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Unread 10-31-2016, 06:24 AM
love-thinking love-thinking is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 606
Re: Lilith conjunct ascendant

I have BML conjunct my mc (4.5 degree orb), BML opposite sun(below 0), and square ascendent(4.5), and BML inconjunct venus. I don't know if these are huge orbs.

I have had times, when I'd literally feel ugly as f, and a guy would magically be smitten by me on a date, or through webcam and I'd be here thinking about how he's going to reject me or how ugly I may look. But then again I also have chiron and aphrodite conjunct my libra ascendent(1 degree)and venus trine it along with lots of dark goddess asteroids on my first house like persophophone. I don't know about obsession, I've had men want to **** me, with some having no control over themselves even at inappropriate times. I used to use sex as a way to make up with my ex and he'd always give in. He called me a temptress and has called me a sexy ***** in bed after a fight.


Men treat me like an object, some sort of conquest, sometimes it gets overbearing because sometimes all I want is a man to see me as a human with feelings rather than the next conquest to stimulate their ego and penis but there's nothing I can do about it. I say no, their egos are bruised and somettimes they won't give up until they get what they want. Most of the time, I run because I feel stuck. There's no practicality with my interaction with men. They are purely run by instincts and take things too personally.

And in a relationship, my kindness and thoughtfulness is usually overpowered by how many guys I know, how many times I message him per day, and whether I wear provacative clothing or make up. My heart and acts of kindness is not enough to prove any kind of loyalty. (My last relationship ended because he thought I cheated but I didn't)

But then again, even my chart says I attract firey, impulsive, sexed, egomaniac creeps that are run by their emotions, impulses and insecurities. Perhaps I attract other lilith types?


Anyways, I'm not going to say I hate my sex appeal, I just sometimes wish that I felt as sexy inside as these men treat me on the outside. I just wish I saw it but I don't.
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