Is this a push-pull connection?

S

Soulstice

Account Closed
ME = BLUE / HIM = RED (don't know his hour of birth)


So I met this guy last year in November 19. We connected right away. After a few weeks, he said sth quite hurtful to me (but didn't intend to he said later on and apologised for this), which has stuck with me since. We've talked a lot and really seem to 'vibe' on a lot of levels.


On the other hand, he's very practical & pragmatic. I'm always unpleasantly surprised by his bold remarks, which are quite harsh, and his hard personality. I'm convinced and also sense that he has a sweet inside, but don't know if I'll be able to ever reach that ... and if I should invest more time in this connection ... What do you think?

CHARTS: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xNpVJ14IqgSbGme4KSOPTlN3QXpofXPz/view?usp=sharing
 
Last edited:
E

ElenaJ

Well-known member
What you describe sounds like his Saturn on your north node, which makes him want to discipline and criticise you, like a parent to a child, but this can be a heavy burden for you. Your sun is on your south node, so opposing his Saturn, more emphasis on this aspect of discipline.
You have several very nice aspects between you, over time the more difficult ones will come to the forefront, and the restrictions his Saturn places on you may be too much for you to put up with.
There is also Uranus square moon, and your meeting up was unexpected and sudden, and very exciting and irresistible. But this too over time will cause disruptions between you, and your domestic life together would have unsettling ups and downs that work against a long term relationship.
Also, uranus tends to end things as abruptly as they begin.
 
S

Soulstice

Account Closed
Hi Elena, thank you so much for looking into this. I've been wracking my brain over this ever since I met him. I've only experienced this a few times before, but when I looked him in the eyes, there was something that attracted me to him, and I think it was the 'hard' aspect that drew me into him, even though I don't like to admit it. He does have terrible mood swings, which annoys me. One night he's great, the next morning he's another person. Hot and cold.


I have an issue with being attracted to hard and difficult people, like I need to heal them or so ... However, he's been quite open to me and allowed me to see his softer side, which I greatly appreciate. This gives me an opportunity to also show him mine, because I tend to be very closed off ... Do you see this in my chart as well?
 
E

ElenaJ

Well-known member
Presumably you don't have his birth hour? That would give us an ascendent and a lot more to work with.
He has a mars/uranus conjunction which is a lot of energy to handle.
He is probably mechanically very capable, and also physically/sexually has a fascination about him. But when he erupts it's better not to be close by because the sparks exploding will hit whatever is close by, even if its you and you have nothing to do with it! But then it blows over as quickly as that.
You have a sun in easy aspect with Jupiter, so you will seek out "Jupiter" types, and his mercury and Jupiter are in pisces. Your sun also squares Saturn, so you do draw "heavy" relationships to you, maybe older men, too serious and stern, but this is what you expect in them so you live with it.
As I wrote earlier, there are quite a few easy and loving aspects, you just have to see if that volatile energy is something you can live with. Gemini/leo/aries are good signs for dealing with this phenomenon.
His libra moon identifies the type of woman he will seek out, and your Venus on descendent reflects this for him, so you are a good match.
Note his Pluto on south node. South node is our karmic point, especially effecting relationships. Pluto is compulsive dependence. So his energy in this life, shown by north node in taurus, should be channeled towards achieving emotionally independent relationships, including intimate ones. Part of this mechanism would include his Saturn on your node, by disciplining and restricting you he is in reality trying to subconsciously work out his karmic need to develop emotional independence in a loving relationship. Your Saturn sextile his node will help you to guide him in this search.
His Chiron on your south node reinforces his tendency to look to you for healing, while distancing himself. Symbolically, Chiron the wounded healer wounds himself accidentally while helping another, and this energy manifests in your relationship with him, this becomes the theme of your relationship. He heals himself by trying to help you in your relationship, playing out a role you karmically had in the past. Your moon on Chiron makes you the perfect protagonist in this drama.
Your ascendent and midheaven recently were under the influence of the current Capricorn transits, which are not easy ones, and that is probably what drew you into yourself.
Once they have passed you should turn into the chatty, fun loving and outgoing personality that is in your chart, even though underneath you will always be a little shy and unsure of yourself (sun/saturn).
 
S

Soulstice

Account Closed
ElenaJ said:
Presumably you don't have his birth hour? That would give us an ascendent and a lot more to work with.
He has a mars/uranus conjunction which is a lot of energy to handle.
He is probably mechanically very capable, and also physically/sexually has a fascination about him. But when he erupts it's better not to be close by because the sparks exploding will hit whatever is close by, even if its you and you have nothing to do with it! But then it blows over as quickly as that.
You have a sun in easy aspect with Jupiter, so you will seek out "Jupiter" types, and his mercury and Jupiter are in pisces. Your sun also squares Saturn, so you do draw "heavy" relationships to you, maybe older men, too serious and stern, but this is what you expect in them so you live with it.
As I wrote earlier, there are quite a few easy and loving aspects, you just have to see if that volatile energy is something you can live with. Gemini/leo/aries are good signs for dealing with this phenomenon.
His libra moon identifies the type of woman he will seek out, and your Venus on descendent reflects this for him, so you are a good match.
Note his Pluto on south node. South node is our karmic point, especially effecting relationships. Pluto is compulsive dependence. So his energy in this life, shown by north node in taurus, should be channeled towards achieving emotionally independent relationships, including intimate ones. Part of this mechanism would include his Saturn on your node, by disciplining and restricting you he is in reality trying to subconsciously work out his karmic need to develop emotional independence in a loving relationship. Your Saturn sextile his node will help you to guide him in this search.
His Chiron on your south node reinforces his tendency to look to you for healing, while distancing himself. Symbolically, Chiron the wounded healer wounds himself accidentally while helping another, and this energy manifests in your relationship with him, this becomes the theme of your relationship. He heals himself by trying to help you in your relationship, playing out a role you karmically had in the past. Your moon on Chiron makes you the perfect protagonist in this drama.
Your ascendent and midheaven recently were under the influence of the current Capricorn transits, which are not easy ones, and that is probably what drew you into yourself.
Once they have passed you should turn into the chatty, fun loving and outgoing personality that is in your chart, even though underneath you will always be a little shy and unsure of yourself (sun/saturn).
Click to expand...


No, unfortunately not! (yet ... :p)


This makes SO MUCH sense. I feel that while connecting with him, I can heal something in me, and you say that this is vice versa? He does have a very explosive temper, which frightens me sometimes. It hasn't really been directed towards me, however. My parents (both aries & leo moon, like me) are like this - esp. my mom - and I don't know if I can handle this ... . Can you explain this a bit further?
"Part of this mechanism would include his Saturn on your node, by disciplining and restricting you he is in reality trying to subconsciously work out his karmic need to develop emotional independence in a loving relationship.His Chiron on your south node reinforces his tendency to look to you for healing, while distancing himself. Symbolically, Chiron the wounded healer wounds himself accidentally while helping another, and this energy manifests in your relationship with him, this becomes the theme of your relationship. He heals himself by trying to help you in your relationship, playing out a role you karmically had in the past. Your moon on Chiron makes you the perfect protagonist in this drama."
> Does this mean he wants to be close to his romantic partner, or be 'free'?

You mention the physical/sexual aspect. He says he doesn't like being touched or physical contact all together, but I have my doubts as I get to know him a bit better. He's very restrained, and has organised a complicated web of presumptions about himself and the world, and lives by these. However, he's very conscious of this, and wasn't defensive when I mentioned my observation to him. Do you know what type of woman he wants? He also presents himself as being very 'rational', and has a very odd perception on (romantic) love (very practical). I feel this is to protect himself from being hurt. Could that be?

Apart from him, I have indeed been going through a VERY rough patch, and have been confronted with the not so nice parts of myself. It's tough ... .
 
Last edited:
S

Soulstice

Account Closed
ElenaJ said:
Presumably you don't have his birth hour? That would give us an ascendent and a lot more to work with.
He has a mars/uranus conjunction which is a lot of energy to handle.
He is probably mechanically very capable, and also physically/sexually has a fascination about him. But when he erupts it's better not to be close by because the sparks exploding will hit whatever is close by, even if its you and you have nothing to do with it! But then it blows over as quickly as that.
You have a sun in easy aspect with Jupiter, so you will seek out "Jupiter" types, and his mercury and Jupiter are in pisces. Your sun also squares Saturn, so you do draw "heavy" relationships to you, maybe older men, too serious and stern, but this is what you expect in them so you live with it.
As I wrote earlier, there are quite a few easy and loving aspects, you just have to see if that volatile energy is something you can live with. Gemini/leo/aries are good signs for dealing with this phenomenon.
His libra moon identifies the type of woman he will seek out, and your Venus on descendent reflects this for him, so you are a good match.
Note his Pluto on south node. South node is our karmic point, especially effecting relationships. Pluto is compulsive dependence. So his energy in this life, shown by north node in taurus, should be channeled towards achieving emotionally independent relationships, including intimate ones. Part of this mechanism would include his Saturn on your node, by disciplining and restricting you he is in reality trying to subconsciously work out his karmic need to develop emotional independence in a loving relationship. Your Saturn sextile his node will help you to guide him in this search.
His Chiron on your south node reinforces his tendency to look to you for healing, while distancing himself. Symbolically, Chiron the wounded healer wounds himself accidentally while helping another, and this energy manifests in your relationship with him, this becomes the theme of your relationship. He heals himself by trying to help you in your relationship, playing out a role you karmically had in the past. Your moon on Chiron makes you the perfect protagonist in this drama.
Your ascendent and midheaven recently were under the influence of the current Capricorn transits, which are not easy ones, and that is probably what drew you into yourself.
Once they have passed you should turn into the chatty, fun loving and outgoing personality that is in your chart, even though underneath you will always be a little shy and unsure of yourself (sun/saturn).
Click to expand...


By the way, I am definitely attracted to older guys, who have a lot of 'depth' and also that sense of independence. This is becoming increasingly clear to me. I have never been with someone though, despite being 27 yo ... :sad: This does bother me from time to time, to be honest, even though I'm patient. The ones I've met previously were all very troubled, and didn't treat me that kindly.
 
E

ElenaJ

Well-known member
"It's tough ... ."
Hang in there, it may seem impossible, but it's all medicine for your soul!

" Does this mean he wants to be close to his romantic partner, or be 'free'? "
It means he must avoid entering a co-dependent type of relationship, which is paradoxically his tendency, his "safe space", as identified by his south node. He has to push away from this compulsive dependency, towards independence, in a relationship.

"he doesn't like being touched or physical contact all together,"
Uranus like freedom, and Neptune likes to be dreamy and not physically/worldly and both are near his mars of sexual and physical expression. You share the same Venus, so you will be able to handle this in a way that he likes and accepts.

"I can heal something in me, and you say that this is vice versa? "
yes, this would be an underlying theme between you two.
 
Top