Whenever I attempt to untangle my core self, I'm uncertain what it is and whether it exists. It's nice to search though. There are a lot of thoughts in my head, but I'm rather exhausted. lol
Interesting how it's the opposite for me. I'm certain of my core as something has compelled me to dig deep enough to find it. Note: at a certain point there is no more digging that can be done and you seem to hit a wall, but I take these as intrinsic, immovable properties. Where our strengths and weakness lie, the ones that are always there
But the rest, that's there the entanglement comes. It confuses me sometimes, but I just try to enjoy it. What springs forth from the core is as untameable and unpredictable as the cosmos
I want to say, I've been thinking a lot about enneagram lately and I still think you're a 9. I notice that 9s and 4s go through opposing yet somehow similar complexes. Both have issues with identity but the core reason why is very very different. 9s seem to report not knowing who they are or sometimes not even feeling like they're anything because they've allowed their egos to be so permeated into the environment
--compared to the 4 who will never ever ever feel like they are nothing. It's a tendency to do more of the opposite. Become so solidly centered in the self, even the everchanging self, that strict boundaries are created between the self and what is external
The books are like 1000 pages each and 14 books. It's true epic fantasy. I love it.
Dude, you should watch PontyPool, the horror movie. It plays a lot with language in a thrilling sort of way.
I kind of get lost in the quality of voices as opposed to the content. That's probably why I enjoy ASMR so much. I don't care what they're saying, but if it's said a certain way, I relax into it.
Time for me to become a reader again so... well I may not want to start with 1000 pages, but I'll work my way up lol
I'll look into PontyPool. I have a thing for weird, strange horror movies that most people won't like. If it plays with language, there's a guarantee I'll at least like it
your base self is more engaged in lower consciousness levels, it seems to me. I'm the same way. I say that because the lower you go, the less relevant language becomes at least in the way of strict definitions. That's not how things work the lower(or higher depending on how you view it) you go. So you'll easily get lost more in the landscape of sounds and how they make you feel than anything that would make sense in an Earthly manifestation. I've found ASMR very relaxing and helpful myself for anxiety and it'd possibly help with sleep
reminds me of theories of mine about meaning of language and sounds as I was once taught by a linguistics professor that meaning isn't inherent in sounds, but I feel that's not true
I've used the fact that the first written language that included what we could call 'letters',a derivative of pictographs, didn't include vowels and vowels are very vital to meaning. That would mean there was no guidance on the inflection, the accentuation, nothing. The vowel sounds would've been completely based on the moment, the experience, something that runs deeper than structured language
It was the Greeks who started adding in vowels sounds once they got to Egypt. Europe was the first continent to lose its heritage, its roots. So of course they'd bastardize it
Here's an interesting facet: The letter 'A' derived from what was once a pictograph of an ox. You could imagine an ox being the leader, right at the beginning of an alphabet, which would seem to indicate its origins ran far deeper than I think most linguists can really grasp today. To something more intrinsic, something felt, something in the soul