Neptune Is My Taboo

This has been something I have been pondering for a while now. It seems to me like everyone has a particular type(s) of energy that they don't work well with, but seem to be drawn to it. This could either be energy patterns of people, environments, animals, you name it (as I believe that there is an "energy" to everything). I believe that this can be applied to astrology as well. I know not if there is anything to this, or this is just a personal anomaly I have noticed with myself. Which, is distinctly possible given my directive to be drawn to the taboo.

For me, the astrological energy that is "taboo" for me, is Neptune, or Neptunian energy in general. There is something about that is deeply fascinating, enthralling, and endless about it. It also bridges the world between the light and dark in a way I can't conceive myself; it fuses them into a seamless whole, and I want to explore that. Oh how I want to explore the darkness within the light and never come back.

Yet, Neptunian energy is dangerous to me. It is actually counter in many ways to how I am. Someone who is very black and white with defined borders, plans, principals, and rules. When I see someone who is Neptunian to their core, I think to myself: "Wow, how do they do that. Everything is just seamless and unplanned yet intuitive". I am naturally quite intuitive as well, but my methods for it are traceable and tangible.

If one were to look at my chart, it becomes apparent that my Neptune is hit pretty hard. It's conjunct Saturn for one (restriction), it opposes Mars exactly (ungroundable physicality), squares my ascendent, and opposes chiron and midhaven at a wide orb. In my chart, Neptunian energy is not allowed to easily flow around. Much more so then any other planet.

When I try to merge into Neptunain energy I start to fall apart. It beckons me often. Much of the music I listen to has a highly neptunain feel to it, and I feel whisked away to another world oh so easily. It's a beautiful escape for me. In college I came across several neptunain individuals, and was fascinated with them and their antics. Seeing that I have a fascination with the devious, and anything that I feel is "non-permitted" with me, I saw these folks and their forays into drugs as such a mystical realm. Oh how I longed to do what they did. Drink all day, go to bed, not remember a thing, go to class hung over and repeat. It was as if there was a man holding them up the entire time directing their movements. Watching themselves go through the motions completely living in the moment but perpetually having one foot out the door. Same with drugs. Any time I tried to merge with this. This dark side of neptune, I fell apart. I could not sustain myself and felt like I was violating the key principals of myself.

It was forbideen, taboo, in every regard for me. I am freaked out easily by anything not plans and nailed down. Any sort of uncertainty. Neptune uproots that and in my life I experience an inordinate amount of stress due to unknowns around me. Yet in hindsight, those things were energizing. I had a keen rememberence of those times and they are burned into my memory, sectionalized.

In summation. I feel like neptunain energy is something I will always be drawn to, because it is something that I just am not. My mom would say to me when I was a child that I would always be drawn to neptunian things (music, art, games, etc.) but would ultimately become Plutionian (which is what I am) as I went through it. For background purposes my mom has known what my natal chart is since I was 4 or so.

So I open the floor to discussion. Do you feel that there is anything to this? What energy, planet, or sign for you is "the taboo", what is your relation to it, how do you manage it. Most importantly though, how do you feel when you attempt to merge with it?

Discuss! [FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]
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Can I suggest that if Neptune (by hard aspect) is strong in your chart, then it is a part of you but one that is difficult to integrate well perhaps? This may be why you don't identify with it so much, and feel at odds with it.

I have a strong Neptune (by hard aspect too), though also a Pisces sun, and I can tell you I don't find it easy energy. It also conflicts with other things in my chart, it doesn't work very well with strong 8th house energy I find (perhaps because I am to aware of how it operates psychologically within me, so I'm very conscious of it) and my mars (though debilitated in itself - in libra in the 8th, retrograde and conjunct saturn) makes many aspects in my chart, including by declination; that along with my 1st house sun and I'm always telling myself "neptune, I DO have an identity, an ego, so get the fuq off my back!) Lool. Tricky energy for sure

Sorry, "can I suggest" sounded a little haughty! Not like me

tautomer said:

When I try to merge into Neptunian energy I start to fall apart.[FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]
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Well, that's what Neptune does for a living, yes? Loosens, unglues, and so on. I think it is hard for Plutonian type people to deal with this, because of control issues. Maybe as you get older you'll have more positive experiences of letting go.

Pluto dominates my chart, and Neptune is in my 12th house. I had a hard time with Neptune early on -- a lot of fear of the intuitive/psychic part, mind- altering substances, the floating feeling of being unmoored -- but with Pisces North Node, had to grow into it. For me, letting go was liberating, because I didn't have to be 'in charge' any more... a realization of higher powers at work.

tautomer said:

What energy, planet, or sign for you is "the taboo", what is your relation to it, how do you manage it. Most importantly though, how do you feel when you attempt to merge with it? [FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana][FONT=Arial, Sans, Verdana]
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For me, it's Saturn, which is largely unaspected in my chart... makes one quintile, and that's it. (Both parents had very strong Saturn energies, aspecting my Sun and Ascendant, so they provided Saturn for me when I was young.) As an adult, I behave in very Saturn ways, or just the opposite -- which I think is typical of an unaspected planet. Also carry a lot of anxiety. In any event, I have a hard time getting a handle on how it should be used. It's a very conscious effort, with Saturn in Virgo.

Saturn transits are very hard for me. They all seem to express negatively. One thing I'll attribute to Saturn is learning patience... more or less. My chart is a very impatient one, so this is an important lesson. But I don't really 'manage' the planet very well at all. And I'm past my second Saturn return! (Not growing old gracefully.)

Interesting note about you having pisces north-node. I also have that too, and that must be a major reason why I am so drawn to it. Not only is it difficult for me to intergrate, and when I do try I often do it wrong, but it's something I HAVE to do. I do have one major bonus though; my mother is very neptunian, so I use her as my model in a lot of respects. I'm extremely close to her and look up to her so I do have that. Interestingly, plutonian energy is very difficult for her, and that's what I am. We help each other in so many tremendous ways .

MJ- yes I totally agree one who is plutonian will have a particularly rough time with neptune since pluto is all about control, and neptune is all about the disregard of it.

Ouch, I'd imagine having saturnian energy as a rough area to be one of the worst. Mostly because it most directly effects the physical world in my opinion. Keep trying and keeping on keeping on though; that's one of the biggest lessons of saturn, is to keep going. Going by what you have said, you seem to have done that wonderfully so far, so you are certainly doing something right!

I do believe my own is Plutonian and Saturnian, which is interesting considering I am a Capricorn imo.

Currently my nature seems to be going from Neptunian to Saturnian however as I get older, I've realized my old habits of running away, delusional dreaminess and a lifestyle of martyrdom and depression are holding me back. I am less attracted to the dream-like world now, and somehow, staring at many drug takers and deep thinkers in my life is a little worrying at times. I really do not understand how their minds work. The deep questions, the worries, the nervousness,

Neptune Is My Taboo I can see the evidence of your Neptune in your writing...good stuff.
I would tend to agree that Neptune is my taboo planet as well...It is joined in the 12th house with Saturn...I read elsewhere that this tells something about my 'birth trauma', although I know little about that...for years I think that this combination of Saturn/Neptune kept me trapped in a prison of withdrawal and retreat...painfully shy and socially inept; the years of teen-dom were a nightmare for me...I got teased a lot and always felt insecure and unworthy; yet still I won academic notations that I did not feel I deserved...the rest of my life has been full of disappointments, disruptions, betrayals and deceptions thanks to Neptune...combined with my Pisces moon I felt largely adrift in a tumultuous sea of battered emotions...and eventually chose a more monastic life of retreat and study...In learning about this conjunction of 'restriction' and 'dissolution', the only friendship I found with Neptune also led me to a great appreciating the arts...and being alone was never a problem...eventually though Neptune drew me closer to the reflection in the mirror of leaning towards mysticism, poetry, music and astrology; all things I needed to soothe my soul...yet joined with Saturn I was still brought to my knees many times and almost succumbed on a few occasions... With Saturn, it makes you question everything about what you think 'reality' truly is. I also experienced numerous metaphysical experiences that kept me off the beaten trail a lot as well. Yes, I think the energy of Neptune is very elusive indeed which contributes to much confusion and disorientation in the life especially as an afflicting influence. Many times I cursed my ill-fortune, trying to figure out what all this was trying to teach me. And only now, as I approach my second Saturn return have I begun to understand.
In the abbreviated version, it has been my cruxificion on the cross; my karma to bear; the recognition of how much stronger I have become through adversity. And it has provided me with a spiritual beacon to follow, for which I am very grateful. In the end I think that most of us experience Neptune as an enigma until we have learned to dissolve and release the illusions that have fooled us from behind the mask of delusion and misunderstanding. The energy beckons me to learn more, understand more, discover more, release my baggage and to gain greater faith in the fact that we are indeed 'spirits living in a material world.'Other associations of Neptune include: aspiring to higher consciousness, connection to divinity, psychic receptivity and intuition, heightened imagination [mostly considered taboo in todays world] ...

kimbermoon said:

Neptune Is My Taboo ... With Saturn, it makes you question everything about what you think 'reality' truly is.

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I think this is a good description of how Saturn-Neptune works. Interesting -- I had never thought about it in just that way.

kimbermoon said:

And only now, as I approach my second Saturn return have I begun to understand.

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Good luck to you with that second return.

kimbermoon said:

The energy beckons me to learn more, understand more, discover more, release my baggage and to gain greater faith in the fact that we are indeed 'spirits living in a material world.'Other associations of Neptune include: aspiring to higher consciousness, connection to divinity, psychic receptivity and intuition, heightened imagination [mostly considered taboo in todays world] ...

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I would have said we are material beings aspiring to the spirit. But maybe your comment about 'spirits living in a material world' reflects your conjunction of Saturn-Neptune in your 12th.

Your other descriptions, yes... often 'taboo' or scoffed at these days, unfortunately. I recently read an article that suggested that people who commune with God are schizophrenic. (!)

Hmm, interesting topic.

I've always been intrigued by Neptune. I believe the planet mostly works well for me. My Neptune is in Sagittarius, 3rd house, and retrograde, and trines Jupiter, Moon and Mercury and Sun in Aries/7th-8th house. What I feel Neptune does for me is open my mind to spiritual and higher dimensional spheres and as it is in a Fire sign, it does this without any nebulous, cloudy unreality. I'm both a student and teacher of metaphysical issues and have been for many years. It might seem that I'm prone to being ungrounded and living with my head in the clouds, but most of the time I have got both feet on the ground.

The planet I find hardest to deal with is Mars. I don't connect so well with its energy in 29 degrees Aquarius at the end of the 5th house. I find its energy fluctuates and is inconsistent. Sometimes I feel like I've 'lost' my Mars! Unlike Saturn, which I've felt all my life, sticking his grandfatherly nose in (with all due respect to Grandfather Time, of course), my Mars is lost somewhere in the ether.

Thank you Judy for your comments...
I think: it is schizophrenics who are those who can receive otherworldy messages...

Lucky you for having such a dignified Neptune...how do you think that relates to your 12th house energy though? And do you think planets at critical degrees indicate something special; like crisis or such?
ReMars: well, after all Aquarius is an energy relating to 'detachment' ...the trine to Uranus would tend to reinforce that. Perhaps it is the square to the Nodes which makes it elusive to try to understand?
Mars determines our physical actions, often inititated by our Lunar patterned 'reactions': it also represents how we go about setting our 'intentions' into action [being linked to the motivation of the Sun] My own Mars in Capricorn makes me slow in putting things into action, and I am often very careful in determining what my motivations are. I would say that Mars in Aquarius would be the opposite: being unpredictable and therefore reckless in starting things, as in acting before thinking perhaps.
I say for those of us who like to dwell in the other-worldly realm, rock on! And the imaginations of children should never be squelched.

vlsmercury7 said:

Hmm, interesting topic.

I've always been intrigued by Neptune. I believe the planet mostly works well for me. My Neptune is in Sagittarius, 3rd house, and retrograde, and trines Jupiter, Moon and Mercury and Sun in Aries/7th-8th house. What I feel Neptune does for me is open my mind to spiritual and higher dimensional spheres and as it is in a Fire sign, it does this without any nebulous, cloudy unreality. I'm both a student and teacher of metaphysical issues and have been for many years. It might seem that I'm prone to being ungrounded and living with my head in the clouds, but most of the time I have got both feet on the ground.

The planet I find hardest to deal with is Mars. I don't connect so well with its energy in 29 degrees Aquarius at the end of the 5th house. I find its energy fluctuates and is inconsistent. Sometimes I feel like I've 'lost' my Mars! Unlike Saturn, which I've felt all my life, sticking his grandfatherly nose in (with all due respect to Grandfather Time, of course), my Mars is lost somewhere in the ether.

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kimbermoon said:

Lucky you for having such a dignified Neptune...how do you think that relates to your 12th house energy though? And do you think planets at critical degrees indicate something special; like crisis or such?

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Although my 12th house is empty, I actually feel that the position of Neptune by default has given me the opportunity to tap into the subconscious and otherworldly spheres in a way that transcends boundaries. I also discovered a mystical side to the Virgo Ascendant through study and research. It is a side that might not be known to or experienced by others with this Ascendant.

kimbermoon said:

And do you think planets at critical degrees indicate something special; like crisis or such?

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Yes, I do believe that planets at critical degrees can help to identify something like a crisis. I read somewhere that a planet at 29 degrees of a sign behaves in such a way because it is like it is holding on to that last bit of energy before moving to the next sign. In my case with Mars, I feel it links in with feeling detached from both of my parents from birth. I was brought up feeling like I was an unwanted burden, and so I developed a level of independence early on. My mother nearly died having me and I think the shock upset both of my parents, although nothing has ever been said. A lot of things have been brushed under the carpet, taboo subject never to be discussed. It's not that there is no emotion felt. There is a lot of emotion, but it is kept under firm control. I feel that if I did bring it out into the open, it would cause so much upset, and I would rather enjoy the best out of the relationship I have with each of them than lose them both.

kimbermoon said:

ReMars: well, after all Aquarius is an energy relating to 'detachment' ...the trine to Uranus would tend to reinforce that. Perhaps it is the square to the Nodes which makes it elusive to try to understand?
Mars determines our physical actions, often inititated by our Lunar patterned 'reactions': it also represents how we go about setting our 'intentions' into action [being linked to the motivation of the Sun] My own Mars in Capricorn makes me slow in putting things into action, and I am often very careful in determining what my motivations are. I would say that Mars in Aquarius would be the opposite: being unpredictable and therefore reckless in starting things, as in acting before thinking perhaps.
I say for those of us who like to dwell in the other-worldly realm, rock on! And the imaginations of children should never be squelched.

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Yes, I agree with this. I think sometimes I can be slow putting things into action, whilst at other times, surprisingly fast. It depends on the situation. Generally, I'm cautious and careful when setting about an intention, but once I have confidence in my ability, I rarely give up, and that's when I might become a little forceful with myself, not with others.

tautomer said:

For me, the astrological energy that is "taboo" for me, is Neptune, or Neptunian energy in general. There is something about that is deeply fascinating, enthralling, and endless about it. It also bridges the world between the light and dark in a way I can't conceive myself; it fuses them into a seamless whole, and I want to explore that. Oh how I want to explore the darkness within the light and never come back.

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I can relate to your post, being a Pisces Rising & having Neptune in 10th Conj MC it's very much like myself. The urge to delve & never come back & the whole scene touched by plutonian energy is evident in your writing.... Explore the darkness & never come back........... It's exactly the way I always feel. I have a nose for taboos. I can hit dot-on where the deepest roots lie & it fascinates me. Strongly Neptunian/ Plutonian people attract me like magnets. I can catch one in a glance.
There's a certain 'madness' what I call it in these two planets. Neptune is so dreamy, so delusional so enticingly perfect. It's like taking a drug that you know will knock you out but it's so pleasurable.
I have a Sq to the Moon perhaps that's what blocks it's energy. I fear Losing myself to dreams/drugs often so try staying 'real' but have always been artistic.

For you I think the addiction to delve is the Node but also Saturn's restriction that makes you 'crave' the whole experience as Saturn tends to deprive us of what it touches. Also Mars Sq Neptune is a highly creative one but addicted to addictions.

For me, Pluto & neptune are taboos but Uranus is my love. :

Judy_AzVirgo said:

Your other descriptions, yes... often 'taboo' or scoffed at these days, unfortunately. I recently read an article that suggested that people who commune with God are schizophrenic. (!)

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That's exactly my thought when I came into this forum & read people's stories versus being a psychiatry student. I realised that if I take a stand as a professional psychiatrist, I'd probably un-'label' most of them. Neptune is sweet seduction & very pure in it's spirituality obsession.
I feel like a REAL medium between the material world vs Spiritual world & luckily my Mars Q Neptune really help with the cultivation of my spiritual needs in this physical world that I've always struggled to get along with.
I'd rather lose the physical body & become a spirit. Materialisation is so impure & rock-like!

Blackempress said:

I'd rather lose the physical body & become a spirit. Materialisation is so impure & rock-like!

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Spoken (well.... written) like a true Air person.

vlsmercury7 said:

The planet I find hardest to deal with is Mars. I don't connect so well with its energy in 29 degrees Aquarius at the end of the 5th house. I find its energy fluctuates and is inconsistent. Sometimes I feel like I've 'lost' my Mars! Unlike Saturn, which I've felt all my life, sticking his grandfatherly nose in (with all due respect to Grandfather Time, of course), my Mars is lost somewhere in the ether.

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I know a woman whose Sun is at 29 Aquarius, and I'm recalling that, starting in October 2010, there were four months of full moons plus an eclipse in the 29th degree of signs... 29 Aries/October; 29 Taurus/November; eclipse @ 29 Gemini/December; 29 Cancer/January; 29 Leo/February. The March full moon was at 28 Virgo.

I'm wondering if you had any difficult experiences with your Mars at these times? Especially the November and February moons, square and opposite your Mars.

Just curious.

Judy_AzVirgo said:

Well, that's what Neptune does for a living, yes? Loosens, unglues, and so on. I think it is hard for Plutonian type people to deal with this, because of control issues. Maybe as you get older you'll have more positive experiences of letting go.

Pluto dominates my chart, and Neptune is in my 12th house. I had a hard time with Neptune early on -- a lot of fear of the intuitive/psychic part, mind- altering substances, the floating feeling of being unmoored -- but with Pisces North Node, had to grow into it. For me, letting go was liberating, because I didn't have to be 'in charge' any more... a realization of higher powers at work.

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I relate to this also having a North node in Pisces, Neptune feels like a way out to me, I love to create although when younger I found it difficult to discipline myself, I hadn't learnt my Saturn lessons yet, I know Neptune is good for me when channeled in a creative and selfless, productive way, Mars sq Nep at 29 dgrs and Mars in Pisces, but she does creat chaos if I dont use her positively, I'm a bit of a dreamer and am attracted to dreamers and artists, Pisces Des. Moon opp Nep, Moon apex of Yod.
But since Pluto went over my Sun and Venus I learned lots about myself, I dont try and control as much now, especilly in intimate relationships, Sun conj venus Sq Pluto. I let go of people that were not good for me.
I clung to my South node Virgo somtimes, fiercely!
But have realised now my plan in life, is to have no plan. When that realisation hit home and the penny dropped, good things happened and Neptune winked and let me see her true beauty.

Judy_AzVirgo said:

Spoken (well.... written) like a true Air person.

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I thought it was the NEPTUNE that wanted to dissolve the physical.

Judy_AzVirgo said:

I know a woman whose Sun is at 29 Aquarius, and I'm recalling that, starting in October 2010, there were four months of full moons plus an eclipse in the 29th degree of signs... 29 Aries/October; 29 Taurus/November; eclipse @ 29 Gemini/December; 29 Cancer/January; 29 Leo/February. The March full moon was at 28 Virgo.

I'm wondering if you had any difficult experiences with your Mars at these times? Especially the November and February moons, square and opposite your Mars.

Just curious.

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Yes, I did now you mention it. My husband had an infection in his leg during the February Moon and it was a very tense few months for us, as it took a long time for the leg to heal (he's a diabetic). It did cause a lot of worry and I had to cancel a lot of free time to help look after him. There were further difficulties during the March full moon, Aries, Taurus and Cancer moons. Things started getting better at the beginning of this year. My husband still has some residual numbness in the leg, but otherwise can walk normally again. It strengthened our marriage, although there were times when we argued due to sheer frustration (we are normally very harmonious and rarely argue) but we came out the other side stronger and wiser.

Thank goodness he's healing, and didn't lose the leg! And that things can get back to normal for both of you.

Love the topic. I have Neptune prominently placed in my chart and love it so however much it evades me.