I am 27 and have never been in a relationship...

Govind

Well-known member
I'm almost 28 years old and I have never been in a relationship. I have a successful career, have a decent social circle (including quite a few girls), I go out quite a bit, but I just haven't been able to find someone to have a relationship with. I've been out on a few dates over the years but it rarely ever goes beyond that.

A lot of people call me funny (I do stand up comedy) and charismatic but I am just not able to find a girl to have a relationship with. There seems to be something blocking me.

So my question is, will I ever be in a committed relationship? If so, when?

Based on my basic knowledge I see I have:
- Uranus and Saturn are sitting on my ASC and opposing my DESC. This means I usually like what is not available to me?
- Sun square saturn which shows some delays in relationship. Question is how long will it take?

Any help would be much appreciated.
 

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ashriia

Well-known member
- Sun square saturn which shows some delays in relationship.

Hi.
Sun square to saturn doesn't mean delays in relationships.

That is more a characteristic of Saturn/Venus or Saturn in the 7th.



What do you feel is preventing you from having a relationship?
 

Govind

Well-known member
That's a good question. I think it could be a few reasons:
- I was very socially awkward in my teenage years, so I missed out on the dating scene then.
- In my 20s i have had very high standards, all the girls that I have been interested in have been in relationships
- The longer I have gone without being in a relationship the more shame I feel and the more i retreat into my shell
- I have gone on dates but nothing has ever come of it.

What I am wondering is if there is something in my chart that shows the problem and if it will ever change?
 

animatedoodle

Well-known member
sun square Saturn means you overthink too much about your status and standards. Relax, just have fun. Love is about having fun and letting go, and I'm sure once you let that side of you go you will be attract a lot more girls who are intrigued by your very interesting energy!
 

ashriia

Well-known member
Hi again,

I don't see a blockage in your chart in relation to relationships other than perhaps chiron being in cancer in your natal 7th house. And your t-square. But that is not something that will prevent relationships. That is one heck of a tight square you have between pluto and your moon too! I am wondering if early on there was issues with women in childhood, and perhaps that is causing an emotional blockage when you have romantic opportunities, as that would go back to chiron in the 7th. Just a thought.

Anyway when you do find someone, she will likely be someone you have known in many previous lifetimes. You might also have very particular taste in features, there will be something familiar about everyone that you become involved with. As you are likely to be looking for something specific that reminds you of the past.

I am sure a relationships will come, and that they will be highly plutonian in nature. Your relationship house rulers are also involved in the t-square, moon/venus involvement -and then venus in the home of pluto. There is going to be major themes of transformation through love, for sure.

hope that helps.
 

Govind

Well-known member
Hi again,

I don't see a blockage in your chart in relation to relationships other than perhaps chiron being in cancer in your natal 7th house. And your t-square. But that is not something that will prevent relationships. That is one heck of a tight square you have between pluto and your moon too! I am wondering if early on there was issues with women in childhood, and perhaps that is causing an emotional blockage when you have romantic opportunities, as that would go back to chiron in the 7th. Just a thought.

Anyway when you do find someone, she will likely be someone you have known in many previous lifetimes. You might also have very particular taste in features, there will be something familiar about everyone that you become involved with. As you are likely to be looking for something specific that reminds you of the past.

I am sure a relationships will come, and that they will be highly plutonian in nature. Your relationship house rulers are also involved in the t-square, moon/venus involvement -and then venus in the home of pluto. There is going to be major themes of transformation through love, for sure.

hope that helps.

Thanks for the detailed response.

Plutonian relationships are usually obsessive in nature and usually don't end well right? Will be interesting to see when these relationships start happening as I said I'm almost 28 and have never been in one yet.
 

fifteen

Well-known member
Some nice synchronicity today :joyful:

You are also having a nodal transit, but this time a nodal transit over your midheaven. The node is now close to your midheaven, and slowly waking you up to your true calling.

Are you doing what you want? because... when you truly do what you want (or destined to do) then often, you also find someone who will be on that same path. The time is right, but you might want to change space. (location). This can mean many things: going back to old friends, towns, or places you once visited and enjoyed. Think about what you miss, do you miss a place? town? friends? a group? maybe this node wants you to go back, and when you do you will know it because it feel feel right, and you'll meet the people who you should meet. Sounds vague maybe, but that's what I'm getting.
 
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ashriia

Well-known member
Plutonian relationships are usually obsessive in nature and usually don't end well right? Will be interesting to see when these relationships start happening as I said I'm almost 28 and have never been in one yet.

They can be obsessive, there can be jealousy, yes. But they can also be highly transforming at a soul level. Plutonian relationships can change you either for the better or worse. There is this element of death/rebirth in them. It's not always negative though. And these type of relationships have nothing to due with permanence - that is up to the individuals involved.

Pluto aspects my venus, and I also have pluto on the cusp of my 5th house.
So I've had my share of these types of relationships. Both negative and the dreamy kind. So it's up to you really with how it plays out. Either way you learn a great deal about yourself.
 

Govind

Well-known member
They can be obsessive, there can be jealousy, yes. But they can also be highly transforming at a soul level. Plutonian relationships can change you either for the better or worse. There is this element of death/rebirth in them. It's not always negative though. And these type of relationships have nothing to due with permanence - that is up to the individuals involved.

Pluto aspects my venus, and I also have pluto on the cusp of my 5th house.
So I've had my share of these types of relationships. Both negative and the dreamy kind. So it's up to you really with how it plays out. Either way you learn a great deal about yourself.

Thanks again for your help.

Well let's hope it happens soon. Again, I'm 28 and I have barely even dated anyone before.
 

theV

Well-known member
Maybe because you are someone who likes space and freedom and find it hard to commit to someone, Uranus rising and sun/mars and uranus square sun. Plus the moon rules the seventh house and it is in Aquarius- sign of eccentricity, detachment, aloofness, independence, robotic/intelligence. Aquarius always need their space to invent, to discover. They are also ruled by Saturn which make them bit emotionally cold. Even you have Pluto/Venus. These people are not like Jupiter/Venus, jumping from one to another. Pluto/Venus looks for the right one. They are looking for deep connection, not a passing one, and that takes time.
 

santama

Well-known member
Hi,
it is also your ascendant capricorn (+ sun in reserved virgo). I have also ascendant capricorn and for me it was also very very hard to get into a relationship. we are just so reserved sometimes, or, well, we are actually not,but we seem like that and people cannot read us.
Now, that I have a partner I know that because he also told me how I seemed in the beginning.
We are trying to control ourselves and we often do not want to seem very emotional, but when it comes to love you have to open up a bit. Even if you have that feeling that it's "too much", it's not! I've learned that with the years by watching how other people do it and also just trying out different ways.
Just show what you feel! And I think a lot of ladies love capricorn gentlemen who aren't "in ya face" but very subtle with their approaches.

There could be a lot of more indicators in your chart. For example also your venus in eighth house. My boyfriend has this position, too (and I have mars in 8th house) and he also was very late with me, being his first girlfriend and he, being my first boyfriend. It is the plutonian energy of the house that searches deep connections and not just flirtyflirty. Also with a pluto-venus square it is very hard sometimes ( I have venus opposite pluto), you love passionately like all or nothing and often you love people who do not love you with the same intensity as you do or not at all. And those are the wrong people!

We have some few similar positions in our chart so I know what you are talking about.
So, 1. it is important that you open up, 2. love the people who are good to you and not those who treat you bad and 3. don't try too hard, be always yourself and don't underestimate yourself. Love comes to those who give love.

All the best !
santama
 

Govind

Well-known member
Checking the archives, I notice that about every six months you come back here and ask the same question, and that you've been doing it for more than 6 years.

I'm wondering what new information you expect to gain by each time asking the same question?

I also note that in 2013 you mentioned a very severe problem with dysfluency in speech, particularly when you need to speak with the opposite sex. I'm wondering if that is still the case or whether you overcame that?

Bit of an exaggeration but I get your point.

I've been lonely all my life and I keep wondering why that is. At a certain point you wonder if you are going to be alone for the rest of your life. That is a thought that makes me feel very depressed at times and I start wondering what is wrong with me. I guess I come on this site once in a while to get some reassurance, some further insight into what is causing my problems and when if ever I will meet someone.

My dysfluency is no longer an issue. I have worked on my self confidence and have slowly built a strong self esteem from building personal achievements and pushing out my comfort zones (eg. trying stand up comedy).
 

katydid

Well-known member
Bit of an exaggeration but I get your point.

I've been lonely all my life and I keep wondering why that is. At a certain point you wonder if you are going to be alone for the rest of your life. That is a thought that makes me feel very depressed at times and I start wondering what is wrong with me. I guess I come on this site once in a while to get some reassurance, some further insight into what is causing my problems and when if ever I will meet someone.

My dysfluency is no longer an issue. I have worked on my self confidence and have slowly built a strong self esteem from building personal achievements and pushing out my comfort zones (eg. trying stand up comedy).

It sounds like you are making progress. Your strong Earth energy, with the Capricorn and Virgo influence seems to be working it's persistence and plodding strength. I don't see anything that is preventing you from establishing a romantic relationship. It may be a matter of 'learning' how to date effectively and successfully.

Have you ever considered counseling as a way to get some feedback in how you communicate and how you try to establish emotional interactions/connections. It is hard for Capricorn/Virgos and or Chiron in Cancers to establish intimacy sometimes because it might feel awkward at first.

Also, I wonder if you sometimes set your sights on impossible 'candidates.' For example, become obsessed with very beautiful women as opposed to starting by asking out women who might be more amenable to going on a date with you?:wink:
 

Bunraku

Well-known member
How high are your standards?
What are you doing to obtain women?
Where are you living currently? If it’s India, then I’m not familiar with their cultural attitudes of dating, but you can walk us through it. I’d imagine social rank is important to you, then?

Walk us through the process...
 

Govind

Well-known member
How high are your standards?
What are you doing to obtain women?
Where are you living currently? If it’s India, then I’m not familiar with their cultural attitudes of dating, but you can walk us through it. I’d imagine social rank is important to you, then?

Walk us through the process...


I was born in India but have grown up overseas in the western culture. My parents are quite traditional and that has probably hindered my ability to get a girlfriend but I dont want to blame them. I have had plenty of opportunities over the years but I have not taken them.

My problems stem from the fact that when I was younger I had social anxiety and speech problems. It took me until my mid 20s to get over that. Over the last 5 years or so I have really come out of my shell. I just for whatever reason can't meet a girl that I want to be in a relationship with. I have gone out on several dates but I just don't feel the connection. I think I am quite picky but the bigger issue is that I feel that there is something blocking me. I dont know what that is.

People all around me at my age are getting in serious relationships or getting married. I on the other hand can't even get a girlfriend. It is frustrating.

Am I scared of commitment? Am I just unlucky that I haven't met anybody I have a connection with yet? Probably both.

The astrological analysis already in this thread has been really helpful. Definitely provides some insight into my problems. Maybe I'll just have to wait a few more years or maybe even more. Because the answers in this thread indicate that I will meet somebody at least eventually. The question is when.
 
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