Childhood in the hospital due to birth trauma - ouch.
Didn't catch that but it could explain Pluto sitting in H6, with that regenerative capacity you must be alive after something that would have killed someone else.
Were you there for a long time?
From birth I was there intermittently. I was pulled out prematurely and wasn't breathing afer the delivery, so spent my first few weeks on a oxygen machine, lucky to be a alive, lucky to escape brain damage. However the nerves on my right side of my body were damaged, so I had multiple operations for the first 10 years of my life to maximize mobility on the upper right side of the body, the last one just after 9/11. It does explain the condition of the 6th house somewhat. After the final operation I had physiotherapy until I was about 16 and they would introduce me to older people who had gone through similar birth trauma. Physiologically I recovered as best as one can.
Also, I didn't catch 'helpless mother' from your chart. Do you see her there?
Maybe 'helpless' is unfair and too strong. She is a Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon. She is actually quite resilient in terms of how she deals with difficult situations, but she tends to paint herself as a victim in even small ways which can get tiring. She is one of those people who is so emotionally intelligent that she crosses the thin line into manipulation.
She was kicked out of the house onto the street at 15 by her older sisters, her father was killed when she was a child, my father abused her infront of me. Despite this everyone in the extended family relies on her in some way, so she maintains contact with people who victimized her and I think she has developed a subtle power due to this. Maybe the exact Moon inconjunct Pluto shows this. She's a confusing figure for me, I understand my father to a greater extent, there are less layers to him.
One too many experiences that make me wonder what the point of life is, besides kindness. Everything has a cost. You know that Zen story "maybe so, maybe not"? I mean... how can you live like that?
Late stage capitalism, modern love?
I feel like this often, however I think the epochs of human civilization develop a life of their own. So for example The Renaissance wasn't just a phase in history when x,y & z happened, the epoch itself has a distinct life and intention beyond our own needs and feeling. I guess we are in the information age with vestiges of the post industrial age.
I sense that any advance in how we treat each other, cooperation etc will come on the other side of a global cataclysm. We're going to learn the hard way that cooperation is a necessity not a choice, by exploring all permutations of this zero sum game.
Part of me wants to retreat into the countryside, another part of me feels this is the wrong era for a young person to hide. As faith in institutions fall, old democracies show their fragility, participation may never be more important. As corporations absolutely plunder the world's finite resources and land a quiet Zen life may not even be possible in the future.
Have you ever been interested in Astrocartography/Relocation Astrology?
Unreliable sure, though I would have gone further and called it yucky. Anything salient from The Second Sex?
I feel yucky towards casual sex too but it's the norm in my generation, it seems people of my generation are more comfortable with sex with a stranger than geniunely getting to know someone.
"Man is defined as a human being and woman as a female – whenever she behaves as a human being she is said to imitate the male."
The book made me reconsider how I interact with women. The girl you fancy might not want to be a wife or girlfriend, maybe she wants to be an astronaut.....Historically we have not treated women as people with internal lives and concerns that have nothing to do with a man. Our fantasies often take the form of some passive figure receptive to all our desires and needs. I think is why men take rejection so badly. I'm not sure many men have read the book but they should, Simone De Beauvouir herself seems to be demystifying women.
I think this connects to the casual sex thing. There is a tension between what is biologicaly innate and what is sociologically developed between the genders and we are figuring that out now.
I try to detach from my immediate desire, when I'm interacting with someone I am attracted to and just be objective, friendly and neutral. I think a certain kind of man depending on the woman can kind of just put himself out here directly unapologetically. I think this is another thing that men get frustrated with and build resentment. They look at what other men can do and feel entitled to the same response, instead of dealing with their path in life.