Arian Maverick
Well-known member
Nope, everything stayed status quo...the shift in houses didn't affect the distance of the planets from the nodal axis
Aquarian Maverick
I Have Been Using The Wrong Natal Chart This Entire Time!!!
- Thread starter Arian Maverick
- Start date
Nope, everything stayed status quo...the shift in houses didn't affect the distance of the planets from the nodal axis
Aquarian Maverick
Arian Maverick
Well-known member
Thanks! I simply typed "Aries" into Google Image Search :mrgreen:
Beth
wilsontc
Staff member
Discovering the "new you"!
Maverick,
First of all, I think you can keep at least half of your name!
In my opinion, Aquarius energy is NOT about being a "Maverick" (i.e., "someone who exhibits great independence in thought and action"...according to a Google search! ). Aquarius energy is the energy of REstructuring...of taking the "tried and true" and either changing it in some way...or completely destroying it. True "maverick" energy has ALWAYS been Aries: the pioneer, the explorer, the adventurer, the beginning, the quester, etc. Aries energy BEGINS the entire zodiac, it is the energy of simply being ourselves without any "correct" social behavior attached to it. It is the raw energy of "being"...and what could be more "maverick" than that?
On to the important things...your new chart! First of all...congratulations! you have a massive, bouncing baby square between Aries energy (being, also action) and Capricorn (duty, also authority, structure, restriction)! This almost GUARANTEES that you will feel "restrained" somehow by authorities around you. However, it also give you the opportunity to BECOME the authority, once you learn how to structure your actions in a responsible way. From all you have said, it seems that being "responsible" has been a BIG challenge in you life...one that you seem to be meeting rather well. Taking on the challenges life and hands you and working with them in a mature, "adult" way.
That's a BIG part of your chart. The other is one of the 2 Yods which your new time kindly left you. it's a Yod to Scorpio (transformation) modifying Pluto (transformation) in the 8th house (transformation). So you get the idea that your life will be about "transforming" your experiences in the typical Plutonian "death and rebirth" way (i.e., the rising of the Phoenix out of the ashes). And, speaking of Pluto, transiting (planets in the sky) Pluto is conjuncting (energy is combined with) your Midheaven (outer world), indicating that now is a time when you will be transforming your entire approach to the outer world, throwing out those ideas, thoughts, people, strategies that don't work, and keeping the ways to interact with the outer world that DO work. The result...more power in the outer world. But Pluto always makes you work for things, so you are and will be EARNING this power over the next several years (Pluto has LONG transits! ).
Your old pal transiting Uranus (friends, also restructuring) is helping with this restructuring process at this time. And there are other easy transiting energies helping you handle this Pluto transformation.
The other Yod is focused on...what else for a person with 4 planets in Aries (ruled by Mars)...Mars! Just to remind you of your Martian Maverick ways! So Maverick you were and Maverick you still are...you are just MORE of a Maverick than you originally thought. The adult world, growing up, the final frontier! It's a landscape that is new, and maybe a little scary, but you have the power and energy to take it on.
Vising and revising,
Tim
Maverick,
First of all, I think you can keep at least half of your name!
In my opinion, Aquarius energy is NOT about being a "Maverick" (i.e., "someone who exhibits great independence in thought and action"...according to a Google search! ). Aquarius energy is the energy of REstructuring...of taking the "tried and true" and either changing it in some way...or completely destroying it. True "maverick" energy has ALWAYS been Aries: the pioneer, the explorer, the adventurer, the beginning, the quester, etc. Aries energy BEGINS the entire zodiac, it is the energy of simply being ourselves without any "correct" social behavior attached to it. It is the raw energy of "being"...and what could be more "maverick" than that?On to the important things...your new chart! First of all...congratulations! you have a massive, bouncing baby square between Aries energy (being, also action) and Capricorn (duty, also authority, structure, restriction)!
This almost GUARANTEES that you will feel "restrained" somehow by authorities around you. However, it also give you the opportunity to BECOME the authority, once you learn how to structure your actions in a responsible way. From all you have said, it seems that being "responsible" has been a BIG challenge in you life...one that you seem to be meeting rather well. Taking on the challenges life and hands you and working with them in a mature, "adult" way.That's a BIG part of your chart. The other is one of the 2 Yods which your new time kindly left you. it's a Yod to Scorpio (transformation) modifying Pluto (transformation) in the 8th house (transformation). So you get the idea that your life will be about "transforming" your experiences in the typical Plutonian "death and rebirth" way (i.e., the rising of the Phoenix out of the ashes). And, speaking of Pluto, transiting (planets in the sky) Pluto is conjuncting (energy is combined with) your Midheaven (outer world), indicating that now is a time when you will be transforming your entire approach to the outer world, throwing out those ideas, thoughts, people, strategies that don't work, and keeping the ways to interact with the outer world that DO work. The result...more power in the outer world. But Pluto always makes you work for things, so you are and will be EARNING this power over the next several years (Pluto has LONG transits!
).Your old pal transiting Uranus (friends, also restructuring) is helping with this restructuring process at this time. And there are other easy transiting energies helping you handle this Pluto transformation.
The other Yod is focused on...what else for a person with 4 planets in Aries (ruled by Mars)...Mars! Just to remind you of your Martian Maverick ways!
So Maverick you were and Maverick you still are...you are just MORE of a Maverick than you originally thought. The adult world, growing up, the final frontier! It's a landscape that is new, and maybe a little scary, but you have the power and energy to take it on.Vising and revising,
Tim
Dear AM--
You'll always be a Maverick to us! I agree with one of the posts, that your Uranus conjunct to the Midheaven made you seem like an Aquarian, in spirit. :roll:
As for why THIS is the time when you learned of a different birth time, I agree with Kite -- your Ascendant being about to move into a new sign was significant.
Also, remember that post I made about Pluto (I don't know how to get there, so I can't offer a link to that posting), the focal planet of one of your Yods? Your prog Moon is conjuncting Pluto, and transiting Jupiter is conjuncting Pluto also. Pluto is the "man of the hour" on your natal chart.
You're in the middle of some kind of Yod lesson :? -- related to you learning about your own power. :twisted:
BTW-- You aren't really just a triple Aries :| :| :| -- you are a quintiple Aries, when you count your Ascendant.
--------------
How does this sound, for a short version on you and your new chart:
You (1) approach things in a way which is nurturing -- almost motherly -- but still (2) fun, and much of your way of life revolves around demonstrating yourself(3) , like a teacher or a salesperson or a stand up comic -- but the way you define yourself in the world (4) is, you take yourself pretty seriously(5) , and you have your own quirky, eccentric, independent (6) way of doing things, which somehow integrates your innate spiritual knowledgable self (7).
Okay, here are the footnotes: 1-- Moon conjunct Asc; 2-- many 1st house (Aries house) planets which are also Aries planets; 3-- 1st house; 4 -- Midheaven; 5 - Midhaven is in Capricorn, the sign of the executive; 6 --Uranus conjunct to Midheaven; 7 -- Midheaven opposes Chiron (hey! I've been reading up on Chiron!).
----------------
I did my husband's chart for two or three years before realizing I had screwed up casting it. He was born during WWII, and they had "wartime" which is like daylight savings time. That one hour of difference made him suddenly have a bunch of 12th house planets instead of so many 1st house planets.
The only thing that topped that, for me, was when i was doing genealogy on our family during the Civil War and for a brief hour or so, I believed that maybe my great great grandmother might have been African American. It's one thing to tell yourself you are a very open-minded Lily-White person, but it is something else altogether to suddenly wonder if you are having all these sympathetic, liberal thoughts about your own race. I had just discovered that the gr-gr grandmother I descended from was illegitimate -- along with her four siblings. 8) And then I had to double check to make sure they weren't also called "mulatto." I felt like a terrible bigot for being so stunned at what a "close call" it was, but as it turned out, she was white. So then I could go back to being 
"safely" Caucasian.
So, okay, we won't kick you out of the Aquarian club, so long as you continue to define yourself in the world in a way which is a little quirky.
-- C. J.
You'll always be a Maverick to us! I agree with one of the posts, that your Uranus conjunct to the Midheaven made you seem like an Aquarian, in spirit. :roll:
As for why THIS is the time when you learned of a different birth time, I agree with Kite -- your Ascendant being about to move into a new sign was significant.
Also, remember that post I made about Pluto (I don't know how to get there, so I can't offer a link to that posting), the focal planet of one of your Yods? Your prog Moon is conjuncting Pluto, and transiting Jupiter is conjuncting Pluto also. Pluto is the "man of the hour" on your natal chart.
You're in the middle of some kind of Yod lesson :? -- related to you learning about your own power. :twisted:
BTW-- You aren't really just a triple Aries :| :| :| -- you are a quintiple Aries, when you count your Ascendant.
--------------
How does this sound, for a short version on you and your new chart:
You (1) approach things in a way which is nurturing -- almost motherly -- but still (2) fun, and much of your way of life revolves around demonstrating yourself(3) , like a teacher or a salesperson or a stand up comic -- but the way you define yourself in the world (4) is, you take yourself pretty seriously(5) , and you have your own quirky, eccentric, independent (6) way of doing things, which somehow integrates your innate spiritual knowledgable self (7).
Okay, here are the footnotes: 1-- Moon conjunct Asc; 2-- many 1st house (Aries house) planets which are also Aries planets; 3-- 1st house; 4 -- Midheaven; 5 - Midhaven is in Capricorn, the sign of the executive; 6 --Uranus conjunct to Midheaven; 7 -- Midheaven opposes Chiron (hey! I've been reading up on Chiron!).
----------------
I did my husband's chart for two or three years before realizing I had screwed up casting it. He was born during WWII, and they had "wartime" which is like daylight savings time. That one hour of difference made him suddenly have a bunch of 12th house planets instead of so many 1st house planets.
The only thing that topped that, for me, was when i was doing genealogy on our family during the Civil War and for a brief hour or so, I believed that maybe my great great grandmother might have been African American. It's one thing to tell yourself you are a very open-minded Lily-White person, but it is something else altogether to suddenly wonder if you are having all these sympathetic, liberal thoughts about your own race. I had just discovered that the gr-gr grandmother I descended from was illegitimate -- along with her four siblings. 8) And then I had to double check to make sure they weren't also called "mulatto." I felt like
a terrible bigot for being so stunned at what a "close call" it was, but as it turned out, she was white. So then I could go back to being "safely" Caucasian.So, okay, we won't kick you out of the Aquarian club, so long as you continue to define yourself in the world in a way which is a little quirky.
-- C. J.
Frisiangal
Well-known member
Hi Beth,
How can you feel lost about an identity that was never yours but only an image you had of yourself that did not fit with whom you really are? Deep down you must know what you were longing for that allowed you to do so?
Your 'plight' made me think of Black Moon Lilith. Yep, there it is again.... transiting BML exact degree inconjunct your Moon in Aries and square your Uranus, that are part of your grand cross with Chiron and BML in the cardinal signs. They are now in the cardinal houses of your new chart, as well. Be thankful that BML revealed this unexpected gift to you at such a young age. You're an original; NEVER allow yourself to feel and be a copy of anyone else by trying to fit in to find acceptance. That's the message behind BML. 'BE MYSELF AND WHO I AM'; that's the message your 'new and true' chart is imparting. Rather poignant that, somehow, your 'location' always told you so anyway
F.
How can you feel lost about an identity that was never yours but only an image you had of yourself that did not fit with whom you really are?
Deep down you must know what you were longing for that allowed you to do so?Your 'plight' made me think of Black Moon Lilith. Yep, there it is again.... transiting BML exact degree inconjunct your Moon in Aries and square your Uranus, that are part of your grand cross with Chiron and BML in the cardinal signs. They are now in the cardinal houses of your new chart, as well. Be thankful that BML revealed this unexpected gift to you at such a young age. You're an original; NEVER allow yourself to feel and be a copy of anyone else by trying to fit in to find acceptance. That's the message behind BML. 'BE MYSELF AND WHO I AM'; that's the message your 'new and true' chart is imparting. Rather poignant that, somehow, your 'location' always told you so anyway
F.
Yes, well said, Frisiangal!
Beth, this whole thing had a meaning: one should never identify itself with anything exterior, no matter what that is: a scientific degree, a job position, not even an astrological identity.
The natal chart is not meant to be another mask that we put on, but only a tool for better insight. You just happened to use the wrong tool, that's it. A little accurate tool, to be exact (2 hours off). Think at all those people out there who don't even know whether it was day or night when they were born.
So, not "oh, poor Beth", but "oh, lucky you!!". Cheer up, young lady, life has just begun ...
Beth, this whole thing had a meaning: one should never identify itself with anything exterior, no matter what that is: a scientific degree, a job position, not even an astrological identity.
The natal chart is not meant to be another mask that we put on, but only a tool for better insight. You just happened to use the wrong tool, that's it. A little accurate tool, to be exact (2 hours off). Think at all those people out there who don't even know whether it was day or night when they were born.
So, not "oh, poor Beth", but "oh, lucky you!!". Cheer up, young lady, life has just begun ...
Summery Joy
Well-known member
Hey Beth,
OK. I have never really studied your old natal chart before, but I gotta tell ya, from your posts, I never really got an Aquarian vibe. You always struck me as a mix of Aries and Virgo.
Use the current Mercury Rx energy and re-check the information you got about your personality using the Aquarius ASC. You will find that they don't change much now that you know that your ASC is in Aries. Don't forget that there's a platick sextile between Aries and Aquarius. I mean, maybe your behavior is not "unexpected" but it’d probably is quite spontaneous. Unexpected and spontaneous have a lot in common, am I not correct?
The one placement that puzzles me though is that old stellium in the 12th house. Did you really relate to that? Because Aquarius and Aries may have similarities, but a stellium in the 12th house is quite different from that in the 1st!
Anyway, I just wanna tell you that it's always a great experience to rectify your chart. I had to do that myself because my parents had given me an incorrect time of birth. A difference between you and me though is that some things did not feel right and I kept trying different birth times near the one they had given me until I found one the resonated. Although some placements that I had related to changed with the new chart, I found new ones that were similar in effect in many ways.
So just relax and enjoy the experience. Not everyone gets the chance to meet their new self and learn something different.
OK. I have never really studied your old natal chart before, but I gotta tell ya, from your posts, I never really got an Aquarian vibe. You always struck me as a mix of Aries and Virgo.
Use the current Mercury Rx energy and re-check the information you got about your personality using the Aquarius ASC. You will find that they don't change much now that you know that your ASC is in Aries. Don't forget that there's a platick sextile between Aries and Aquarius. I mean, maybe your behavior is not "unexpected" but it’d probably is quite spontaneous. Unexpected and spontaneous have a lot in common, am I not correct?
The one placement that puzzles me though is that old stellium in the 12th house. Did you really relate to that? Because Aquarius and Aries may have similarities, but a stellium in the 12th house is quite different from that in the 1st!
Anyway, I just wanna tell you that it's always a great experience to rectify your chart. I had to do that myself because my parents had given me an incorrect time of birth. A difference between you and me though is that some things did not feel right and I kept trying different birth times near the one they had given me until I found one the resonated. Although some placements that I had related to changed with the new chart, I found new ones that were similar in effect in many ways.
So just relax and enjoy the experience. Not everyone gets the chance to meet their new self and learn something different.
Arian Maverick
Well-known member
Actually, that's one of the things I miss most about my incorrect natal chart...I feel like I have all of these restrictions festering in my subconscious, and now I no longer know how to explain them. Like others have mentioned, I should be thrilled at the prospect of redefining myself and discovering who I truly am, but a part of me still mourns for the Chart That Never Was.
That's one of the reasons why I don't feel like a quintuple Aries...shouldn't I have the ability to never regret, to never look back? I really thought my Aquarius Ascendent explained my inquiring nature and intellect, because I never thought of Aries as being a particularly intellectual sign.
Here is the sabian symbol associated with my new name, in case anyone is interested:
Arian Maverick
P.S. Thanks for the new feature, Radu! :mrgreen:
Ihatelawschool
Well-known member
you have so much cardinal sign influence in your chart-you must be a real go-getter!
Elianah
Well-known member
Hi Beth,
Look up Eugene McCarthy, a fellow Aries. An intellectual, a politician, a peace activist. He was a presidential contender at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. He just recently died.
Inquiring minds come in all signs. It's just the judgements one puts on the sign that makes it seem less so.
Besides, Aries ranks first in Mathematics and Invention/Engineering according to lexiline.com. If you want to see their whole list, go to
http://www.lexiline.com/lexiline/lexi123.htm
Hope this helps your blue funk lift a little.
Elianah
Look up Eugene McCarthy, a fellow Aries. An intellectual, a politician, a peace activist. He was a presidential contender at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. He just recently died.
Inquiring minds come in all signs. It's just the judgements one puts on the sign that makes it seem less so.
Besides, Aries ranks first in Mathematics and Invention/Engineering according to lexiline.com. If you want to see their whole list, go to
http://www.lexiline.com/lexiline/lexi123.htm
Hope this helps your blue funk lift a little.
Elianah
Kite
Well-known member
All is not lost Maverick. Take a look at your 9th Harmonic chart and you will see that you have Mars, Uranus and Vesta conjunct in Aquarius in the 11th house (even though you're not supposed to read the houses )
This means you have a Novile aspect in your chart betwen Mars and your Uranus/Vesta conjunction (dedicated to Uranus).
The Mars/Uranus Novile is interpreted on the Astrology Weekly site as:
Mars novile Uranus: Rejoicing in one's ability to act in original and independent ways; rejoicing in one's physical uniqueness; able to affect others with one's enthusiasm and joy of life.
Sounds like Aquarian Maverick to me!
Kite
)This means you have a Novile aspect in your chart betwen Mars and your Uranus/Vesta conjunction (dedicated to Uranus).
The Mars/Uranus Novile is interpreted on the Astrology Weekly site as:
Mars novile Uranus: Rejoicing in one's ability to act in original and independent ways; rejoicing in one's physical uniqueness; able to affect others with one's enthusiasm and joy of life.
Sounds like Aquarian Maverick to me!
Kite
Arian Maverick
Well-known member
That's one way of putting it... :roll:
Why do I have such an overwhelming Aries influence? Is it some major karma concerning self-esteem from a past life? I despise Aries, I really do...it's against everything I've always considered myself to be. I could haved dealt with the Sun/Venus/Mercury stellium, but the Ascendent too? That's just WAY too much energy for me to handle.
I may be considered by some to be the pefect Aries: my birthday is situated at the midpoint between the Pisces and Taurus cusps (April 4/April 5)...both Mercury and Venus make a superior conjunction with the Sun in my natal chart...my Ascendent is near the Zero Aries Point...my moon is even in Aries, for goodness' sake! In other words, my Higher Self did an excellent job of choosing the exact type of person I do NOT want to be!
I'm receiving signals (it's 12:12 PM as I type) so I know I must be right track, but I feel like I'm doing everything wrong! Just ignore my rant, I have absolutely NO idea how I feel or what I'm talking about.
EDIT: In an attempt to rid myself of this unwanted depression, can everyone here help me find some of the advantages of my new natal chart?
Here's something interesting I found:
Arian Maverick
MidnightDevil
Well-known member
So.... you were building your personality around a chart?
Arian Maverick
Well-known member
I suppose I was...it's just that my old natal chart (particularly the Aquarian Ascendent) seemed to describe me so well that I never questioned the accuracy of my birth time. But at least I know the truth now
EDIT: Here is my new favorite quote, which I found on an obscure blog called Tales of a Pocket Spider
“WOW...TRIPLE ARIES! You must be quite a dynamic fellow with a strong personality and sense of self. Can you power a room with your energy alone? Like...plug light bulbs into your fingertips and...POW! ILLUMINATION! I think it would take a triple Aries to do that.”
Arian Maverick
Oh don’t despise Aries, it’s a brilliant sign in many ways. Aries actually can be quite quick-witted, the problem usually is that Aries acts before (s)he thinks, but the problem here is simply being too impatient. Also you have your Mercury conjunct at least Sun and Venus and sextile Mars. It seems you have lots of stuff in Capricorn as well, so it is possible that you don’t have the problem with acting before thinking, as Capricorn is a pretty careful sign. The first thing that comes to my mind when I look at your chart is that you’re a very ambitious person who will do well in life.
I used to really dislike the strong virgo-influence on my chart, I felt like it wasn’t really me and it was restricting me, until I learned to see the sign in a new way. Now I’m quite happy being Asc/Venus/Mars-Virgo, though sometimes I still feel like I'd like to change my rising sign.
I used to really dislike the strong virgo-influence on my chart, I felt like it wasn’t really me and it was restricting me, until I learned to see the sign in a new way. Now I’m quite happy being Asc/Venus/Mars-Virgo, though sometimes I still feel like I'd like to change my rising sign.
Arian Maverick
Well-known member
Thanks, Missa!
I admit that I'm finally beginning to enjoy some of the house/sign alignments in my chart...Aries on my first cusp, Taurus on my second, Gemini on my third, Cancer on my fourth...it stops there, but then it picks up with Libra on my seventh, Scorpio on my eighth, Sagittarius on my ninth, and Capricorn on my tenth!
And that eighth house Pluto in Scorpio is wicked! :twisted:
Arien Maverick
I admit that I'm finally beginning to enjoy some of the house/sign alignments in my chart...Aries on my first cusp, Taurus on my second, Gemini on my third, Cancer on my fourth...it stops there, but then it picks up with Libra on my seventh, Scorpio on my eighth, Sagittarius on my ninth, and Capricorn on my tenth!
And that eighth house Pluto in Scorpio is wicked! :twisted:
Arien Maverick
Lunar Pisces
Well-known member
Sorry for coming in so late to this conversation. I had wanted to say to you earlier that you didn't strike me as very Aquarian/Uranian, but vastly more Arian. I was quite reluctant to say anything before, seeing you had some much invested with your earlier preceived identity. I have a very strong Uranian theme in my chart (Uranian singleton in 1st trining Aqua Mars) and well, my astro friend, it takes one to know one, and I just wasn't seeing you as one of the Uranus club. Now the Mars club, yes, I definitely saw that beofre, and now my earlier intuiitions make tons of sense.
Now may I say something that probably isn't going to sound very nice? The thing about Aries is that it gets ideas in its head and sticks to them, regardless to whatever evidence is to the contrary. Aries is strong-willed, but not a sophisticated thinker - whether Arians admit it or now, they are often resistant to new ideas because mentally, they have trouble coping with such change. Change in pre-formed convictions like this one regarding your chart actually can be pretty tramuatic, because Aries doesn't handle changing convictions and beliefs - espeically about one's identity - well, even in the best of circumstances. Remember that Aries is the "child" of the Zodiac, and like for any young child, sudden change isn't easy. It tends to arouse all sorts of fears and insecurities that Aries isn't very well-equipped to understand. While Aries is bold, pushy, lippy, and energetic, it can be riddled with its on types of anxieties, just as any child, and particualrly about identity and self-worth.
It would very good for you right now to invest your energies in activities that reaffirm your sense of self and identity - in particular ones away from astrology. Friends, other hobbies, creative pursuits, work - whatever does it for you. This also would be a good time to touch base with your parents and/or any older siblings, or any one else who acts as a parental or older brother/sister figure in your life. Or simply seek of friends or associations who you deem as mature or wise. Periods of change and reexamination can be very unstable times for Arians. This is compounded by the Arian inclination to go charging into a problem without a real attack plan, and too often they realize that they've taken the wrong approach only after they created more problems for themselves. So it's good to have things and people around you to guide you and keep you centered and grounded.
Now may I say something that probably isn't going to sound very nice? The thing about Aries is that it gets ideas in its head and sticks to them, regardless to whatever evidence is to the contrary. Aries is strong-willed, but not a sophisticated thinker - whether Arians admit it or now, they are often resistant to new ideas because mentally, they have trouble coping with such change. Change in pre-formed convictions like this one regarding your chart actually can be pretty tramuatic, because Aries doesn't handle changing convictions and beliefs - espeically about one's identity - well, even in the best of circumstances. Remember that Aries is the "child" of the Zodiac, and like for any young child, sudden change isn't easy. It tends to arouse all sorts of fears and insecurities that Aries isn't very well-equipped to understand. While Aries is bold, pushy, lippy, and energetic, it can be riddled with its on types of anxieties, just as any child, and particualrly about identity and self-worth.
It would very good for you right now to invest your energies in activities that reaffirm your sense of self and identity - in particular ones away from astrology. Friends, other hobbies, creative pursuits, work - whatever does it for you. This also would be a good time to touch base with your parents and/or any older siblings, or any one else who acts as a parental or older brother/sister figure in your life. Or simply seek of friends or associations who you deem as mature or wise. Periods of change and reexamination can be very unstable times for Arians. This is compounded by the Arian inclination to go charging into a problem without a real attack plan, and too often they realize that they've taken the wrong approach only after they created more problems for themselves. So it's good to have things and people around you to guide you and keep you centered and grounded.
Arian Maverick
Well-known member
Thanks for your honest advice, Lunar Pisces.
This has been an incredibly difficult experience to me, as I have been forced to see myself as a different person than I thought I was. Perhaps I was simply deluding myself; after all, I have been in denial of my Arian traits since my very first encounter with the astrology and the zodiac. What does one do when they detest the very essence of who they are? I've always wanted to be a native of a more intellectual sign because this is something I once valued over all other human gifts or characteristics--even kindness or empathy. I thought myself to be worthless if I did not prove myself to have a brilliant mind or exceptional academic skills. Aries has so many negative characteristics, and I fear I embody them all. I despise these weaknesses, particularly the role of Aries as the baby of the zodiac. I am the youngest child in my family, but I never truly identified myself with this role.
You inquired about any brothers and sisters. Well, I only have one brother, and as you may know from my previous posts on this forum, he is severely autistic. I suspect he may be able to recognize some very basic word patterns, but he certainly cannot read; he does not even possess the verbal communication skills of a three-year-old. He can dress himself, but he cannot tell if his clothes are on backwards. He can certainly feed himself, but we would never trust him to use a stove. In other words, our childhood was comprised of reversed roles and I instinctively, intuitively knew my duty; I often referred to myself as his "big little sister."
You may be wondering if I have a point to make, or if I am simply rambling. Well, I don't consider myself to be a child; I don't believe I've ever had this mindset. I clearly recall my mother asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I did not hesitate in my answer. I wanted to be a doctor, so I could find a cure for autism. I believe I was five years old at the time...innocent, yes, but I had an inkling of the pain my brother's ailment caused to my family and I vowed to rectify the situation in whatever way I could.
I could continue with lots of other major and minor turning points in my life, such as the day I told my mother that I could no longer go outside to play with the neighborhood children because I had to focus on my school work or my initiation into the Gifted and Talented program at my school, which I later professed to my mother was the best day of my life. I could also expound at length about my increasing desperation throughout the years, but that is a discussion for another time.
I am not a child, and I don't think that I ever was. In this way, I don't think that Aries suits me at all...I have had too many close encounters and have seen too much pain. I understand that everyone must go through their trials regardless of their astrological association, but I simply feel that I do not relate to the Aries energy on many levels. There is something deeper than all of the childness associated with the sign...and that's another thing. I hate the stereotypes, the labels slapped on to each sign. I feel that Aries doesn't get the respect it should.
I am unsure if this makes any sense to anyone besides--or perhaps even exluding--myself, but I simply don't care anymore. Typecast me if you wish, I am well accustomed to it. I'm just another dumb blonde, just another angst-ridden teen, right?
Perhaps I should delete this message, have it disappear into the obscurity of my computer's memory rather than posted for the entire world to see. But I don't think I even care enough to censor myself anymore.
Beth
This has been an incredibly difficult experience to me, as I have been forced to see myself as a different person than I thought I was. Perhaps I was simply deluding myself; after all, I have been in denial of my Arian traits since my very first encounter with the astrology and the zodiac. What does one do when they detest the very essence of who they are? I've always wanted to be a native of a more intellectual sign because this is something I once valued over all other human gifts or characteristics--even kindness or empathy. I thought myself to be worthless if I did not prove myself to have a brilliant mind or exceptional academic skills. Aries has so many negative characteristics, and I fear I embody them all. I despise these weaknesses, particularly the role of Aries as the baby of the zodiac. I am the youngest child in my family, but I never truly identified myself with this role.
You inquired about any brothers and sisters. Well, I only have one brother, and as you may know from my previous posts on this forum, he is severely autistic. I suspect he may be able to recognize some very basic word patterns, but he certainly cannot read; he does not even possess the verbal communication skills of a three-year-old. He can dress himself, but he cannot tell if his clothes are on backwards. He can certainly feed himself, but we would never trust him to use a stove. In other words, our childhood was comprised of reversed roles and I instinctively, intuitively knew my duty; I often referred to myself as his "big little sister."
You may be wondering if I have a point to make, or if I am simply rambling. Well, I don't consider myself to be a child; I don't believe I've ever had this mindset. I clearly recall my mother asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I did not hesitate in my answer. I wanted to be a doctor, so I could find a cure for autism. I believe I was five years old at the time...innocent, yes, but I had an inkling of the pain my brother's ailment caused to my family and I vowed to rectify the situation in whatever way I could.
I could continue with lots of other major and minor turning points in my life, such as the day I told my mother that I could no longer go outside to play with the neighborhood children because I had to focus on my school work or my initiation into the Gifted and Talented program at my school, which I later professed to my mother was the best day of my life. I could also expound at length about my increasing desperation throughout the years, but that is a discussion for another time.
I am not a child, and I don't think that I ever was. In this way, I don't think that Aries suits me at all...I have had too many close encounters and have seen too much pain. I understand that everyone must go through their trials regardless of their astrological association, but I simply feel that I do not relate to the Aries energy on many levels. There is something deeper than all of the childness associated with the sign...and that's another thing. I hate the stereotypes, the labels slapped on to each sign. I feel that Aries doesn't get the respect it should.
I am unsure if this makes any sense to anyone besides--or perhaps even exluding--myself, but I simply don't care anymore. Typecast me if you wish, I am well accustomed to it. I'm just another dumb blonde, just another angst-ridden teen, right?
Perhaps I should delete this message, have it disappear into the obscurity of my computer's memory rather than posted for the entire world to see. But I don't think I even care enough to censor myself anymore.
Beth