Venus Scorpio and letting go

spacebaby

Member
The man I was dating for about month said he wasn't ready to be that close to another human yet. He admitted that he was engaged before dating me, which I had not known. I took it kinda hard because I felt a strong connection.

He's a Sag sun, cancer moon, Scorpio venus, and libra mars. would that combo make it hard to get over break ups?

And should I attempt at a friendship or leave him alone?
thanks in advance for any reply's
 

waybread

Well-known member
It's hard to say without seeing his chart, but a Cancer moon has about the strongest emotions of any moon sign. They long to merge with another person. If they get deeply hurt, however, the Crab is liable to retreat into his shell, and snap his claws occasionally. He may be in full retreat mode.

It is hard to say without knowing much about your chart or his, but generally a light touch is best in these situations rather than to get into some kind of ballroom dance where the more you advance, the more he retreats.
 

spacebaby

Member
It's hard to say without seeing his chart, but a Cancer moon has about the strongest emotions of any moon sign. They long to merge with another person. If they get deeply hurt, however, the Crab is liable to retreat into his shell, and snap his claws occasionally. He may be in full retreat mode.

It is hard to say without knowing much about your chart or his, but generally a light touch is best in these situations rather than to get into some kind of ballroom dance where the more you advance, the more he retreats.
. Hmm ok thx! I will post his chart and mine once I get to a computer. On my phone now
 

spacebaby

Member
It's hard to say without seeing his chart, but a Cancer moon has about the strongest emotions of any moon sign. They long to merge with another person. If they get deeply hurt, however, the Crab is liable to retreat into his shell, and snap his claws occasionally. He may be in full retreat mode.

It is hard to say without knowing much about your chart or his, but generally a light touch is best in these situations rather than to get into some kind of ballroom dance where the more you advance, the more he retreats.
Here are our charts. thanks for looking!!
 

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waybread

Well-known member
In looking at this man's chart, I think you have to take him at his word. A bad break-up should give a person pause about starting the next one, if he's mature enough not to simply want to grab someone else on the rebound to salve his wounded pride.

With his sun-Uranus-MC conjunct in freedom-loving Sagittarius, this man does need his space, moreover. His Scorpio Venus isn't badly aspected and conjuncts his 7th house ruler Mercury, suggesting that a solid relationship is important to him. But with Saturn sitting on these planets plus his sun, and closing squaring his AC (another real "me" point) he may either internalize the idea that love will disppoint him; or else that (more maturely) he has the staying power to wait for the right lady at the right time. Moon square Pluto can suggest some issues involving power dynamics with women; and Mars-square moon, sudden anger flashes, though basically his moon looks like it's in decent shape

If we compare your charts, you sun exactly conjuncts his moon. Your moon conjuncts his sun. These are powerful inter-aspects, so if nothing else you have the capacity to be excellent friends.

So far as romance and sexuality go, his Mars (the "boy" planet) conjuncts your Saturn-Pluto; so even without your meaning to, he may see you as inhibiting his masculine expression in some way. I don't think you can or should downplay this: rather see if there's an empowering interpretation out there if your relationship continues. Because of your sun-Pluto square your sun (identity) you may struggle with a lot of power dynamics in relationships unless you can use this energy to be a huge stand for personal development and self-transformation.

Because if you do get together and you've got some unresolved sun-Pluto-Saturn issues, and he's Mr. I. Gotta B. Me (sun-Uranus) it might be hard to work out an interpersonal style that supports both of you. But with your Sagittarius moon-Venus-Jupiter combo, you need some freedom in a relationship, as well. So this is doable.

Your Mars is just off conjuncting his Venus (the "girl") planet although they are in compatible signs. Ditto for your Venus and his Mars.

You can go through the rest of your interactions in this fashion, but I would just focus on the ones involving your inner planets and ascendants.

Just now transiting Neptune is squaring both your sets of Sagittarius planets, so this makes it especially difficult to determine what is real and what is only illusion.

Sometimes a composite chart will tell a different story-- sometimes not. You can do one at Astrodinest, so it's worth a look.
 

spacebaby

Member
Also I don't know how to read a composite chart or any for that matter. But if ya feel like taking a look that would be grand. Thanks.
 

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mdinaz

Well-known member
In the composite, a mars/uranus square in fire signs would be difficult to handle for most people. Although the sun/moon/mercury conjunction gives you far greater ability than most to handle it and the square is wide, this is a relationship that would require a LOT of freedom. Given what has been said above regarding control in the natal charts, I don't personally think it is doable, only because there aren't any other compelling aspects in the composite to hold it together. The sun is square neptune giving it a nice fuzzy feeling, but it will be fleeting. Mars in the 7th with a square to Uranus indicates arguments. I don't see any other karmic indications either to make this a "must do". That's just my opinion.
 

spacebaby

Member
In the composite, a mars/uranus square in fire signs would be difficult to handle for most people. Although the sun/moon/mercury conjunction gives you far greater ability than most to handle it and the square is wide, this is a relationship that would require a LOT of freedom. Given what has been said above regarding control in the natal charts, I don't personally think it is doable, only because there aren't any other compelling aspects in the composite to hold it together. The sun is square neptune giving it a nice fuzzy feeling, but it will be fleeting. Mars in the 7th with a square to Uranus indicates arguments. I don't see any other karmic indications either to make this a "must do". That's just my opinion.
thanks for your response. Is a composite chart something that changes? I not familiar with them just pulled it in astro.com. Per last request. I was just curious. I can't stop thinking about him. And I sort feel bad that he's emotionally idle right now, as far as opening up. My last break up took me years to get over so I feel like I know where he's comin from. Also I do truly want to be his friend but he seems to need space now. I know we will see each other again. Having the same interest and what not. Maybe then I can gauge how I feel about him once time had gone by. Maybe by then I will have forgotten or will feel better about everything. Anyway thanks again for replying I find comfort in astrology
 

mdinaz

Well-known member
A composite chart is the chart of you as a couple. How you interact as individuals is different than how you interact as a couple - and most people who've been married can relate. The composite works for all relationships though - siblings, parents/kids, etc. It doesn't change. I've heard of some people progressing the natal charts and then doing a composite on that, but I don't think it works because the progressed chart shows how you grow and change as you get older, but doesn't necessarily reflect the core you and where you came from. While your reactions to some of the aspects may change as you mature, your core personalities and gut reactions do not. Because of your conjunct moons, I can see how you feel about this - that is a very close emotional bond. However it takes more than that for a solid relationship - emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual all have to be represented. You'd likely make excellent and close friends, but as an intimate couple I don't think it is realistic.
 

spacebaby

Member
A composite chart is the chart of you as a couple. How you interact as individuals is different than how you interact as a couple - and most people who've been married can relate. The composite works for all relationships though - siblings, parents/kids, etc. It doesn't change. I've heard of some people progressing the natal charts and then doing a composite on that, but I don't think it works because the progressed chart shows how you grow and change as you get older, but doesn't necessarily reflect the core you a


Ok that makes sense, thanks! I wonder if you saw anything in my chart that was a conflicting or difficult aspect as far as relationships go. In general not just romantic ones. I ask because I find it hard to build relationship with ppl. It seems like other people do it with ease. Find new friends romantic partners etc. maybe it's something I need to work on or maybe I'm just having an emotional day.
 

waybread

Well-known member
spacebaby, it is very natural and normal for people to keep thinking about "the one that got away," until the next relationship rolls up. I am a baby boomer, and have never forgotten my gigantic crush on a boy in high school, who didn't return the compliment. Life does this to us. But Time Marches On and you deserve someone more compatible on the romantic level.

Your composite-- with that moon/Mercury/sun conjunction-- underlines that you have the capacity to be great friends. Should something develop between you two in the future, this would be the place to begin. People often start with the romantic sizzle and then find out their partner actually isn't their good friend. I don't quite see the romantic sizzle, however, and those big Neptune-Jupiter squares can indicate a lot of idealism that may be different than the grounded reality.

Sometimes when a solid relationship seems an eternity in happening, it is because the right person hasn't come into your life yet. With your seventh house Cancer sun, you have a lot of love to give, and being in a relationship is very important to you. If you can let go of this as a "need" however, you will probably be better positioned when you do find the right person.
 

mdinaz

Well-known member
Ok that makes sense, thanks! I wonder if you saw anything in my chart that was a conflicting or difficult aspect as far as relationships go. In general not just romantic ones. I ask because I find it hard to build relationship with ppl. It seems like other people do it with ease. Find new friends romantic partners etc. maybe it's something I need to work on or maybe I'm just having an emotional day.

The only thing I can see is that you have the Sun in the 7th, in Cancer, ruled by the Moon in the 11th. The moon is conjunct Uranus in a fire sign - you may come on too strong emotionally, too fast - don't include people so fast into personal emotional stuff. You have mercury trine your moon and uranus too, so your mental processes are very fast and may just overwhelm people in the beginning. Being witty and quick are great for friendships, but hitting people with emotional stuff right away scares most people. Your venus is also square the moon, so you may also equate love with complete total emotional sharing. Emotional sharing is great, but build the mental rapport first, and ease into the emotional stuff later. If someone is truly your friend or lover, by that point, the emotional stuff won't scare them off.
 
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