i feel like i don't know myself, any insights?
- Thread starter tdlwvs
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Cary2
Banned
You have much to look forward to and you have remarkable strengths, but you are probably very depressed, and you are troubled by the contrast in your various characteristics.
For instance, Sun-conjunct-Neptune in Twelfth House is square to the midpoint of the Mars-Jupiter trine, so you have a great capacity for compassion and mystical sight. Many people will find you easy-to-be-with, but you will benefit greatly by taking time every day to retreat and meditate or pray.
On the other hand, the Mars-Pluto conjunction on your midheaven signals that you either bully people or you trample on their susceptibilities. Such Pluto aspects can be very transforming, and you may rise high above this tendency if you master the Pluto energy you possess. I think you will assume a role that is rather like a spiritual leader. Large-scale success is possible, but you are inhibited.
However, I think your depression is very serious and you should consider professional counseling by those who are expert at dealing with depression. This is signaled by Sun-Neptune from the Twelfth House squared to Moon-Saturn square midpoint and also Pluto-Mars opposed to Saturn.
You are sometimes tempted to be a non-entity because you are distressed by your constructive-destructive impulses.
For instance, Sun-conjunct-Neptune in Twelfth House is square to the midpoint of the Mars-Jupiter trine, so you have a great capacity for compassion and mystical sight. Many people will find you easy-to-be-with, but you will benefit greatly by taking time every day to retreat and meditate or pray.
On the other hand, the Mars-Pluto conjunction on your midheaven signals that you either bully people or you trample on their susceptibilities. Such Pluto aspects can be very transforming, and you may rise high above this tendency if you master the Pluto energy you possess. I think you will assume a role that is rather like a spiritual leader. Large-scale success is possible, but you are inhibited.
However, I think your depression is very serious and you should consider professional counseling by those who are expert at dealing with depression. This is signaled by Sun-Neptune from the Twelfth House squared to Moon-Saturn square midpoint and also Pluto-Mars opposed to Saturn.
You are sometimes tempted to be a non-entity because you are distressed by your constructive-destructive impulses.
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brainpuddle
Well-known member
This seems like a classic Aquarian issue. Aquarius sees other people, but not themselves, and so often find themselves trying to measure what they are based on observation of others comparatively. It's part of what contributes to their socially global mindset. Most people are very tethered to their identity, seeing everything, including other people, through that lens. Without the inherent instinct of personal identity, an Aquarian is left strangely able to see a broader picture of the human condition. The tradeoff for this of course, is what you're going through. The feeling of being lost in one's own mind and life, subject far more to the flow of the river around them, than the will of their own intentions and sense of self.
This may, in particular, clash with your Moon's need to be self-possessed, and to direct life around it's own desires. Aries wants what it wants, and Aquarius doesn't know what it wants. I imagine it's an uncomfortable resonance for you.
IleneK
Premium Member
Hello, tdlwvs.
At your fine and tender age, it is not uncommon at best to feel like one does not know oneself or like oneself. [Often I do not know myself still, and my age is anything but tender
.]There remains much to be revealed through life's experience. But speaking as one with a luminary in the 12th house similar to you in a highly energetic and key planetary signature involving that luminary [in your chart Sun Jup Mars], as well as with many planetary placements in the eastern/self hemisphere of the chart, we may find ourselves taking even more time to come to know ourselves combined with a very strong drive to do so. So there may be a frustration of sorts.
To me, though, you seem right on course. Looking at what is going on, reflecting.
It is crucially important to cultivate kindness and patience toward yourself when you are in this state of not knowing. Most of us are in that state anyway; we just don't know it
. And of course ours selves are always changing, evolving which contributes to this not knowing.Wishing you the very best,
HonourAndDevotion
Banned
when your sun and mars natures are contradictive.
Sun is very neptunian
mars is close to mc where it is powerful with pluto
even your sun dispositor saturn is opposing to 10th house. bad placement for saturn.
overall it's just neptune's bad effect, you actually have zero water, you got personals in saturn signs. you even got mercury saturn mutual reception and mercury chiron conjunction. still feeling delusion with all of these could be explained only with Pisces rising and weak 12th house sun.
idk
maybe your mom is dominant over you (moon in 1st house)
maybe your father is gone or uncaring, why it is in 12th house?
Sun is very neptunian
mars is close to mc where it is powerful with pluto
even your sun dispositor saturn is opposing to 10th house. bad placement for saturn.
overall it's just neptune's bad effect, you actually have zero water, you got personals in saturn signs. you even got mercury saturn mutual reception and mercury chiron conjunction. still feeling delusion with all of these could be explained only with Pisces rising and weak 12th house sun.
idk
maybe your mom is dominant over you (moon in 1st house)
maybe your father is gone or uncaring, why it is in 12th house?