What is the reason for the messages (did she tell him to?)

I have been getting to know someone who is in a relationship as friends but it is clear that I would like to take it further (though I think still in the realms of friendship, and I don’t know if they are in an open situation).

I noticed that she is starting to be more present in his social media feeds and he is responding to her. I asked if this had anything to do with me in that they were trying to tell me something and what.

Here is a link to the chart: https://imgur.com/a/kTw3QkW

So what I see is mercury, ruler of his 5th is angular on the mc and ruler of his 3rd mars will trine me the sun in 1 unit. Mars is also in his 12th house. Will he continue to talk to me in private? I mean he already is, but maybe he has talked to his girlfriend about me?

Sun is also in its detriment in the sign of mars, Aquarius, so does that mean I won’t like what he has to say?

You should just stop growing the connection until you know for sure if they are open or not.....

Who wants to be a side H0e?

Wait... Did I get this right?
So he does have a girlfriend but you're into him and are asking if they are in an open relationship?
Your best shot here is just to ask him. If you are not interested romantically but only you want to be ... you shouldn't care if he rejects you. Can I just ask why would you want to be someone's side thing? I'm not judging but I'm just trying to understand. It's one thing to just be casually hooking up with someone but going after someone that is already committed is just ...

no, i wanted to know if the increased/changed messages had anything to do with me and if they contained a message towards me.

incidentally, your other comments are not quite relevant to my situation without some assumptions. but in general, i don't want to be a particular anything, but instead analyze human connections, which are not mutually exclusive. I mentioned friends to describe what the interaction is like now and that i am drawn to the connection - but it is not the same as striving for a label.

now, i have a question for you miss lavigne. could you finish your sentence.. ".. is just" ? that might also fill in the gaps why you used the example of casually hooking up in contrast to this.

besitos said:

no, i wanted to know if the increased/changed messages had anything to do with me and if they contained a message towards me.

incidentally, your other comments are not quite relevant to my situation without some assumptions. but in general, i don't want to be a particular anything, but instead analyze human connections, which are not mutually exclusive. I mentioned friends to describe what the interaction is like now and that i am drawn to the connection - but it is not the same as striving for a label.

now, i have a question for you miss lavigne. could you finish your sentence.. ".. is just" ? that might also fill in the gaps why you used the example of casually hooking up in contrast to this.

Click to expand...

it's just weird for me and many people would say cheap. I do have friends in polygamic relationships, open, etc - not my cup of tea, but I'm fine with that. All I wanted to say - in situations like this , the best policy is to ask. If they are in an open relationship, that's great - go for it. Buy if they are just in a normal one you should just remain friends. There is no need to make the other girl jealous or put tension especially if you are not really sure what you want. You said that you don't want a label , but you got offended by the term 'casually hooking up'?
The other poster was with a similar opinion btw.
And what do my other posts/threads have to do with this? Different people/ different stories/different problems, that doesn't mean that I would be biased.
I was asking all these questions as I am trying to learn horary as well but could not understand what exactly you were asking for.
From what you wrote I understand that they have not (he hasn't) exchanged any messages with you but with one another, is that correct? You are asking if she is jealous because of you and if she is trying to show you that he is with her (with the presence in his social media)??

besitos said:

I have been getting to know someone who is in a relationship as friends but it is clear that I would like to take it further (though I think still in the realms of friendship, and I don’t know if they are in an open situation).

I noticed that she is starting to be more present in his social media feeds and he is responding to her. I asked if this had anything to do with me in that they were trying to tell me something and what.

Click to expand...

Can you explain what you mean by “take it further”

You must respect boundaries if he is in a relationship.

Is he leading you to belive that he wants to take it further also??

avrillavigne said:

You said that you don't want a label , but you got offended by the term 'casually hooking up'?
The other poster was with a similar opinion btw.

Click to expand...

i was asking why you contrasted casually hooking up with pursuing someone you knew was in a relationship. one might think if you disapproved (not saying you did but felt some way one) about the latter you would also disapprove about the casual connection too, if we considered the circumstances the same (the relationship was "normal", by whatever standard). but if not, that is what i was asking -- what factor must there be to be judged on the same level?

the difference I saw between your response and confused crab's was that yours seemed to judge that it was a side hoe situation even though you said you didn't, while crab put forth only practical advice and advising against a side hoe situation should it develop to that. i thought maybe you had seen crab's use of the word and automatically thought it was what you thought was a side hoe situation. while Crab may be thinking it, the response is giving advice from an opinion and not necessarily judging the situation from a universal moral position or even factually, imo.

i am not trying to make anyone jealous, i was just trying to figure out if i a missing messages as im not the least anxious person when it comes to feeling secure in how they feel about me.

ConfusedCrab said:

Can you explain what you mean by “take it further”

You must respect boundaries if he is in a relationship.

Is he leading you to belive that he wants to take it further also??

Click to expand...

I guess i meant its obvious to him that i am interested to dive deep into getting to know each other and connect, not necessarily sexually, but both are attracted to each other. i admit i asked this question when it was very unclear what was happening. but thats part of the reason i wanted to ask.

to update this thread on the situation -

i am no longer considering whether the messages had to do with me, or were trying to tell me anything in regards to their relationship (i thought maybe they were trying to tell me indirectly that they were in a relationship if i didnt know). but my best guess is that the messages did not have to do with me and were not trying to tell me anything.

things have progressed with he and i and we talked about his relationship and we talked about our feelings and what we were going to do and what we felt was appropriate emotionally and physically. things seemed fine until today where i think i need to talk to him again. we will talk tomorrow.