I'm 20 years old and I feel completely lost in Life, Please Read my Chart

m 20 years old and I feel completely lost in Life, Please Read my Chart

EDIT AS OF 5-3-19: It is now confirmed that I am a Pisces rising. Someone personally checked my chart, comparing it to dates I gave them that shows great significance in my life. I am not an Aries rising.

Okay, I understand people will automatically assume the advice here is "Oh youre still young, trust me you have enough time"

Ok well that's not me. I need to get going on what I need to do :-( Today has just been a very mellow, emotional day. I have positive transits on my moon right now but I feel very down?? I have no desire to socialize or communicate with anyone.

I dropped out of UC Merced back in at the beginning of last year and went back to my community college. Ever since then, I feel like I've been on a long term mission on growth and evolution on my soul. I'm in a totally different space, I've been embracing it ever since. I started attending UC Merced in the fall of 2017, so I was only enrolled for a semester. I've always regarded my departure as strange. I didn't really want to leave but I FELT like I needed to. My relationship with my family was terrible. I felt like I needed to go back home to fix things. My mom kinda pushed my away from home, but when I was away, she always guilt tripped me for not trying to communicate as much with her.

I feel like my parents don't care about me, I feel like I can't trust my family. The atmosphere here at home has definitely gotten better though! Thank god. I'm always trying my best to keep things straight but I simply can't. Thing's always fall apart. I know that my parents think that I'm a failure, I know they think I'm incapable of a lot. And it hurts my heart but overtime, I've learned to become somewhat detached and I feel like that's now the major issue. But there isn't any other OPTION for me, I feel. It's either that or I will go insane and potentially want to kill myself. I feel like I'm stuck in a box. I wanted to leave off to college to help myself grow and be on my own in an environment that I would want to live in this year, but I got rejected from all six schools I applied to.
I feel even worse now. I feel absolutely terrible.

I'm currently just overwhelmed, I have no one I can 100% trust. I feel like I'm always the one in a friendship or relationship who gets betrayed. And by the way, when I say the words "I Feel like", it's really me just saying that it's happened multiple times before.
I feel so burdened by the type of people I meet, the situations I'm placed in. This is literally the one time in a long time that I'm spilling out my emotions because I never do. I have no clue what to do. I feel like my family is the one thing holding me back in this life.

Can somebody look through my chart and tell me anything that will make sense? Sorry for the long description, I needed to let a lot out.

Should I get a tarot card reading?? Is my family really a problem or is it me? And honestly, I'm fine with reading any bit of information.

15513_reply_15513__68.jpg
 
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JUPITERASC

Well-known member
Okay, I understand people will automatically assume the advice here is "Oh youre still young, trust me you have enough time"

Ok well that's not me. I need to get going on what I need to do :-( Today has just been a very mellow, emotional day. I have positive transits on my moon right now but I feel very down?? I have no desire to socialize or communicate with anyone.

I dropped out of UC Merced back in at the beginning of last year and went back to my community college. Ever since then, I feel like I've been on a long term mission on growth and evolution on my soul. I'm in a totally different space, I've been embracing it ever since. I started attending UC Merced in the fall of 2017, so I was only enrolled for a semester. I've always regarded my departure as strange. I didn't really want to leave but I FELT like I needed to. My relationship with my family was terrible. I felt like I needed to go back home to fix things. My mom kinda pushed my away from home, but when I was away, she always guilt tripped me for not trying to communicate as much with her.

I feel like my parents don't care about me, I feel like I can't trust my family. The atmosphere here at home has definitely gotten better though! Thank god. I'm always trying my best to keep things straight but I simply can't. Thing's always fall apart. I know that my parents think that I'm a failure, I know they think I'm incapable of a lot. And it hurts my heart but overtime, I've learned to become somewhat detached and I feel like that's now the major issue. But there isn't any other OPTION for me, I feel. It's either that or I will go insane and potentially want to kill myself. I feel like I'm stuck in a box. I wanted to leave off to college to help myself grow and be on my own in an environment that I would want to live in this year, but I got rejected from all six schools I applied to.
I feel even worse now. I feel absolutely terrible.

I'm currently just overwhelmed, I have no one I can 100% trust. I feel like I'm always the one in a friendship or relationship who gets betrayed. And by the way, when I say the words "I Feel like", it's really me just saying that it's happened multiple times before.
I feel so burdened by the type of people I meet, the situations I'm placed in. This is literally the one time in a long time that I'm spilling out my emotions because I never do. I have no clue what to do. I feel like my family is the one thing holding me back in this life.

Can somebody look through my chart and tell me anything that will make sense? Sorry for the long description, I needed to let a lot out.

Should I get a tarot card reading?? Is my family really a problem or is it me? And honestly, I'm fine with reading any bit of information.

15513_reply_15513__68.jpg
the reliability of the time of birth requires checking

because
ascendant degree changes every four minutes to the next degree
and so
if birth occurred a matter of literally seconds earlier :smile:

than the time stated
then
ascendant would have been Pisces
 
the reliability of the time of birth requires checking

because
ascendant degree changes every four minutes to the next degree
and so
if birth occurred a matter of literally seconds earlier :smile:

than the time stated
then
ascendant would have been Pisces

Yeah! That's always been an issue :-/ My birth certificate says 6:10AM actually, but I put 6:11AM because I think I come off more as an Aries Rising Sun?

Is there any way to check this?
 

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
Last edited:

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
timing of this chart
decides whether it is a Night Chart or a Day Chart


If Pisces is Ascendant
then chart is definitely a Night Chart
and nocturnal planets are of the Sect in favor
Moon is sect leader and Venus and Mars are co-sectarians
"It's a good thing" for any planet that is of the sect in favor

If a planet is not of the sect in favor
then
it is the wrong time of day for the planet :smile:

Saturn and Jupiter are not of the sect in favor in NIGHT charts
and Venus and Mars are not of the sect in favor in DAY charts.

Mercury as a morning star makes it a diurnal planet
so Mercury is not of the sect in favor in a NIGHT chart
and in this chart, Mercury is a morning star in a nocturnal chart
and so Mercury is not of the sect in favor
THUS
because the chart is a night chart

then the nocturnal sect is in favour
and the Moon is the sect leader
and Venus and Mars are of the sect in favour:
and because Mercury is a morning star, Mercury is diurnal
and not of the sect in favor


REGARDING THE HORIZON:
The diurnal planets are happier
if they are above the horizon in a day chart
and below it in a night chart.
Likewise, the nocturnal planets are happier
if they are above the horizon in a night chart
and below it in a day chart.
This is not really a condition of sect
—it does not define sect in any way.
This is only a way to further determine the strength
or mood of any particular planet.
And it’s only adding or subtracting mildly from the planet.


So for example:
In a diurnal chart the Sun is the sect light (the leader of the sect),
and Jupiter and Saturn are the planets of the Sect.
If Jupiter and Saturn are above the horizon they are happy.
BUT
If below the horizon in the diurnal chart
Jupiter and Saturn are still of the diurnal sect
—they are still of the sect in favour
—but they are not going to be as happy.
And in the same chart if Venus is below the horizon
although she is not of the sect in favour
Venus is happier, in this diurnal chart
than she would be if she was above the horizon.

 

waybread

Well-known member
SP, welcome to the forum.

Good for you that you tried to build some bridges with your family. And sometimes trying is all you can do. Family members can have all kinds of issues, but no clear idea as to how to sort them out.

If you know some astrology (and/or would like to learn more) I suggest that you construct their charts, and then try to compare yours with theirs. This way you can gain some understanding of the problems they face in life, and where are the trouble spots between you.

My relationship with my mother was pretty dysfunctional. I felt that I couldn't please her. After she died and I learned some astrology, I developed a lot of compassion for her, because I could just see some of the inner demons with which she struggled. You might find something similar.

I don't like to conflate planets, signs, and houses by-the-numbers, because they have distinctive meanings. But sometimes these come together, as they do in your chart. I think you are a strong 9th chord (or 9th key) person. (Jupiter, 9th house, Sagittarius, Pisces (traditionally ruled by Jupiter.)

I think you are being asked to develop a strong sense of faith (whether or not it is conventionally religious) and to inquire into the "big picture" questions.

1.Sun (identity) conjunct Jupiter in the first house.

2. These trine Pluto in Sagittarius in the 9th house of activities that expand our minds, such as travel, philosophy, theology, higher education, and literature of enduring value.

3. Mercury in Pisces.

4. Chiron in the 9th in Sagittarius. Chiron is a little planetoid that shows us "where it hurts," but where-- if we stay open to what hurts us-- we gain in wisdom and compassion for other people.

Your 8th house Scorpio Mars wants to probe deeply into life's mysteries. Mars is the planet of the surgeon, whether the MD or the cosmic surgeon who sees the problems of the planet and longs to heal them.

What did you enjoy studying at UC Merced? Had you thought of a career in psychology, counseling, English literature, philosophy, or religious studies? Some of these would require graduate degrees and even many hours of clinical practice, but I think you'd enjoy opening up people's minds to their human potential.

With Venus in Taurus in the 2nd house, I wonder if you have musical ability.

These aren't actually answers. But I hope they suggest a good direction for questions.
 
timing of this chart
decides whether it is a Night Chart or a Day Chart


If Pisces is Ascendant
then chart is definitely a Night Chart
and nocturnal planets are of the Sect in favor
Moon is sect leader and Venus and Mars are co-sectarians
"It's a good thing" for any planet that is of the sect in favor

If a planet is not of the sect in favor
then
it is the wrong time of day for the planet :smile:

Saturn and Jupiter are not of the sect in favor in NIGHT charts
and Venus and Mars are not of the sect in favor in DAY charts.

Mercury as a morning star makes it a diurnal planet
so Mercury is not of the sect in favor in a NIGHT chart
and in this chart, Mercury is a morning star in a nocturnal chart
and so Mercury is not of the sect in favor
THUS
because the chart is a night chart

then the nocturnal sect is in favour
and the Moon is the sect leader
and Venus and Mars are of the sect in favour:
and because Mercury is a morning star, Mercury is diurnal
and not of the sect in favor


REGARDING THE HORIZON:
The diurnal planets are happier
if they are above the horizon in a day chart
and below it in a night chart.
Likewise, the nocturnal planets are happier
if they are above the horizon in a night chart
and below it in a day chart.
This is not really a condition of sect
—it does not define sect in any way.
This is only a way to further determine the strength
or mood of any particular planet.
And it’s only adding or subtracting mildly from the planet.


So for example:
In a diurnal chart the Sun is the sect light (the leader of the sect),
and Jupiter and Saturn are the planets of the Sect.
If Jupiter and Saturn are above the horizon they are happy.
BUT
If below the horizon in the diurnal chart
Jupiter and Saturn are still of the diurnal sect
—they are still of the sect in favour
—but they are not going to be as happy.
And in the same chart if Venus is below the horizon
although she is not of the sect in favour
Venus is happier, in this diurnal chart
than she would be if she was above the horizon.


So I gave someone my birth time and birth location along with a series of dates in order to figure out my true Rising Sign.
They concluced that I'm an Aries Rising!
 
SP, welcome to the forum.

Good for you that you tried to build some bridges with your family. And sometimes trying is all you can do. Family members can have all kinds of issues, but no clear idea as to how to sort them out.

If you know some astrology (and/or would like to learn more) I suggest that you construct their charts, and then try to compare yours with theirs. This way you can gain some understanding of the problems they face in life, and where are the trouble spots between you.

My relationship with my mother was pretty dysfunctional. I felt that I couldn't please her. After she died and I learned some astrology, I developed a lot of compassion for her, because I could just see some of the inner demons with which she struggled. You might find something similar.

I don't like to conflate planets, signs, and houses by-the-numbers, because they have distinctive meanings. But sometimes these come together, as they do in your chart. I think you are a strong 9th chord (or 9th key) person. (Jupiter, 9th house, Sagittarius, Pisces (traditionally ruled by Jupiter.)

I think you are being asked to develop a strong sense of faith (whether or not it is conventionally religious) and to inquire into the "big picture" questions.

1.Sun (identity) conjunct Jupiter in the first house.

2. These trine Pluto in Sagittarius in the 9th house of activities that expand our minds, such as travel, philosophy, theology, higher education, and literature of enduring value.

3. Mercury in Pisces.

4. Chiron in the 9th in Sagittarius. Chiron is a little planetoid that shows us "where it hurts," but where-- if we stay open to what hurts us-- we gain in wisdom and compassion for other people.

Your 8th house Scorpio Mars wants to probe deeply into life's mysteries. Mars is the planet of the surgeon, whether the MD or the cosmic surgeon who sees the problems of the planet and longs to heal them.

What did you enjoy studying at UC Merced? Had you thought of a career in psychology, counseling, English literature, philosophy, or religious studies? Some of these would require graduate degrees and even many hours of clinical practice, but I think you'd enjoy opening up people's minds to their human potential.

With Venus in Taurus in the 2nd house, I wonder if you have musical ability.

These aren't actually answers. But I hope they suggest a good direction for questions.

Unfortunately I dont have the official birthtimes of my parents so that's not possible :-(

At UC Merced, I was only taking biology, chemistry, Afro-American History, and Calculus. The class I enjoyed the most in there was Chemistry. However, I feel like I've completely changed since then. I am currently taking Microbiology at my community college. This class is all about cells and microscopic THINGS. I typically would find it boring but as of recently, it's been interesting! I fee its because now I'm more involved? Im not sure

As for the list of possible fields of study I may like that you listed, Psychology has always been a major to consider! But to be honest, it's hard for me to listen to just anybody's rant about how their mind works or life has evolved. Unless it's a close friend, I don't have the patience. However, knowing how someone's mind works in order to figure another problem out would be more interesting.

As for musical talent, yes actually!! At 18 years old, I literally just deciced to make an album. I made an album with 21 songs!!! I was amazed at how much energy I had inside of me to make 21 songs! An hour and 7 minutes of music. However, lately, it's been very difficult to let out my emotions. I get writer's block doinh it. However, for me, music is more than anything therapeutic for me. I've been told I'm not bad for a beginner :)
 

waybread

Well-known member
A big wahoo to you on your album. Are you able to link one of your songs? (Just curious.)

Ideally you'd have your parents' birth times, but you can cast their charts without them. Just input the birth times as "unknown." You will get charts without houses, but we can still see planets in signs and aspects-- notably in relation to your chart.

You may discover major points of tension-- or simply few points of contact such that you actually do not share much in common. The positive points of contact would then be something to develop.

Just a suggestion, but you might think of a two-pronged approach to your education and career. (1) Music. Even if you're focused on some cutting-edge form, you'd probably still learn a lot from music theory & composition. (2) Microbiology or perhaps biochemistry. Many possibilities here, and a lot of aspiring musicians and composers need a day job until they get established. (3) music therapy, to pull in your interest in psychology.
 
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