Are you attracted to the element/s that you lack?

craft94

Well-known member
Definitely. I made a post on this a few months ago. I only have one planet in a fire sign (mars) and I tend to be most attracted to people who are dominantly Fire. And not only that but I love spicy foods and I'm cold all the time. It's true that I have a Sagittarius Descendant (I tend to be most attracted to people with Sag placements) and that may play a role but I think my lack of fire plays a role as well. We're social animals I guess and we need people in our life whose qualities we lack. Let's say you're a daydreamy Pisces Ascendant for instance, you might need Virgos in your life to help ground you, and take care of the practical work.
 
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muchacho

Well-known member
I found this article: http://sasstrology.com/2010/08/are-you-attracted-to-the-element-you-lack.html
Basically the author is saying that you are strongly attracted to whatever element that is lacking in your chart. Do you think there is truth in it?

I have only one planet in Earth (saturn in Virgo). And the guy I like has a lot of earth (Sun and Neptune in Capricorn, moon in Taurus).

What do you think?
There's never anything lacking in a chart. We've all got 12 Houses and 12 signs in our charts.
 

kimbermoon

Well-known member
I do think there is substance to this concept: I too only have one earth planet
[Mars/Capricorn], and also with a heavy load of water. My significant relationships have all been with earthy men, although the Virgos failed me, being in opposition to my moon. I have now been together for 27 years with my Capricorn man, although he does have his quirks that can be irksome at times.
Getting together with water types just left us both exhausted.
I do think the elemental interchange is definitely important, although numerous other factors also fit into the puzzle of our 'hooking-ups'.
 

dowhanawi

Well-known member
I think so: I have no planets in earth signs. I feel very ungrounded, I've known that always. My chart is (tied) cardinal-mutable fire, although I am gem sun and a good bit of water & air.

I'm drawn to earth people and Sagittarian's. Sag's keep me having fun, (generally) & I tend to be attracted to them. But Taurus and Cap people make me feel good inside. (Virgo's not at all). I'd probably be happier if I dated Tarus people (but with good balance elsewhere lol).

And there is reference to this in synestry. Our 8th house (other peoples money, long committed relationships, sex) is what we need from others. So if you are say cap in 8, then some one with sun, ac, Venus in cap or heavy cap sign is a good match cuz they have what you need (other people's money).
 

Erulastiel14

Well-known member
I think there's some truth to this.

Most of my planets are in Scorpio-Sag so I've got mostly Fire and Water in my chart. One Air planet but no planet in Earth. I'm drawn to and tend to draw Capricorns in my romantic partners. The Earth complements my Water, and it's a bonus if they've got Fire in Leo or Aries, preferably Aries.

I can't deal with someone with an abundance of water. One planet in Scorpio helps so we understand each other but no Pisces.

My dream partner is a man either a Capricorn with a Scorpio Moon, or Scorpio with Capricorn Moon, & Aries Ascendant. Leo squares my Sun and Pisces squares my Asc, Moon and Venus.
 

dowhanawi

Well-known member
My dream partner is a man either a Capricorn with a Scorpio Moon, or Scorpio with Capricorn Moon, & Aries Ascendant. Leo squares my Sun and Pisces squares my Asc, Moon and Venus.

If only people walked around with their charts on them so we could decide if we wanted to strike up a convo or not lol.
 

comdoc

Well-known member
All my planets are in Fire and Air signs. My intuition tells me that most compatible lifemates have strong Earth placements: 3 or more planets in Earth signs. Taurus is my favorite.

I found this article: http://sasstrology.com/2010/08/are-you-attracted-to-the-element-you-lack.html
Basically the author is saying that you are strongly attracted to whatever element that is lacking in your chart. Do you think there is truth in it?

I have only one planet in Earth (saturn in Virgo). And the guy I like has a lot of earth (Sun and Neptune in Capricorn, moon in Taurus).

What do you think?
 

dowhanawi

Well-known member
All my planets are in Fire and Air signs. My intuition tells me that most compatible lifemates have strong Earth placements: 3 or more planets in Earth signs. Taurus is my favorite.

Taurus is my favorite too. I think fire people just can't handle the opinions and judgements of Virgo ("hey Virgo, get off my shinning flame") lol
 

Praymantus

Active member
Cool thread!
So I have a fiery chart (All of my inner planets + Rising are fire) with a good amount of earth signs and only have one water and air planet.

Water signs: I think I attract water than vice versa.
I am wary of Cancer sun males and had a disastrous exp with one who had strong Cancer in his chart.
Weirdly enough a lot of the men in my life lately have Cancer Mars (could be the mutual reception to my Aries moon). I think I enjoy water signs better in other planets than the Sun. I don't have anything bad or good to say about Scorpio energy. Pisces is sometimes intriguing. I find for the most part that water signs find me to be insensitive and I find their energy disconcerting. I do have planets in the water houses, but I read somewhere on the web that the signs on your 4th, 8th, and 12th houses are signs that get under your skin easily/not the best in the world to get along with.

Air signs: I find myself readily noticing Gemini (I'm a sag rising) and slightly less often Aquarius sun men. I really enjoy Air suns and wish I could run into them more often. I like air moons too, but maybe not to date since they are a bit more "cool" than I tend to be. Never say never, though. Neither here nor there on Libra, it's not a sign that pops up in my life often enough to comment on.
 
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comdoc

Well-known member
:innocent: I also have a fiery chart, Sun + Mercury in Aries, stellium in Leo, Sag Jupiter. Venus in Gemini. What do you feel about a Gemini/Cancer Moon?

Cool thread!
So I have a fiery chart (All of my inner planets + Rising are fire) with a good amount of earth signs and only have one water and air planet.

Water signs: I think I attract water than vice versa.
I am wary of Cancer sun males and had a disastrous exp with one who had strong Cancer in his chart.
Weirdly enough a lot of the men in my life lately have Cancer Mars (could be the mutual reception to my Aries moon). I think I enjoy water signs better in other planets than the Sun. I don't have anything bad or good to say about Scorpio energy. Pisces is sometimes intriguing. I find for the most part that water signs find me to be insensitive and I find their energy disconcerting. I do have planets in the water houses, but I read somewhere on the web that the signs on your 4th, 8th, and 12th houses are signs that get under your skin easily/not the best in the world to get along with.

Air signs: I find myself readily noticing Gemini (I'm a sag rising) and slightly less often Aquarius sun men. On the other hand, I don't have too many positive experiences with women with these sun signs due to personality conflicts. I really enjoy Air suns and wish I could run into them more often regardless. I like air moons too, but maybe not to date since they are a bit more "cool" than I tend to be. Never say never, though. Neither here nor there on Libra, it's not a sign that pops up in my life often enough to comment on.
 

Praymantus

Active member
Hey there fellow fire person!
I believe I know someone with those placements (could be Leo moon though depending). Have you ever known any Cancer moon guys? I know several Cancer moons but they are all ladies. I think I'd get along with a water moon though. At the moment I'm actually seeing an Aquarius.
 
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dowhanawi

Well-known member
Cool thread!
So I have a fiery chart (All of my inner planets + Rising are fire) with a good amount of earth signs and only have one water and air planet.

Water signs: I think I attract water than vice versa.
I am wary of Cancer sun males and had a disastrous exp with one who had strong Cancer in his chart.
Weirdly enough a lot of the men in my life lately have Cancer Mars (could be the mutual reception to my Aries moon). I think I enjoy water signs better in other planets than the Sun. I don't have anything bad or good to say about Scorpio energy. Pisces is sometimes intriguing. I find for the most part that water signs find me to be insensitive and I find their energy disconcerting. I do have planets in the water houses, but I read somewhere on the web that the signs on your 4th, 8th, and 12th houses are signs that get under your skin easily/not the best in the world to get along with.

Air signs: I find myself readily noticing Gemini (I'm a sag rising) and slightly less often Aquarius sun men. I really enjoy Air suns and wish I could run into them more often. I like air moons too, but maybe not to date since they are a bit more "cool" than I tend to be. Never say never, though. Neither here nor there on Libra, it's not a sign that pops up in my life often enough to comment on.

That gem-sag odd draw, just can't live without loving and hating each other lol. Maybe you need a gem who has something else equal or stronger then the gem sun?
 

Cassiopeia

Well-known member
I have all planets Fire and Earth (only Water Saturn).
I lack Water and Air.

But I am strongly attracted to all Fire signs (I have Leo Mars&Venus, Aries rules my 7th & 8th H, I guess these placements could explain the attraction).

I experience intense attraction with Scorpios.
No other Water Sign and no attraction to Air Signs so far.

I have excellent relationships with all Earth Signs. I can't even say I'm attracted to Earth, we simply make a pair every time we meet :)
 
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Starry~*

Active member
I'm a lilbra sun moon and mars but i have alot of water (Scorp Stellium in 1H) and some fire in my chart. I completely lack earth. All 3 men in my life who were in a serious relationship with me all had a strong earth presence in their chart. One pattern I've noticed was that they all have a Cap venus. Two of these men also have a cap mars, one of them had a scorpio mars. Also, these men all have Sagittarius related aspects in their chart. One man (longest relationship) is a Sag Sun. One man had a sag venus as a scorp sun, and one (also a scorp sun) has a pretty dominant Sag MC/Merc/Uranus(his Chart ruler). It's an interesting idea about attracted to what you lack...and I don't doubt that there is some truth to it.
 

Flapjacks

Well-known member
I don't significantly lack any element in my chart, but I feel attracted to Aries and Libra influenced people even though they tend to bring tears and betrayal (Libra Moons and Venus' are my destroyers) and exhaustion and frustration (Aries). I think it has to do with my NN in Aries and my Sun/moon midpoint in Libra.

Otherwise, I like people like myself. Lots of Earth, strong Mercury and Saturn, some issue with Pluto like a square or opposition. :biggrin:
 
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siltsunrise

New member
I believe it. I just have 1 outer planet in water, yet have a statistically overwhelming amount of watery girlfriends in my past, especially scorpios. Including the latest and probably last. ;)
I am a gemini/sag moon and rising.
 

oinas

Active member
I lack earth signs mostly from my chart but Capricorn is in my 7th house with Neptune and Uranus in so I believe that I feel attracted to earth signs a lot and earth signs feel attracted by me. Everything else in my chart is mostly fire and air.
However, I also feel that too much of earth is just too much of seriousness for me to handle so I necessarily wouldn't go after people with strong earth representations.
 

thelivingsky

Well-known member
The tendency to seek the eopposite element tends to diminish as one becomes more mature/older and more conscious of the need to develop what we lack. If a person makes a conscious effort to cultivate the missing element, as often happens as we age, this tendency is not as great.

Those who ascribe to Carl Jung's theories believe that the human psyche seeks wholeness and this is why we are attracted to our opposite. Some astrologers disagree and feel we should accept ourselves fully, thus having a deficiency in one element is the way we were meant to be. The Jungian's claim we project the weak or absent element and part of maturation is to take back our projections. Some charts however are quite balanced and have less of this dynamic happening.

It would be interesting to hear from some older astrologers who may have seen cases of those who just fully lived out their very dominant element and it led to a really good or really poor outcome.

Barb at thelivingsky.wordpress.com
 
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