Chiron in my ascenmdant conjunct south node; help!

Diane - you seem to think of the south and north node in the exact opposit emanner as I was used to intrpret them - I thought south node is that which we came into he world knowing.
Regadless - south node - Chiron speaks to me directly in that I've had to heal others in order to heal myself. For example - in my country there was a religious murder - the grand-grandson of Vincent van Gogh was murdered for his ati-Islamic talk - the countryreacted neurotically and iI knew I had to find a muslim youth to bring on national television, to relieve the high pressure kettle that was muslim / muslim fearing Holland.
To find the kid, to make the film and to get it on tv took a year. During this year I've transformed and gotten a lot more comfortable with my life and myself.

Regarding energetic healing; I can sense energies, can call on angels and Gods, can influence peoples aura's directly by just thinking of it, but I would like a tutor. There are lots of healers around here but none of them - no one that I know of - is willing to go in there with me - to the core of the Earth, to the paradigm that is about the crack, to the legions of forces that are so anxious to jump into battle with us that I feel them breathing in my neck. A warrior-shaman is what I needed all along but I haven't met anyone - which leads me to believe I'm here to discover it myself - through trial and error - to rediscover ancient laws and phrase them for our times.

I had a great night by the way - with Libra in mind I went to a wrap-part of the show I was working for - and it worked - I don't think I rubbed anyone the wrong way the etire night1

So - the healing I'm able to do lies, I think, in mass entertainment - not so much in the one on one sphere - when I'm with someone who tells me of a problem I'm always inclined ot seek an answer and usually come up with one evry quickly - I'm not always very effective at communicating these answers - I'm too straightfoward in my presentation for that - I've gravely insulted good friends just meanig to give them loving advice - not realizing that not everyone is so aware of his weaknesses as I am.
Film is my great passion. Our time asks for new myths.

Pa Chandelier said:

A warrior-shaman is what I needed all along but I haven't met anyone - which leads me to believe I'm here to discover it myself - through trial and error - to rediscover ancient laws and phrase them for our times.

Click to expand...

Pa Chandelier,

You said your Chiron (the Shaman) is in Aries (the Warrior) conjunct Asc and South Node? It sounds to me like YOU are the "warrior-shaman" that you've been looking for!

And, with a conjunction to your South Node, this I'd think would indicate that (through past lives) you've already mastered and integrated the Warrior Shamanic nature of Chiron. Now you just need to recognize "Him" as your deep inner self (it conjunct your Asc) and not necessarily outside of yourself (that whole Aries/Libra identity business) and/or in another 'teacher'.

Here's a bit from Barbara Hand Clow's book Chiron- Rainbow Bridge Between the Inner and Outer Planets 1994.

"CHIRON IN ARIES

When Chiron is in Aries, the search for identity predominates. Who am I? Why am I here? What do they all want of me? That level of questioning becomes Chirotic, or a life and death issue, and until there is a satisfactory answer, the native is restless. But an answer will come with time, because Chiron's natural form as a warrior initiate is very attuned to Mars......

"......This position causes quick action to breakthrough Saturn barriers and act idealistically with Uranus. But unless there are other factors in the chart which foster mysticism, these natives may not activate the subtlety of Chiron. The warrior energy is the most powerful manifestation for these natives. They need to be encouraged to systematically develope a discipline which will enable them to empower Chiron and get in touch with the potential power of the etheric plane. Good examples of such discipline are Carlos Castenada, Carl Jung, Jack Anderson, and Aleister Crowley. All four of these men have created great power in their disciplines and made great impact on their times. A deliberate development of initiate warrior power by these natives will cause Chiron to become a very great tool for bringing their greatest essence into being. Generally these natives are frustrated unless they are extrememly active, and an analysis of the house position of Chiron in Aries will reveal the area of life where they can initiate progress. Limitation will drive them crazy......."

Lapis -
the past few days I've been going through a rather violent physical change - too complex t go into right here but what you say is extremely interesting to me - that Libra buisines does work, but when you give the examples of Crowley, Castaneda and Jung (I don't know the other guy) you menion names of people whpo have been of profound influence to my experience of the world. Castaneda was the first one who brought me in contact with unseen, in many ways realer worlds. Jung has taught me the anima, in combination with Nietzsche and Crowley ahs literally transformed me with his book Little Essays Towards Truth. I still think this is the most ambitious and courageous piece of writin on any metaphysical subect. It deals with the Tree of Lifew, which has been my dicipline for a long time.
The quote you give suggests a dicipline to contact the powers that I have access to. I have long been testing and practicing varios diciplines - so far the tree of life has been the widest ranging, most powerful one.

Both Crowley and Castaneda used all kinds of 'substances' in their work - I have had transfrming experiences with mushrooms and I've only recently put an end to my marihuana use - which for me was a very powerful tool to contact the astral plane - with all the negative consequences attached to it as well. Now that I no longer have that I'm kind of floating in the real world - I've lost my compass so to speak - or not s much my compass as my anchor. I'm not as aware of the forces and in me - I need to iinvest more time to mobilize the energies. Maybe that's what needs to de done. When under iinfluence even from a couple of days back - it was easy for me to get the whole energy circuitry running in the directions I chose - now physical stuff is putting it's weight on the table. I'm finally recovering from an injury I suffered six years ago whcih twisted my Ischias nerve - as a result I'm now feeling the pain I should have si years ago. This is strange, but - well - I think it's opening up a new life path of activity on planes I've been dormant at. I hope.
But back to the dicipline - if I want to find my swing in life, I have to get deeper in... the trouble is I'm doing so many things at the same time that to get in deeper I'd have to drop some things - or raise my level of activity

By the way - since ten days I've been wearing a silver necklace with a Lapis stone. It's a very stong influence and I usually don't wear stones for more than two days - but intuitively I knew I wanted this lunar influence - as my solar side has bee tyrannisizing my passive me. First I balenced it with a golden necklace with a golten topaz which softened it, but now I'm, only wearing the silver. I think the physical changes are a result of this.

"At a railroad crossing, an automobile is wrecked by a train."

this is what the Sabian Oracle had to say about my back.
Hmmm.