Can someone tell me why I can't get over this guy?

Librastar

Librastar

Well-known member
We were together for 3 years, been apart for four.

Still hung up on him... and he has been on me too.

He's wanted to get back together but I've just never felt ready to until recently... then I found out he has a new girlfriend.

I've posted our synastry and composite.


In our synastry, I notice we have mutual Vertex conjunct AC.
His moon conjunct my vertex.
My moon conjunct his mars.

and a few grand trines (all in water)
(my Venus + my Jup trine his mercury trine his mars/ my moon)
(Mars trine sun trine Pluto)

Each of our Chirons is squared by the other person's nodes


However, it appears my sun isn't even aspected...
 

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ElenaJ

Well-known member
Actually your sun is conjunct his Jupiter, which is very positive because the sun is co-ruler of your 7th and Jupiter is co-ruler of his 7th. There are several nice aspects, but the moon on Uranus, plus the moon/mars contacts may be what keeps you apart. In the composite the mars/uranus shows up, as well as mars/neptune. Also, Venus, so important in a love relationship, is at the sun/saturn midpoint. In the long term, this relationship may not hold up. Since he now has a girlfriend, wait it out and see if things come around, but I wouldn't push it. Is the fact that he is with someone else making you yearn for him? Look for someone else, and you'll probably get over him.
 
Librastar

Librastar

Well-known member
ElenaJ said:
Actually your sun is conjunct his Jupiter, which is very positive because the sun is co-ruler of your 7th and Jupiter is co-ruler of his 7th. There are several nice aspects, but the moon on Uranus, plus the moon/mars contacts may be what keeps you apart. In the composite the mars/uranus shows up, as well as mars/neptune. Also, Venus, so important in a love relationship, is at the sun/saturn midpoint. In the long term, this relationship may not hold up. Since he now has a girlfriend, wait it out and see if things come around, but I wouldn't push it. Is the fact that he is with someone else making you yearn for him? Look for someone else, and you'll probably get over him.
Click to expand...


So what does Venus at the midpoint of the sun/saturn midpoint do exactly?

Also if the composite says Sun +Opp house. Does that mean that the sun/saturn midpoint could actually be different?

The fact that he is with someone else does make me yearn for him I admit. But I've found others and still missed him. He was the first person I went to talk to when I got out of a bad relationship... as a friend not anything more. Because I knew I could trust him.

He wanted to get back together on the spot but I wasn't ready. I was so damaged from the relationship I told him it wasn't a good time, I was broken and needed to heal.
 
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Librastar

Librastar

Well-known member
I'm not sure if the composite vertex is relevant but it exactly conjuncts the DC of the composite as well as my natal moon.
 

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ardentika

ardentika

Well-known member
How is Sun her co-ruler of 7th when her Dsc is in Cancer?

And oh boy! Girl! I feel for you. I had those same aspects with someone I still can't get over.
We had Asc conj Vertex mutual, Jupiter conj NN mutual (Jupiter rules his Dsc and my Asc), and Vertex exactly conjunct Dsc in composite. We also had exact IC/MC conjunction as you do.
And didn't work out. Same ****. On and off, both can't fully let go, he cheated, he got back with his ex, dated around. My guess is those guys are really afraid of the intensity of the connection and that's the reason why it's not working out.

For you it's hard to let go because you don't have that fear and you can see clearly how happy the two of you can be, but since he has that fear , he keeps making mistakes and trying to run away from it. Vertex people in general are hard to let go, there is either a lesson there or fate.
I've found myself learning all my lessons and keep going back to him as if almost to test me how much I've learned. There is truly a sense of fate and destiny, but what's meant to be shall be. You might end up together but in a later point of your lives, so my advice is let go. Do whatever you have to do to move on. Don't push yourself hard too. Don't look for someone to replace that feeling he gave you because it's unlikely to happen. Just date around enough to forget about him and leave it in the hands of fate.

Don't let him get into your skin, set firm boundaries. If he wants something let him come and fight for it and prove his worth to be in your life. Our charts look almost identical when it comes to aspects and I feel your pain deeply. It's normal he would come back on a Venus retrograde. My best advice is keep your grid up until Venus goes direct, because it might be a test to show what you have learned, for both of you.

(I also have NN conjunct Venus in Scorpio heh. Our charts are very similair, I also have Mars conj Dsc ... )

My heart goes to you <3
 
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Librastar

Librastar

Well-known member
ardentika said:
How is Sun her co-ruler of 7th when her Dsc is in Cancer?

And oh boy! Girl! I feel for you. I had those same aspects with someone I still can't get over.
We had Asc conj Vertex mutual, Jupiter conj NN mutual (Jupiter rules his Dsc and my Asc), and Vertex exactly conjunct Dsc in composite. We also had exact IC/MC conjunction as you do.
And didn't work out. Same ****. On and off, both can't fully let go, he cheated, he got back with his ex, dated around. My guess is those guys are really afraid of the intensity of the connection and that's the reason why it's not working out.

For you it's hard to let go because you don't have that fear and you can see clearly how happy the two of you can be, but since he has that fear , he keeps making mistakes and trying to run away from it. Vertex people in general are hard to let go, there is either a lesson there or fate.
I've found myself learning all my lessons and keep going back to him as if almost to test me how much I've learned. There is truly a sense of fate and destiny, but what's meant to be shall be. You might end up together but in a later point of your lives, so my advice is let go. Do whatever you have to do to move on. Don't push yourself hard too. Don't look for someone to replace that feeling he gave you because it's unlikely to happen. Just date around enough to forget about him and leave it in the hands of fate.

Don't let him get into your skin, set firm boundaries. If he wants something let him come and fight for it and prove his worth to be in your life. Our charts look almost identical when it comes to aspects and I feel your pain deeply. It's normal he would come back on a Venus retrograde. My best advice is keep your grid up until Venus goes direct, because it might be a test to show what you have learned, for both of you.

(I also have NN conjunct Venus in Scorpio heh. Our charts are very similair, I also have Mars conj Dsc ... )

My heart goes to you <3
Click to expand...

Awh thank you so much. I really connect to your response.

The sun is a coruler because leo is apart of my 7th house, as is virgo.

I was actually the one who left this relationship. He didn't appreciate me in my opinion. I think he was all for the connection he just didn't do anything to embrace our relationship ... he has a lot of pisces/neptune in his chart and he doesn't always like to live in reality... hes kind of in a haze someones...hes odd.

He has fought for me ... since we ended I just wasn't ready until recently. Unfortunately for me the worst time to be ready.....

You're right tho fate has a role in this and if its meant to work out it might.... he had a lot of self work to do when I left him ...so I don't know if hes even there yet.... maybe he needs this relationship to help him get there.
 
Librastar

Librastar

Well-known member
By posting these charts I guess I'm hoping to know if what I feel is real. Or if I'm just delusional in remembering the connection I think we had.
 
ardentika

ardentika

Well-known member
Librastar said:
By posting these charts I guess I'm hoping to know if what I feel is real. Or if I'm just delusional in remembering the connection I think we had.
Click to expand...
How funny... I ask myselfthe same question and 3 years later no answer..
I ask myself is it right, is it healthy, is it just a test or is it real love.. >.>

It's interesting to hear this side of the story, when did you separate?
 
T

thelivingsky

Well-known member
Librastar,

Maybe it's your Moon in Cancer that keeps you clinging and not able to let go. That Moon squares your Sun implying a very basic internal conflict, as if you are at war with yourself. Cancer wants deep connection, security, instinctual relating; Libra wants it light, pleasant and avoids looking at the deeper darker stuff. In the synastry his Mars activates this square of yours.



In the Steven Forrest SkyMates book he claims that these Moon/Mars synastric connections create very hot emotional connections, to parapharase: you make each others blood boil.



The Composite chart reiterates the Moon/Mars issues with the Moon squaring Mars adding to emotional turmoil/tension. The Sun/Merc trine to the Moon in the composite is a very nice aspect, very seductive. But the Moon is in H6 always a very bad place for the Composite Moon.



Here is a formula I have used for decades to interpret the strength of romantic relationships using composite charts;
1. Good aspects need to out weigh the negative.
2. The Moon needs to be "happy". That means no more than one harsh square or opposition (jupiter aspects can be ignored here.) The Moon is SO important in personal relationships.
3.The Sun and Moon should not be inH6 or H12.
4. No t-squares or multiple oppositions.
5. Nodes need to be on Sun or Moon, or N.node on the AScendant, or nodes in a big stellium or squaring a big stellium. I know this sounds counter-intuitive but 40 years of watching and collecting composites confirms that these Node placements are perhaps the biggest indicator of longevity in an otherwise decent composite.


You don't have most of these in your composite. neither the synastry nor the composite are very strong .


How is it you "trust him" yet you were so "damaged" by the relationship? This seems contradictory. Maybe your Libra Sun keeps you from facing some truths about him, you, the relationship or your own anger? . Both Libra and Cancer hate conflict, strife, discord and want to convey an image of caring, sweetness etc. Are you so identified with this personae you cannot be angry at him in the way you really need to be to get closure, to really move on? just wondering.
 
Librastar

Librastar

Well-known member
thelivingsky said:
Librastar,

Maybe it's your Moon in Cancer that keeps you clinging and not able to let go. That Moon squares your Sun implying a very basic internal conflict, as if you are at war with yourself. Cancer wants deep connection, security, instinctual relating; Libra wants it light, pleasant and avoids looking at the deeper darker stuff. In the synastry his Mars activates this square of yours.



In the Steven Forrest SkyMates book he claims that these Moon/Mars synastric connections create very hot emotional connections, to parapharase: you make each others blood boil.



The Composite chart reiterates the Moon/Mars issues with the Moon squaring Mars adding to emotional turmoil/tension. The Sun/Merc trine to the Moon in the composite is a very nice aspect, very seductive. But the Moon is in H6 always a very bad place for the Composite Moon.



Here is a formula I have used for decades to interpret the strength of romantic relationships using composite charts;
1. Good aspects need to out weigh the negative.
2. The Moon needs to be "happy". That means no more than one harsh square or opposition (jupiter aspects can be ignored here.) The Moon is SO important in personal relationships.
3.The Sun and Moon should not be inH6 or H12.
4. No t-squares or multiple oppositions.
5. Nodes need to be on Sun or Moon, or N.node on the AScendant, or nodes in a big stellium or squaring a big stellium. I know this sounds counter-intuitive but 40 years of watching and collecting composites confirms that these Node placements are perhaps the biggest indicator of longevity in an otherwise decent composite.


You don't have most of these in your composite. neither the synastry nor the composite are very strong .


How is it you "trust him" yet you were so "damaged" by the relationship? This seems contradictory. Maybe your Libra Sun keeps you from facing some truths about him, you, the relationship or your own anger? . Both Libra and Cancer hate conflict, strife, discord and want to convey an image of caring, sweetness etc. Are you so identified with this personae you cannot be angry at him in the way you really need to be to get closure, to really move on? just wondering.
Click to expand...

Sorry I should clarify I went to him after a bad relationship I had with someone else. He wasn't the bad relationship
 
Librastar

Librastar

Well-known member
thelivingsky said:
Librastar,

Maybe it's your Moon in Cancer that keeps you clinging and not able to let go. That Moon squares your Sun implying a very basic internal conflict, as if you are at war with yourself. Cancer wants deep connection, security, instinctual relating; Libra wants it light, pleasant and avoids looking at the deeper darker stuff. In the synastry his Mars activates this square of yours.



In the Steven Forrest SkyMates book he claims that these Moon/Mars synastric connections create very hot emotional connections, to parapharase: you make each others blood boil.



The Composite chart reiterates the Moon/Mars issues with the Moon squaring Mars adding to emotional turmoil/tension. The Sun/Merc trine to the Moon in the composite is a very nice aspect, very seductive. But the Moon is in H6 always a very bad place for the Composite Moon.



Here is a formula I have used for decades to interpret the strength of romantic relationships using composite charts;
1. Good aspects need to out weigh the negative.
2. The Moon needs to be "happy". That means no more than one harsh square or opposition (jupiter aspects can be ignored here.) The Moon is SO important in personal relationships.
3.The Sun and Moon should not be inH6 or H12.
4. No t-squares or multiple oppositions.
5. Nodes need to be on Sun or Moon, or N.node on the AScendant, or nodes in a big stellium or squaring a big stellium. I know this sounds counter-intuitive but 40 years of watching and collecting composites confirms that these Node placements are perhaps the biggest indicator of longevity in an otherwise decent composite.


You don't have most of these in your composite. neither the synastry nor the composite are very strong .


How is it you "trust him" yet you were so "damaged" by the relationship? This seems contradictory. Maybe your Libra Sun keeps you from facing some truths about him, you, the relationship or your own anger? . Both Libra and Cancer hate conflict, strife, discord and want to convey an image of caring, sweetness etc. Are you so identified with this personae you cannot be angry at him in the way you really need to be to get closure, to really move on? just wondering.
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for the response. Honestly a lot of valuable information here. I used what you said and compared it to long term couples and I believe you are right.

Do you have an opinion on the Davidson chart?
 
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