Why is he not contacting me?

There's this guy I'm casually seeing and I don't really understand why he always disappears. It's like, he texts me and we talk for, let's say, a week, then we see each other, and after that, he's gone, until the next time he comes around. I'm really confused because he gives me so much mixed signals. He texted me on his birthday asking me to go out with him, he's sometimes jealous, asks me if I missed him, and overall whenever I tell him something he does bothers me, he really does pay attention and changes it, which I appreciate. But then, on the other hand, he always disappears for a month or two and is, in general, somewhat mysterious. I suspect he might have a girlfriend.

So, the question is, why is he not contacting me?

https://imgur.com/a/SS1ju0z


I'm very new to this, but I tried interpreting it on my own, so please feel free to point out any mistakes I made in this interpretation and add your opinion or in general what do you think about this horary. Thank you in advance!

So, let's sort out the signifiers first:
me: Sun & Moon
him: Saturn

relevant house: third (communication)-ruler Venus

So, the first thing that popped in my head is that we are both hiding something here. Moon being in my 12th house, I'm hiding my emotions towards him, or, to be more specific, my emotional side. Saturn, which represents him, is in my 6th and his 12th house-he's in hiding now? There is a sextile between Saturn and Mercury, so I guess I will be hearing from him again. But I'm having difficulty finding out why he always goes MIA. Since the third house is empty,I'll see where its ruler, Venus, is. It's in the 5th house, in Sagittarius. I don't know how to interpret this other than, he's having fun and can't be bothered?

Mercury trine Neptune makes me feel like he'll try to deceive me?

Please helppp

You are symbolized by the sun. I think there are two ways to look at Ghost Man. Either he is symbolized by Saturn, the traditional ruler of the 7th house; or by Jupiter, ruler of the 5th house of casual impermanent romantic relationships. Either way, his significators are not making contact with the sun.

The more benign interpretation (5th house Jupiter) is that he likes feeling that the ladies are into him. His self-confidence gets a lift from this, but he becomes anxious if they express no interest after he's led them on.

Saturn, especially nestled together with Pluto shows a more deceptive, cynical side.

Of course, there are other logical explanations, like he does have a GF; or maybe he doesn't but does not want to become serious with anyone at this time. But turning the chart draws up his 12th house, which is also a factor in your situation.

Maybe you're anxious not to pressure him, but I think it would be reasonable to say something to him like, "When I didn't hear from you for a month, I made other plans."

The VOC moon suggests that otherwise you will not see much change in your dynamic.

He is saturn and you are sun,moon and venus. Saturn is in his 12th house, in his own rulership and receives the moon by triplicity and detriment. The moon is likewise in her 12th, in her own rulership and receives saturn by term and detriment. We could say that he's feeling almost doubtful and unsure about you in the same way like you do on the other side. Saturn doesn't receive sun and venus in dignities. Venus is in Saturn's term. He does have an emotional connection to you but maybe in some way he's not seeing you as the woman he wants to be with in a serious relatonship.
There is no other woman in this picture.
Mercury is ruler of your 3rd and his 5th, passing a conjunction with sun and sextile to saturn. When mercury turns direct, he will meet saturn again by sextile. So it's quite likely that you two have contact again.
The part of marriage is in your 5th and its dispositor is Jupiter. Jupiter is also the ruler of your 5th. You "love" Jupiter. He on the other hand receives Jupiter by term and fall. That means that you indeed have more interest in this relationship (it doesn't matter in what kind of relationship you are) than him. It seems that you want a commited relationship but he doesn't do. That's why he's seeing the whole thing in a more relaxed or playful manner. Probably he is aware of this fact that you want more than him, which causes him to keep you sometimes at distance.

waybread said:

Saturn, especially nestled together with Pluto shows a more deceptive, cynical side.

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First of all, thank you very much for taking the time to look at the chart and explain it all in detail. I quoted the part that I did not understand very well. Could you tell me what this Saturn/Pluto combination means in general, it doesn't have to relate only to this situation and this chart, this is also a learning opportunity for me.

Thanks once more!

Thank you so much! You pretty much wrote what I was already thinking, so I don't know if the chart is just representing my thoughts or this means I was right and I should pay attention to my intuition more.

kalinka said:

You "love" Jupiter. He on the other hand receives Jupiter by term and fall. That means that you indeed have more interest in this relationship (it doesn't matter in what kind of relationship you are) than him. It seems that you want a commited relationship but he doesn't do. That's why he's seeing the whole thing in a more relaxed or playful manner. Probably he is aware of this fact that you want more than him, which causes him to keep you sometimes at distance.

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What does ''term'' mean? Where do you see those connections between the planets? I mean, I do look at the aspects underneath the chart, but I can't understan the order or what comes next from it.

And, I don't really want a committed relationship with him, I mean, I did play with that idea, because I do want a relationship in general, but I've come to the conclusion that I don't want it with him. I'm really attracted to him, though.

The part of marriage and his dispositor signify the relationship you are in. Moon exalts Jupiter, Venus is in Jupiter's domicile and triplicity, Saturn receives Jupiter by term and fall. That indicates how much you want to be in a relationship. Often people loves the idea to be in a commitment and even enter into a relationship even though they aren't so fond of the counterpart. This is well represented in the chart.
Term is a dignity. Dignities and receptions show intentions, aspects show the chances to act.

I do a simplified form of traditional western astrology. I don't use the modern trans-Saturn planets as sign rulers, but I do sometimes use them as supplementary data points.

Kalinka is using a more detailed form of traditional western astrology.

Traditionally Saturn is considered to be a negative factor, except in a few types of situations. The modern planet of Pluto can indicate serious power plays and a dynamic of dominate-or-be dominated. Saturn is moving towards a conjunction with Pluto, so these planets are working together.

This man seems to be playing a cat-and-mouse game with you. Although it is possible that he simply is not ready to commit to anyone or even fears rejection if he commits all-in but you didn't, Saturn in his turned 12th house suggests something more deceptive and a bit cruel.

waybread;1011055@ said:

This man seems to be playing a cat-and-mouse game with you. Although it is possible that he simply is not ready to commit to anyone or even fears rejection if he commits all-in but you didn't, Saturn in his turned 12th house suggests something more deceptive and a bit cruel.

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This really scares me, especially the part about him being deceptive and a bit cruel. The reason it affected me is the fact I can't shake off the nagging feeling that there is something he is hiding, that there is something he is lying about, in general, something just seems off, so what you said really hits home. Is there a way for me to find out what he's deceptive about? Are there any indicators in the chart? I did try talking about this, but the subject is always avoided. Edit: The way we met was really weird. I live in a really small town where basically everyone knows me. He is from a different town. He saw me while visiting my town, really liked me and managed to get my number. First he wouldn't tell me who gave him the number, then he did say but I did not believe him that was the person that gave him my number. Could this be that deception part? He's texted me for months before I agreed to meet him in person. And we saw each other only a handful of times - those were my 'weak' moments, because I am at the same time very drawn to him and want to run away as far as possible. I usually don't respond to messages right away, told him that I'm not in the mood several times he asked me out.. So, what made me give in those times I did go out with him was his persistance. I don't understand how someone is ready to spend months texting and then drive for hours just to see someone if you don't feel something genuine? What's the point?

kalinka said:

That indicates how much you want to be in a relationship. Often people loves the idea to be in a commitment and even enter into a relationship even though they aren't so fond of the counterpart. This is well represented in the chart.

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This is true. There are many layers in this ''situationship'' that have dissuaded me from wanting a relationship with him, so I don't see it as a possibility, not anymore. I did in the past. I'm now on and off, trying to decide between never answering when he contacts me again and just going with the flow and enjoying the moment, because I do have a good when we're together.

kalinka said:

Term is a dignity. Dignities and receptions show intentions, aspects show the chances to act.

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Wow, this is explained so well! I am going to write this down in my astrology notebook. Thank you very much.

lunaluna said:

This really scares me, especially the part about him being deceptive and a bit cruel. The reason it affected me is the fact I can't shake off the nagging feeling that there is something he is hiding, that there is something he is lying about, in general, something just seems off, so what you said really hits home. Is there a way for me to find out what he's deceptive about? Are there any indicators in the chart? I did try talking about this, but the subject is always avoided. Edit: The way we met was really weird. I live in a really small town where basically everyone knows me. He is from a different town. He saw me while visiting my town, really liked me and managed to get my number. First he wouldn't tell me who gave him the number, then he did say but I did not believe him that was the person that gave him my number. Could this be that deception part? He's texted me for months before I agreed to meet him in person. And we saw each other only a handful of times - those were my 'weak' moments, because I am at the same time very drawn to him and want to run away as far as possible. I usually don't respond to messages right away, told him that I'm not in the mood several times he asked me out.. So, what made me give in those times I did go out with him was his persistance. I don't understand how someone is ready to spend months texting and then drive for hours just to see someone if you don't feel something genuine? What's the point?

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Sometimes people are deceptive and playing cat-and-mouse without doing it deliberately. They are manipulative without beeing aware of it. He's some kind egocentric in that situation.However I don't think he wants to harm you on purpose. He likes you but he's cherrypicking.

kalinka said:

Sometimes people are deceptive and playing cat-and-mouse without doing it deliberately. They are manipulative without beeing aware of it. He's some kind egocentric in that situation.However I don't think he wants to harm you on purpose. He likes you but he's cherrypicking.

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Thank you ❣️

Even without the astrology, lunaluna, you deserve a good, steady sort of man who doesn't play games with you. Is it time to walk away?

waybread said:

Even without the astrology, lunaluna, you deserve a good, steady sort of man who doesn't play games with you. Is it time to walk away?

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Well, yes.