Venus square Saturn

sassaqua

Member
Yes, that is a great question -
often questions around Venus (and Mars) are kept limitted to romantic relationships, forgetting they are very active still in other parts of our lives, this includs friendships! So yes. I am interested to hear too.

As well as how folks have worked with the aspect to overcome the challenges, and heal any wounds.

I have the venus trine saturn, I am pretty much a loner. I do not like packs, or groups very much; I like to play autonomously, and I am compelled to striving for the master of my domain; I stand independently! But i have strong uranus too, and pluto on my mc too.
 

byjove

Account Closed
I have the venus trine saturn, I am pretty much a loner. I do not like packs, or groups very much; I like to play autonomously, and I am compelled to striving for the master of my domain; I stand independently! But i have strong uranus too, and pluto on my mc too.

How interesting! I'm so glad I posted that now - I think I've found clues in that Venus/Saturn connection that I was looking for. So how have the years gone by with your friendhips Sassaqua?

Me...Venus square Saturn (Venus in Pisces, Saturn ruler of 7th, 1st ruler Moon square Saturn and opp. Venus...mutable T) I have to say I had serious people problems growing up. I was so defensive and grumpy, very sarcastic. But I've overhauled...Cancer rising, two water planets, and one of them sitting on Pisces MC...how could I not learn from this? I admit, I still keep friendships at bay, and frequently quiz myself if I like being a bit of a loner sometimes...I guess I like people, but I re-charge by being away from them lol. I'm very ambitious, a little time-selfish and reflective so I guess I enjoy time alone pursuing my own pursuits. But friendships have gotten better as I've gotten older, and I definitely have an easier time now, and those horrible characteristics from youth are shaken off...:whistling:
 
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sassaqua

Member
Hiya :)

I don't understand your positioning - Venus in Pisces.. (Saturn ruler of 7th yes), but in ..?

Ok, remember, I have the trine with venus and saturn. My friendships are always one on one, and I like the full attention I give my friends, and the intimacy that the 1:1 can provide, I don't like superficial talk; I don't like my time - without sounding like a dick - wasted. That is, I always have some project, or something on the go, and I am selective wit my time. Even if it's just an appointment with my doona for the day:biggrin:

My venus is conjunct my ascendant (12th), square my moon (10th). I guess I can feel sometimes vulnerable in groups, exposed, as well as, I can feel overwhelmed with too many peoples' emotional energy.

My last two relationships, I was heavily betrayed and ******* over. Mu last relationship, of which I am still recovering, he had the inconjunct between venus and saturn. Our venuses were conjunct - I am figuring now, his very, very, mean inconjunct won over. Or so it seems.

I have never met such a cruel, mean, viscious, deceitful, horrible person. Hence my query here about the square :)

Keeping in mind, he had heaps of problem aspects, so obviously in was an accumulation of aspects, I am making attempt to delineate between them all, to understand the darker side of human nature.

Obviously I am of the lighter :D
 

sassaqua

Member
Oh, may I add, the betrayals also included some friends, as well as - in the first relationship - his friends. People I didn't even know.

I am more shy than ever about people, and being scapegoated or victimised by them.

Never again... my eyes are wide open now :pouty:
 

Rushwing

Well-known member
Hi everbody, joing you with my Venus square Saturn ascpect.
I believe in a positive life heading. Perhaps some of you might like Michael Brown, who writes about authenticity, integrity, intimacy, presence, grace, gratitude in connection to working on yourself. He has a webpage, The Presence Process, his approach is very warm (10 basic "lessons":1. connectning with present moment and body via breathing lesson, 2. recognizing mirroring and projecting, 3.choosing consciouos reacting, 4. feeling unconditionally, 5. i am innocent, 6.connecting the burdening feelings, 7. I feel sage now, 8. I forgive myself, 9. I love myself unconditionally, 10. I respet myself for who/what I am). It about re-connecting.

All the best

Jupiii
Thank you this is exactly what I am going through myself, after having experienced time and again relationships where it is all about the other person. That I am ok, that I am innocent, able to be in the moment these are all extremely important things for me. I have scorpio saturn ic sq venus leo (also conj ascendant) , and its like my natural desire for warmth and honesty is always a weakness of mine that gets me involved with bad characters (saturn scorp) who hide the truth, and use emotional manipulation to pull me in beyond what I can handle, then I am terrified and have to leave. Just a few days ago, I had to call the police and get a restraining order on a person who I thought was a friend, who has a venus saturn opposition (along his asc descendant) and who had used me completely after violating my personal boundaries time and time again, but my need to care for someone (perhaps all my virgo planets) made me blind to the warning signs. He threatened to kill himself if I left him over and over, and had no remorse for the fact that he would not leave me alone after I asked him, begged him too, over and over. It was awful. He created it for himself I think, as another subconsciously reinforcing failure to prove how he cannot love women the right way. It was terrible. He was 67, and I am 25. I never EVER EVER wanted to have a relationship with him he was revolting to me, but I spent my energy looking at the light side of him rather than the dark. Because he did not back down to the point that I had to lock all my doors for fear of my safety and the safety of my family, this whole experience has brought me back to this forum for consolation and release.

Also, additionally, I have found with my venus sq saturn aspect, is that there is a great deal of shame about my personal desires, as if being particular about what I want is wrong. Also there is a fear about coming clean about the past, because if I do then no one will love me. Perhaps this is because my saturn is conj my moon as well, that I have a great deal of fear of showing my inner needs and feelings. My venus however, just wants to run off and have a good time! Not going to happen anymore. .. ;_;
 

Jupiiiter

Member
Ciao,
so Venus square Saturn and friendships - from my experience (Venus/Tau8/ square Saturn/ Leo11/):
yes, it did change with years of course - but life is supposed to be more or less a constant change ;)
I like company of other people a lot, some more others less, but I find this very natural. I enjoy everything, from being alone, to one to one, small groups and bunches of people. I can't really imagine being alone too long, though I admit that even among many people I can sometimes feel alone. I think all this is simply natural. Maybe we have different social needs - some people like (or need) to socialize more than others. I had jobs where I worked with people and I liked it. As for filling or re-charging batterries - sometimes it is a must to do it on my own, sometimes other people fill me up. As a child I was much more closed regarding this, but I traveled much and lived abroad, which all contributed to being more open and rather focus on trying to figure out new situations and people. But on a deepest level, I do need a lot of time to open up, and honestly I just think it's quite ok if I keep some secrects for myself and simply learn on my own, too. Perhaps Venus square Saturn implies emotional growth on a interpersonal level, so to resolve this "problem" - at least in a full specter - it is almost impossible to do it without other people, as the relations reflect some aspects of us that would stay hidden otherwise. I find my friendships far more enjoyable and relaxed than my realtionships. But being involved with someone, is far more personal than being a friend. As far as the friendships are concerned, I always prefer harmony, but perhaps I could accuse my Libra rising for this. So in this aspect, sometimes I do not expose problems, or can be overly tolerant. But not always, since my Ram nature is here, too, just to contradict sometimes...
 

byjove

Account Closed
Oh, Byjove, I just saw your chart ;)

I see... wow, my ex had the moon square saturn too, and in a tsquare, but with mars :eek:

lol don't worry, I'm sure I don't have the same intentions as your ex lol .

Jupiiter ^^^ That's interesting stuff. It's kind of what I was hoping for. It seem time healing all wounds works here too. And I get your harmony thing (I've Moon opp. Venus) and I'm a Ram too :tongue:
 

Jupiiiter

Member
Sassaqua: As well as how folks have worked with the aspect to overcome the challenges, and heal any wounds.
Sassaqua, I'm not sure if I'm answering your question, but there is an ongoing theme of cooping with Venus Saturn aspects, so I'll just write my way of doing it.

  • I simply parent myself – What I miss, I can give myself now. I can find it in my hobbies, interests, friends. Everywhere.
  • I express care for myself – nobody else has to know about it, but I do, and if I know how to enjoy myself, it is easier to share it with others, too.
  • I prefer company of people that we have a positive impact on each other – this is not always possible, but personally I grow on points of warmth. So why nott accepting love and positive feelings/deeds, when people are willing to share/give them?
  • I stay open for opinions of others as well – some critiques are very constructive – if somebody really wishes to »open my eyes« than it is not about putting down someone (that is about power), but it is time for to reconsider what I have been told.
  • Things change. I can change them. I can find new ways. And sometimes other people bring changes, if I let them. I stay open to changes. Perhaps today you are not my friend yet, but you might be tommorrow. If I am not happy, than this is a sign, that I need a certain change, either within or on the outside in action.


Astrology02: there is always a defense mechanism that goes up when someone gets to close to me. I think people with venus square saturn are so unhappy with themselves that they project that on to others and get negative results.
Yes, I have a defense mechanism, too. I think it is good to have it, but it can be a real block sometimes, too. Nevertheless, I am quite sure, that reason that I have it came from the best. It must have served me at some point, and it might serve me again in the future, perhaps it even saved my butt. When it starts blocking me, I just try to go into surrendering, and not running away.
Projecting: just reading a book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers – it is about Shadow and projecting too. Some points in the book are worth reading, you have exercises too, there's a nice chater on projections. We can also project good sides on others. Even with Venus Saturn.

Byjove: It's kind of what I was hoping for. It seem time healing all wounds works here too. And I get your harmony thing (I've Moon opp. Venus) and I'm a Ram too.
Why did you hoped for that? Since we are both Ram, I wonder if you have any »anger management« issues?

For everyone who feels unloved or unworthy....this is someting i read recently:
We have the first story we tell ourselves about ourselves. This story is about everything bad that happened to us, and why we are unhappy.
Then we also might have the second story, in which we say: I also experienced...(anything positive), and becuse of this I know..;It always saved me..;I miss many things, but despite of this, I have..
Then we might also have the third story:Becuse of what the second story told me, I can in the future...Because of the second story, I want to experirnce something I do not know yet, such as...
 

byjove

Account Closed
I mean that it's good to see a person with this aspect mention that they've grown with the aspect, that it does not dominate their relationships etc. Many of these Saturn threads are quite negative. It was my belief that probably we'd ... overcome the more difficult lessons of this aspect with age, I certainly feel I have already. As for possible 'anger' problems...I've Mercury, Venus and MC in Pisces. It's not in my nature or my natural communicative tendencies to implode...I've Mercury on the MC and trine AC - in Pisces, so I can reflect on myself and self-heal, and the AC contact allows me to communicate very effectively and clearly with others. I always enjoyed using positions of leadership to balance needs and resolve conflicts within the group, it made me happy to see the harmony.
 
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astrology02

Well-known member
Sassaqua: As well as how folks have worked with the aspect to overcome the challenges, and heal any wounds.
Sassaqua, I'm not sure if I'm answering your question, but there is an ongoing theme of cooping with Venus Saturn aspects, so I'll just write my way of doing it.

  • I simply parent myself – What I miss, I can give myself now. I can find it in my hobbies, interests, friends. Everywhere.
  • I express care for myself – nobody else has to know about it, but I do, and if I know how to enjoy myself, it is easier to share it with others, too.
  • I prefer company of people that we have a positive impact on each other – this is not always possible, but personally I grow on points of warmth. So why nott accepting love and positive feelings/deeds, when people are willing to share/give them?
  • I stay open for opinions of others as well – some critiques are very constructive – if somebody really wishes to »open my eyes« than it is not about putting down someone (that is about power), but it is time for to reconsider what I have been told.
  • Things change. I can change them. I can find new ways. And sometimes other people bring changes, if I let them. I stay open to changes. Perhaps today you are not my friend yet, but you might be tommorrow. If I am not happy, than this is a sign, that I need a certain change, either within or on the outside in action.

Astrology02: there is always a defense mechanism that goes up when someone gets to close to me. I think people with venus square saturn are so unhappy with themselves that they project that on to others and get negative results.
Yes, I have a defense mechanism, too. I think it is good to have it, but it can be a real block sometimes, too. Nevertheless, I am quite sure, that reason that I have it came from the best. It must have served me at some point, and it might serve me again in the future, perhaps it even saved my butt. When it starts blocking me, I just try to go into surrendering, and not running away.
Projecting: just reading a book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers – it is about Shadow and projecting too. Some points in the book are worth reading, you have exercises too, there's a nice chater on projections. We can also project good sides on others. Even with Venus Saturn.

Byjove: It's kind of what I was hoping for. It seem time healing all wounds works here too. And I get your harmony thing (I've Moon opp. Venus) and I'm a Ram too.
Why did you hoped for that? Since we are both Ram, I wonder if you have any »anger management« issues?

For everyone who feels unloved or unworthy....this is someting i read recently:
We have the first story we tell ourselves about ourselves. This story is about everything bad that happened to us, and why we are unhappy.
Then we also might have the second story, in which we say: I also experienced...(anything positive), and becuse of this I know..;It always saved me..;I miss many things, but despite of this, I have..
Then we might also have the third story:Becuse of what the second story told me, I can in the future...Because of the second story, I want to experirnce something I do not know yet, such as...

such an inspirational post (especially the last point) about looking at the positive side of things :happy:
 

Claire19

Well-known member
Without an exact chart and especially time of birth all else is just speculation. Using relocation chart doesnt help. We need the natal charts and a composite of those can only be accurate with right time of birth in both cases.
 

Claire19

Well-known member
I agree that Saturn aspects can be handled better with age perhaps :happy:but then again they tend to kick in more as we age, i.e. going through 1st, 2nd and often 3rd Saturn Returns.
 

Claire19

Well-known member
im grateful for this aspect. it makes me stop and think what im doing and assess the situation or persons. i got moon opp neptune in 7th so its a good aspect to have. very cautious and selective when it comes to partnerships. i notice people with this aspect tend to look for quality partners who are reliable and trustworthy. great aspect to have when you're also under the vices of moon opp neptune influence.
Yes Moon opposing Neptune can be very tricky but at least it manifests in the outer world with others and is more tangible. Projection to and from others is a danger. Illusion, deceit and over idealism. But can be managed to become more spiritually aware, more compassionate and more discriminating in who we become emotionally involved with. The saviour/victim complex is always a danger.
 

Love2Know

Well-known member
I have this aspect wow lame My Venus Leo Squaring my Saturn in Sagittarius, plus I have Saturn Retrograde. Hmmmmmm I have had many boyfriends some I know loved me a lot. I sometimes am unrealist and always want more or get unattached randomly and fast. I am an implustive dumper, which shocks my Cancer sun. I have fits of insecurity where I blame superficial things on my partner, like if I gain weight while dating them I go really unfairly bitter. I grew up with an extremely intellectual father and very protective and loving mother. I used to be teased at school for being 'so spoiled', and I would just say it's not my fault i'm so lovable. Being too spoiled can also make someone have an ugly temper though and expect too much out of others. Even good things can be bad if immature. I can sometimes be short tempered and harsh with loved ones, or not want to talk to my friends for a while because I get really distant and weird. Love is hard for me to understand unless it's towards animals or children. I do get scared to have any emotional investments on others and as a teen I was hurt a lot (random guys I was dating would vanish days before professing love to me). I guess I started to tune out love, or what people said they meant. My bf now if I try to talk about leaving or being unhappy about stuff he looks at me and says "I don't know who you think I am but I'm not a little boy you are going to scare away, I love you and I'm staying by your side". He does travel a lot and I worry about him sometimes I used to feel it was easier to just not worry and be alone but I have to stay with him. Just like the first time I met him, I felt like I was home or something. I have to be with him, he is too good for me to give up on because of my own emotional ice queen mellow drama bs. I think this aspects makes me the one who runs away and blames it on others. Kinda cowardly I am kinda waking up from that illusion now. I also have some pretty sweet venus aspects though, only 1 harsh one. Also, a nice mercury trine saturn, so everything balances out. Plus, there is not other love without self love. Also, I think some of my most beneficial qualities come from squares and my opposition. My lack of fear from opposition or being bullied, usually allows me to see opportunities in other peoples misuse of authority or when they are on the defense. Basically, if someone gets aggressive I can usually get what I want if they decide to challenge me in a negative way. If they stay positive then they can win, for example if I am told NO I quietly go nuts lol till I end up turning that no into a yes x3. The bottom line is my harder aspects take away a lot of my fear in more intense scenarios, when I face opposition that is when my mind slows down and I actually think more clearly. So these squares can make you a mighty warrior of life, no matter how hard and horrible life gets my leo lets me know its all an act and my feelings arn't that important. Just get up and move to the next scene.
 
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dico

Banned
From what people have said in this thread, and my experiences, Saturn is all about stunting when in a hard aspect. So stunting love, harmony, romance, ease, and beauty in our lives, making them something we need to work toward, is what Saturn does. It doesn't make us unloved, it makes love hard, and gives us many painful lessons to learn before we can realize that love.

I have Venus in 4th house Virgo square Saturn in the 6th house Sag 7 degrees, Saturn conjunct DC. I relate to what a lot of people said. I spent a lot of time alone as a child, and felt very rejected by peers (Saturn opp AC). When Pluto transited over my Saturn/DC, squaring Venus, my Sag mother married my Scorp stepfather and their relationship led towards divorce and left me traumatized by the time the transit was over. I spent some time homeless (4th house) as a teenager, furthering feelings of inadequacy among my peers and discord for a home life. I didn't have an intimate relationship until I was in my twenties. I have recurring feelings of being unworthy of love or consideration.

I've found that studying Saturn's influence (independent of Venus at first) helped me realize how I could turn my feelings and experiences into something positive. It's still hard, I suppose, but I don't have any pity for myself over it. I think that is really the first thing... not to pity yourself if you feel unloved or unwanted, or think that this stupid square is the source of all your problems (it's always an escapist route to place blame). What also helps is being open to the difficulty, and realize that you'll get there when you get there. Have patience with yourself if you feel you're too insecure to have a stable relationship. It's ok to feel that way and then work through it, slow and steady as Saturn toils in order to reap rewards. Count your blessings. Do something that you believe your Venus would enjoy (Venus in Leo? Sing a song out loud and dance. Venus in Gemini? Play a strategy game. Venus in Cancer? Have a delicious meal...) Of course you could go deeper than that, but just to give an idea.

Anyway, sorry for rambling! I hope that was sorta helpful. Keep posting stories. I like to read them (we have to support each other afterall).
 

Love2Know

Well-known member
I am very thankful for reading a little peice of your experience and to see the strength you have realized within yourself. I also felt rejected by peers as a child, even though I had friends. It made me realize I should have more faith in people but mainly myself. It also showed me how my mistakes have made me smarter and taught me a sense of empathy beyond myself. It made me realize other people have feels too, it also taught me the important of loyalty and hanging in there when the going gets hard.. I used to run away and not look back if someone I cared for hurt me, even slightly.. Leo in venus (1st house) square Sag in Saturn (4th house Saturn retrograde) I do start to sing my emotions lolllllll
 
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Love2Know

Well-known member
I have a tight Venus semi-sextile Saturn that can play up in similar ways. Here's my take on this: I think that most people have unconcious intimacy sabotage mechanisms in place, I guess our charts shows the various ways which these manifest but underlying all that is the fear of getting close. I believe this is cuz we are usually unable to give something up, a strong attachment, and what that does is set up the showdown between creative avoidance (to maintain the status quo) or staying with the resistance. That attachment to something/someone/idea etc. is usually a huge blindspot for us (I see it but I don't "see" it) as the emotions involved are quite complex, usually it takes an uninvolved outside party to see it (although listening with an open mind is another story..).

Yes I agree with this, I also feel relationships with others have taught me the most about myself.
 
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