Totally shocked........
- Thread starter kai
- Start date
Btw FYI he did tell me once the following “you are independent, strong willed, fierce, sweet, sexy, hot, beautiful, smart and a well read woman who is well informed about a lot and that you also turn me on so hard even mentally, he also added that he loves how I think.”....... considering the number of times he got kicked to the curb by me I’m sure he realized that I’m a woman who doesn’t take **** and I can dump him at any time I wish (my patterns of cutting him off so many times) so maybe it isn’t about me but he just doesn’t want an independent woman who is fierce and strong willed. He said that we are like an oil and water and that we don’t mix. He also told me that I’m lucky in life for being what I am and how I am. Lol yet he kept contacting me all the time he initiated our contacts 95% of the time so makes u wonder why in the world then, if he didn’t even initiate sex we never did it and I think it’s when he noticed that I like him is when he started keeping me at arms length yet acting like there’s something going on between us for over a year so I never understood what it is he wanted from me where he kept praising me all the time openly telling me that he liked me and how he was attracted to me and how he would like to have sex with me he even saidnimagine how hot our intimacy would be. He also told me during our last contact that he doesn’t initiate intimacy with me as he might like it too much.....whatever this even means! Not to mention he said a year ago that he didn’t initiate sex because he doesn’t want me to feel disrespected. Well I’m glad it’s over this way to be honest. I get disappointed in men so often now that I don’t even care it’s like emotionally I’m shut off from it all unlike before.
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And sweet Kai, do yourself a favor and stop looking at his future transits.
Time to fully move on and stop worrying about what he does or doesn't do in his new relationship.
agreed
)))
waybread
Well-known member
I can see that your emotions are in a swirl, but I would recommend a more mature, considered approach to relationships. Love isn't about "kicking someone to the curb," thinking about who "dumps" whom, and virtually seeing a love interest as an enemy. Which is an alternate meaning of your 7th house. Even with in prospective relationship that doesn't work out, it's best to treat other people with respect.
You might look at how Pluto or Mars is placed in your natal chart.
You will be interested to know that my mars is in Aries in my 12th lol and Pluto is at 29.22” degree in Libra but almost like in my Scorpio in its Home sign both. Mars and Pluto are inconjunct by 1 degree.
My aggression towards him comes from how he has been misleading me with these invitations his interest in me for this long and the fact that I was into him yet his cancellations of the dates and the way he’s been with me which eventually has developed that attitude in me which you pointed out above so I can’t argue with what u said but it’s hard to be what u said I should be when someone throws u a bone each time and confuses u when it comes to the matter of the heart. This is why I started showing him that I like him but I don’t need him hence kicking him to the curb abruptly cutting off contacts each time and pretending that he needs to get the steppin so to speak. Yes u are also right that I started seeing him as an enemy to me this I never thought about it but u are 100%.
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waybread
Well-known member
Thank you, Kai. And sorry to be preachy.
Who says astrology doesn't work? But we have to recognize how each planet, sign, and house, has multiple meanings.
Possibly this man just likes to manipulate and play games with women. If so, good thing you're out of the relationship.
Who says astrology doesn't work? But we have to recognize how each planet, sign, and house, has multiple meanings.
Possibly this man just likes to manipulate and play games with women. If so, good thing you're out of the relationship.
aquarius7000
Well-known member
Kai, if you actually look deeper into the way he behaved with you in a more constructive manner, especially now that you are out of that relationship, "the fact that I was into him yet his cancellations of the dates" perhaps he was trying to sort of not let you build hope too much, which, actually would have happened had he not cancelled all those dates, especially knowing your interest in him. Can you imagine how emotionally shattered you would have then been having been so deeply and even more emotionally involved with him then. Perhaps he did realize, after first leading you on, that it is not fair to you after all because seeing each other can lead to Lord knows what.
Of course, the most sensible thing for him would have been to not lead you on at all because somehow I do get the feeling that he knew from the beginning somehow that it would go nowhere with you both. For you, it would also have been sensible that you would have kicked him out of your life when you noticed perhaps not the first time, but surely the second or third time he cancelled the dates. That is a strong hint that something is not right. Right now, surely, the most sensible thing is to let bygones be bygones, learn your lesson out of this, and to move on without analysing this any further because that way you will remain stuck with this, feel more and more sorry for yourself and be more bitter towards him.
LovelyMissAries
Well-known member
If you're taking him back every time there's no point to "kicking him to the curb." He knew you'd be around after the first time you took him back.
Deirdre
Well-known member
This is not astrology related but...perhaps its your ego reacting...and you feel hurt and confused.? It's not that you loved him or anything, u only feel manipulated by him and probably he played games with you.
some men are like that, specifically if you.re attractive. Cause they want to conquer you and feel their own ego.
I met someone like that too.when I realized it, it was too late. The moment I stopped, the moment he felt his ego betrayed. They will not stop though...they try one more time just to have the upper hand. It's nothing to do with affection or care or love.
so...fortunately you didn't get intimate. Be glad for that and move on.
just my 2 cents.
does he have lots of Pluto in his chart?
some men are like that, specifically if you.re attractive. Cause they want to conquer you and feel their own ego.
I met someone like that too.when I realized it, it was too late. The moment I stopped, the moment he felt his ego betrayed. They will not stop though...they try one more time just to have the upper hand. It's nothing to do with affection or care or love.
so...fortunately you didn't get intimate. Be glad for that and move on.
just my 2 cents.
does he have lots of Pluto in his chart?
Thanks guys I totally agree with everything you said....absolutely with everything. I judge people the way I am myself...I would never mislead anyone so I don’t expect that someone would do that to me and this is where my issue lies when it comes to men. I need to realize that just because I’m the way I am it doesn’t mean that another person would be fair to me too. I do feel hurt and I feel insecure a little and my ego is hurt too. The problem is that anytime he would cancel a date and I would kick him to the curb, he would tell me “too bad we didn’t work out” as if to show regret like he wanted something with me and I’m leaving him so that would confused me as I assumed that ok then he did want something but then if he does then why is he keeping me at arms length not to mention that he told me a few times “if something develops between us so be it!” And that coupled with his constant admiration for me verbally for over a year confused me. I have a tight square between Neptune and Venus in my natal....hello!!!
The time when he said we are like water and oil, we don’t mix is when I realized a lot of things. He told me also during his last text to me before I cut contact off “how is the sexy, beautiful and smart woman doing who is a pain in my bu..” and by pain in his bu.. he was referring to the 10th time I cut contact with him when he invited me out which I learned to be a farce each time....he meant it in a joking way obviously but every time I would kick him to the curb, he would be “stop getting upset, here we go again agh”.
I realized that this girl is a family friend to him they know each other on and off dated before but then she was with someone else she is the same ethnicity as him and they have common friends and acquaintances. He knew her before he got to know me a year an a half ago but I do know that he wasn’t with her all the time it was definitely on and off. I now remember there was 2.5 month period when out of the blue he blocked me and disappeared but then he came back and started texting me again so I now realized that they must have gotten together and broken up again last year exactly this time for a short period of time because he also go out of online dating for those 2 months then returned online.
Who knows maybe he did like me really but maybe she’s a better convenience for him and not necessarily because he is so in love with her. His man is a doctor and her brothers are doctors too besides the same ethnicity while me and him do not share these commonalities like she does with him but I did see her photo and she is absolutely below a 5 and I don’t mean to be rude but there must be other things in factor for him like some of these thing that I mentioned. Perhaps he would have tried with me if this girl wasn’t in the picture before me and they weren’t on and off so who knows how things would have been but that’s besides the point. My confusion for over a year now is gone and I think it’s best that it worked this way now. I learned the truth about the Greek man and him as Saturn was transiting and retroing over my Neptune and based on astro website the description is about disillusionment and clarity can it be more obvious with the timing? I’m will only mention this at the end...I was very depressed for over a year because of him and didn’t date much anyone as I wasn’t interested in others. So now there goes another man about whom I won’t ask again considering the new developments. Thanks again for reading the chart and reading my charts about this man for a year an a half
The time when he said we are like water and oil, we don’t mix is when I realized a lot of things. He told me also during his last text to me before I cut contact off “how is the sexy, beautiful and smart woman doing who is a pain in my bu..” and by pain in his bu.. he was referring to the 10th time I cut contact with him when he invited me out which I learned to be a farce each time....he meant it in a joking way obviously but every time I would kick him to the curb, he would be “stop getting upset, here we go again agh”.
I realized that this girl is a family friend to him they know each other on and off dated before but then she was with someone else she is the same ethnicity as him and they have common friends and acquaintances. He knew her before he got to know me a year an a half ago but I do know that he wasn’t with her all the time it was definitely on and off. I now remember there was 2.5 month period when out of the blue he blocked me and disappeared but then he came back and started texting me again so I now realized that they must have gotten together and broken up again last year exactly this time for a short period of time because he also go out of online dating for those 2 months then returned online.
Who knows maybe he did like me really but maybe she’s a better convenience for him and not necessarily because he is so in love with her. His man is a doctor and her brothers are doctors too besides the same ethnicity while me and him do not share these commonalities like she does with him but I did see her photo and she is absolutely below a 5 and I don’t mean to be rude but there must be other things in factor for him like some of these thing that I mentioned. Perhaps he would have tried with me if this girl wasn’t in the picture before me and they weren’t on and off so who knows how things would have been but that’s besides the point. My confusion for over a year now is gone and I think it’s best that it worked this way now. I learned the truth about the Greek man and him as Saturn was transiting and retroing over my Neptune and based on astro website the description is about disillusionment and clarity
can it be more obvious with the timing? I’m will only mention this at the end...I was very depressed for over a year because of him and didn’t date much anyone as I wasn’t interested in others. So now there goes another man about whom I won’t ask again considering the new developments. Thanks again for reading the chart and reading my charts about this man for a year an a half that's his natal...m sorry im not good at natals much i guess he does with scorpio asc, pluto conj uranus & opposite to saturn? im also interested to know now lol
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100000%!!!!!!!! absolutely...thank you! i did make a mistake so will live with it. it was a great life lesson.
aquarius7000
Well-known member
Kai,
He actually has a pretty decent chart, and he has got to be a decent man otherwise.
He is quite a softie actually with Venus in Pisces, sextile Moon and square Neptune. Venus square Neptune could be one of his problems, as he might get disillusioned easily. It also is a sign of deception, but more in the sense of running away from reality and suffering because Venus is in Pisces. There is also some problem with women in general or at least with the mum due to the Moon being in detriment. However, that extremely strong Venus softens it.
Venus also rules his partner house, via Taurus, so it is strong basically, but Neptune weakens it. The North Node there also weakens shows some struggle in obtaining a steady relationship. Hi Asc. ruler, Scorpio, is in detriment though (Mars in Libra). Is he well educated or well-travelled?
As to Uranus-Pluto-Saturn, don't worry about that aspect because that is too impersonal and generational.
He actually has a pretty decent chart, and he has got to be a decent man otherwise.
He is quite a softie actually with Venus in Pisces, sextile Moon and square Neptune. Venus square Neptune could be one of his problems, as he might get disillusioned easily. It also is a sign of deception, but more in the sense of running away from reality and suffering because Venus is in Pisces. There is also some problem with women in general or at least with the mum due to the Moon being in detriment. However, that extremely strong Venus softens it.
Venus also rules his partner house, via Taurus, so it is strong basically, but Neptune weakens it. The North Node there also weakens shows some struggle in obtaining a steady relationship. Hi Asc. ruler, Scorpio, is in detriment though (Mars in Libra). Is he well educated or well-travelled?
As to Uranus-Pluto-Saturn, don't worry about that aspect because that is too impersonal and generational.
sibylline
Well-known member
His natal looks like a big red flag to me. A big one.
I understand your situation kai, truly I do. I don't judge you for reacting the way you have but understand that this man is bad news. Even if he were interested in you right now, he would still not be good for you since he hasn't addressed his natal issues. I don't know what your chart looks like but I can imagine the relationship houses are highlighted and you've got some Neptune going on...Luckily for you, you can more easily get away from him by separating yourself mentally from him. You are not bound to him by past or current circumstance. Trust me, take the steps toward letting him go now, and thank us all later. If you need help doing that, I can certainly help.
I understand your situation kai, truly I do. I don't judge you for reacting the way you have but understand that this man is bad news. Even if he were interested in you right now, he would still not be good for you since he hasn't addressed his natal issues. I don't know what your chart looks like but I can imagine the relationship houses are highlighted and you've got some Neptune going on...Luckily for you, you can more easily get away from him by separating yourself mentally from him. You are not bound to him by past or current circumstance. Trust me, take the steps toward letting him go now, and thank us all later. If you need help doing that, I can certainly help.
Thanks for the chart interpretation. Perhaps I should have done this in the past to understand what he is all about waaaay before when it wasn’t too late yet. Yes he is a doctor and well travelled as well. I see Saturn in his 5th as a reference to his childless status as he is turning 51 now. He seems not to have luck with women in the long run he kinda hinted that to me in the past. Maybe due to some unresolved psychological issues highlighted in his chart. By the way, I am a Pisces myself and as I said my Natal Venus squares tightly my Neptune hence where my disillusement derives from.
He seems very self absorbed to me and I read that south node being in 1st house is what the cause of that for him. His Venus in Pisces does create this idea in his head of a perfect wife and partner and children but when it comes to the reality and practicality, he is very commitment phobic and doesn’t like being controlled and being told what to do and he acts very independently all this qualities cause issues for him. Total aqua with emotionless ****** moon sign as he seems reserved.
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Yup...u got that right I am a Pisces lol I just mentioned above that I do have Neptune square Venus tight so I keep being deceived and I seem to wear rose colored glasses often and I don’t see people as they are at first....only when I get ******* by men like this one when I take the glasses off. I think this is my natal red flag which I need to deal with and work on it after identifying my own issues. I used t fall for men fast without getting to
Know them well. Now I will be more cautious after finding myself in the same pattern. The red flags and natal issues u mentioned which are they in your opinion? The same as what the previous member pointed out?
Deirdre
Well-known member
hikai
i talked about pluto cause when we have trouble letting someone go such as this..probably you and him have a lot of pluto aspects between you...thats why probably he kept reaching u and you kept on and off... Sth strong pulls you torwards him like an obssessipn but then at the same time makes u feel its also a bit unhealthy such a feeling.