I'm 28 now but years ago when I was 17-18, my anxiety became unbearable and I ended up becoming a recluse. My best friends abandoned me - everyone in my life disappeared when I developed severe OCD and anxiety and I became a serious loner (1st house Pluto). I spent a decade being a complete loner, not having anyone other then family in my life, missing out on friendships, relationships, dating, etc and I was dealing with allergies and severe mental health problems. I quit addictions, developed new addictions, learned a lot, felt hopeless at times, regained some strength near the end of the decade, etc etc and it was the hardest 10+ years of my life. I was suicidal for many of it.
But my question is, does this reclusion, these 10+ years of being a loner come up in my chart? I feel like I missed out so much in my teen years because I was dealing with so much "life stuff." It's only now where I finally have my drivers license. I couldn't drive, I couldn't talk to people, I couldn't make eye contact, I wore sunglasses a lot of the times, I had obsessive intrusive/negative thoughts, PTSD, depression, paranoia and social anxiety all at once. I even developed marijuana induced psychosis and that was actually the catapult for me to get proper treatment and get better once I came out of the psychosis. But it was years of reclusion, being alone and Hell.
What's pretty crazy is that even in Numerology my Life Path number mentions a time where I would be a recluse and retreat from society:
I just want to know - will I always be isolated from others? Feel lonely? I missed out on so much life and I don't want to miss out on any more. It's only since 2019 where I've started the process of coming out of this "loner phase." It sux because before any of this happened I was very social and out there. Any info in my chart about missing out on teen/early adult years? I don't want to miss out on any more of life.
But my question is, does this reclusion, these 10+ years of being a loner come up in my chart? I feel like I missed out so much in my teen years because I was dealing with so much "life stuff." It's only now where I finally have my drivers license. I couldn't drive, I couldn't talk to people, I couldn't make eye contact, I wore sunglasses a lot of the times, I had obsessive intrusive/negative thoughts, PTSD, depression, paranoia and social anxiety all at once. I even developed marijuana induced psychosis and that was actually the catapult for me to get proper treatment and get better once I came out of the psychosis. But it was years of reclusion, being alone and Hell.
What's pretty crazy is that even in Numerology my Life Path number mentions a time where I would be a recluse and retreat from society:
Number 31 - The Recluse--the Hermit - Those whose birth number is 31 should first read the analysis of the foregoing Compound number 30, because the 31 is very similar to it, except that the person represented by this number is even more self-contained, self-sufficient, lonely, and isolated from others. Quite often, genius is present, or at least high intelligence. At some unexpected time in the life, the glittering promises of the world will be suddenly rejected for the peace and quiet of Nature, or, if the response to the 31 is not quite that pronounced, there will nevertheless eventually be a degree of retreat from society in some manner. The 31 person is sometimes opinionated, an advocate of political change, while remaining fixed in personal habits. Even in a crowd, a 31 person will often feel a sense of loneliness and isolation.
I just want to know - will I always be isolated from others? Feel lonely? I missed out on so much life and I don't want to miss out on any more. It's only since 2019 where I've started the process of coming out of this "loner phase." It sux because before any of this happened I was very social and out there. Any info in my chart about missing out on teen/early adult years? I don't want to miss out on any more of life.