Progressed chart
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Natal chart
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I don't even know how anyone can use Mars energy,this suggested to me several times but i'm sorry i can't make it work properly.
Look, I'm definitely not a professional astrologer, I read intuitively.
Your moon is progressed in gemini and is opposing Saturn.
This to me is the major problem for your condition.
Saturn wants a structure, even when it's in Sag. Saturn wants to create and build for the long term, Saturn is the harsh teacher, the lord of karma.
When I had my moon progressed to Gemini i undergone the same thing you are going through now. It was a huge identity crisis for me. I hated the person I was, I hated myself, I hated my life in general. However, seeing how many squares you have in your chart, this tells me you are used to challanges and obstacles.
But Gemini is a dominant sign, and it wants what it wants. It wants to rule over Saturn, so to speak. So you become "spoiled". To me Moon in Gemini is like the rich, spoiled child. It always wants to get its way, and when it doesn't it will start crying, and yelling, and banging its head in the wall. Everything possible and dramatic to get the attention of the parent (Saturn) and hope this will bring forth mercy. Once it sees things won't go his way, it will calm down and start doing what it has to do.
Your moon is still in the early degrees so you are still adjusting to this new energy that will force you to better yourself. To ask what YOU want and how to get it. Trust me, once you get into that mind set, you will see how things will start working for you, because Saturn will start helping.
When I say use Mars energy, it's more of a mental state and conscious choice. You have to be very aware of energies to spot the Mars energy. Each time you get mad, that's Mars. Mars is that drive, the passion, determination, Mars is warrior! However, if used in the wrong way, and too much of it, Mars turns into accidents, outburts, anger. And that's all manifestation through a broken prism. Sometimes that anger turns into sadness and depression. Anger that's directed towards our own selves, we become self destructive.
I don't know why but I think it's possible you might meet someone significant, that will help you and show you what's the "right mindset". Moon in Gemini (duality, much like the opposition) and significant oppositions might manifest as an external partner.
When my Moon progressed to Gemini and I was having the same crisis, I met someone so special to me, someone who indeed first broke me down, and helped me rebuild a new , better version of myself. Showed me my weak spots and strengths. But anyways, that was my experience, could be different for you.
Try to be conscious of the energies influencing you, cos you are using them in all the wrong ways. Mars could be your best friend now. You need all this energy and determination to change your life in the direction you want.
Indeed Moon in 8th, close to Rahu, squared by Mars speaks of literally what I just wrote.
Moon is your desire for change, for transformation of self and your life (8th house) and the North Node represents a path your soul wants to take, but your mind is scared of ,because it's so new and different, something you haven't experienced in any lifetimes, and you are hesitant to go on it, but if you go on it, you will experience happiness and joy. And this is where Mars comes. It's the needed trigger and push for you to GO there. Like it or not, you gotta take that path. You gotta change.
So soon you will grow very tired of the negative push of Mars, of feeling constantly sad , and depressed about your life, and this anger will tranform into "THAT'S IT! NO MORE!" and you will finally take the initial steps towards that transformation.
I hope this helps! <3