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  #1  
Unread 02-01-2020, 07:50 PM
saxjax saxjax is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 3
Struggle to find inner peace in life

Most of my life I've had great difficulty being comfortable with who I am, more than the average person. I do not know where it came from, my childhood was not perfect but wasn't bad either. I cannot recall outside influence (i.e school) having a strong pull and shape to what I've become. I tried to find the root cause in my childhood and feel lost connecting the dots to my issue. I feel like I am simply existing and it affects me everyday. I know I have sun square saturn, a indicator of great restriction in one's identity and life. What other aspects I have in my chart shaped up to who I am for the past 37 years on this planet? What else going on in my chart that will cause a positive shift, or will work in my favor soon to find great, genuine inner happiness?
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  #2  
Unread 02-02-2020, 04:13 AM
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waybread waybread is offline
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Re: Struggle to find inner peace in life

Is it fair to say that you are very other-directed?

I ask because with your caring Cancer sun in the 7th house, being in a committed relationship seems very important to you-- whether you actually are in one at the moment or not. Then your moon is in the 7th house of friends.

With Capricorn rising, you may come across as slightly reserved until people get to know you. It is ruled by Saturn; and with Saturn square your sun (juiced up by Mars) you may suffer from self-esteem problems. So what you value most-- rewarding, fulfilling relationships with other people-- seem like you're not able to have them.

On the other hand, your loaded 9th house also suggests your willingness to learn and grow in the area of developing a personal life philosophy. You may never find it, but in the process of searching, you will learn a tremendous amount. With your north node of personal growth conjunct your sun, your journey to self will probably continue all of your life.

May I propose that you have an identity? The searcher. The seeker.

So you know the old saying, "Life is a journey, not a destination." See if any of the quotations on my signature line are helpful.

Best wishes for your journey.
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I thought we went along paths--but it seems there are no paths. The going itself is the path.
C.S. Lewis, Perelandra.

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  #3  
Unread 02-02-2020, 06:34 AM
kshantaram kshantaram is offline
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Re: Struggle to find inner peace in life

Cap asc with ketu SNode, hyper-ambitious, hardworking,
attention catching looks, pain-injury-surgery head-knees etc;
jup-sat-ketu now transit cap asc opp sun-rahu,
impacting health-relationship,
prayers to Mother Goddess,
offer red flowers at the alter at home sat evenings;

separative Sun-rahu NNode sensitive cancer 7th,
toxic health issues abdominal-circulatory-heart-lungs;
foreign relationships, seeking well-to-do spouse, separative tendencies,
aptitude for politics, anesthetics, etc, rise-fall in life,
prayers for ancestors, observe fast No-moon evenings;
observe death anniversaries religiously,
wear brown hessonite over pendnat touching heart;
rahu now transit natal sun-rahu cancer 7th;
jup scorpio elevated aspect cancer 7th protective;


Moon sag 11th, 7th lord, gains through spouse, business partners;
philosophical, optimist, sportive, ambitious, impulsive,
gains through teaching, women, medicine, govt;
wear pearl over jup finger for gains;


Scorpio 10th, inimical for cap asc,
stress-delays in career-recognition,

inimical mars with sat libra 9th,
entrepreneurial-mech aptitudes with stress-delays;
negating career, retired attitude, institutional trainer etc;
thigh-kidney inflammations;

Jupiter over 9th inimical scorpio,
research-occult-advisory-university teaching aptitudes
but under stress-delays, liver issues etc;
prayers to saint of faith,
offer yellow flowers at the alter at home tues evenings;


mer-venus gemini lords 4/5/7 over 5th opp moon, prosperity through
literary-oratory-astro-instrumental music-humor-journalistic-business analyst aptitudes;
mer 6th, lawyerly aptitudes; mer own gemini 6th, success amidst adversity;



do promptly ack n share how true-insightful-helpful,
traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies-ideas etc



wishing you well, kshantaram
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Last edited by kshantaram; 02-02-2020 at 06:44 AM.
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  #4  
Unread 02-02-2020, 06:15 PM
saxjax saxjax is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 3
Re: Struggle to find inner peace in life

Quote:
Originally Posted by waybread View Post
Is it fair to say that you are very other-directed?

I ask because with your caring Cancer sun in the 7th house, being in a committed relationship seems very important to you-- whether you actually are in one at the moment or not. Then your moon is in the 7th house of friends.

With Capricorn rising, you may come across as slightly reserved until people get to know you. It is ruled by Saturn; and with Saturn square your sun (juiced up by Mars) you may suffer from self-esteem problems. So what you value most-- rewarding, fulfilling relationships with other people-- seem like you're not able to have them.

On the other hand, your loaded 9th house also suggests your willingness to learn and grow in the area of developing a personal life philosophy. You may never find it, but in the process of searching, you will learn a tremendous amount. With your north node of personal growth conjunct your sun, your journey to self will probably continue all of your life.

May I propose that you have an identity? The searcher. The seeker.

So you know the old saying, "Life is a journey, not a destination." See if any of the quotations on my signature line are helpful.

Best wishes for your journey.
Thank you so much! When you say very other directed, it means focusing my energy on others, specifically with someone I am in a relationship with? I guess you can sort of say that. I am guessing Saturn is blocking me from having very fulfilling relationships with others. Because sometimes I feel no matter how nice I am, people do not respond to me as well they do the average person. Are they sensing something about me? Nowadays, that's been my thought.

The 9th house makes a lot of sense. As for many years, I've been searching deep within to see if anything will click and change my outlook about life and myself for the better. Is that's good or bad seeking a journey to self and it continuing all my life? Are you implying I will never reach the point of true contentment? What do you mean by proposing a identity of the searcher or seeker? Sorry for all the questions.
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