Getting to the bottom of my IC and it's poison... Chiron? Pluto?

ariesisthebest

Well-known member
So, I'll get straight to the point. My family, my roots, have always held a prominent position in my psyche, but not always for the good. I have posted about this before, but I just need to know WHY. I just turned 19, and I'm at home from college visiting my family, and I noticed that just coming into contact with them, being in the same car, fills me with contempt. I have this tendancy to be very... mean to them. Like withholding affection, the occasional lash out, or just not talking to them. This only happens in their presence however. They themselves are far from innocent however, as they didn't exactly treat me the way a "normal" parent would treat their child, and I feel like i have this deep resentment for them that I just can't put my finger on, and it's on this particular trip that I decided to analyze my own behaviours towards them, and this is what I have seen. My relationship to my mother is... complex to say the least. I love her deeply, but at the same time, I have this deep feeling of contempt towards her that makes me sad to even admit. Even today, I was behaving... with contempt towards her even though she had tried her best to make my birthday as special as she could, she also admitted to me that the way that I treated her had cut into her deeply. And i also feel horrid for this. As for my father, we hardly talk, and... I honestly don't like him either because he is so... arrogant. He is extremely intelligent, but I always felt as if there was some sort of intellectual battle between us with my mother getting caught in the crossfire. My little brother is plauged by many issues to say the least, and you will be able to tell that he is indeed a troubed soul just from his chart. Geneology, psychology and music fascinate me. I am a firm believer in pan generation trauma, and I have dedicated much time scouring my family history, learning about the lives of my grand, great grand and great great grandparents in order to... find the origin of this poison. Oh, I was also the scapegoat of my house. I still continue to be. ONe time upon my arrival home, the shower nob completely stopped working, and everyone thought it was my fault until the repairman came and said that it was a buildup of calcium on the knob itself. Can someone please help me? This is unrealted, but do you think that I have the chart of a psychiatrist,philosopher or musician? I'm trying to find myself in college and opinions would be greatly appreciated. It feels weird... but I do feel like i could be a healer. I have been widely requested to do readings from friends, as well as family. (Astrology) I guess i just feel muddled and... confused. My chart is the first, and my brothers is the second.
 

Attachments

  • newestchartkris.jpg
    newestchartkris.jpg
    121.9 KB · Views: 26
  • jochart.jpg
    jochart.jpg
    119.1 KB · Views: 24

astrology02

Well-known member
Yes you're right 4th house which is related to home/family is very heavy. Chiron being so close to your IC is what makes you feel this way about your family. I can definitely see that there is a lot of pain related to the home life so it makes sense how you moved away to college.

Your chiron is also squaring your moon which is right on the ASC. This could point to maybe some issues with the mother? & because these 2 planets are both very close to the angles of your chart it will definitely be a prominent theme in your life.

The 4th house is scorpio so it adds another emotional undercurrent to the whole situation with your family. If your IC wasn't in a fixed sign like scorpio you wouldn't feel it so strongly.

Sorry just kind of rambling on but to add to all this your Pluto is also in your 4th house and is at the apex of a t square. And you don't have any planets in Taurus to alieviate the energy of the tsquare so a lot of these feelings are internalized until it becomes unbearable. If pluto or chiron made oppositions the energy would be expressed outwardly but in your chart a lot of it is under the surface.

And then because your moon is conjunct your Ascendant it shows your very sensitive to other people's emotion. Maybe even an empath. So when you are around your family even if they don't say anything you are like a sponge that picks up the negative energy and it can really affect your psyche. But this position is beneficial when it comes to your career. You're really able to tune into other people's needs and underlying motivations. So you would do well as a healer or psychologist because you don't just pick up on the words people say you can understand their deeper emotions.

But with the moon in that position there's also an issue of boundaries. You have to find a way to not take on the world's problems and seperate what are your own feelings vs. other people's. So that's probably why one of the reasons it's so hard to be around your family because you can sense there's underlying negativity/issues.

Although you may have a lot of challenges when it comes to your family - your career should be pretty secure because your 2nd house/2nd house ruler, 10th house have very little afflictions. There is a little affliction in the 6th house. But overall you should do well because they are all in earth signs and well grounded.

But yes your family will be a source of pain for you- but it also presents an opportunity for great healing. If you can work through all the pain it brings up you can emerge a stronger person than before. Maybe try a meditation to protect your aura- because if you can stop picking up their negativity it could make a huge difference.

Hope this helps :) Sorry I was kind of all over the place there but just wrote stuff as it came to me
 

ariesisthebest

Well-known member
Yes you're right 4th house which is related to home/family is very heavy. Chiron being so close to your IC is what makes you feel this way about your family. I can definitely see that there is a lot of pain related to the home life so it makes sense how you moved away to college.

Your chiron is also squaring your moon which is right on the ASC. This could point to maybe some issues with the mother? & because these 2 planets are both very close to the angles of your chart it will definitely be a prominent theme in your life.

The 4th house is scorpio so it adds another emotional undercurrent to the whole situation with your family. If your IC wasn't in a fixed sign like scorpio you wouldn't feel it so strongly.

Sorry just kind of rambling on but to add to all this your Pluto is also in your 4th house and is at the apex of a t square. And you don't have any planets in Taurus to alieviate the energy of the tsquare so a lot of these feelings are internalized until it becomes unbearable. If pluto or chiron made oppositions the energy would be expressed outwardly but in your chart a lot of it is under the surface.

And then because your moon is conjunct your Ascendant it shows your very sensitive to other people's emotion. Maybe even an empath. So when you are around your family even if they don't say anything you are like a sponge that picks up the negative energy and it can really affect your psyche. But this position is beneficial when it comes to your career. You're really able to tune into other people's needs and underlying motivations. So you would do well as a healer or psychologist because you don't just pick up on the words people say you can understand their deeper emotions.

But with the moon in that position there's also an issue of boundaries. You have to find a way to not take on the world's problems and seperate what are your own feelings vs. other people's. So that's probably why one of the reasons it's so hard to be around your family because you can sense there's underlying negativity/issues.

Although you may have a lot of challenges when it comes to your family - your career should be pretty secure because your 2nd house/2nd house ruler, 10th house have very little afflictions. There is a little affliction in the 6th house. But overall you should do well because they are all in earth signs and well grounded.

But yes your family will be a source of pain for you- but it also presents an opportunity for great healing. If you can work through all the pain it brings up you can emerge a stronger person than before. Maybe try a meditation to protect your aura- because if you can stop picking up their negativity it could make a huge difference.

Hope this helps :) Sorry I was kind of all over the place there but just wrote stuff as it came to me

When i think about it, you're analysis of my moon ascendant conjunct really does resonate with me. I am, always have been a very emotional person, I know i am an empath, i have gotten much better at keeping to my own problems however. A couple years back, going to the hospital to visit my grandfather was... a little overwhelming. I feel very... profoundly about the past, and I believe that it affects us much more than we believe. Traumas, and hardships are often passed down throughout the generations, but are so deeply embedded in our psyches, we often don't know that they are there. That's why I deeply analyzed my families history to see where the problems we have originate. I have been deeply considering a career in psychiatry, but I love classical music, as I am a trombonist. I just can't seem to make a decision. :/
 
Top