I have mars conjunct neptune below 1 degrees in capricorn. I also have moon trine mars and neptune.
Where do I begin? I've always had a tendency to glamorize areas(friendship, love, family, education) of my life and when it does not live up to my ideals, I do anything and everything to escape.
I used to love to read, watch tv shows and movies, write fiction and use all of that to fuel daydreams that I would participate in for hours.(heard of maladaptive daydreaming anyone) I also had a phase where I loved eroticas and I love ****(probably watch it 2-3 times a month).
During the only sexual relationship I had in my life, I roleplayed a lot and I wouldn't be quite satisfied with just sex. I also like playing the role of a submissive in bed.
As for drugs, I have done weed and not a fan of it that much actually, and I love occasions where I get to drink. And I want to try hallucinogens. I have tried to end my life through sleeping pills at an early age after drinking but nothing happened. Currently I like the sedative effects of allergy pills if those details count.
And I have explored various types of religions, ways of life, and every time I used to find any type of flaw in the religion especially in terms of morality, I'd quit it. Now I'm agnostic, and I try to be more rational when it comes to this area. (But I do believe in reincarnation)
However, I am drawn to the occult and ancient gnostic philosophies that the world we live in is an imperfect world created by a not so perfect creator and the real god is so perfect that his awareness cannot even touch the imperfectness of this reality and we can escape this evil cycle if we shun materialism.