Adultery

How taboo!
I was ready to log off and I saw AOL had a message, "Would you date a Married Man?"

I know more women that have cheated on their spouses than men.

I was recently asked by a doctor for a date. He said he and his wife don't communicate and she doesn't mind if he dates (right). I always wondered what someone would say to lure another in. I told him he does need a date, but it needs to be with a therapist. He had come in several times more to see me.... I'm cold to him (venus conjunct saturn used at it's best).

Why do people cheat? It must be because the marriage has become stale, delusion is showing that another person will be more satisfying. I know we all have lustrous thoughts (I've had my share when married).......

What aspects (or transits?) in a chart would should adultery? Venus conjunct.... maybe any outer planet could probably be justified.....
tb

well, i think a lot of women consider the husband one of their children when it comes to care taking and responsibilities and i think that this wares very thin on a woman til she's screaming for an adult/adult connection.
i gotta tell ya, i do not think the idea of multible marriages is so bad, as long as neither sex is excluded from this allowance! however, ironically, chances are the women would still say no to multiple spouses, but it would be very handy to have at call the diversity of talents amongst the men in one's life. ex, one to take care of the cars/an outdoorsy type, one to bring in the bacon/be handy with home maintenance, the other to have extra time to reprogram some of the disfunction from his childhood so that he is more of fun and joy to live with.
whatever ya do, make sure whoever you hook up with is not cheap.
this is not to say, drain his wallet, just make sure he has generosity in the scope of his traits.
2rainbows

2rainbows said:

well, i think a lot of women consider the husband one of their children when it comes to care taking and responsibilities and i think that this wares very thin on a woman til she's screaming for an adult/adult connection.
i gotta tell ya, i do not think the idea of multible marriages is so bad, as long as neither sex is excluded from this allowance! however, ironically, chances are the women would still say no to multiple spouses, but it would be very handy to have at call the diversity of talents amongst the men in one's life. ex, one to take care of the cars/an outdoorsy type, one to bring in the bacon/be handy with home maintenance, the other to have extra time to reprogram some of the disfunction from his childhood so that he is more of fun and joy to live with.
whatever ya do, make sure whoever you hook up with is not cheap.
this is not to say, drain his wallet, just make sure he has generosity in the scope of his traits.
2rainbows

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LOL, I had to do a double take to be sure that it wasn't me that posted this.

I am crunched for time, will post to this thread again later.

TK

all signs cheat...
But i guess someone with lots of fire influence helps the cheating factor...

and as an answer if i would date a married/ taken woman
Nope
I wouldn't want it that my wife/ girl friend would mess around cause it would hurt me
So I think it's only fair that i wouldn't date someone elses girl/ woman
I'm principal when it comes to steady relations (Venus in Taurus)
But now I'm single, I just live... enjoy the moment

How about Uranus afflicting the 7th house?

I've read somewhere that adulterous shenanigans are shown by Uranus's afflictions to the Moon in a man's chart and to the Sun in a woman's.

Always a good thing to have the old man's birth details...you know, just in case.

Well, in order to find an astrological explanation of why people cheat, I think we should first define the reasons of cheating.

There is, of course, the old "we don't communicate/love each other anymore". But that's more of a line than a reason. Here are some reasons why I think people may consider cheating.

1. They've been by their spouse and want to hurt them back (water signs?).
2. They're bored of being with one person (mutable signs spring to mind here).
3. They appreciate their current relationship in terms of security, but since it lacks the fun, they look for it elsewhere (there are your fire signs, Belgianmoonguy, but earth signs could do it to in search for pleasure).
4. Having a tendency to feel comfortable with certain types but getting attracted to completely different types (Moon opposite Mars, and arguably Moon opposite Venus in men's charts).
5. Being really in the process of separation and can't wait to ... well... rebound (Does that sound Aries to you?).

Just a few thoughts. What do you think?

Sorehearted,
Pretty good examples..... agree with all.

I guess as someone said, all signs cheat. You can even justify why someone with Venus conj saturn would cheat.

I have known lots of people that have cheated. I think there must be a lack of emotional responsibility that must be indicated in a chart (moon/saturn??). I think Uranus gets a bad rap but have known people with venus/uranus aspects that can't feel settled. However much Uranus is flighty, it is also faithful.

Ultimately, is this a committment question..... committment to your word? ideals? faith?

I think adultery would accumulate alot of negative karma. Treachery and deception are involved (Neptune!). Forgiveness on the part of the unknowing person (possible payback?)

So much goes into the thought of adultery. Thanks for sharing. TB

although i agree with Uranus, i guess Neptune can be more an indicator of cheating and promiscuity then Uranus...

May be a bad aspect between Venus/ Mars and Neptune...

And why someone with a Venus/ Saturn would cheat...
They limit (Saturn) their affections (Venus)... They can be cold and uncaring in the affectionate department, don't allow themselves to be attached to someone... So if you aren't emotionally attached, then it isn't even cheating if you are involved with someone else (in their own opinion)...
Hope I make sense
Owner of a Sun Neptune opposition (Neptune rules my DC) and Venus Saturn opposition...

How about air signs? They are changeable, for instance a bad Venus in Gemini would make one want to stray. IMO, The cheater is looking for something to fill a void in their relationship, it may be emotional, intellectual, or sexual. Often times people grow apart over the years and go in different directions. If 2 people aren't compatible they can bring out the worst in eachother, there is no understanding. I don't know if I made sense, I have'nt had my coffee yet.

Hmm
People i know who have cheated or broke off a relation to be with someone else

Case 1...
3 planets in Libra (Sun/ Moon Libra), 3 in Scorpio
All those planets placed in her 5th house...
Now for two yrs almost happy together with an 11 year older Scorpio Sun/ Rising (she herself has Mercury conjunct Venus conjunct Pluto in Scorpio... Pluto is her sole dispositor) guy
Her Rising is 7°40' Cancer... Neptune on 5°33' Cap on the DC squaring Mars (8°23' Libra) who is placed exactly on her 5th Placidian house cusp

Case 2...
Serial Cheater...
Sun conjunct Mercury (ruler house 5) in Gemini opposed to Neptune Sag...
Neptune squares the Moon, ruler of his 7th house...

Case 3
Serial Cheater
Venus conjunct Cheiron in begin Gemini quincunx Neptune in 12 in Capricorn
His Venus Sun conjunction opposes Uranus in Sag and he has a Moon in Aries opposed to Pluto in 9 on 29° Libra
Also the ruler of his 7th house (Moon) is in 3... A indicator for divorce... (as 3 is a mutable air house... very fickle)

Case 4
Venus conjunct Mars in Aries quincunx Pluto in Scorpio and square Neptune in 8 in Capricorn. Her love life is full of deception, but sometimes it isn't clear who deceives and who is deceived (neptune at its best, i guess)
Mutable sign on the DC, ruler of that sign squares Moon in Libra...
Uranus in 7...

Case 5
Broke off a relation with someone else after she had an affair on holday...
Venus Rising in Libra, squaring her natal Mars/ Neptune conjunction in Capricon
Also Sag Moon conjunct Saturn...

Case 6...
Cheated sometimes when younger... But wasn't really emotional involved in his relations, which give him a free ride for cheating...
Sun opposed to Neptune, Venus opposed to Saturn and quincunxed Uranus...

I won't give Birth Data here of these people...

And also... stars direct but don't oblige... I mean, one has always a choice... It can always be a Capricorn who gives in to temptation, while a Sag or Gemini can be loyal as hell...

Looking at this question is difficult since we all apply our own morality.

Looking at the human existance there have been significant changes. Astrology, in it's infancy dealt with subjects that had a life span one third as long as we have today. Transportation was limited and communication was strictly face to face. Employment was generally family oriented and had little interaction with others.

As ages passed, the opportunity to meet others increased and the procreation urges remained the same. Remember, until fairly recently, people did not divorce. Many people have strayed from the "almighty church" imposed morality. We are daily bombarded by our television giving us numerous examples of decedant behavior and creating an atmosphere of this being the norm. The anonimity of the computer and chatrooms and such has allowed a breakdown of personal morals and invited personal flights of fancy and a place that our deepest darkest desires are not frowned on, but instead encouraged.

What I am getting at, is that we need to look at some questions and seriously consider the outer planets and generational aspects and the current norm of society. We also need to look at the individuals. At what moment does adultry happen? Thinking about it? Emotionally becoming involved? Monetary commitment? Pornography? Online sexual interactions? Physical interaction... how far? In the words of an Iconic representative of our current society...." I did not have sex with that woman" and " It depends on how you define sex".

Personally, I have a problem with "owning" someone. My partners have always been individuals that were capable of making their own decisions. I do/did not ever want to have the responsibility of forcing my moral standard upon another human. And G*D help anyone insisting I live up to their expectations of what I should or shouldn't be. At this point, I don't have to mention I have an Aquarius Venus with a Square to Neptune... obvious huh?


Sorehearted did a great synapsis of the probable causes, but I am reminding everyone to look at current society and take into account the blurry line of adultry.

Getting off my soap box now,

TK

First of all, I dont believe we are naturally monogamous and certainly not for a lifetime. We all need different things from different people. No one person can fulfil all these. More and more women are having lovers as they are working, are financially independent often, have their own vehicles and with the advent of the mobile or cell phone, emails etc, makes it all so much easier. The thrill of the forbidden is a turn on and marriage does become mundane and predictable most of the time. Also once the partner has lost their sex appeal, put on weight etc is another reason especially in midlife when the partner becomes more like the parent.

Aspects for cheating are Venus Neptune, Mars Neptune for secret affairs.
Venus Mars Uranus for curiosity and experimentation plus being easily bored.
Pluto Venus Mars for deep sexual magnetism and wanting to dominate.
Sun Venus Mars for ego gratification and having fun,proving oneself.
Jupiter Venus Mars for the opportunities and strong drives, faith that it will all go well.

So many variations.

Wonderful replies... There is no answer. Adultery was here from the beginning of time.

I think one thing for sure is that we all love that 'high' that comes with so-called love. To me, that 'high' is basically lust. It doesn't last, that's why there is adultery and divorce.

We want that 'oneness' tho. It can never happen, IMHO or just for a fleeting moment. Just gets us deeper in the hole and the search still on and the story continues........

The oneness can only come from one source... within (must be a neptunian morn!). tb

i'm unsure about the entire span of sexual evolution as i cannot remember my past lives. there cold be some outer planet twisting that is imbedded in our sex lives.
affairs absolutely cannot achieve oneness, wholeness we all ultimately seek, BUT they do add amazing flavor to life which is high among the reasons we choose physical life to begin with.
for me, affairs are not sexual drives, they are life drives. with sex actually botching up any long term proclivities in extra marital affairs.
many swingers absolutely insist they have greater communication in their marriage; they even say, happier marriages and i believe this is because two people have come together to allow/promote the playground that is our birth right.
2rainbows

You have people for who monogamy works
You have people for who it does not work... And in some periods, monogamy works better then in other periods for the same person.
Communication about sexual matters (and above everything, in fact) is very important in a relation...
I think there would be less cheating if people talked more and showed more intrest in their partner...
IMO everyone cheats and is cheated on at least one time in their lives...

I think you are right. Adultery doesnt have to spell the end of a marriage in any case necessarily. Some people can sustain an enduring relationship with one person, Taurus and Capricorn dominated people can do this often. I guess the answer is to never be found out if you do stray if you are the jealous type. Being in love is a chemical thing that nature provides to get us to breed. It doesnt last but changes over time into something deeper if we are lucky. My parents have been together for 61 years and I dont know if it love or co-dependency and security, perhaps that is love???? THey remain jealous of each other as well.

Claire

Here's to you and here's to me
and here's to love and laughter
I'ill be true as long as you
and not a moment after!!

The idea of one mate for life is inspiring and special, but how common is this when it does not exist as a morality or conventionality aspect in life?
i did a little research and think that uranus in libra could give rise to unconventional relationship ideas.
2rainbows

2rainbows said:

The idea of one mate for life is inspiring and special, but how common is this when it does not exist as a morality or conventionality aspect in life?
i did a little research and think that uranus in libra could give rise to unconventional relationship ideas.
2rainbows

Click to expand...

Some of the research I have done will be quite surprising, until you really get a grasp of Capricorn and Saturn. Many couples where the man has a Venus or Mars especially in Cap, you find a family friend or "uncle" living in the home. I first stumbled across this information in a book written by.... I believe the name was Green Wolf or Grey Wolf. I was able to find some examples and to the shock of some of my Cap in Venus or Mars friends asked them how they would feel about such a situation. Most admitted that it wasn't something they would seek, but not opposed to the idea.

TK

ok, guess i need to give clarification on the term unconventional.
my use of this term would be a relationship which is secure enough to offer each other a good deal of freedom. Perhaps the relationship between Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon could shed some light here.
2rainbows