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Unread 10-04-2018, 11:38 PM
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Lykanized Lykanized is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: iamamiwhoami
Posts: 4,263
Re: In need of some light in the darkness

In my journey, it's become known to me that I may not actually be bipolar. My friend suggested to me I may be an empath. And the odd thing is that I've been talking to a very knowledgeable woman lately and she told me that she perceive my latest suicide attempt to not have been completely about my own emotions. She told me the perceived the root of my suicide attempt to have been a blond girl, instagram modelish, but kinda nerdy and who wears glasses. This does not at all describe my friend who blocked me everywhere who really made me feel horrible, it describes my ex's ex who who 'fell madly in love with' after dumping me and who dumped her after she sold all her **** to move a few states away with her. This woman told me I was still attached emotionally to my ex and was partially feeling her emotions rather than just mine

Well, she actually told me my suicide attempt was wholly about this glasses wearing chick I'd never met, but I feel like it's more likely the emotions just piggybacked. I have no feelings for my ex, but I do pity her and all she's gone through and is going through

I've also become aware that some of my emotional and mental issues may actually be because I'm a medium and I'm also an initiated Shaman. This woman is helping me realize a lot of things about myself. I'm still very lost as I have no idea how to actually develop any mediumship abilities I may have latent within myself. I'm pretty lost on the Shaman front too, but it's not a surprise to me as I'm no stranger to trancelike states. I started getting myself into them quite naturally, but I know there's a lot more to them than what I've discovered

She told me I'm a "powerhouse of power" and that I do have a mission more important than most. But she won't go into more depth about those things. She did say I'm not ready yet and it's ok that I'm not, I have a little bit of time

She says most of the emotions and energies I pick up are so negative because I'm a healer from a different dimension. So all these negative thoughts and feelings aren't exactly my own. She wants me to do meditations to figure out what's mine and what isn't, but I feel like that may be next to impossible...

I have to try anyway

I know there are things for me to do, but it's so odd to me because before this year, I was just an aspiring writer with severe mental illness trying to make my way through school and failing. Now there's so much more and it's a lot heavier than I ever thought it was even tho I could perceive I had a mission as a teenager

Last edited by Lykanized; 10-05-2018 at 12:04 AM.
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