Hello,
so in the last 2-3 years i had kind of left my comfort zone which was doing my work well and studies well as a good student/ well made student.
Ive seen a different part of life- my friends that have not been nice, two faced, having affairs, other businesses .
I was scared that some of my friends have not been like me, that they had different lifes- the 2nd side or the side that didnt want to show me.
Because i still have an impression of an innocent girl/woman.
What i want exactly to say is that it was a harsh moment in my life but put me out of a comfort zone- the stereotype of a living by a system- school, studies,well payed job.
I left the country for 7 months and ive been back since september 2017. And a lot has changed. I focused only on myself and my things to do, the projects I MAKE. I dont do stuff i did before. i left people from the past to the way that they were coming back to 'check on me'= my exes, my wanna be boyfriends. Didnt know why i didnt post anything on fb and ect.
Maybe because i focused only on myself and what i do now for me and for my projects and work.
When i did this some people tried to regain contact. I am emotionless to my exes, to my wanna be boyfriends or men who rejected me. I can draw a border now and a line for them and i am not crawling after them to have their attention. I dont feed their ego.
So what i want to say is that i get matured i get older, i am becoming more serious.
Even when i am 28 i dont feel like almost 30.I feel very young mentally.
Some says that my saturn return in capricorn started in december 2017. I dont know. Maybe i feel more grounded and serious or maybe its only a placebo. But something has changed and i dont know if i am evolving or its only my mind.
Could you please look up at my chart and maybe on some of my transits to say why i dont want to be surrounded by other people as much as i wanted in the past?
I dont need to feel accepted by others as i wanted to be in the past.
Now i have my own projects and own 'mind' and i dont have to be guided by others. And its what makes my friends from the past not respect me (?). or not contacting me.?
Because maybe they wanted me only to be level below them? They wanted to have a praise from me? And now when i am more confident and more grounded and its me who takes charge they dont like it?
A lot of people flake on me now. People from the past. People who saw i evolved who saw i am doing my thing. They are nice they are kind of helpful but its not like in the past.
I feel like i am alone and i need to create my own reality with my people to be on the same level as my friends now. Maybe i overexaggerating but its weird.
About flaking on me its weird because i thought that in their eyes i would have been better if i evolved to higher level of work, maturity. But i think for them its better if i stayed in the past.
When in the past i was scared, i was making a feeling to be protected so those people had the eye on me. Like i would have been a little sister of the company. You know like a sister who says only nice things and they like me as a younger member. But not above them.
And they start to delicately flake on me now.
Why?
Should i show them my power now?
I am 'clean'. I have not done anything bad or i have not been involved in anything bad in the past with them.
I dont know if i should be nice or i should be maybe a little more humble?
But sometimes my Aries side and my pride hits me.
Now when it comes to projects i do some national architecture workshops that i do with my architecture friends. its also a reason i didnt contact with my friends from the past for such a long time. It was always me who was taking initiative because they have been busy. ANd it was always me who needed to make up my time between theirs.
Maybe im too strict but it was sometimes like that.
Because of this workshop i needed to focus on my work and this project ONLY. Because of this i met other people, broadened my horizons in my professional field and i didnt have to impress anyone.
So our 'project company; became kind of known with some patronages and famous institutions giving us ;thumbs ups;. And those people from the past dont even accept my invitations to the 'facebook page' or they dont want to talk with me about it.Or maybe they are just busy and dont have time to talk about things that are not involed in their lives?
Maybe because i am growing up and i am becoming more aware?
Or maybe i am going through some shift in life and some new doors will open soon?
What do you think?
Thank you
Short term Transits
Venus Square Ascendant 0° orb
Mars Sextile Sun 0° orb
Sun Trine Moon 1° orb
Venus Trine Jupiter 1° orb
Mercury Trine Neptune 2° orb
Mars Opposition Ascendant 2° orb
Mercury Sextile Chiron 2° orb
Mars Sextile Mercury 2° orb
Sun Trine Saturn 3° orb
Mercury Trine Uranus 3° orb
Sun Sextile Pluto 3° orb
Long term Transits
Saturn Square Mercury 0° orb
Uranus Square Ascendant 0° orb
Neptune Sextile Neptune 0° orb
Jupiter Conjunction Pluto 1° orb
Saturn Opposition Jupiter 1° orb
Uranus Sextile Jupiter 1° orb
Saturn Square Sun 2° orb
Pluto Conjunction Moon 3° orb
Jupiter Sextile Moon 3° orb
so in the last 2-3 years i had kind of left my comfort zone which was doing my work well and studies well as a good student/ well made student.
Ive seen a different part of life- my friends that have not been nice, two faced, having affairs, other businesses .
I was scared that some of my friends have not been like me, that they had different lifes- the 2nd side or the side that didnt want to show me.
Because i still have an impression of an innocent girl/woman.
What i want exactly to say is that it was a harsh moment in my life but put me out of a comfort zone- the stereotype of a living by a system- school, studies,well payed job.
I left the country for 7 months and ive been back since september 2017. And a lot has changed. I focused only on myself and my things to do, the projects I MAKE. I dont do stuff i did before. i left people from the past to the way that they were coming back to 'check on me'= my exes, my wanna be boyfriends. Didnt know why i didnt post anything on fb and ect.
Maybe because i focused only on myself and what i do now for me and for my projects and work.
When i did this some people tried to regain contact. I am emotionless to my exes, to my wanna be boyfriends or men who rejected me. I can draw a border now and a line for them and i am not crawling after them to have their attention. I dont feed their ego.
So what i want to say is that i get matured i get older, i am becoming more serious.
Even when i am 28 i dont feel like almost 30.I feel very young mentally.
Some says that my saturn return in capricorn started in december 2017. I dont know. Maybe i feel more grounded and serious or maybe its only a placebo. But something has changed and i dont know if i am evolving or its only my mind.
Could you please look up at my chart and maybe on some of my transits to say why i dont want to be surrounded by other people as much as i wanted in the past?
I dont need to feel accepted by others as i wanted to be in the past.
Now i have my own projects and own 'mind' and i dont have to be guided by others. And its what makes my friends from the past not respect me (?). or not contacting me.?
Because maybe they wanted me only to be level below them? They wanted to have a praise from me? And now when i am more confident and more grounded and its me who takes charge they dont like it?
A lot of people flake on me now. People from the past. People who saw i evolved who saw i am doing my thing. They are nice they are kind of helpful but its not like in the past.
I feel like i am alone and i need to create my own reality with my people to be on the same level as my friends now. Maybe i overexaggerating but its weird.
About flaking on me its weird because i thought that in their eyes i would have been better if i evolved to higher level of work, maturity. But i think for them its better if i stayed in the past.
When in the past i was scared, i was making a feeling to be protected so those people had the eye on me. Like i would have been a little sister of the company. You know like a sister who says only nice things and they like me as a younger member. But not above them.
And they start to delicately flake on me now.
Why?
Should i show them my power now?
I am 'clean'. I have not done anything bad or i have not been involved in anything bad in the past with them.
I dont know if i should be nice or i should be maybe a little more humble?
But sometimes my Aries side and my pride hits me.
Now when it comes to projects i do some national architecture workshops that i do with my architecture friends. its also a reason i didnt contact with my friends from the past for such a long time. It was always me who was taking initiative because they have been busy. ANd it was always me who needed to make up my time between theirs.
Maybe im too strict but it was sometimes like that.
Because of this workshop i needed to focus on my work and this project ONLY. Because of this i met other people, broadened my horizons in my professional field and i didnt have to impress anyone.
So our 'project company; became kind of known with some patronages and famous institutions giving us ;thumbs ups;. And those people from the past dont even accept my invitations to the 'facebook page' or they dont want to talk with me about it.Or maybe they are just busy and dont have time to talk about things that are not involed in their lives?
Maybe because i am growing up and i am becoming more aware?
Or maybe i am going through some shift in life and some new doors will open soon?
What do you think?
Thank you
Short term Transits
Venus Square Ascendant 0° orb
Mars Sextile Sun 0° orb
Sun Trine Moon 1° orb
Venus Trine Jupiter 1° orb
Mercury Trine Neptune 2° orb
Mars Opposition Ascendant 2° orb
Mercury Sextile Chiron 2° orb
Mars Sextile Mercury 2° orb
Sun Trine Saturn 3° orb
Mercury Trine Uranus 3° orb
Sun Sextile Pluto 3° orb
Long term Transits
Saturn Square Mercury 0° orb
Uranus Square Ascendant 0° orb
Neptune Sextile Neptune 0° orb
Jupiter Conjunction Pluto 1° orb
Saturn Opposition Jupiter 1° orb
Uranus Sextile Jupiter 1° orb
Saturn Square Sun 2° orb
Pluto Conjunction Moon 3° orb
Jupiter Sextile Moon 3° orb