Confession

I have to confess/confide what happened to me.

Last week a man took advantage of me (sexually). At the time I felt sick and I still do. But I feel like I needed this to happen. I didn’t realise how deluded I was about sex and my fantasies. My 5th cusp is Pisces, and I find myself often in the trap of deluding myself and giving and sacrificing so much that ppl take advantage of me. Problem is, I am naturally so confident with sex and my body and men, that I have never felt the need to put up boundaries around men. I’m naturally very open and warm (5th ruler Neptune and Jupiter in Sagittarius in 1st and 2nd). So now, after what has happened, I feel like this was a needed reality check. It showed me what it’s really like. The man is a Saturn in Capricorn in his 1st house in my horaries. I believe he was another cold, control freak narcissist. I definitely attract these types due to my personality. I’m a magnet for them. He was a very warm, gentle, sweet, shy client of mine who I saw for a month with no problems. Then the last time he came to see me his eyes went black and he was a different person. Scary stuff. Now I’m trying really hard to keep my boundaries up with my clients. They all keep telling me they love my warm bubbly easy going personality but they tend to get the wrong idea about it. So whilst I’ll do my best to be firm, I still want to be true to myself, which will be a challenge.

That's horrible ;( did you go to the police already? Go if you haven't done it. It sound a bit that you are trying to reason this with logic when in matter of fact you were wrongfully violeted. Its not in your fault in any means (your personality etc.) and its not something that needed to happen. Not in a sense that he shouldn't pay for it anyways Your reaction (self-blame, reasoning) is very common in cases like these. I'm so sorry for you. Do you have familymember or friend who can help you in this time?

I’m so sorry. What he did was sexual assault and he should have to pay the consequences.

It’s a long road to recover from this kind of trauma. I’m here if you need anyone to talk to.

Also, seeing a therapist is a good idea; they can help give you tools to navigate trauma.

You are both right. Here I am thinking it is partially my fault. But when I think about it, I never dressed provocatively. I never hinted anything sexual. I was friendly and happy and child-like. So its not my fault. I'm wondering how I could have prevented it but I'm not sure. Perhaps not be so friendly? I can't tell family members. They'd be disappointed in me. I talked to a counselor who made me feel better.

Abby83 said:

I'm wondering how I could have prevented it but I'm not sure. Perhaps not be so friendly? I can't tell family members. They'd be disappointed in me. I talked to a counselor who made me feel better.

Click to expand...

He didn't assault you because you were friendly. He assaulted you because he chose to.

You don't need an astrology site for this. What you need is a rape counselor to get you through this, and a lawyer to help you prosecute this guy (or however that works in Australia).

If your family members are disappointed in you, something's wrong with them. They should be on your side. They should be upset at the guy who assaulted you, not at you.

If your house got broken into, would they be disappointed in you, or the burglars? How is being assaulted any different?

I agree with what others have already said, Abby. You deserve all the support you need. Take care

The counselor made you feel better---which is good---because you need to continue speaking to a counselor for a bit. Preferably one experienced with rape survivors.

If I remember correctly, you have a 12th house Sun? In Libra? It would be too easy for you to isolate yourself, and blame yourself, and feel ashamed, for something that was not your fault.

I totally understand why you feel you cannot tell your family right now. There are some of your family members that have been judgmental and antagonistic, and this would be something they might use against you.

So you need to keep going to counseling so you don't go all 12th house, and become your own worst enemy.

It is important for any trauma victim to engage in ongoing counseling. It’s also vital to report this man to the police because he’s a predator; by reporting him, you are protecting others from becoming victims.