warrior rising
Member
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Worst Natal Chart Ever
- Thread starter warrior rising
- Start date
Thirdteenth
Well-known member
Hello Warrior Rising☺️ I like your username! That is unfortunate that you happen to feel like this. Now, you had said that life is hard for you at the moment and I’m sure that it seems hopeless right now. It also seems that Astrology has made those feelings intensify because of your birth chart (which I haven’t looked at yet). From starters though, your mindset seems to be limiting if I had to be frank with you Warrior Rising. That belief that you cannot have a chance to succeed (whatever success is to you. Success is different for everyone) in life is very limiting but also reflects how powerful our minds really can be. The way we thinks can shape our reality and how we decide to interact with it. I hope that your mindset can change or be more open to the idea of you having an ability to achieve success regardless of placements being in the 12th house.
mahaira
Well-known member
You are very young, but you are not a child anymore. Soon your life will be in your own hands and the family abuse you suffered will be in the past, if you let it.
You have certain aspects that can give you a great insight (Neptune opposition North Node), BUT to have clarity you need to chose to focus on things you want to examine and not let your attention be placed randomly, mostly on negative thoughts.
We all have thoughts that “come out of nowhere”. Horrible thoughts, horrible dreams. It is not who we are. Your thoughts and feelings are burdened by Pluto in the 9th, forming a square with your Mercury ruling your 3rd house (mind, thought patterns) and your Moon (feelings). This doesn’t mean that bad things will happen; it’s how you were formed to process and deal with thoughts and emotions. You dwell on them, obsess over them, ruminate and… feel guilty. In the psychology parlance it could be OCD. It comes in different forms and intensities and that too can change, which can be particularly frustrating. Just when you think it went away, it comes back as something else, because you haven’t dealt with the root – you didn’t have any help dealing with it. You haven’t understood how minds work in general and yours in particular and then started (re)training it.
You mother (Moon in Pisces conjucting Mercury, squared by Pluto) could be victim-playing manipulative, authoritarian and could be suffering from some sort of (mental) disorder. This emotional-manipulative behavior is something you have learned from her, because not only did she behave like this, she made you behave like this so that you could avoid bad consequences (a child lies that it broke a vase, fearing punishment, because he had learned that even trivial things WILL provoke terrible anger).
The stelium you have in the 12th house has already manifested itself in certain forms (OCD, depression, anxiety…) but it’s not your destiny. For some reason you needed this experience to grow. The fact that you are aware of it can motivate you to seek help (change the therapist! Find someone who will actually work with you, talk with you, have you tried cognitive-behavioral therapy?) and work on yourself.
Once you realize that your mind is somewhat more obsessive than other people’s you can use it to examine better every opinion you have, every idea you believe in. It’s like knowing that you are wearing a pair of dark glasses. The awareness of it is helping you to not take at face value what you see but examine it and reevaluate what you think you see. When you know that the gun’s sight is not well set, you won’t trust it and use it to aim. You will use what you KNOW and not what you think you see.
The fact that you are still hung up on the ex whom you have mistreated is a good example. The way your mind works (for now) is making you feel guilty and you obsess over it. You have an idea that he’s better than others and that you lost him because you are flawed. You did behave in a hurtful way and he left you, but everything else is just your construction, not a fact. It takes time and practice to let go of these thoughts. Expressing yourself through art is one part of it (Your north node is on the 5th, so art could be what you should be doing in this lifetime, if you believe in this sort of thing). The 5th house is also the house of love. So you are bound to make a few blunders in this area – don’t beat yourself about it. It’s a learning curve.
Thoughts come and go if you let them, if you dwell on them they will absorb you. They provoke emotions. Always. So be mindful of them, both your thoughts and emotions. Putting simply “I have a thought that says…” before a thought helps you remind yourself that it’s just a thought and nothing more.
Your Mars in the 12th is bottled up energy… and anger. You were not allowed to feel what you felt, so you pushed it away. You need to use it creatively. As Nora Ephron (a great woman, American journalist, writer, screenwriter and director= used to say (and her mom before her) “Everything’s copy” meaning, whatever happens in your life use it as an inspiration for your art.
It’s really noble of you that you think about the “world” and how to “promote humanitarian ideals”. And you’ll get there. But before you heal the world, you need to heal yourself. Pluto conjuction Chiron shows a deep childhood wound that made you lose faith (it’s happening in the 9th house). Use your art as means of getting better – express yourself. It will be meaningful for others too, because what you have suffered was horrible, but you can give some sense to it by sharing it with others. Many have suffered like you and will be able to identify and see hope, but very few have gifts like you have – ability to channel it into something they can share with others, in your case it’s art.
Having Pluto (conjuct Chiron)in the house of a “higher mind” may be of great help on your way to regaining faith (not necessarily in a religious sense, but spiritual). It gives you ability to dig deep. You are already aware of many patterns. Some people spend years and years in therapy to get where you are now, and you are only 20!
I have a friend who’s borderline (a personality disorder). Do you know what has been of great help to her? The awareness that she is borderline. That her emotions are fluctuating (like weather!) more than the emotions of most people that are in “the norm”. That her fear of abandonment is linked to her mother’s abuse and not her destiny. That she obsesses on how people perceive her. That she is always analyzing reactions and behaviors of others to see how they like her so that she can adjust her behavior accordingly to get their approval… This knowledge gave her power over how her mind works.
What I can recommend from personal experience is mindfulness and meditation. They can be linked to religious and/or spiritual practices but you can also find them stripped of any religious or spiritual meaning, as tools to understand and use your mind better. Whatever works for you.
I know that you are suffering, but the discomfort you feel is something that will push you farther along on your way. Being fussed over by the mother who has abused you may feel nice (she is giving you the “freedom” not to go to school, not to work on yourself as an artist, not to grow, not to OUTgrow her and leave… you see where I am going with this), but it’s not good for you. You need to stand on your own feet. You will feel better when you take the reins of your life into your own hands. Btw, Pluto in the 9th will bug you (you will berate yourself) if you do not continue your studies.
Give yourself time, while you’re slowly getting of your meds, for your body to detox, and focus on developing strategies and finding tools to deal with OCD, anxiety and other stuff. Life is so big...
Como un océano, una claridad donde comienza el deseo…
You have certain aspects that can give you a great insight (Neptune opposition North Node), BUT to have clarity you need to chose to focus on things you want to examine and not let your attention be placed randomly, mostly on negative thoughts.
We all have thoughts that “come out of nowhere”. Horrible thoughts, horrible dreams. It is not who we are. Your thoughts and feelings are burdened by Pluto in the 9th, forming a square with your Mercury ruling your 3rd house (mind, thought patterns) and your Moon (feelings). This doesn’t mean that bad things will happen; it’s how you were formed to process and deal with thoughts and emotions. You dwell on them, obsess over them, ruminate and… feel guilty. In the psychology parlance it could be OCD. It comes in different forms and intensities and that too can change, which can be particularly frustrating. Just when you think it went away, it comes back as something else, because you haven’t dealt with the root – you didn’t have any help dealing with it. You haven’t understood how minds work in general and yours in particular and then started (re)training it.
You mother (Moon in Pisces conjucting Mercury, squared by Pluto) could be victim-playing manipulative, authoritarian and could be suffering from some sort of (mental) disorder. This emotional-manipulative behavior is something you have learned from her, because not only did she behave like this, she made you behave like this so that you could avoid bad consequences (a child lies that it broke a vase, fearing punishment, because he had learned that even trivial things WILL provoke terrible anger).
The stelium you have in the 12th house has already manifested itself in certain forms (OCD, depression, anxiety…) but it’s not your destiny. For some reason you needed this experience to grow. The fact that you are aware of it can motivate you to seek help (change the therapist! Find someone who will actually work with you, talk with you, have you tried cognitive-behavioral therapy?) and work on yourself.
Once you realize that your mind is somewhat more obsessive than other people’s you can use it to examine better every opinion you have, every idea you believe in. It’s like knowing that you are wearing a pair of dark glasses. The awareness of it is helping you to not take at face value what you see but examine it and reevaluate what you think you see. When you know that the gun’s sight is not well set, you won’t trust it and use it to aim. You will use what you KNOW and not what you think you see.
The fact that you are still hung up on the ex whom you have mistreated is a good example. The way your mind works (for now) is making you feel guilty and you obsess over it. You have an idea that he’s better than others and that you lost him because you are flawed. You did behave in a hurtful way and he left you, but everything else is just your construction, not a fact. It takes time and practice to let go of these thoughts. Expressing yourself through art is one part of it (Your north node is on the 5th, so art could be what you should be doing in this lifetime, if you believe in this sort of thing). The 5th house is also the house of love. So you are bound to make a few blunders in this area – don’t beat yourself about it. It’s a learning curve.
Thoughts come and go if you let them, if you dwell on them they will absorb you. They provoke emotions. Always. So be mindful of them, both your thoughts and emotions. Putting simply “I have a thought that says…” before a thought helps you remind yourself that it’s just a thought and nothing more.
Your Mars in the 12th is bottled up energy… and anger. You were not allowed to feel what you felt, so you pushed it away. You need to use it creatively. As Nora Ephron (a great woman, American journalist, writer, screenwriter and director= used to say (and her mom before her) “Everything’s copy” meaning, whatever happens in your life use it as an inspiration for your art.
It’s really noble of you that you think about the “world” and how to “promote humanitarian ideals”. And you’ll get there. But before you heal the world, you need to heal yourself. Pluto conjuction Chiron shows a deep childhood wound that made you lose faith (it’s happening in the 9th house). Use your art as means of getting better – express yourself. It will be meaningful for others too, because what you have suffered was horrible, but you can give some sense to it by sharing it with others. Many have suffered like you and will be able to identify and see hope, but very few have gifts like you have – ability to channel it into something they can share with others, in your case it’s art.
Having Pluto (conjuct Chiron)in the house of a “higher mind” may be of great help on your way to regaining faith (not necessarily in a religious sense, but spiritual). It gives you ability to dig deep. You are already aware of many patterns. Some people spend years and years in therapy to get where you are now, and you are only 20!
I have a friend who’s borderline (a personality disorder). Do you know what has been of great help to her? The awareness that she is borderline. That her emotions are fluctuating (like weather!) more than the emotions of most people that are in “the norm”. That her fear of abandonment is linked to her mother’s abuse and not her destiny. That she obsesses on how people perceive her. That she is always analyzing reactions and behaviors of others to see how they like her so that she can adjust her behavior accordingly to get their approval… This knowledge gave her power over how her mind works.
What I can recommend from personal experience is mindfulness and meditation. They can be linked to religious and/or spiritual practices but you can also find them stripped of any religious or spiritual meaning, as tools to understand and use your mind better. Whatever works for you.
I know that you are suffering, but the discomfort you feel is something that will push you farther along on your way. Being fussed over by the mother who has abused you may feel nice (she is giving you the “freedom” not to go to school, not to work on yourself as an artist, not to grow, not to OUTgrow her and leave… you see where I am going with this), but it’s not good for you. You need to stand on your own feet. You will feel better when you take the reins of your life into your own hands. Btw, Pluto in the 9th will bug you (you will berate yourself) if you do not continue your studies.
Give yourself time, while you’re slowly getting of your meds, for your body to detox, and focus on developing strategies and finding tools to deal with OCD, anxiety and other stuff. Life is so big...
Como un océano, una claridad donde comienza el deseo…
kshantaram
Premium Member
Aries ascendant, impulsive, action oriented;
Ascendant lord mars negating to 12th tendng to foreign lands;
Mercury debilated pisces 12th,
emotional n confused; not rational;
Mer-mars-moon pisces 12th, volatile emotions and finances;
skin-feet-circulatory inflammations;
mer aspect own virgo 6th protective of employment;
wear green emerald over pendant touching heart for debilated mercury;
Acq and saturn inimical-malefic for aries ascendant,
Sun n Ketu SNode over inimical acq 11th,
scientific thinking, reformist, innovative,
detachment from income-gains-friendships;
pain-injury-surgery arms-shoulders-ears-legs-sciatica etc;
gains from govt-corporates under stress-delays;
prayers for christ, offer red flowers sat mornings;
Rahu NNode leo 5th, high self-pride, foreign relationships,
delays in luck-education-children etc
Sun-rahu NNode opp, toxic health issues, heart-stomach-ears etc,
rise-fall in life, prayers for ancestors,
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;
Saturn taurus 2nd, aptitude for
food technology, banking, dentistry etc
earnings in distant lands;
2nd lord/ruler venus over capricorn 10th, reserved,
artistic aptitudes, gardening, horticulture, etc;
Venus 7th lord/ruler over 10th, supportive but dominating spouse;
Year ahead jup-sat transit sun-acq 11th, gains from govt,
research-advisory roles; while prone to health issues;
Rahu NNode coming 1.5yr transit taurus-sat 2nd,
earnings from foreign sources;
Jupiter 9th lord/ruler aries first, late deg-weak,
aptitude for medicne, advisory-teaching roles,
protective of the chart, trine leo 5th and trine sag 9th,
protective of luck-education etc;
wear yellow sapphire over pendant touching heart;
prayers to saint of faith offering yellow flowers tues mornings;
Hope these notes enable take stock and find helpful, do shrare
how true traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies-ideas to pick etc
Wishing you well, JYOTISHBHUSHAN SHANTARAM
Ascendant lord mars negating to 12th tendng to foreign lands;
Mercury debilated pisces 12th,
emotional n confused; not rational;
Mer-mars-moon pisces 12th, volatile emotions and finances;
skin-feet-circulatory inflammations;
mer aspect own virgo 6th protective of employment;
wear green emerald over pendant touching heart for debilated mercury;
Acq and saturn inimical-malefic for aries ascendant,
Sun n Ketu SNode over inimical acq 11th,
scientific thinking, reformist, innovative,
detachment from income-gains-friendships;
pain-injury-surgery arms-shoulders-ears-legs-sciatica etc;
gains from govt-corporates under stress-delays;
prayers for christ, offer red flowers sat mornings;
Rahu NNode leo 5th, high self-pride, foreign relationships,
delays in luck-education-children etc
Sun-rahu NNode opp, toxic health issues, heart-stomach-ears etc,
rise-fall in life, prayers for ancestors,
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;
Saturn taurus 2nd, aptitude for
food technology, banking, dentistry etc
earnings in distant lands;
2nd lord/ruler venus over capricorn 10th, reserved,
artistic aptitudes, gardening, horticulture, etc;
Venus 7th lord/ruler over 10th, supportive but dominating spouse;
Year ahead jup-sat transit sun-acq 11th, gains from govt,
research-advisory roles; while prone to health issues;
Rahu NNode coming 1.5yr transit taurus-sat 2nd,
earnings from foreign sources;
Jupiter 9th lord/ruler aries first, late deg-weak,
aptitude for medicne, advisory-teaching roles,
protective of the chart, trine leo 5th and trine sag 9th,
protective of luck-education etc;
wear yellow sapphire over pendant touching heart;
prayers to saint of faith offering yellow flowers tues mornings;
Hope these notes enable take stock and find helpful, do shrare
how true traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies-ideas to pick etc
Wishing you well, JYOTISHBHUSHAN SHANTARAM
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rosegarden
Well-known member
Oh, i feel you so much. I have 3 planets in the 12th House too, moon, Neptune and Uranus. Pisces moon, just like you have too. Been suffering from ocd thoughts/actions since i was 14. I'm turning 18 in December.
I don't know how to help, I'm sorry. I'm just praying for you to get better, that's all i can do.
All i can say is, rest sounds good, so maybe you should rest. It helped me. Just try to ground yourself, try to do relaxing things. If things feel too much, try to stand up, look Down your feet and say "i'm here. I'm grounded. It's all okay."
Those things can help, just few suggestions.
Take care.♡
I don't know how to help, I'm sorry. I'm just praying for you to get better, that's all i can do.
All i can say is, rest sounds good, so maybe you should rest. It helped me. Just try to ground yourself, try to do relaxing things. If things feel too much, try to stand up, look Down your feet and say "i'm here. I'm grounded. It's all okay."
Those things can help, just few suggestions.
Take care.♡
kshantaram
Premium Member
Appreciate caring to share some feedback.
Any other feedbacks to share on talents-interests-health-life trends etc etc
how did the reading help you discover yourself
except for realising you are emotional n confused and impulsive
which you are already aware!
Hope the rest of the reading effort has specifics of your interest.
You may deny what is not relevant or irrelevant or not true.
Every sign whether tropical or vedic is ruled by a planet/the lord of the sign or house or the ruler
and is placed somewhere in the chart may be own sign or other signs and houses.
What is important is whether you agree with the traits-talents descriptions provided etc,
whether it is tropical or chinese astrology, and whether helps in the process of
self-realisation and hopes for the future to make the reading productive for yourself having posted on the forum.
Rahu-ketu are the nodes used in tropical charts too already clarified so
within the reading, not to get confused about.
Do share about other traits-talents-professional interests etc
and how the reading helps understand yourself beyond confusions.
No point choosing to remain confused all the time,
enabling yourself take better self-control and direction.
Any suggestions/ideas of interest to pick upon and build on!!
wishing you well.
Any other feedbacks to share on talents-interests-health-life trends etc etc
how did the reading help you discover yourself
except for realising you are emotional n confused and impulsive
which you are already aware!
Hope the rest of the reading effort has specifics of your interest.
You may deny what is not relevant or irrelevant or not true.
Every sign whether tropical or vedic is ruled by a planet/the lord of the sign or house or the ruler
and is placed somewhere in the chart may be own sign or other signs and houses.
What is important is whether you agree with the traits-talents descriptions provided etc,
whether it is tropical or chinese astrology, and whether helps in the process of
self-realisation and hopes for the future to make the reading productive for yourself having posted on the forum.
Rahu-ketu are the nodes used in tropical charts too already clarified so
within the reading, not to get confused about.
Do share about other traits-talents-professional interests etc
and how the reading helps understand yourself beyond confusions.
No point choosing to remain confused all the time,
enabling yourself take better self-control and direction.
Any suggestions/ideas of interest to pick upon and build on!!
wishing you well.