I suppose the Sign would make alot of difference too especially heightening it in water. Is there alot of glamorization of a person & ending up being disappointed with the 'real person'?
As a Pisces Asc I do tend to do that & always see the 'higher' side of a person which on one-hand makes me brilliant at improving someone's self-image but I end up being disappointed with not having that person 'as perfect' as I thought.
Can you relate to this?
Well, I think by the way I grew up/what my chart is composed of, I was always a bit insecure (cancer asc). So, I think I tended to put people on pedestals that I really admired and was enamoured with. Also, I think I looked for answers from others in my search for meaning. Often times I would sacrifice myself somehow for these people possibly in order for them to like me or for me to try and belong.
My Nep Ven conjunction lies in Sag. I think that explains a few things... I think if you look at my chart that, this is the focal point of my whole chart as I have a "structure" that points to this position. However, I don't want to discuss this here and derail the thread...
So, one thing, I think ultimately people couldn't give me what I was looking for so it is inevitable that I be dissapointed since I had such high expectations/fantasies/desires. It makes sense that all would eventually fail...
It's interesting that I'm writing about this now, as it seems I'm really evalutating all my relationships at the moment and trying to figure out how healthy they really are for me. Seems I've been disillusioned for most of my life in that respect. Indeed, I'd say most of my relationships have been disappointing...
I think learning about astrology and, especially this position, has enabled me to see deeper into situations and life in general. I suppose, an awakening of sorts. I'm finding that my circle of "friends" is quickly growing smaller as I'm really contemplating the reality of them versus my idealization of them. I feel it's ultimately a good thing.
I've always had a very deep and active mind (merc in scorp) so learning about this particular planetary situation has really helped elvate my existence. I think a lot of my nature has, unfortunately, been hidden from me due to my Moon in the 12th as well as having many quincunx aspects(yods) which I've heard lends to compartmentalization.