Feeling Detached From My Father
- Thread starter Guacosa
- Start date
Sorry if it seemed I was prying, in reality I was trying to identify the house to assign to your father. Traditionally the 4th is the father, and the 10th is the mother, but sometimes these houses are reversed. Based on your reply, the 10th would seem to fit your mother, and the 4th your father.
I'm attaching two charts, one is your natal with the addition of transits, the second your progressed chart, again with transits. I've inserted Lilith into the charts.
Attachments
In this type of question, it would be helpful to have your father's chart to be able to confront it with yours. The energies of the relationship work two ways and his chart could give more insight on the interaction between the two of you.
Working with the two charts where the transits are inserted, maybe we can shed some light on your relationship, although how to fix it is complex.
Keep in mind that from the chart we see how you personally experience the relationship, which is different from what it might be objectively. For example, you might have brothers or sisters, and they have the same father but their experience of him could be completely different from yours.
Your mother as 10th house is in aires ruled by mars, which is conjunct Neptune, that represents the lies, as well as any delusions you might feel about her. Aires is an egotistical sign and aggressive, and mars is also exactly sextile pluto, so domineering. Your moon positioned exactly on the 10th cusp suggests the emotional impact she has had on you. It is in a wide square with Saturn, cold and aloof. She has led you, perhaps unconsciously, to be independent, detached and needing your freedom.
Your ascendent is also ruled by this moon, so even the sensitivity of cancer will take on the same shades of mars in aires.
You asked about your father, so what does all this have to do with him? Keep in mind, your reaction is the key, not the objective reality, and your reaction also has its roots in this strong tie with your mother.
Your father is the 4th house and its ruler, Venus. Venus is strong in taurus, but if we look closely, we see it is exactly conjunct Black moon Lilith, which is why the relationship with your father weighs on you as it does. Lilith is what makes us feel most vulnerable, it is our subconscious. In taurus, it gives rise to a need for security and material comfort, we sooth our emotional wounds with food and sensual material goods.
By detaching Venus from you, as a result of the separation between your parents, it created an emotional void in you that you are searching to fill. It also manifests itself sexually by repressing its expression, Venus of affection and love in taurus looses its energy, and is taken over by the square with mars in distant and cool Aquarius, in the 8th house of the subconscious and sexual energy. Vaporous Neptune is with mars, also squaring Venus/Lilith, so it is trying to work itself out, but it becomes muddled, it's like grasping fog in your hands.
Venus as the symbol of your father is square neptune, so not only is he illusive to you, he is not in reality what you think, and you have created a fantasy about him that may not correspond to the truth.
And all this lead us to your sentence, "I respect my father immensely for being everything im not." This sentence is actually the reason I decided to reply to you. There is a world of psychology hidden in these words, a lack of self confidence, an idealisation of your father figure, all stemming from that Neptune square.
Attached to the Lilith/venus conjunction is also mercury, who happens to be your sun ruler. So your ego and personality are closely linked to this situation. Be aware, Neptune is not what it appears to be. You have idealised him, but a closer look is warranted to see if your ideal matches the objective reality. And this is very important because of the comparison you are subconsciously making between the two of you.
The father figure is also represented by Saturn, who is at the end of the sign of gemini, linked by square to the moon, which symbolises his separation from your mother, and the emotional conflict you are currently trying to work out.
And you asked, how to fix it.
Looking at the natal chart we see transiting Saturn and pluto with the south moon's node (of Karma and past lives) all touching your 7th house of relationships, and all in easy trine with the Venus/Lilith/mercury conjunction.
Transiting Saturn is exactly conjunct your natal Chiron, the wounded healer, the expression of our higher purpose. This energy in you is now being stimulated by Saturn, the teacher.
This is the key to your answer. Use these energies, Saturn and pluto, to resolve the conflicts you feel with your father.
Lastly, lets look at the progressed chart with transits.
What jumps out immediately is the configuration of the sun/pluto opposition (transformation of identity, digging to get to the truth) and the Neptune/jupiter opposition (spirituality and illusion in counterbalance with the truth and knowledge).
These two oppositions are linked together and form what is called a magic rectangle.
Look at the moon, in libra (the sign of your natal 4th that represents your father), in your 4th, so your emotional energy is all directed towards solving this crucial conflict for you.
And, the progressed moon is involved in a grand trine with mars (your mother figure) and Saturn (your father figure, out of sign that represents the fact that he is outside the "family").
Note that when you posted your question, transiting moon was exactly conjunct your progressed venus, again symbol of your father. Things don't happen by chance.
This is a remarkable situation, and you have been given an extraordinary opportunity to delve into yourself by passing through the doorway of your relationship with your parents. Parents in the plural, because you cannot divide the two in your case, one ties in with the other.
Progressed mercury (natal sun ruler) conjunct north moon's node (your path to follow) gives us the idea of communication, thought and speech, square active and philosophical (Aquarius) mars which is caught up in the grand trine.
It's all coming together for you, and remember, the problem is not between you and your father, but within you and yourself. Delve deeply without fear, this is the moment the universe has reserved for you to do this chore.
Once you have reconciled with yourself, you will find the relationship with your father will fall into place, and you will free the love in your heart that you want to give him.
Working with the two charts where the transits are inserted, maybe we can shed some light on your relationship, although how to fix it is complex.
Keep in mind that from the chart we see how you personally experience the relationship, which is different from what it might be objectively. For example, you might have brothers or sisters, and they have the same father but their experience of him could be completely different from yours.
Your mother as 10th house is in aires ruled by mars, which is conjunct Neptune, that represents the lies, as well as any delusions you might feel about her. Aires is an egotistical sign and aggressive, and mars is also exactly sextile pluto, so domineering. Your moon positioned exactly on the 10th cusp suggests the emotional impact she has had on you. It is in a wide square with Saturn, cold and aloof. She has led you, perhaps unconsciously, to be independent, detached and needing your freedom.
Your ascendent is also ruled by this moon, so even the sensitivity of cancer will take on the same shades of mars in aires.
You asked about your father, so what does all this have to do with him? Keep in mind, your reaction is the key, not the objective reality, and your reaction also has its roots in this strong tie with your mother.
Your father is the 4th house and its ruler, Venus. Venus is strong in taurus, but if we look closely, we see it is exactly conjunct Black moon Lilith, which is why the relationship with your father weighs on you as it does. Lilith is what makes us feel most vulnerable, it is our subconscious. In taurus, it gives rise to a need for security and material comfort, we sooth our emotional wounds with food and sensual material goods.
By detaching Venus from you, as a result of the separation between your parents, it created an emotional void in you that you are searching to fill. It also manifests itself sexually by repressing its expression, Venus of affection and love in taurus looses its energy, and is taken over by the square with mars in distant and cool Aquarius, in the 8th house of the subconscious and sexual energy. Vaporous Neptune is with mars, also squaring Venus/Lilith, so it is trying to work itself out, but it becomes muddled, it's like grasping fog in your hands.
Venus as the symbol of your father is square neptune, so not only is he illusive to you, he is not in reality what you think, and you have created a fantasy about him that may not correspond to the truth.
And all this lead us to your sentence, "I respect my father immensely for being everything im not." This sentence is actually the reason I decided to reply to you. There is a world of psychology hidden in these words, a lack of self confidence, an idealisation of your father figure, all stemming from that Neptune square.
Attached to the Lilith/venus conjunction is also mercury, who happens to be your sun ruler. So your ego and personality are closely linked to this situation. Be aware, Neptune is not what it appears to be. You have idealised him, but a closer look is warranted to see if your ideal matches the objective reality. And this is very important because of the comparison you are subconsciously making between the two of you.
The father figure is also represented by Saturn, who is at the end of the sign of gemini, linked by square to the moon, which symbolises his separation from your mother, and the emotional conflict you are currently trying to work out.
And you asked, how to fix it.
Looking at the natal chart we see transiting Saturn and pluto with the south moon's node (of Karma and past lives) all touching your 7th house of relationships, and all in easy trine with the Venus/Lilith/mercury conjunction.
Transiting Saturn is exactly conjunct your natal Chiron, the wounded healer, the expression of our higher purpose. This energy in you is now being stimulated by Saturn, the teacher.
This is the key to your answer. Use these energies, Saturn and pluto, to resolve the conflicts you feel with your father.
Lastly, lets look at the progressed chart with transits.
What jumps out immediately is the configuration of the sun/pluto opposition (transformation of identity, digging to get to the truth) and the Neptune/jupiter opposition (spirituality and illusion in counterbalance with the truth and knowledge).
These two oppositions are linked together and form what is called a magic rectangle.
Look at the moon, in libra (the sign of your natal 4th that represents your father), in your 4th, so your emotional energy is all directed towards solving this crucial conflict for you.
And, the progressed moon is involved in a grand trine with mars (your mother figure) and Saturn (your father figure, out of sign that represents the fact that he is outside the "family").
Note that when you posted your question, transiting moon was exactly conjunct your progressed venus, again symbol of your father. Things don't happen by chance.
This is a remarkable situation, and you have been given an extraordinary opportunity to delve into yourself by passing through the doorway of your relationship with your parents. Parents in the plural, because you cannot divide the two in your case, one ties in with the other.
Progressed mercury (natal sun ruler) conjunct north moon's node (your path to follow) gives us the idea of communication, thought and speech, square active and philosophical (Aquarius) mars which is caught up in the grand trine.
It's all coming together for you, and remember, the problem is not between you and your father, but within you and yourself. Delve deeply without fear, this is the moment the universe has reserved for you to do this chore.
Once you have reconciled with yourself, you will find the relationship with your father will fall into place, and you will free the love in your heart that you want to give him.
This is a lot of information to process but thank you very much for translating it in broad and in open terms. My dad and mom have started talking again I think this week so all these placements make a lot of sense. I don't want this to be taken as a dramatic situation. So I will use saturn and pluto energy to fix the relationship between me and my father and I have to do a lot of introspection? Alright