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Unread 09-12-2019, 05:48 AM
mahaira's Avatar
mahaira mahaira is offline
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Why is this person chronically single and rejected? Would therapy help?

Hi all,

The friend, whose natal chart I’m presenting here, has asked me for help and gave her permission for me to post here.

She has been chronically single all of her life. A couple of affairs she had were secret (even if the guys weren’t married, they didn’t want to publicly be associated with her in that way) and only one brief relationship which ended against her will after only 3 months.

She is in her forties now, so we can really talk about a pattern.

I would really like to hear your thought on this.

The first thing that I notice is a very strong ego - Sun opposition Pluto, Sun opposition North node. With these aspects native can be self-centered, self-serving, literary obsessed with herself and her need for control.
Pluto is here really giving obsessive and paranoid tendencies opposing her Sun (ruler of the 7th house), Mercury (ruler of the 5th), Venus (ruling her 3rd house).

The native is prone to obsess over men she is interested in and act compulsively.

Her Sun is further stressed with a square coming from Jupiter in the 5th, giving her both an inflated ego and grandiose ideas about romance/love.

Saturn is inconveniently placed in the 7th house, postponing marriage/relationships. Saturn makes mostly beneficial aspects with other planets, the only problem being a square coming from Uranus in the 9th.
Moon-Uranus conjuction is making this native prone to mood swings, leading to outburst of anger and hysteria.

Speaking of anger, Mars in her 6th (giving her an enormous energy for work) is forming squares with her Mercury (ruler of 5th), making her aggressive when her ideas are not met with acceptance and Venus.

Regardless of her “difficult character”, I’d like to point out that the opposition of Jupiter (5th) and Neptune (10th) is clouding her judgment when it comes to romance. She not only idealizes the guy she is interested in, she is literary looking for an ideal guy (looking for status and financial security judging by other aspects as well), ignoring everybody else. As if she had some sort of a filter.

Anyway, I keep suggesting therapy (which the native has always refused), counting on the possible rebirth energy coming from Pluto and the demands imposed by the Sun-North node opposition.

The problem is she keep falling for guys who lead her along , but who “check all the boxes” of what she wants, so it is difficult for her to stop obsessing over them.

Thank you!!!
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Unread 12-09-2019, 04:25 AM
Sylviego Sylviego is offline
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Re: Why is this person chronically single and rejected? Would therapy help?

**** not to mention, all that Aries energy ! Venus in Aries does always want the chase. Maybe she needs someone who has venus conjunct her sun. So that, at the end of the day, they will like her for who she is.
But it does look like she has a lot of maturing to do psychologically. Age can’t do it for her. All these harsh aspects have a lesson and a higher octave of possibilities. If she doesn’t want to seek out the traditional therapy, then I deff suggest a relational astrologer. If she doesn’t work on her patterns, by first getting the the root cause of them, unfortunately, she will keep repeating them and blame the world. It’s never too late.!
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Unread 12-12-2019, 12:32 AM
freeadia freeadia is offline
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Re: Why is this person chronically single and rejected? Would therapy help?

North Node in 8th House in Libra show that the urgency is transformation of the way of relation. How ”the other” is perceived, any other, signifiquant or common aquintace and the exchange that every relation imply, be it material, emotional, mental, etc. is afflicted by expectations. Moon in Scorpio speaks about emotional imprints inherited through family. The native places every ”other” in a preexisting pattern before knowing his/her name and has predeterminated expectation. Also Moon in Scorpio shows that family education recreated anterior pattern, that this is a transgenerational issue regarding the way of relating and the exchange, mostly between sexes. In fixed sign as Scorpio, tremenduous efforts are needed to free this energy which was congested for so long. It comes either through deep psychoanalysis (if the native is akin to introspection or meditation) or more frequently through life-changing events and big emotional drama. Even then, the person has to learn from those events, must have the courage to accept some ”new rule” about the world, or to learn to see the limit of a rule. It may be simple said, is always much more simple to say than to do, the urgency to awareness. Many of the dogmas falsify our relations, all preconceptions have their limits and frequently they deny us having an open eye, the innocent look for the other when we could truly admire his soul. Searching for love under those ”must be so and so” make our soul insensitive to the emotional (water) side of the other, and any other that may be with us will be inssatisfied because love is first about emotion (water element) which is blocked within us because we are concerned always with being ”as it should be” and not feeling - which is not about thinking, but a subjective holistic perception of the other.
The fact that Sun is with Ketu is repeating lesson, but venus and mercury in Aries show that native is born with instinctive knowledge of how to access her talents and how to manage money (second house). Interception of Aries-Libra may be the cause of placing of the Sun near Ketu. It shows that something of the core of Aries energy was excessively used in previous existences and now is denied. Chiron in Taurus in 2house speaks about chronic material and love inssatisfaction which maybe in previous existences hurted the self esteem and now, the subconscious inherited fear gripped the flow of change in relation with others.
Now it comes to my mind that Neptune, which much of it is illusion, is also escape from the roughness or too much suffering. Neptune is the seducer, but he is also the most beautiful promise we will ever get. He awake in us the divine discontentment, which we project on the shapes of beauty that may come in our way. So, we will experience the root of desire. At that point, each of us is chosing the path, an existence within we fulfill the desire. The perpetual denial of that desire (denial of lasting love relationship, rejection) is the combustible for the correction of the path. Neptune in Saggitarius is pointing to the redemption through study of philosophical principles, meditation or spiritual practice. In 10th house, it will be facilitated by her career. Debilitated Mars in Cancer underlie the previous excess of Aries energy, but being in water sign he activate exactly what is needed, the emotional congestion of preexisting roles. Venus and Mercury opposite Pluto favour obsessive attachment, it may be attachement to people or having fixed ideas about the world, love and so on.
The real and durable satisfaction will come through saturn which will materialize her transformed inner values in the result of a personal creative process. The help may come from people with a large age difference from her. Socializing circumstances and the intuitive scorpionic Moon may help her ”to see through other people eyes” and so to gaining different perspectives on what she values.

Last edited by freeadia; 12-13-2019 at 10:12 PM.
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