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  #1  
Unread 09-05-2019, 02:49 AM
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is my mother faking?

Hi,

Just a doubt in my head. I have this feeling that my mother seriously likes my brother so much and faking with me. I have many reasons for this question.


Is my mother being fake to me but truly loves my brother?
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Unread 09-05-2019, 03:28 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Is your father in the picture? It looks like she loves the whole family.
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Unread 09-05-2019, 05:02 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

The chart is not radical.
Moon is void of course.
She is in her fall, and in the last degree.

We really need some background here. What brings this question to mind? What's going on that makes you question mother's love?

In truth I believe the chart overcomes the disqualification of void Moon. Sun, symbolizing you, along with 3 other planets, is precisely on the 3rd cusp, house of siblings. Too much weight apropos of the question to discount. Sun and Mercury, lord of 3rd, exactly conjunct and embracing 3rd cusp...and ditto the partile opposition to Neptune, lord of fakery and deception. If we use Venus, lord of 4th as "mother", we see that Mercury (your brother) comes between you and mom.

If we use the simplest and most direct technique for answering a Yes/No question, we find that Sun comes to conjunction of both Mercury and Venus, yielding a "yes" to the question as asked.

But I think there is more to this question than meets the eye. Also, I think your own age may have a bearing on the style of the answer given. How old are you?

Now to hard-nosed common sense.

If your mother loves your brother more than she does you, but she takes the trouble to "fake" love for you...doesn't that tell you something?

If mom doesn't love you, what can you do? She has little control over her own feelings and deep motivations. You can do nothing to change this.

In which case it is time to implement Plan B; accept things as they are and get on with your life.

She is just being who she is and can be no one else. Give her your love freely without thought of recompense, and be patient. Or get on down the road and leave her behind.

Mother's love is for children. As an adult, longing for what is not and cannot be [if that is the case] is simply yielding to unrealistic expectations and produces negative results.

Again, I would refer to the natal chart in preference to a horary for this question.

Last edited by greybeard; 09-05-2019 at 05:59 AM.
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Unread 09-05-2019, 05:17 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Greybeard's point taken.

However, you are symbolized by the sun and your mother (10th house cusp rule,) by Mars. Mars is combust the sun. Your sibling is ruled by Mercury. It is combust the sun.

Are you very hard on these family members? Would you describe your relationships as supportive and caring, or do you give them a hard time? It doesn't look like Mum loves your brother more than you, but that she finds you more difficult to deal with.

Your brother's significator Mercury is domiciled (in the sign it rules.) Is he the bright one or talented one in the family?

Dad's significator Venus (4th house ruler) is in its fall. Perhaps he's not a strong figure in your family's dynamics?
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Unread 09-05-2019, 09:04 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Agreed with all of the above, your parents are Venus and mars, you are sun and your brother mercury, and all of you, ALL of you are together on the 3rd cusp.
It doesn't look like there is any particular deception with Venus, who has already passed the opposition with Neptune, but the other three are still approaching it.
We do really need more info here.
Also, does the 29 scorpio moon connect with your natal chart in some way?
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Unread 09-06-2019, 01:37 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Hello everyone,

Thankyou so much for the readings and suggestions.


I do understand as an adult I shouldn't expect my mother to shower all her love on me. The story is not that. It's nothing to do with who loves who for real. All I want to know is if she is faking. If I know for real that she is faking then my hurts are less. I am trying to get away from my parents for my own good. Cos I cannot stand fakeness or betrayal.

To give you a clear picture, my brother is very selfish guy who only cares about himself. He is using my parents for finance and other helps but my parents don't see it as such because they have their own beliefs (my root is from down south where ppl think male child is their prestige) no matter how much I care about them or try to help them financially or stand by them in their hard times. It never get through their heart or brains.

I'll tell you an example of how selfish my brother is, my father was helping him with renovating his house and had an accident. He has got drilled on his leg by a tile cutter. Next day morning my brother took my dad to his house to complete the chores!!

Lately my parents were ignoring me because my brother do not like me, reason why? Because he has got married to my cousin who is couple of years older than him and I cannot accept this relationship from the start and I said it's a shame. So in a revenge he or my cousin do not like me at all.

My brother was not in touch with my parents for almost 4 years. Before that they lived at my parent's house for free for years. Now because he wanted to buy a house and needed financial support he has come after my parents.

My parents were been in contact with him. I do not mind after all he is their son but what they are lying on my face that they are going somewhere else but go i ng straight to his house. Btw I live on my own with my family. My concern is, if I call my mother and my brother is around she avoids me and cut me off. If she is in my house and he calls her, she speaks casually with him. I do not care if they say they he is important to them and end the relationship with me but what they are doing is pretending on my face which I cannot take.


Now I am learning to be not so emotional and not mind their lies. I would be happy if they say frankly that they care about their son.
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Unread 09-06-2019, 01:52 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Quote:
Originally Posted by greybeard View Post

If your mother loves your brother more than she does you, but she takes the trouble to "fake" love for you...doesn't that tell you something?

If mom doesn't love you, what can you do? She has little control over her own feelings and deep motivations. You can do nothing to change this.

In which case it is time to implement Plan B; accept things as they are and get on with your life.

She is just being who she is and can be no one else. Give her your love freely without thought of recompense, and be patient. Or get on down the road and leave her behind.

Mother's love is for children. As an adult, longing for what is not and cannot be [if that is the case] is simply yielding to unrealistic expectations and produces negative results.

Again, I would refer to the natal chart in preference to a horary for this question.
Hi thanks for the advice and that's what I am following too. I am very emotional and I cannot stand lies or fakeness. It hurts.me.more to avoid them at the same time. If I know.they are faking for.real then it helps me clam my mind and that way I don't get hurt or guilt about avoiding them.

I have posted my natal with transit. pls check it.
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Unread 09-06-2019, 02:00 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

I have got saturn & pluto transiting my 1st house and uranus in my 4th. Does it have something to do with what's going on between me and parents.
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Unread 09-06-2019, 02:24 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Life brings us problems, which present us with opportunities for personal growth. For as long as we blame "them", and do not instead look within ourselves, the opportunity is lost.

These folks will not change. That's just the way it is. Face this reality, accept this reality. Given this reality, determine the best course you can and go forward. You are getting yourself stuck in the mud, spinning your wheels...driving yourself crazy, and making no progress in life, all over something you cannot change.

You must learn to Let Go. Not easy. And you must learn to stand alone, because given your present situation you are liable to enter some new relationship, desperately looking for the love you never had, which is as damaging as your parental one. Beware.
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Unread 09-06-2019, 06:21 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Heavensmystery, my adult daughter is sometimes very critical of me. When this happens, I sometimes remind her that she is loved by imperfect people.

If you cannot tolerate anything"fake" as a general principle in life, you will orient yourself around seeing fakery wherever you look. (I note this chart's sun opposite Neptune, where the sun is your significator.) Maybe your mother just loves you in her own way. If you are critical of her and she knows it, that does not make it easy for her to express genuine affection.
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Unread 09-06-2019, 06:46 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

I understand, she does say she do care but she is feared of my brother. It seems that he pressures her some way. I wonder Why would she cut me off when he is around. But not do that to him when she is with me.


Now a days I am trying not to get bothered by this and just let go. May be some day they realise what my brother's true color is (they did it already but they have forgot)
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Unread 09-07-2019, 03:56 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Heavensmystery, I don't think it hurts for you to be the bigger person in this situation.
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Unread 09-08-2019, 01:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread View Post
Heavensmystery, I don't think it hurts for you to be the bigger person in this situation.

It does when someone very close pretend/be fake. But not any more. Since the saturn return I am getting a bit bolder I feel. I cannot hate the close ones even if they betray me but I should need proof to make my self believe that they are wrong for sure that helps me take them off my heart and head easily.
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Unread 09-09-2019, 05:49 PM
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Re: is my mother faking?

This chart is very intriguing. The relationship between parent and child is one of the most crucial and significant in anyone's life, and we all go through it, we are all either a child or a parent or both.
Looking at the chart, on the one hand, moon at the last degree would normally indicate a chart that should be not read. However, it is sitting exactly on the cusp of the 5th of children, which is the question. And in scorpio, ruled by mars which also rules the MH 10th of the mother, again the question.
In addition, it's remarkable that all the significators, both parents, the querent, and the brother, are bunched together on the 3rd cusp of brothers and sisters.
Sitting on the opposing cusp of the 9th is confusional, deceptive, spiritual and weak Neptune.
The father, ruled by the IC, 4th cusp, is Venus. The IC is in libra, the sign of peace and balance, who hates wars. He is the one, as Venus, who was first to move out of the cluster on the 3rd. Probably for the sake of peace, he has distanced himself.
Mercury, ruler of the 3rd, is the brother, and the only one in his own sign, his own house, so very strong, actually the strongest one in the chart, and he also has moved past the slower sun and mars, above and beyond the situation.
The mother is MH and 5th ruler mars, which shows how influential she is in this situation and the family. Probably too overbearing in her actions, however we find Chiron the wounded healer near her cusp. So while she in theory is the most active role player here, she herself has been suffering, has been wounded trying to heal the others, and she has been left behind by everyone else.
The querent, Leo ascendent is by nature a little self-centred, and as sun has also left the mother figure behind.
All four figures are in the sign of virgo, while very serious it is also very critical and needling at times. They tend to egg each other on with criticism, while actually looking for perfection.
And we return to the question, is the mother faking it, and find all four planets in the opposition with Neptune, some getting over it, and some approaching it, but all involved.
Virgo's natural house is the 6th, and there we find Saturn of responsibility and pluto of transformation, both in an easy trine with the four family members.
In addition, south node is there, and in easy rapport with the family.
Is the mother faking it? It would look as though not really, no more than the other members.
The easy connection with Saturn and pluto would seem to point to a way that one by one they will all come to a resolution, probably a karmic one with south node involved.
A very intriguing situation.
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Unread 09-10-2019, 12:19 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

For reference, I should say the persons signifies and the situations is all been came out the opposite.

which makes me wonder the chart it self is a wrong one!


The father figure! Is the one who is very fake and after the brother. The chart shows as if the mother is suffering and trying to heal?

I I have checked it in many situations my mother is faking and lying to me. Last week she was saying she is down financially (normally I help her during this time) today when I spoke to someone close to my parents. They said my parents barrowed thousands to do a favor to my brother lately for renovation. Even my mother gifted £2000 to my brother. Which again makes me think my parents are faking. Its always me who help my parents in their hard times & while my brother never care about them. My mother tells me she is stuck finaclly and seeking sympathy. When am falling for her by hearing this....the other side she is helping my brother by borrowing. He got them in a big financial mess.

This chart is confusing ��

Last edited by Heavensmystery; 09-10-2019 at 02:08 AM.
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Unread 09-10-2019, 07:22 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

From what you write, they are really down financially, having taken out loans and given it all to your brother.
Whether they should have or not is another question.
She tries to heal, but in doing so actually hurts herself. And in a sense, she tries to help your brother and in doing so instead brings your dislike on her.
The chart is very very intriguing.
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Unread 09-10-2019, 10:34 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Hi, Thanks for the reply.

I told you already My parents think their son is a pride for them because he is a male child (due to origin beliefs)

- from my mother's view she thinks she is right helping my brother a she wants to support him for that she is borrowing and getting burdens.

-my dad he is an extreme, he is blind folded by my brother's sweet talk along with his mother-in-law (who is my dad's own elder sister)

- my brother is very selfish and he uses my parents financially and physically. another example (my brother lives with his wife,mother-in-law and father in-law) they all dependent on my brother, my brother's wife or her mother never cook they are lazy. my brother orders my mother to cook for them everyday and take it to his house and give them all it's been happening everyday now for past 3-4 weeks) i am telling you this because i wonder if these little info can help you with the chart. i am so confused how my brother is so strong in his chart. may be is that his position is strong because my parents supports him?


so back to the topic,they can do what ever they want to (be with my brother or run after him) all i want is them being true. they say they are after him i do not mind. but what they are doing even if i walk away they are coming to me and bluffing something and that bothers me so much.

i thought i should just ignore them completely and concentrate on my life. but to detach i should need proof that way i wont be guilty.
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Unread 09-10-2019, 08:36 PM
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Re: is my mother faking?

"My parents think their son is a pride for them because he is a male child"
Have you any idea how many cultures hold on to this belief? It happens the whole world round.

"from my mother's view she thinks she is right helping my brother a she wants to support him for that she is borrowing and getting burdens."
Exactly, she wounds herself by helping others.

"my dad he is an extreme, he is blind folded by my brother's sweet talk along with his mother-in-law (who is my dad's own elder sister)"
Not necessarily blind folded. More that he wants peace and harmony, so closes his eyes to conflict.

"my brother is very selfish and he uses my parents financially and physically."
Yes, he is very strong, and why not, everyone is bending over backwards towards him and he takes advantage of it. This is not necessarily a good thing for him, but for the moment it seems like it is.

"my brother orders my mother to cook for them everyday"
So the strong sibling orders his mother, and she vows her head and obeys.

"i am so confused how my brother is so strong"
Because he is the male offspring. And he is taking advantage of the situation.


"they are coming to me and bluffing"
Another way of expressing this is, they are embarrassed at their actions and instead of talking to you and recognising it and apologising they pretend. They are saving face. To them it is not lying, it is acting.

"i thought i should just ignore them completely and concentrate on my life"
Yes, this would be the logical thing to do. But you cannot in your heart, so you suffer.
Try to be strong and live your life, but not leave them. They need you.

"You must learn to Let Go. Not easy. And you must learn to stand alone, because given your present situation you are liable to enter some new relationship, desperately looking for the love you never had, which is as damaging as your parental one. Beware."

This is an important message from Greybeard. Try to follow it if you can find the inner strength.
You as generous outgoing sun are coming to a trine with Saturn, in the 6th of health, but also ruler of your 7th. If you have a partner, or will find a partner, they will help you come to terms with this situation. You cannot change the members of your family but you can change yourself.
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Unread 09-11-2019, 12:10 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

all nailed

yes, i understand. my mother does would herself by trying to help others financially.

regarding my 7th house sun trine Saturn. My partner is the only one supporting me in this situation.
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Unread 09-11-2019, 12:38 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Your parents love their son. As they should.

To you, and to others watching, it may seem very crazy, what is happening between them. The inequities and entitlement.

But maybe, in the huge cosmic picture, they have a karmic debt load. Maybe they are all 3 working out some karmic stuff.

I say let them be, and let them resolve it.
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Unread 09-11-2019, 09:36 AM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post

This is an important message from Greybeard. Try to follow it if you can find the inner strength.
You as generous outgoing sun are coming to a trine with Saturn, in the 6th of health, but also ruler of your 7th. If you have a partner, or will find a partner, they will help you come to terms with this situation. You cannot change the members of your family but you can change yourself.
Msg from Greybear?

I do not catch that, my sun coming in trine with saturn (is that by transit?) in my health house??? anything bad???

I do have a partner, he has been trying to get me out of this situation. we have planned to move out from this country. He prefers we move back (the reason we came here is mainly for my parents) now when they are acting what's point for us staying here. we were better-off there if we relocate.

thank you so much for the readings and helping me understand more.
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Unread 09-12-2019, 02:04 PM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavensmystery View Post
Hi,

Just a doubt in my head. I have this feeling that my mother seriously likes my brother so much and faking with me. I have many reasons for this question.


Is my mother being fake to me but truly loves my brother?
Interesting chart, it seems in your family the world revolves around you brother. Mercury your brother is essentially strong but combust, Sun is you so there is this competition of sorts between you. Sun also hides any faults and brings unclarity to minds of those it touches by combustion, so I think your parents don't really see any faults in him its like they are blinded and cannot see reason. Even if you try to get them to understand he is selfish, they won't see this.

Sun/Mer dynamic here suggests you both affect on each other, so he feels the heat when you are around. As do you based on this post.

Also it seems its a cultural thing, your parents grew up with seeing boys as more valuable than girls, unfortunately. It is very hard to shake old beliefs and traditions, but hopefully you can pass on the message of equality to your kids so they grow up respecting women in the family just as much as men.
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Unread 09-12-2019, 03:01 PM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Hi raffella,

Thanks for the post.

True, my parents never learn from past how my brother put them under his feet and crushed them, insulted them, used them. Which I cannot stand so I question his actions. My brother is brainless as his wife (my cousin) act as his brain. She cannot stand at me. My natal sun square her natal mars.

My brother cannot stand if there is a topic with my name. That's why my mother cuts me off when he is around.

These old people are buring out themselves as a candle to support him. A shame example I should say, my bro was living at my parents with his wife for free from his age of 18 till 28. Btw my mother has to wash their cloths, even find my brother's underwear and socks (when he was 24).

My parents were being a slave to them. But they dont see it wrong. When I stand for my parents my brother and inlaw & co are angry on me.

I let this to god and fate may be some day my parents realise.
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Unread 09-12-2019, 03:08 PM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Not an easy situation, but you will not change them, you can only help yourself by putting mental and psychological distance between you.
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Unread 09-12-2019, 10:57 PM
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Re: is my mother faking?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ElenaJ View Post
Not an easy situation, but you will not change them, you can only help yourself by putting mental and psychological distance between you.

That's very true. The lesson is for me to let go and be strong and stop expecting the real love (they do love me may be? but not as much as my brother- may be their synastry playing a role here??? pluto-venus) from my parents like as i did all my years..it's quite hard for me being a water sign (cancer all my sun,venus, mercury) all in cancer sign. my mars is in scorp another water sign.
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