Hi,
Thank you for posting a less crowded chart with just the planets.
The first thing that hit me is your Mars in Cancer, in aspect with both Moon and Saturn in Virgo. So, firstly, it could be that the close conjunction between Moon and Saturn and then with Mars in the play makes you a bit inhibited when it comes to your physical side and expressing your emotions (Moon) through getting physical (Mars). This gets a little more complicated through Mars (sexual desire) being in Cancer (its sign of Fall), where it cannot express itself the way it wants to (hot and fiery).
You also have Moon-Uranus, which means there could be something different/strange about sexual encounters. With Uranus in the 1st house, these could have to do with your childhood. You also have Pluto-Mars, which is often manipulative or forced sex, or it could also mean deep-seated fears about physical intimacies.
I am not so sure about your not wanting to be in a relationship. I think the issue lies more in the fact that you might have difficulty in expressing your feelings (Moon-Saturn). Your 7th house ruler is Venus which is in Leo, is conjunct Jupiter. I do think you will have a couple of long relationships (I don't mean flings).
Would you say you have a stable parental home? Also, I know you didn't ask this, but how is your career doing?
Thank for your reply, it was easy to follow all the aspects, descriptions, and examples.
Mars in Cancer, where do I start. lol! Is it a weird thing for a Virgo to say, "I am NOT a DOER?" Well, unless it's for others. I'm a THINKER through and through. I love ideas, concept, dreams, and contemplation. Explains the insomnia. lol! I will say that when I do follow-through it's beyond expectation, so I guess that's a plus. It takes great effort to get things done, I blame my LOVE of sleep and thought. Fun fact: Neptune in the 2nd house (I don't limit the house of values to money, especially since I hate the stuff) and Sun conjunct Saturn is what sold my skeptical mind on astrology (since I really don't understand the 10th house concentration in my chart). Sun and Saturn you can see very prominently in my personality, emotionally. Well, if your super close to me then you get the talkative, goofy, verbally affectionate (not big on touching), and softer person. Actually, I wouldn't describe myself as hard or cold, more so closed off. I just want a place where I can be naive and loving, so I make it a little harder for people to get there, I don't want to be on guard in my most intimate relationships, I want to be free from the restriction of WORRY, and second guessing myself. Which has been a chronic state for most of my life. Wow, I'm just writing away. Redirect.
The relationship question is a little complicated. I'll try to explain quick and easy. I have this thing, intuition I guess, but I've had it as far as my memories go back. When I was little I would have to feed the homeless person since I could physical feel their hunger. When people would cry, I would fill with sadness or completely overwhelmed by emotions. When people felt joy till they almost burst, I would laugh and feel expansive. There are many more explains. It's why I try to avoid weddings, holiday shopping, funerals, and concerts. Any large or overly emotion event I avoid like the plague. What I'm get at is that I didn't realize till I was almost a teenager that a lot of the feelings I was feeling weren't my own. When I finally got control over it, I realized that a lot of the things I was wanting were other people's hopes and dreams. I just realized that a relationship is not a must have or a must not have for me. Plus, the complication of needing to be attracted to a person on 4 different levels is cumbersome. Well, I was easy, but not so quick.
My parental home is great. My parents have been married since they were 17. They put each other first, which I'm super happy about. Can't have a sturdy house if the foundation is cracked. They give each other gifts WEEKLY, like who has the time for that. They text each other their lunches, EVERYDAY. They are each others best friend, and support each others journey. That all being said, when I was younger there were issues, but they were young. My Dad had a temper (not all the time, just in arguments) when I was younger (slamming doors and yelling during arguments). My Mom can be a little (a lot) defensive. What else can you expect from a Virgo/Scorpio pairing. They are a good example of a working relationship, minus doing projects together. lol!
My career is school at the moment. I went back to college since my first degree was getting me nowhere. It took me a long time to figure out what I was suppose to do since I happen to be good a lot of things (that sounds braggartish, I don't like that) Actually, my Mom signed me up for my first college, and came home with pamphlets on design school. Anywhosit, I'm going back to college for Human Development, specializing in how the mind acquires information. I know whatever I do next has to help the world as a whole, and I have to be my own boss (I'm not good with inapt management). I have a big problem with people who don't practice what they preach.
Sorry, for the marathon. Hopefully you made it this far. lol!
Thank-you again, I can't say it enough.
Be blessed,
Amber