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Unread 04-13-2020, 11:03 AM
Aniko Aniko is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 45
Re: My chart. Mentally illness in family and abuse

Quote:
Originally Posted by Osamenor View Post
For a tendency to have younger partners, the first thing I look for is Mercury at the DC, or barring that, at least in the seventh house, ruling the seventh house, or conjunct the seventh house ruler. But you don't have any of those placements.

So, my thought is it's not so much a constant attraction to younger people as it is a certain relationship dynamic that works for you. If you are the older woman in an older woman/younger man relationship, and this pattern holds across several relationships, what's the dynamic in those relationships? It has to be different from the dynamic you would have if you were dating older men or men your own age. (For all practical purposes, though, a man four years younger than you is your age, especially by this time in your life.)

In particular, I wonder what kind of chatter is going on between your Moon and Mars. Mars is the closest planet you have to your DC, and it's in your whole sign seventh house, so I would consider it in the context of your relationships. It's also, for everyone, the planet of sex drive and passion, and there's a common belief among some astrologers that Mars in a woman's chart represents the men she's attracted to. (Personally, I have a lot of problems with that--it assumes that everyone is heterosexual, which is not true, and it seems to be based on the idea that Mars is an exclusively masculine planet that women must disown in themselves and project onto men.)

Moon, meanwhile, represents a certain feminine principle, particularly a "mothering" one. Do these younger men see you as a mother figure, in any sense? Do you mother them, in some sense? Since your Moon is in Aquarius, I wouldn't expect a very lovey-dovey, kiss your bruises kind of mothering energy from you, but a more distant sort of mothering energy, the kind that says, "Do what you will, but make me proud!"
My Mars is in Taurus and my Moon is square Mars if that is any help to you?

Maybe it is as you say that I have been wanting to be a mother to them. But why then would I not want to have a man who would be like a father to me instead, since I miss him so much? I really dont know and I am trying to understand myself.

I dont want to be in an unequal relationship where only one part gives and the other just takes. That is why I am afraid of feeling this attraction to younger men. And also people around me could have opinions...

Maybe in some way I fall for men that I know that I will not get. Because I am afraid of true love or feel that I am not worthy to be loved. If someone approaches me and is really kind to me I back off, I get suspicious and even cold. Instead I "chase" men that I know I will not be with in the end after all.

I need help to get out of this vicious circle. I dont want to be alone and still I keep ending up alone because of bad choices.

I don't agree of being detached as a mother. I am very warm towards my kids and I spoil them and actually smother them. I love to cuddle, kiss and hug them and they give me so much love back.

I want to give love and I am very loving, I am very bad at accepting kindness and love though. It kind of makes me feel guilty.
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