So last night I had a dream that left me in feelings this whole day.
I dreamt I was back at my hometown where I grew up and met my first big love. (A little backgorund on this so I can try to picture the whole thing a bit better: We were teens when we started dating, and have dated for 4 and half years, and broke up when I was leaving for University. It was very special bond, very deep we were very focused on each other and quite mature for that age. It only happened so that passion kind of sizzled out with time. I loved him, and cared deeply for him, but we outgrew eachother, and I knew that the right thing was to let go. There were no hard feelings left between us whatsoever.)
So in my dream I am my normal grown-*** woman age at local football field preparing to watch a football game and then he came and walked by me to sit with his friends a couple of seats higher than me on my left. I kind of look at him, since I am standing at some kind of high bar table forward facing the stands, and him (my back turned to field) but knowing he is married, and I am married, I don't hold the eyecontact for long. While i am processing that thought in my head, one of our acquitances who is couple of meters from me on my right side tells me he's got something for me, and gives me this huge bunch of handwritten 'love letters", folded kind of in a miniature book. Those letters are from my big love where he in the most wonderful way ever, quite beautifully expresses his emotions toward me, during all these years we were not together. It is not at all direct, he is not asking for anything, it is kind of pure and full of unconditional love. In short he was telling me it doesn't even matter that we have went our different ways, because all of it is meant to be so this time, because it's this lifetime, in other time we are still together.
At the same time in the background is playing on loud speakers "Do I wanna know" from Arctic Monkeys. (Only god knows when I have heard that song last time IRL...).
So while I was reading his profession of love in such sentimental, open and unobtrusive way in my dream it made me kind of questioning my own life decisions. While I was pondering that, I looked at him and felt kind of soul naked when our eyes met. And this weird energy vibrating, I don't know how to explain it better. And then his wife saw us locking our eyes, and I immediately felt bad while she was storming out of there. I didn't feel guilty tho, because I kind of knew I didn't do anything bad - just kind of sad for her to be witnessing that. After that I woke up.
Whole day I was followed by this feeling of wistfulness.
Last time I had this kind of feeling was a bit more than year when I heard that he got married. Even though I don't have any romantic feelings left for him, it kind of hit me without any obvious reason and it was very weird feeling of loss mixed with deep sadness(which was surprising). Then one very beautiful and wise acquitance of mine who is very spiritual said that he was purging before getting married and that he has finally let me go with a lot of emotions which kind of caused me to feel it on my end through the energetical cord which was never cut...
So I was thinking that something major is again happening in his life that might caused this feeling out of the sudden on my end.
So my question is, was he thinking about me? Am I reading in to it more than what it was - just a dream? Tell me what do you think?
Here is the chart:
I dreamt I was back at my hometown where I grew up and met my first big love. (A little backgorund on this so I can try to picture the whole thing a bit better: We were teens when we started dating, and have dated for 4 and half years, and broke up when I was leaving for University. It was very special bond, very deep we were very focused on each other and quite mature for that age. It only happened so that passion kind of sizzled out with time. I loved him, and cared deeply for him, but we outgrew eachother, and I knew that the right thing was to let go. There were no hard feelings left between us whatsoever.)
So in my dream I am my normal grown-*** woman age at local football field preparing to watch a football game and then he came and walked by me to sit with his friends a couple of seats higher than me on my left. I kind of look at him, since I am standing at some kind of high bar table forward facing the stands, and him (my back turned to field) but knowing he is married, and I am married, I don't hold the eyecontact for long. While i am processing that thought in my head, one of our acquitances who is couple of meters from me on my right side tells me he's got something for me, and gives me this huge bunch of handwritten 'love letters", folded kind of in a miniature book. Those letters are from my big love where he in the most wonderful way ever, quite beautifully expresses his emotions toward me, during all these years we were not together. It is not at all direct, he is not asking for anything, it is kind of pure and full of unconditional love. In short he was telling me it doesn't even matter that we have went our different ways, because all of it is meant to be so this time, because it's this lifetime, in other time we are still together.
At the same time in the background is playing on loud speakers "Do I wanna know" from Arctic Monkeys. (Only god knows when I have heard that song last time IRL...).
So while I was reading his profession of love in such sentimental, open and unobtrusive way in my dream it made me kind of questioning my own life decisions. While I was pondering that, I looked at him and felt kind of soul naked when our eyes met. And this weird energy vibrating, I don't know how to explain it better. And then his wife saw us locking our eyes, and I immediately felt bad while she was storming out of there. I didn't feel guilty tho, because I kind of knew I didn't do anything bad - just kind of sad for her to be witnessing that. After that I woke up.
Whole day I was followed by this feeling of wistfulness.
Last time I had this kind of feeling was a bit more than year when I heard that he got married. Even though I don't have any romantic feelings left for him, it kind of hit me without any obvious reason and it was very weird feeling of loss mixed with deep sadness(which was surprising). Then one very beautiful and wise acquitance of mine who is very spiritual said that he was purging before getting married and that he has finally let me go with a lot of emotions which kind of caused me to feel it on my end through the energetical cord which was never cut...
So I was thinking that something major is again happening in his life that might caused this feeling out of the sudden on my end.
So my question is, was he thinking about me? Am I reading in to it more than what it was - just a dream? Tell me what do you think?
Here is the chart:
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