Then we will have to agree to disagree. First of all, I never meant to say that we can
avoid difficulties shown in our charts. This means avoiding a problem, avoiding a lesson, avoiding growth. If we do that, we learn nothing, and because we have learned nothing, we have nothing to give to others.
Avoiding difficulties and overcoming them is not the same thing.
Each time we choose an option, we change. The change can be good, or it can be bad. Am I the same person I was when I was five, fifteen or twenty-five? If you are talking about DNA, yes. If you are talking about how I view myself, other people and the world, no. I'm not the same person.
Good grief, what do you think I have been talking about? How we react to life is everything. When we face disappoinments, losses, set-backs of all kinds, we can either become angry and shake our fists as the world, fate, destiny, or we can "get on with it". If we face obstacles with courage, we present an example to other people who are facing the same obstacles. We are saying, in effect: "I've faced this and come out on top. You can too. I'll be glad to share with you what I've learned, in case it will make it easier for you."
Or we can say, "It's hopeless. Give up. When life puts obstacles in your way, 'throw in the towel'. Feel defeated, angry, wronged."
I agree with you about self-control and compassion. But you have completely ignored liberation, the ability to free ourselves from fears that serve no purpose, that do nothing but keep us in chains simply because we have failed to
see the chains that we have
put on ourselves.
If I lose an arm or a leg, that's out of my control. That part of me is gone.
But if I lose my ability to love, to show emotion, to reach out to people who are lonely and hurting, to extend a helping hand, to encourage other people to keep trying—if I lose those things, in the end it is my fault and only my fault. As long as I blame my friends, my country, my parents, or my chart for my weaknesses, I have convenient excuses for not growing as a human being.
That I will not accept. I don't think anyone should. I don't think you should. If you do!
But again you are liking aversion (which is what avoiding is) with facing a problem head-on (overcoming something). No, we can't control our experiences, at least the ones that are not directly caused by our own foolish acts, but we have unlimited opportunity to change the way we respond to what happens to us.
You've stated your viewpoint. I've stated mine. They are not the same. Let's leave it at that.