Does he like me? (Or have I been completely deluded this entire time)

Cxxxcxxx

Member
I’ve had a very difficult time crushing on this guy who has been the definition of hot and cold for months. I just want to know for the last time whether or not he likes me or did I just convince myself he did. The question I asked the horary was “does he like me?”

https://imgur.com/gallery/VF0zNPg

I used Saturn as my significator, but I know Uranus is the modern ruler of Aquarius.
 
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Cxxxcxxx

Member
Unfortunately I do not know his birth time. Do you know if it’s still possible to do an accurate synastry chart without it? Also which website would you recommend for this?
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
Certainly you can do a synastry without the accurate birth time, use 12 noon, but at that point you won't be able to evaluate important aspects like the ascendents and moons. Go to astro.com and after you enter the Extended Chart Selection, insert the data you have for each of you, and below select Synastry Chart (2).
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
You are the ascendent in Aquarius, your primary significator is Saturn, co-ruler is Uranus, and co-significator is the moon.
Saturn feeling strong in its own sign is about to tip over into the 12th house of restrictions, from the 11th of friendship, and that seems to reflect your current position of being about ready to chuck in the friendship if it isn't mutual.
Sun is the descendent ruler, located in Capricorn which is ruled by Saturn, in the 12th. Leo is by nature a warm, outgoing, cheery sign, but through Capricorn it's turned cold and closed.
Saturn and sun were in conjunction, but sun has passed on and they are separating, and sun is approaching an unexpected sudden transformation, when it conjuncts Pluto. Saturn is close to sun, called combust, so in spite of being strong by sign, it is weakened here.
Saturn's next aspect is a sextile to enlightening Neptune, intercepted in the first house of You.
Your co-significator moon is in detached, philosophical Aquarius, and has already left the ascendent and slipped into the 12th house. Again, the idea of something restricting you. And it's next going to pass over the 1st house Neptune, spiritual and illuminating but also tending to illusions.
The moon has already moved beyond and exited the Venus/mars trine, which laid a romantic basis for the relationship.
Returning to the sun, we see that after the pluto conjunction, it will make a final square to Uranus, which is your co-ruler in independent Aires, and this will happen just before they both change signs. Coming from behind your back, so to speak, he will be hitting you in your house of self esteem and self worth, so be careful here to protect yourself from feeling put down.
So, it would seem the final word is that you are in fact more involved than he is, and moving further along in time there will be a break between the two of you.
The reason for this might be visible from the synastry, if you want to post it, at least to understand the reason for his hot/cold treatment of you.
 

Cxxxcxxx

Member
Thanks so much again ElenaJ for all of your insight. I feel like what you’ve interpreted is really making sense of how I’ve been feeling, especially since i’ve sort of started to move on. I think I just wanted one last confirmation about whether or not I should continue to pursue this. The truth is that the height of our interactions would have been months ago; is this what the horary is indicating by showing that the planets have moved past romance? Also is it possible that the act that affects my self esteem has already been carried out from him or should I be anticipating another? It’s also so awakening to hear you say that I’m more involved because I probably needed that kick. I’m not even sure how it got this way because when it began I was the less interested party, it wasn’t until guilt for him became involved in some way that really made me even consider him to begin with.

Anyways here is our synastry chart, with me being the outer ring and his birth time set at 12. https://imgur.com/gallery/HzgWNX4
 

waybread

Well-known member
Just to second Elena's interpretation: you're Saturn, he's the sun. The sun has moved past its conjunction with Saturn. He's not only moving away, but has moved into the 12th house of secrecy and even deceit. (I would read this as you may not learn the reason for his growing apart from you.) The moon isn't helping you out any.

Oh, well. There are other fish in the sea.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
"is this what the horary is indicating by showing that the planets have moved past romance..." Yes it is.
"the act that affects my self esteem has already been carried out from him or should I be anticipating another.."... it is the ending of the relationship itself that may effect your idea of yourself in relationships. Consider it as a contact that was valid in the past, and that was useful but has run its course., and it's time to move on. It served its purpose, it didn't end because you in some way are lacking.
"it wasn’t until guilt for him became involved in some way".... careful about this, shrug it off.
Looking at the synastry it jumps right out.... his Jupiter on your sun/pluto made you feel on top of the world with him, and the strong Midheaven activity was so appealing... He has Neptune and Uranus on mercury, poetic but a little foggy, and unpredictable, sparking your Venus. Just the way he was, his essence, energised and stimulated you. But later, you begin to be confused by him, he deceives you. His mars/saturn opposition that blows hot and cold (where have we heard this before?) is square your sun/pluto, so he starts unconsciously playing games with you. This isn't to harm you, it's his reaction to the way you are, your ego and your controlling instincts. Both of your energies are contrasting. At the same time your own mars/saturn square kicks in, so the excitement and stimulation he was feeling from your mars starts being constrained by your Saturn, and he feels drained. Again, contrasting energies between the two of you. His unstable erratic moon/Uranus interacts with your Neptune, he can't get a grip on you emotionally, you illude him. A relationship with strong contrasts.
And why?
The answer I believe lies in the Chiron/moons node conjunction. Pain is marking the relationship, it is its reason for existing, and by being together you in some way try to heal each other's pain. (here we return to your comment... "guilt for him").
Every relationship we have with others occurs for a reason. In some way you two have been able to work out karmic dues, and now it would seem you are ready to move on, hopefully having learned the lesson and fulfilled the reason for which you came together.
God speed.
 

Cxxxcxxx

Member
"is this what the horary is indicating by showing that the planets have moved past romance..." Yes it is.
"the act that affects my self esteem has already been carried out from him or should I be anticipating another.."... it is the ending of the relationship itself that may effect your idea of yourself in relationships. Consider it as a contact that was valid in the past, and that was useful but has run its course., and it's time to move on. It served its purpose, it didn't end because you in some way are lacking.
"it wasn’t until guilt for him became involved in some way".... careful about this, shrug it off.
Looking at the synastry it jumps right out.... his Jupiter on your sun/pluto made you feel on top of the world with him, and the strong Midheaven activity was so appealing... He has Neptune and Uranus on mercury, poetic but a little foggy, and unpredictable, sparking your Venus. Just the way he was, his essence, energised and stimulated you. But later, you begin to be confused by him, he deceives you. His mars/saturn opposition that blows hot and cold (where have we heard this before?) is square your sun/pluto, so he starts unconsciously playing games with you. This isn't to harm you, it's his reaction to the way you are, your ego and your controlling instincts. Both of your energies are contrasting. At the same time your own mars/saturn square kicks in, so the excitement and stimulation he was feeling from your mars starts being constrained by your Saturn, and he feels drained. Again, contrasting energies between the two of you. His unstable erratic moon/Uranus interacts with your Neptune, he can't get a grip on you emotionally, you illude him. A relationship with strong contrasts.
And why?
The answer I believe lies in the Chiron/moons node conjunction. Pain is marking the relationship, it is its reason for existing, and by being together you in some way try to heal each other's pain. (here we return to your comment... "guilt for him").
Every relationship we have with others occurs for a reason. In some way you two have been able to work out karmic dues, and now it would seem you are ready to move on, hopefully having learned the lesson and fulfilled the reason for which you came together.
God speed.

Thank you so much for laying all of that out ElenaJ, I think I really needed to hear all of it. It’s so strange how the moment I finished reading what you wrote, I finally felt like it was truly time to let go. I could even feel the energy towards him change in my body it seemed. Everything you said about the way we react to one another makes so much sense but I would never have been able to put my finger on it before. I’m not sure if I ever really liked him for who he was but there was something about what he was, his demeanour and vibe that was extremely alluring. I’m extremely curious as to what or how he might have been deceiving me, and will likely spend some time unpacking this idea. It’s so frustrating to have someone else confirm that he was playing games with me, especially when during the beginning he knew I liked someone else but this seemed to cause him to claim me for his own in a way, or so it seemed. I do think I may have upset him quite strongly at some point for not behaving the way he wanted, so I see how the way I was must have been draining for him. I wonder if my ego or the way that it is, will likely pose a problem for future relationships as well, or if it’s this particular contrast that makes it much less harmonious.

It’s interewting that your last two paragraphs resonated the most with me despite being kind of somber. I do feel as though I either learnt something or experienced something worthwhile through this tumultuous time with him pulling my feelings every which way. This may have been the first time I’ve felt any pain when it came to a romantic endeavour, but it was relatively harmless if not extremely eye opening, and for that I guess I am grateful. As I am grateful to you as well for helping me through this.
 
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ElenaJ

Well-known member
"I wonder if my ego or the way that it is, will likely pose a problem for future relationships as well,"
Don't go down this route! This is what I referred to about the end of the relationship risks leaving a scar with you... it isn't you, it's the combination of the energies. Harvest the lessons. Give yourself a pinch when you start thinking about you being a problem, and rewind.
Go forward, another relationship will open for you, face it sincerely with your head held high and not thinking about how you "should" be. There is nothing wrong with you!
 
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