saturnsayshi
Well-known member
didn't end up being a productive line of inquiry, thanks anyway.
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Platonic love/friendship despite "sexual" synastry aspects
- Thread starter saturnsayshi
- Start date
Kitchy
Banned
Hello -
Moon-Mars in synastry is best when woman is moon and man is mars. There is an excitement, either way - the baby-making creation kind, but not an indicator alone of something more bonding. Those energies are tough in strictly platonic friendships.
The can ultimately lead to very hard feelings or actions if things go bad with them. When they are good together - the moony goddess and the protective god find mutual joy with each other - but it's a fine line.
Is there a question in your thread that I'm missing? I am only inferring what I think you might be inquiring about - "will this go somewhere? should I leave it alone? Does hes wants me? Can we have a secret affair?"
Almost all of the planets of both charts are clustered btwn houses 11th & 5th of both charts. Mercury Saturn relationships are teacher-pupil usually.
Moon-Mars in synastry is best when woman is moon and man is mars. There is an excitement, either way - the baby-making creation kind, but not an indicator alone of something more bonding. Those energies are tough in strictly platonic friendships.
The can ultimately lead to very hard feelings or actions if things go bad with them. When they are good together - the moony goddess and the protective god find mutual joy with each other - but it's a fine line.
Is there a question in your thread that I'm missing? I am only inferring what I think you might be inquiring about - "will this go somewhere? should I leave it alone? Does hes wants me? Can we have a secret affair?"
Almost all of the planets of both charts are clustered btwn houses 11th & 5th of both charts. Mercury Saturn relationships are teacher-pupil usually.
saturnsayshi
Well-known member
Hey Kitchy,
Thanks for your response! I don't have a direct question, mostly wanted to put this out there and see if anyone else had similar friendships they could relate to, anything that had to STAY platonic for one reason for another. I'm not asking if it will go anywhere, as I've already openly discussed that with him. We're attracted to each other, we're single, we like each other, and we are NOT pursuing it. (Distance + possible mismatched sex drives even if we did date = will ruin our friendship.)
The gender-swap on the Moon/Mars contact has never seemed like a big deal: I'm not a damsel in distress who wants to be activated/impreganted/saved by Mars. Definitely can see the teacher/student dynamic: I always feel like he is teaching me something. But for an airy mercury/moon type like me (and venus in 3rd house), that's pretty much the way to my heart.
And as I mentioned, I don't have his birth time, so house overlays aren't going to be accurate.
craft94
Well-known member
Astrologers are obsessed with sex. People usually use synastry to check up on romantic relationships, but these aspects CAN be interpreted in other ways.
My Mars is exactly conjunct my FATHER's Sun. Not a sexual relationship. He didn't sexually abuse me (I feel guilty even saying it) and there is no Freudian sh*t going on. We do fight a lot though and our fights can get really intense. I love him, he's my father and his intentions are good but it literally seems like every conversation we have ends up turning into a fight and there's no one I fight with as much as I fight with him. He brings out the Mars (God of War, not sex) in me.
I had that aspect with an ex-friend too. Again, I was the Mars person. Their moon was also conjunct my Mars. NO sexual attraction, at least not on my part. But LOTS of arguing and not the type where there's secret sexual tension. I think that would be more Mars-Venus than Mars-Sun anyway.
I had a Mars-Moon aspect in a composite with an old best friend too, a different friend. Mars was in the 3rd house and Moon was in the 9th house. Even though I had more in common with her philosophically and politically than anybody else I'd ever been friends with, it seemed like we focused more on minor differences than our similarities. I didn't mind too much, because I liked debating, but I liked to play Devils advocate a lot, be the contrarian, and it would stress her out. Our debates would often escalate into full blown nit-picky arguments, mostly about 9th house issues. Again, there was no sexual attraction involved.
Pluto (another sexual planet) can indicate control issues, fear, manipulation, possession and power struggles. These aren't necessarily sexual issues. Many people report having tight Pluto aspects with their bosses or other people in positions of power. It can also indicate competition and jealousy, rivalry of some sort. Pluto is about cold dark truths, intimacy and intensity, but these things can be present in a non-physical relationship.
I see Venus as the most romantic/sexual planet of them all but even Venus can symbolize other things like art, beauty, money, pleasure. I've noticed Venus can play a big part in the psyche of an individual and show their approach to all sorts of relationships, both romantic and platonic. It may just mean that you please one another, you get pleasure out of being in one another's company.
Hard aspects between Sun and Venus can leave you feeling resentful and used. I can think of two people I have this aspect with (both squares but in opposing signs) and in both relationships (neither of which were sexual), I felt like I would bend over backwards to make them happy only to receive nothing in return. Their Plutos were both conjunct my Venus and squaring their own Suns but I didn't feel the slightest amount of attraction towards either of them. Manipulation? Yes.
I know this really isn't what you asked for exactly. I just wanted to point out that these aspects don't necessarily point to a physical relationship. If you google these aspects, most interpretations will be sexual, because most of these websites are focused solely on romantic synastry. The same goes for a website like CafeAstrology, where you can your chart done and "analyzed".
My Mars is exactly conjunct my FATHER's Sun. Not a sexual relationship. He didn't sexually abuse me (I feel guilty even saying it) and there is no Freudian sh*t going on. We do fight a lot though and our fights can get really intense. I love him, he's my father and his intentions are good but it literally seems like every conversation we have ends up turning into a fight and there's no one I fight with as much as I fight with him. He brings out the Mars (God of War, not sex) in me.
I had that aspect with an ex-friend too. Again, I was the Mars person. Their moon was also conjunct my Mars. NO sexual attraction, at least not on my part. But LOTS of arguing and not the type where there's secret sexual tension. I think that would be more Mars-Venus than Mars-Sun anyway.
I had a Mars-Moon aspect in a composite with an old best friend too, a different friend. Mars was in the 3rd house and Moon was in the 9th house. Even though I had more in common with her philosophically and politically than anybody else I'd ever been friends with, it seemed like we focused more on minor differences than our similarities. I didn't mind too much, because I liked debating, but I liked to play Devils advocate a lot, be the contrarian, and it would stress her out. Our debates would often escalate into full blown nit-picky arguments, mostly about 9th house issues. Again, there was no sexual attraction involved.
Pluto (another sexual planet) can indicate control issues, fear, manipulation, possession and power struggles. These aren't necessarily sexual issues. Many people report having tight Pluto aspects with their bosses or other people in positions of power. It can also indicate competition and jealousy, rivalry of some sort. Pluto is about cold dark truths, intimacy and intensity, but these things can be present in a non-physical relationship.
I see Venus as the most romantic/sexual planet of them all but even Venus can symbolize other things like art, beauty, money, pleasure. I've noticed Venus can play a big part in the psyche of an individual and show their approach to all sorts of relationships, both romantic and platonic. It may just mean that you please one another, you get pleasure out of being in one another's company.
Hard aspects between Sun and Venus can leave you feeling resentful and used. I can think of two people I have this aspect with (both squares but in opposing signs) and in both relationships (neither of which were sexual), I felt like I would bend over backwards to make them happy only to receive nothing in return. Their Plutos were both conjunct my Venus and squaring their own Suns but I didn't feel the slightest amount of attraction towards either of them. Manipulation? Yes.
I know this really isn't what you asked for exactly. I just wanted to point out that these aspects don't necessarily point to a physical relationship. If you google these aspects, most interpretations will be sexual, because most of these websites are focused solely on romantic synastry. The same goes for a website like CafeAstrology, where you can your chart done and "analyzed".
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saturnsayshi
Well-known member
What you wrote was GREAT! And so helpful to have another perspective that's not so sex-focused. Our Moon/Mars does come out as bickering. We have enough basic friendship compatibility that it's not damaging, but I (Mars) definitely start sh*t with him -- sometimes without meaning to. We curse at each other and make no attempt to hide when the other says something we don't like/agree with/etc. But it also always blows over quickly and without resentment -- unusual for me because I'm good at holding grudges (natal Moon square Pluto). There's no Moon/Mars impregnation happening here: we're just putting everything on the table even if it pisses the other off.
It's a dynamic I really cherish because it doesn't allow hurts to fester or fights to become truly acrimonious.
But like you said, all the online descriptions seem to think it's about jumping into bed together. Nope.
Kitchy
Banned
I guess I'm just lost on the purpose of the post. If there is no relationship desire on your part for this other person - other than what you already have - a platonic teacher-pupil relationship - what's with all the long flowery descriptions of how awesome he is to you and for you and how much sexual energy there is between you?
Seems like you have a friend that turns you on and teaches you something new and why not leave it at that until you actively admit
that you hope for more. "Does anyone else have experience with platonic relationships with people you might prefer to date under other circumstances?"
In my thought process - there is more that you want but won't admit. Sometimes the Mars in Aries direct route is best - "Let's get it on" or leave it alone as is. "asexual' is not usually productive mate.
Lot's of women have attractions to gay men - they love them for all the same reasons you love this guy - they get the good from a male friend who inspires them or protects them or teaches them something and sex will always be out of the question. So, yes- there are lots of other people have probably had these kinds of relationships. I have! My gay friend from college - the man of my dreams - he liked boys - cut and dry and hence no wondering needed as to why he never wanted to take it beyond friendship. It's smart to treat 'asexual' men the same. But truthfully - 'asexual' is a lie - unless your a frog. It's usually just a nice way to deflect conventional sexual relationships because there's some other issue going on.
The only exception, even in moderately relative terms - is the menopausal female.
Truly - no man under the age of 70 is asexual unless they have had their nuts cut or can no longer arise. Or, they are one of those sexual 'others' that have to be a man dressed like a woman in order to have sex with a man - etc., eg. Maybe he wants to become a Priest? Too many scenarios in this friendship that make me think - you might be having an issue with not getting that Mars need of yours filled.
Take what I say as you will - but I have to ask - what's the point of wondering if others have strong attractions to opposite sex who is not strongly attracted to them? There is nothing new under the sun in that area.
Seems like you have a friend that turns you on and teaches you something new and why not leave it at that until you actively admit
that you hope for more. "Does anyone else have experience with platonic relationships with people you might prefer to date under other circumstances?"
In my thought process - there is more that you want but won't admit. Sometimes the Mars in Aries direct route is best - "Let's get it on" or leave it alone as is. "asexual' is not usually productive mate.
Lot's of women have attractions to gay men - they love them for all the same reasons you love this guy - they get the good from a male friend who inspires them or protects them or teaches them something and sex will always be out of the question. So, yes- there are lots of other people have probably had these kinds of relationships. I have! My gay friend from college - the man of my dreams - he liked boys - cut and dry and hence no wondering needed as to why he never wanted to take it beyond friendship. It's smart to treat 'asexual' men the same. But truthfully - 'asexual' is a lie - unless your a frog. It's usually just a nice way to deflect conventional sexual relationships because there's some other issue going on.
The only exception, even in moderately relative terms - is the menopausal female.
Truly - no man under the age of 70 is asexual unless they have had their nuts cut or can no longer arise. Or, they are one of those sexual 'others' that have to be a man dressed like a woman in order to have sex with a man - etc., eg. Maybe he wants to become a Priest? Too many scenarios in this friendship that make me think - you might be having an issue with not getting that Mars need of yours filled.
Take what I say as you will - but I have to ask - what's the point of wondering if others have strong attractions to opposite sex who is not strongly attracted to them? There is nothing new under the sun in that area.
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saturnsayshi
Well-known member
I don't want anyone to solve my personal life, thanks. I was asking because it's an astrology forum and some other people might find it helpful to see what astro markers turn up in relationships that stay platonic or have examples of their own. As craft94 said, it's really hard to find non-sexual interpretations of many synastry aspects.
I would also recommend you research the demisexuality and gray asexuality spectrum, as neither label necessarily mean that someone lacks the ability for attraction or the desire for partnership.
Kitchy
Banned
I don't want anyone to solve my personal life, thanks. I was asking because it's an astrology forum and some other people might find it helpful to see what astro markers turn up in relationships that stay platonic or have examples of their own. As craft94 said, it's really hard to find non-sexual interpretations of many synastry aspects.
I would also recommend you research the demisexuality and gray asexuality spectrum, as neither label necessarily mean that someone lacks the ability for attraction or the desire for partnership.
But this is a sexual attraction question - you've said it yourself for yourself.
I have a degree in Social Work and deviant behaviors are my specialty. Old as my learning may be - maybe just ask yourself - the truth - "Can I slay this dragon?" or do you just want others to offer up insights on how they can help you to slay the dragon?
Seriously - this is one of the most obvious "I want him, he doesn't want me" posts I've seen - I'll leave it at that. Good way of circumventing, tho. I'll hand you that. Honesty with self is something that Astrology is always good for, even when you want to kill the messenger.
saturnsayshi
Well-known member
Uhhh, actually I think you're seeing what you want to see. He asked me out for a solid two years and I turned him down. Dunno if you're familiar with the concept of how closely military personnel have to be able to work together and how difficult a relationship is when stationed in different places.
Kitchy
Banned
I don't know what miltary looks like, but I do know what camouflage looks like.
Good luck - hopefully you'll find more reasonable and desired responses from others while you further your quest about astrology and sexual desire and friendship and why it sometimes just doesn't work out the way you want it to.
peace fingers for listening now and rumenation later.
In the meantime - here is my astrological offering - Moon conjunct Neptune and Uranus in 2nd house. Start there, if no where else. Dreaming the magnificent relationship, rooted in practical sensuality in Capricorn. Diffused or confused by dreams, hopes wishes and the safety of never having to commit to a fantasy.
Saturn says "hi" back to ya.
Good luck - hopefully you'll find more reasonable and desired responses from others while you further your quest about astrology and sexual desire and friendship and why it sometimes just doesn't work out the way you want it to.
peace fingers for listening now and rumenation later.
In the meantime - here is my astrological offering - Moon conjunct Neptune and Uranus in 2nd house. Start there, if no where else. Dreaming the magnificent relationship, rooted in practical sensuality in Capricorn. Diffused or confused by dreams, hopes wishes and the safety of never having to commit to a fantasy.
Saturn says "hi" back to ya.
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