing delays anyway;
retro mars towards own aries, moon-mars aries volatile emotions-fin;

inimical venus over cap 7th, gains from spouse,
but stress-delays in marriage-relationship;

sat own cap 7th, growth-riches from mass leadership-public admin-event management;
sat-venus lords 5/7/9 conjunct good for prosperity;

sat-venus-rahu artistic aptitudes, foreign relationships and travels,
rise-fall in life, ancestor worship/prayers as per custom for their welfare;
craves for affection but difficult; mutual health issues in marriage;
sat lord 9th, settling at 36+

sat now 4-5m retro scorpio 5th opp mars,
luck-edu-romance-children-position-income-friendships under stress;
next sat turns direct sag 6th good for employment-health prospects;

jup leo 2nd, commanding attitude, advisory aptitudes;
jup trine sag 6th supportive of employment prospects;
jup trine moon aries 11th supportive of income-gains-friendships;
rahu the node now moved to jup-leo clouding wisdom-family-fin;


jup sooner now direct libra aspect moon aries 11th for gains;

sun cap 6th influencing others through own personality,
cap ambitious-hardworking; good at govt liaison;

mer 6th retro sag, argumentative; may be better at legal drafting;
mer lord 4th over 6th, affecting mother's health and property matters;
mer aspect own gemini 12th for foreign lands; success amidst adversity;
sat elevated aspect over libra 4th promoting domestic comforts-property;


hope information helps take stock and reflect;
do care to share pointwise feedbacks, true-untrue, meaningful-insightful,
traits-temperament-talents; events-plans-prospects; prevention;

wishing well,


kshantaram

"ketu separative node over cancer asc, hyper-sensitive-intuitive;
prone to pain-injury head-heart-lungs etc."
I am DEFINITELY hyper sensitive. Possibly an empath. Guess there's no way to know for sure. As far as prone to pain/injury... My Dad nicknamed me "crash course" in my youth, because I was always bumping into things getting black and blue LOL!! Funny. Heart/lungs? I was a heavy smoker for almost 10 years, and HEARTBREAK is a familiar thing indeed LOLX10!

"asc lord moon over 11th impulsive aries for income-gains-friendships;
gains from elderly women/mothers/govt perhaps;"
Hmmm.. I suppose my mother has always been somewhat generous and helps me financially. The government only takes and takes from me unfortunately though lolol...

"taurus-venus inimical for cancer asc; 11th lord mars inimical
taurus;gains from hotel management, banking, food tech etc but under
stress-delay;
moreover mars retro causing delays anyway;
retro mars towards own aries, moon-mars aries volatile emotions-fin;"
LOL! My first jobs were in hotels and food service. I worked my *** off and got some promotions/raises but nothing to write home about. Went from naked in poverty to naked in poverty with a sombrero on lolol. Mars retrograde? Ohhhh yea. I am stubborn as hell. If my life could be summed up in one word, DELAY would be it. Volatile emotions FOR SURE. I was a tempestuous animal in high school. I'm mostly numbed out now, though.

"inimical venus over cap 7th, gains from spouse,
but stress-delays in marriage-relationship;"
Dudes I've dated are usually generous in sharing money and assets. Delays in marriage? Hooooooo yea, buddy. Probably not gonna' happen.

"sat own cap 7th, growth-riches from mass leadership-public admin-event management;
sat-venus lords 5/7/9 conjunct good for prosperity;"
Gains from mass leadership? I AM a natural leader, but I'm also AGAINST society. The rebel-ist of rebels! My Aries moon influence, perhaps? I would abhor working for the government, because I don't believe in government. That's one thing about Saturn that doesn't fit with me. I am so heavily Saturnian, but I'm not tradtional or law-abiding. Eww. I believe people should govern their own **** selves.

"sat-venus-rahu artistic aptitudes, foreign relationships and travels,
rise-fall in life, ancestor worship/prayers as per custom for their
welfare;
craves for affection but difficult; mutual health issues in marriage;
sat lord 9th, settling at 36+"
Craves for affection? Hmm. As a child I suppose, but the concept of
me receiving affection fell out of my radar ages ago. I don't wish
for it or anything. I consciously assume people address me to utilize
my services. Mutual health issues in marriage? Wonderful. Now I'm definitely NOT getting married lol. Settling at 36+? That's
believable.

"sat now 4-5m retro scorpio 5th opp mars,
luck-edu-romance-children-position-income-friendships under stress;
next sat turns direct sag 6th good for employment-health prospects;"
Yea, I would say all of that is accurate.

"jup leo 2nd, commanding attitude, advisory aptitudes;
jup trine sag 6th supportive of employment prospects;
jup trine moon aries 11th supportive of income-gains-friendships;
rahu the node now moved to jup-leo clouding wisdom-family-fin;"
Hmmm... Don't seem to be feeling the effects of any of these at the moment.

"jup sooner now direct libra aspect moon aries 11th for gains;"

"sun cap 6th influencing others through own personality," - Not sure?
I have a strong personality, though I guess.

"cap ambitious-hardworking; good at govt liaison;" I am hardworking
as hell when I want to be, but not very ambitious.. I ABHOR everything do to with the government, though.

"mer 6th retro sag, argumentative; may be better at legal drafting;"
I used to be argumentative, but not really anymore. I just let people
ramble on and think they're right lol...

"mer lord 4th over 6th, affecting mother's health and property
matters;"
Affecting her health how? She did suffer a lot emotionally raising my
sister and me, but my sister was a PSYCHOPATH. I always kept out of
her hair.

"mer aspect own gemini 12th for foreign lands; success amidst adversity;"
I DO have an immense ability to "rise to the occasion."

"sat elevated aspect over libra 4th promoting domestic comforts-property;"
Yeaaa.... I won't deny, I have always lived pretty.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! This was very helpful and like a
reflective inventory of sorts that helped draw a big picture to analyze. Your reply is hugely appreciated!
 
I have Saturn conjunct Pluto which I always thought was tough. I've learnt as I've got older to appreciate my saturial vibes. I can't imagine what it's like to have the amount of Saturn that you have but because you have gone through all these lessons, isolation and obstacles you naturally know more about reality than the average person. That's powerful. As you are now (not that you may feel this way now) in the position to learn to control reality. You are seeing life as is with less illusion which as you will find (I hope) is an absolute gift that you will only appreciate once you start to make use of your saturial knowledge of life.

Everyone has a cross to bear. Often people who have neptunium charts experience "good luck" and "happiness" that turn out to offer up complete hell bent disillusionment. I don't envy people like that either. You should end up in a position of respect and status and are going through these hurdles to make you stronger to achieve this in this life.

I have south node in Capricorn.

Hmm. I have the Saturn conjunct Pluto transit approaching soon with my Saturn return, and I'm just thrilled. :annoyed: I'm not really satisfied with any of the interpretations I've read of the transit, but how do you think having the natal aspect has impacted your life? I do take some pride in my strength as a Saturnian because the cross it provides is a heavy, thorny one. Honestly if Jesus was a real person, I imagine he was probably Saturnian as well with a prominent 6th house. Funny because even though December 25th allegedly wasn't Jesus' true birthday, I could see that day thousands of years ago having had placements extremely similar to mine lol.. I really appreciate your insights. I hope I see these rewards some day. :joyful:
 
Hmm. I have the Saturn conjunct Pluto transit approaching soon with my Saturn return, and I'm just thrilled. :annoyed: I'm not really satisfied with any of the interpretations I've read of the transit, but how do you think having the natal aspect has impacted your life? I do take some pride in my strength as a Saturnian because the cross it provides is a heavy, thorny one. Honestly if Jesus was a real person, I imagine he was probably Saturnian as well with a prominent 6th house. Funny because even though December 25th allegedly wasn't Jesus' true birthday, I could see that day thousands of years ago having had placements extremely similar to mine lol.. I really appreciate your insights. I hope I see these rewards some day. :joyful:

This interpretation is pretty apt I'm afraid 😳 Read all 3 parts, this is prt 1.
http://www.neptunecafe.com/donnaC2.html
 
This interpretation is pretty apt I'm afraid 😳 Read all 3 parts, this is prt 1.
http://www.neptunecafe.com/donnaC2.html

I couldn't find a link to get to the third part..? But this was excellent information. I'm honestly tired of mod. astrology trying to sugar coat and slap a positive sticker on everything which is the flavor of most info I've come across thus far. Some things need to be told straight-up, especially anything having to do with Pluto! I have Pluto sextiling my Saturn/Venus conjunction natally which has manifested somewhat... but I can't imagine what this transit will soon bring. It feels like it will be the final trial of the squishiest, heaviest doo-doo... Like Jesus' crucifixion. :andy: Pluto is a familiar energy for me because my sister has prominent Pluto (in Scorpio) in her chart, second dominant after her Sun in Leo... and let me tell you she is a spectacle. Leo+Scorpio is... in one word? SCARY. Sociopath is a close second. Especially in such strong concentrations granted by the sign placements and chart dominance enhancing the polarity. She is a beyond difficult personality that I can only handle being around for moments at a time. I can't believe the **** that comes out of her mouth lol. She is an obvious, pathological liar but thinks she's got everyone fooled. I feel bad for my mother who had to raise a Saturnian and Plutonian child as a single parent. What a tough break, holy napkins... :surprised:
 

ashriia

Well-known member
Do you perceive anything auspicious in my chart to come or am I cursed to eternal numbness/infernal oblivion? I have done a bit of digging into my future transits and considering the fact that my Saturn return is soon approaching, it seems like everything I've been through was frosting cupcakes compared to what's coming.


Hi.

I think things will slowly start improving for you. You've definitely had a rough beginning, no doubt. Chiron and Saturn are both along the nodal axis.
I'd really recommend some type of healing - whatever you find that relaxes you or that brings you comfort; to do more of. Chiron being conjunct the south node as it is in your 1st house might be an indication of carrying over wounds from previous lifetimes, indeed a heavy cross to bear. Or as you prefer not sugar coating things-- perhaps you didn't want to return to earthly life, due to spiritual pain associated with worldly life. I'd really recommend to you reading eckhart tolle's - the new earth. Particularly the part about the "pain body". Or reading snippets from it online.

Your talk about your consort, and not caring about if the relationship ends. I think will be tested, if it hasn't already been. You've had progressed pluto square venus for some time, the square perfected in March of 2016 and is now separating. Meanwhile, you've had pluto transiting your descendant and your natal venus. I'm guessing there was a change in the relationship during this time, which has lead you to your current state of numbness? This is the time of relationship realizations/insights, listen to your intuition concerning these matters! Not to worry you, will be stronger for it.

Some other things of note, yes you have a challenging chart, most of the difficulties associated with younger years. Your progressed ascendant changed from Cancer to Leo in late 2009, which should have felt like a weight had been lifted, but that is around the time pluto transited into capricorn, so there wasn't much of a give in energies.

However, the good news.. Your progressed sun progressed into aquarius in the middle of 2016, which might have not felt too liberating as it was conjunct progressed saturn still. But it's now moving away from it's conjunction to progressed saturn. And as a result, some lighter feelings are in store. Thank heavens!:joyful: Also some interesting changes. I don't think you should be worried about your saturn return one bit actually. I think positive changes will come from it.

And transit uranus will be conjuncting your natal moon/ruler of the chart soon. And coupled with the progression of prog sun to aquarius, youre going to have little patience for anything holding you back/down/or any sort of restrictions. You'll be chasing your individual expression/freedom, and you will succeed. :smile:
 
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StillOne

Well-known member
Welcome to the forum Envoy! :cool:

Just curious, how sure are you of your birth time?

I find it interesting you're a Cappy Sun with Saturn conjunct NN in Cap as well. You really need to befriend that Saturn! I think that's the reason for the square between your Moon and Saturn. It's awakening you, early in life, to Saturn energy.

If we reduce orbs a bit (astro.com extended chart selection) to, say, 85% we see that the Mars Pluto opposition is pretty weak as well as the Moon Venus square.

Natal Retrograde Mercury is unaspected... That's pretty interesting!

You lack the element of Air in your chart. Pluto is a singleton in the element of Water.

Transiting Saturn currently conjunct Mercury. Transiting Pluto currently conjunct Venus. Both are retrograde so the lessons are being re-emphasized.

You've certainly had an intense last several years with transiting Pluto wreaking havoc in Capricorn.

If my memory serves, Capricorn can sometimes have a rougher go in the beginning, only to have beautiful lives a bit later on. Capricorn on the Desc typically means settling down later... don't worry as typically you'll age wonderfully. :innocent:

Apologies if this was mentioned by others, I didn't read most of the responses.
 

Fz hb

Well-known member
what i meant when i wrote about the lessons of your Saturn and finding out the flaws in your attitude or approach was that you need to "not be nice" all the time but you dont have to be rude. instead if your heart is not in a relationship you dont have to force yourself into it. and these relationships are not always personal, sometimes, at workplace, we dont want to be friends with our colleagues and its ok to be just "friendly" instead of being "friends" with everyone. May be you need to tell people around you to mind their own business and not interfere in your matters because of their misconceptions about you, it could even be your family. It could be any number of things which you first need to understand yourself about and then communicate to others as well (communication of your emotions and feelings; your mercury-moon trine says so, and this will help you do away with a lot of mess in your head and your life in general). You have to de-clutter yourself from all the beliefs that your earlier environment has lead you to believe about life and relationships.

balance is not a static state, it happens when something swings equally on both sides, so if you want to have happy, stable relationships, then you have to also learn to be happy on your own. your saturn in seventh does not mean you are going to be alone, it just means that you will find the right relationship after having gone through some experiential learning.

we all need healthy environments to feel good about ourselves and everything we have in our lives, hence the importance of the people in our environment.

and just think about it for a moment, this is just one aspect of what one person has gathered from your seventh house, which is practically the smallest house in your chart.
life has alot to offer you and you have learned alot of lessons at such young age which means you are more empowered to deal with everything life has in account for you.

As for your concerns about whether or not your life will be easier, it will be. Not just because Jupiter is going to join your sixth house stellium in a few years and enrich your communications(mercury), your self(sun), your ability to revitalize, revolutionize or rebuild yourself (Uranus, since its next to sun), or your connection with your inner soul(Neptune), and also not because pluto has already given you the opportunity to restart a lot of things that it has touched in the last couple of years, but because you are making the effort to understand what went wrong and how to go about fixing it.

Good luck
 

Maksus

New member
I have same chart as you. I have cancer asc with moon in aries square saturn in 7 house. I realy wanna suicide too. Its not life. Its fear and loneliness and no way to escape. Pm me, maybe we discuss something.
 
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