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Unread 11-07-2017, 08:19 AM
unlawfulfalafel unlawfulfalafel is offline
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Need help understanding the end of an extremely important relationship

This was a 3+ year relationship with someone I care about more than I thought was humanly possible. It started when we both were entering major Saturn transits (Saturn return for me; Saturn opposition for him) and ended right around the time those transits finished up.

Our breakup was ugly, abrupt, and so painfully angry, but later opened the doors to some of the most emotionally healing communication I've ever had. Very much symbolized by the Chiron conjunct Venus/Jupiter in synastry. I'm now in the process of reflecting on the relationship, honoring its gifts, and understanding why it ended. We endured an unbelievable amount of trauma together (deaths, finances, physical endangerment, health crises, etc.) and as a consequence, spent our resources battling hardship after hardship instead of nurturing the relationship and each other.

Part of the problem was that despite our conjunct moons, there was an emotional barrier caused by mutual insecurities and fear, along with difficulty expressing the great amount of love that existed between us (possibly the 0'04 square between Saturn and Venus in the composite?). I also think that my sun being unaspected by his planets, and a bunch of his planets being in my 12th house, contributed to a sense that we didn't really "see" or know each other despite being together for so long. Neither of us could quite get past our walls when we were together, though ironically we were able to start tearing them down after we broke up.

I would love any input about what shows up in our charts, and whether it's healthy for us to remain in each other's lives at least as friends. I love this person in a way I've never experienced before (I've often had the thought that I was his mother in a past life and he somehow died young under my care -- leading to a desire to protect him and make life safe for him this time around). I also want to do what's best for both of our personal and spiritual growth, even if that means fully letting go.

Any insight would be incredibly appreciated. Thank you!
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  #2  
Unread 11-28-2017, 10:22 AM
Cancergirl0 Cancergirl0 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unlawfulfalafel View Post
This was a 3+ year relationship with someone I care about more than I thought was humanly possible. It started when we both were entering major Saturn transits (Saturn return for me; Saturn opposition for him) and ended right around the time those transits finished up.

Our breakup was ugly, abrupt, and so painfully angry, but later opened the doors to some of the most emotionally healing communication I've ever had. Very much symbolized by the Chiron conjunct Venus/Jupiter in synastry. I'm now in the process of reflecting on the relationship, honoring its gifts, and understanding why it ended. We endured an unbelievable amount of trauma together (deaths, finances, physical endangerment, health crises, etc.) and as a consequence, spent our resources battling hardship after hardship instead of nurturing the relationship and each other.

Part of the problem was that despite our conjunct moons, there was an emotional barrier caused by mutual insecurities and fear, along with difficulty expressing the great amount of love that existed between us (possibly the 0'04 square between Saturn and Venus in the composite?). I also think that my sun being unaspected by his planets, and a bunch of his planets being in my 12th house, contributed to a sense that we didn't really "see" or know each other despite being together for so long. Neither of us could quite get past our walls when we were together, though ironically we were able to start tearing them down after we broke up.

I would love any input about what shows up in our charts, and whether it's healthy for us to remain in each other's lives at least as friends. I love this person in a way I've never experienced before (I've often had the thought that I was his mother in a past life and he somehow died young under my care -- leading to a desire to protect him and make life safe for him this time around). I also want to do what's best for both of our personal and spiritual growth, even if that means fully letting go.

Any insight would be incredibly appreciated. Thank you!
im new to synastry but looks like his saturn is not aspecting any of your inner planets while his uranus is opposite your venus. I think uranus is responsible for the sudden break up.
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Unread 12-01-2017, 02:53 AM
rahu rahu is offline
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Re: Need help understanding the end of an extremely important relationship

hi unlawfulfalafel

the composite chart has quite a few unfavorable aspects . so the question seems to be why you fell for him.the answer seems to be a combination of you being "swept off your feet while at the same time not recognizing his deceptive and manipulative desires.
sedna is on the descendant , square to mars which gives a feeling of truth in a relationship but the Saturn/neptune square's midpoint is conjunct the ascendant. Saturn square to Neptune is a red flag that he is being deceptive. very often relationships that start on the internet have this aspect but the Saturn/Neptune midpoints opposed to sedna is a dead give away that he was insincere from the beginning.
there is a mercury/Orcus/sun/nessus/moon stellium which is extremely controlling and shows deep emotional; blocks or issues blocks.so deep that i have to believe that you were brought up in a very domineering and restrictive family environment to accept the "darkness " shown. from youuser name, i thought you may come from a middle eastern heritage where the father is very controlling.
there are of course several positive emotional aspects but these tend to be very illusionary, that is you chose to see and feel things that were not there or the least misrepresented.
venus is opposed to Neptune and trine to Pluto and sextile to Eros.
this pattern can give a deep feeling of affection and often shows a strong healing sensation such that bad past emotional interactions seemed to be soothed of "healed" by his attention.
but venus is also square to Saturn . this can give a feeling of devotion but with Venus opposed to Neptune, this can also indicate you were seeing him thru rose colored glasses.
i think what really blinded you was the usual emotional attraction. venus is conjunct the vertex which can give a "spiritual" or other worldly feeling to your emotions this aspect gives strong emotional and sexual attraction but it is very intense and the other worldly feelings can make you feel he was a soulmate or a god send for you emotionally. This aspect gives such a intense attraction that,this by itself may be why you were so enchanted that you did not see his true nature, though this would be difficult by any account because of his deceptive emotional facade.
in addition the venus/Uranus midpoint is conjunct to the south node/lilith conjunction.
this pattern shows that there was an immediate ,intense ,electric emotional and sexual attraction that seemed to emanate from your deepest emotional recesses. this aspect gives intense passion but it also shows a interactionsthat will peak and then quickly subside. with the node involved there was a distinct "psychic" element thatagain can give the feeling that he was your soulmate. these last two emotional aspects could easily account for why you were floating so high in theecstasy of love, that you totally disregarded the actual abusive and cold nature of his affection.
still it seems that you must have had bad relationship experience before, because you disregarded so much negativity or it may be he was the consummate liar or cad.
the venus/sun midpoint is conjunct to the eros/pscyhe midpoint which gave a extremely idealsitic, sensitive feeling of love. this aspect by itself is quite emotionally overwhelming and would again explain how you did not sense his real nature.
but still with the saturn/pluto midpoint square to the sun/Venus and eros/psyche midpoints, his love had a hard edge. this is a pattern of emotional abuse. That is he used your affection for him , for his own desire.
the ixion/sedna midpoint is conjunct to mars which implies again he coerced you emotionally. this aspect can actually show emotional and physical abuse. so he had a cruel dark side that must have come out once in a while.as sedna shows truth in a relationship, this pattern shows he flat lied to you and had a cold threatening personality at times.
the sun/moon/mercury/orcus/nessus stellium is opposed to the jupiter/juno midpoint which shows that he used the promise of marriage to keep you "enslaved" to his abusive feelings.
again this chart suggests you accepted his domineering control of your emotions but did not see the red flags that he was only using you.
in the end the relationship had not chance to survive because Jupiter is square to Uranus. this aspect virtually always lead to a sudden breakup no matter how intensely in love you might have been.
the south node transited Jupiter and squared Uranus in october so the relationship ended in the recent past

rahu
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