Hello Roos,
i´m not an astrologer , but i think you may be mentioning your Ascendant (how other perceive you) in Opposition with Saturn.
Saturn can mean restriction therefore meaning depression.
Also you have chiron in first house conjunct ascendant, meaning that you have a wound in how others perceive you.
I see a "game" Between your ascedant , chiron and saturn.
Maybe you project yourself to others as a "wounded" person , depressed.
You also have your saturn square venus ( how you relate to others , what you like in women). Saturn can be very heavy and karmic to bear.
Looking at other aspects maybe you have some difficulty being assertive or expressing anger in a normal way.
I can´t help much in terms of astrological meaning , but maybe i can give you some insight from personal experiences.
Not many people in the world know this or if they know they ignore it but whatever you feel inside or think about yourself will be undoubtedly expressed to the outside world through your body language.
Like avoiding eye contact in a conversation, not having a straight posture, not being expressive at all. These things unconsciously are being interpreted by our brains and can dictate opinions , likes and dislikes. We all have these types of behaviour that we aren´t aware of.
Maybe you will always feel that the opposing eye is judging how you are or feel , dress , think and opinate.
It all stops when you actually look inside yourself and stop trying to hide your flaws from others. Accept who you are internally. Think about what´s the worst thing others can do/think about your image ,
Then think why is that a bad thing for you.
Once you accept who you are , your wounds , where you have come from, childhood etc ...
Nothing from the outside world will hurt you and that is called Self-love , Unconditional love. When you do this you will project an image to others likea sun being radiant that everyone wants to be around.
Low self-esteem is that only, low self-esteem. High-self esteem and low self-esteem both come from painful experiences that damaged the ego and people either try too hard to be accepted or try to lower other´s expectancy of them.
This is something that you may have to fight your whole life where in some moments your assertiveness , self-love will be put to test but that is only to make you grow.
Remember other´s opinion come and go but you being controlled by it is what stays if you remain afraid of yourself. Only you know yourself not others.