Getting burned out on this forum

ashriia

Well-known member
Is it just my perception that has changed, or are people that are posting on this forum more obsessive and volatile than last year?

I love this forum, as I have learned so much. But I feel exhausted after reading a lot of these posts, even if I am not posting. Seems like a lot of people are just obsessed with everyone and/or feeling super aggressive. Even some astrologers are being aggressive and talking down to people that are seeking to understand astrology and learn astrology and are a making sincere effort.

maybe I need a break.

does this happen to anyone else? and what do you do about it?
 

Zarathu

Account Closed
Is it just my perception that has changed, or are people that are posting on this forum more obsessive and volatile than last year?

I love this forum, as I have learned so much. But I feel exhausted after reading a lot of these posts, even if I am not posting. Seems like a lot of people are just obsessed with everyone and/or feeling super aggressive. Even some astrologers are being aggressive and talking down to people that are seeking to understand astrology and learn astrology and are a making sincere effort.

maybe I need a break.

does this happen to anyone else? and what do you do about it?

You really expect that those of us who post a lot are going to answer that? I myself have had OPD for years. That would be Obnoxious Personality Disorder. :whistling: The DSM5 has failed to recognize this, but those of us afflicted sure know that it exists. :cool:
 

ashriia

Well-known member
You really expect that those of us who post a lot are going to answer that?


sure, why not?:sideways:

being obnoxious is one thing, being just mean is quite another. I can handle obnoxious, plenty of that in the ny metro area, hah!

But I think it's always good to remember that at one time every astrologer was a novice, and had novice type questions. No need to be dismissive or rude to anyone because they are just starting out and I've been coming across that a lot lately.

But my question is really how others handle this, if it is for them a problem as well.

because I am curious.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Internet forums usually require a thick skin. If someone indulges in personal attacks, please report him/her to the mods. An occasional detox break is not a bad idea.
 

Flowergirl

Well-known member
I have been on this forum for many years and I have come and gone because of the things you talk off. I've been angry, livid, disappointed and possibly the full spectrum of emotions. In the end it helps to remind yourself that astrologers are... well... Uranian.

Although everyone will be happier if there were less people 'talking others down', it is what it is. Perhaps as collective energy shifts and people's hearts open more, we will hopefully see less of the ugliness... although it sometimes feel like we are seeing more. :whistling:
 

Moog

Well-known member
It seems like there's more snippery and snipery and less, 'hey let's explore (the many different branches of) astrology together'.

That's basically why I don't really read anything here anymore.

Also I think this place was turning me into a bit of a dick, and I didn't like that. But that's my responsibility.
 

tsmall

Premium Member
sure, why not?:sideways:

being obnoxious is one thing, being just mean is quite another. I can handle obnoxious, plenty of that in the ny metro area, hah!

But I think it's always good to remember that at one time every astrologer was a novice, and had novice type questions. No need to be dismissive or rude to anyone because they are just starting out and I've been coming across that a lot lately.

But my question is really how others handle this, if it is for them a problem as well.

because I am curious.

ashriia, I'm just curious about what prompted your question. waybread was right, when you participate in an internet forum you need to grow a thick skin, and especially when you participate in an internet forum of astrologers. I notice that you joined in September of 2011, just about two months after I did. Perhaps you missed some of the vitriol that was happening around that time?

As an active member of this forum for almost two years now, I've seen my fair share of what could be considered "meanness" and at the same time, I've seen my fair share of complaints by older members about read my chart requests from new members who only want a free reading they don't want to pay a professional astrologer for. I've also, though I try to be fair to all types of astrology, been the vicitm of personal attacks because my beliefs or choice of astrological methods **** someone off. I've even made a few threads about how it's not a bad idea for everyone to try to remember that there are many branches of astrology, and we should all at the very least try to play nice in the sandbox together.

At the end of the day, before I judge any member here, I try to look to the heart of their posts. Yes, there are those of us (and I count myself as one, even though I choose not to participate in all the arguments to which I am invited) who are determined in one direction or the other and get seriously irritated when the craft is taken lightly, or when someone dismisses a technique out of hand because they don't want to explore it fully, or because it didn't originate in the 20th century...I've been both praised and personally attacked for the astrology I choose to persue.

Some of the people most complained about? Well, I've no insight into the complaints, but...I can guarantee that they are among the people who care the most about...people. Each of us expresses our care as astrologers, councilors, helpers, in a different way. If there is a specific member who irritates me (and yeah, there are more than several) I just simply...don't respond. Because my job isn't to change people's minds. It's to learn the best I can, and help those that I can.

So how do I handle it? I don't. I just...move on. And I have to say, as a traditional astrologer on a decidely modern forum...some of the best supporters I've found here are...not traditional. Because they see the heart.

Look for the funny, remember we are all human, and above all, don't take it personally.
 

Neptune Rising

Well-known member
I find it useful to just think, what do I see in others, why do I react the way that I do, what am I projecting out... We react to others quite often because of something inside of us.
 

Zonark

Well-known member
Am I the only one who thinks the forums are less abrasive than they were a year ago?

It is all a matter of perception I suppose :joyful:

Maybe like Waybread is saying my skin just got thicker.
 

Zarathu

Account Closed
I used to run a forum that a number of you all in different names used to be on. Tim told me he was on it. It was back in 2003-2006. I got burned out with dealing with people who believed that the way to argue a point was not with data but with insults.

I had a very very thin skin and if anyone even looked like they were insulting a person or a group of people, even public figures, I would remove their entire post. But since I didn't encourage a "Read My Chart For Free and Spend hours at it for people who don't give a cr@p" section, it was limited to astrologers who wanted to learn something or for those who already knew a lot and wanted to share.

But I took it personally when they effectively came into my living room, that I was paying for every month free to everyone, and were just plain mean and insulting. They claimed it was their constitutional right.

I finally gave up, and didn't even do any astrology for about 3 years after that.

It was called the Zarathu Astrology Forum.

Z

p.s.: I was kidding about the OPD. Its a private joke. There is no such thing as OPD.

p.s.s.: I know why it appeared that there was an up take in insulting behavior recently, and most everybody knows why, we just can't say it out loud. Members and moderators are aware of it.
 

waybread

Well-known member
Also, one person's insult is oftentimes another person's straight talk. OK, a deliberate insult has to be read as such (and I've gotten my share,) but if astrology means anything, we learn how different signs tend to give and take communication. A Pisces moon might be oh-so-sensitive to the merest hint of an unintended slight, but a firey Aries-Sagittarius person might think her double-barrel communication was only honest, so why hide it?

The world is full of not-nice people, people with bad days, and so on. Astrologers need to know as much about human nature as they do about astrological technique.
 

ashriia

Well-known member
interesting how everyone is dealing with this in a different way.

Moog's comment definitely the most amusing.

I hear the develop thick skin a lot thing in my life. Or "just forget about it". But I am not interested in becoming an armadillo.

NeptuneRising, I'm defensive by nature.. I was told when I got my professional consultation, that I should work on being less defensive so I don't end up shutting everyone out. that's why the armadillo thing won't work don't want to end up mad at the world and too tough to give a ****.

Anyhoo.. I have my sun in the 11th, so collective sharing and a sense of "real" community are things, I believe in. I really enjoy this forum, because when astrologers actually are all working collectively and in a positive manner to help someone out, it's really quite something.


& flowergirl, I really like trying to keep in mind that all astrologers are uranian, that does help keep things in perspective. I think that is the problem for me - feeling disappointed, even sort of let down. It's silly actually, since this is just a forum - it's not even the real world. But since I don't know astrologers in my everyday life and most think I am a weirdo anyhow, I come here seeking a community of likemindedness, where I can be myself, then when you start reading all the insults and bickering it's disappointing. It's probably like that for a great many members here I imagine.

but detox seems the way to go. hopefully I will be able to do it. just not today. hahah. :lol:
 

ashriia

Well-known member
Also, one person's insult is oftentimes another person's straight talk. OK, a deliberate insult has to be read as such (and I've gotten my share,) but if astrology means anything, we learn how different signs tend to give and take communication. A Pisces moon might be oh-so-sensitive to the merest hint of an unintended slight, but a firey Aries-Sagittarius person might think her double-barrel communication was only honest, so why hide it?

The world is full of not-nice people, people with bad days, and so on. Astrologers need to know as much about human nature as they do about astrological technique.


Yep, definitely get what you are saying here. I do see the positive in learning about how the different signs work in terms of communication.

But tact is still important, just because the world is full of not nice people isn't any reason to join them. .
 

waybread

Well-known member
I also participate on the Astrodienst forum, which is not heavily moderated for personal attacks. I used to take these to heart, until I had a "get a grip" moment.
Seriously. We are all a bunch of strangers, living in different parts of the world. I have never met anyone from either forum in person. The posters wouldn't know me if they (literally) ran into me in the street. What angry posters respond to are words that confront their beliefs-- they never see the poster in person.

I think it's a bit different for members who do post their real names and contact information, but I wouldn't do that for privacy reasons.

So how can we anonymous members take offensive posts personally? They aren't personal. Just cultivate some detachment. Thank God, I'm an Aquarian.
 

Zarathu

Account Closed
I also participate on the Astrodienst forum, which is not heavily moderated for personal attacks. I used to take these to heart, until I had a "get a grip" moment.
Seriously. We are all a bunch of strangers, living in different parts of the world. I have never met anyone from either forum in person. The posters wouldn't know me if they (literally) ran into me in the street. What angry posters respond to are words that confront their beliefs-- they never see the poster in person.

I think it's a bit different for members who do post their real names and contact information, but I wouldn't do that for privacy reasons.

So how can we anonymous members take offensive posts personally? They aren't personal. Just cultivate some detachment. Thank God, I'm an Aquarian.

This works if you are a totally anonymous dude. However, if you have a recognized presence online as an astrologer, as I do, then very vicious trolls on Astrodienst can search you out, and make very serious threat to you personally. Management there simply doesn't care.

On all forums except this one I am totally anonymous. On this one, my website is readily available, and my name and position as an astrologer since the web has started is quite visible.

If people want to find out about me its not hard. Personally I believe that is important in astrology since we are do something very serious for people. The people need to know if you are for real or just a really precocious 12 years old girl.
 
M

may28gemini

I also participate on the Astrodienst forum, which is not heavily moderated for personal attacks. I used to take these to heart, until I had a "get a grip" moment.
Seriously. We are all a bunch of strangers, living in different parts of the world. I have never met anyone from either forum in person. The posters wouldn't know me if they (literally) ran into me in the street. What angry posters respond to are words that confront their beliefs-- they never see the poster in person.

I think it's a bit different for members who do post their real names and contact information, but I wouldn't do that for privacy reasons.

So how can we anonymous members take offensive posts personally? They aren't personal. Just cultivate some detachment. Thank God, I'm an Aquarian.

Aquarians aren't the only ones well versed in detachment! Geminis are quite adept in that art :innocent:

waybread said:
Also, one person's insult is oftentimes another person's straight talk. OK, a deliberate insult has to be read as such (and I've gotten my share,) but if astrology means anything, we learn how different signs tend to give and take communication. A Pisces moon might be oh-so-sensitive to the merest hint of an unintended slight, but a firey Aries-Sagittarius person might think her double-barrel communication was only honest, so why hide it?

The world is full of not-nice people, people with bad days, and so on. Astrologers need to know as much about human nature as they do about astrological technique.

hahaha I'm a Pisces Moon and I'm probably one of the more straight shooters on here. I think Cancer is WAAAYYYYY more sensitive than Pisces Moon.



It's actually been my opinion that people on here aren't "snippy" but more stingy- as in they want to get a ton of information on their charts so they can learn about themselves or about some guy they have an infatuation with at the expense of others' times and generosity. The worst ones are the those who have the "woe is me" attitude and keeps asking the same ole repetitive "what's in my chart that causes me to be this way?" Most of the time I want to smack people like that and tell them, "you made yourself this way so start taking responsibility for yourself!" Usually those people know very little to nothing about astrology and they're very young (under 30).

UGH this isn't a place to entertain whiny babies but to discuss astrology and possibly learn a thing or two. Disagreements are bound to happen, but so what? If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

People are very attached to how they process information. Some people process information in the most literal and concrete sort of way, some process information in a looser and more liberal interpretation. There's bound to be arguments over everything and I don't have any problems with that but I have noticed more people and more people complain about it.

Taking things personally from what a bunch of strangers type on a screen is completely irrational and most of all, impractical. It serves no purpose in the long run other than to cultivate misanthropic tendencies.

I don't really care about arguments on here and if people want to argue, why not? Just have it out and eventually it will die off. Arguments will happen anyway because this is a forum and the realm of ideas are being exchanged. Thick skin for online forums is a must, just as having thick skin in real life to survive (and thrive) is necessary.

Accept that you won't always agree and get along with everyone and that others won't always agree and get along with you, either. Do what you have to do. Take a break here and there. Go to other forums. Etc. You're responsible for how you feel and you're in charge of controlling yourself. Blaming others for "causing" you some sort of emotional reaction is not going to make anything better.

This is the part where I say, thank the stars and planets that I'm Saturnine!
 
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StillOne

Well-known member
I had to take a break for a bit due to being burned out. I think part of the problem is that you tend to see the same type of threads over and over and that gets frustrating. Also, you just can't help everyone as it just takes too much time. Plus, I'm not that good of an astrologer... actually I'm just a beginner and know very little.

However, after a bit of time off I've been back on the forums a bit. I don't think I'll participate as much as I have in the past but there's too much knowledge here to dismiss it completely. I like the community and find it an interesting study in itself. I've learned a ton here and even made a couple of cool virtual friendships! So this place isn't bad, there's just a need to balance and be realistic about what it is.

I also had to stop posting as much because it didn't fit into my list of things I wanted to do with my life.
 
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